#osdd problems

[schrodingerscollective]

[masksys]

We need more people who draw travis as a messy-haired, pathetic and ugly little guy with basically no social skills.

You guys have to remember,,,, he is not pretty. That’s okay! He doesn’t have to be! Not everyone in the world is a pretty little soft boy who waters plants and cuddles his boyfriend

Being ugly is real. I can say that we, as a collective, are very ugly. Filled with traumatized and rage-filled hateful idiots who want to feel flesh between our teeth, to tear out our bones and reveal to the world what truly being ugly is.

Being traumatized isn’t pretty. It’s painful and horrible and it fills you with rage and pain and you spend so many nights “ugly-“crying and trying to breathe but all that you can muster is a pathetic gasp.

Travis is not pretty. He has a black eye, his face scrunches up so tight when he’s mad,, he doesn’t care if he makes weird faces,, he just wants to show that he has HATRED and PAIN and the WHOLE GOD-FORSAKEN WORLD is going to burn WITH him.

Trauma, pain, rage, everything, it’s not pretty, it’s so hideous and it feels like being a wild animal or a bird whose freedom was stolen, whose wings were cut or ripped out. There’s so much hapiness and freedom ripped from your soul and it RUINS you.

Please, don’t reduce him to “just some soft boy with messy hair and a grumpy attitude.” There’s so much more. There’s years and years of trauma and suffering and he finally snapped, and he’s finally taking that match and letting it burn down the forests and turn each beautiful organism to softly-glowing ash.

This has been a post from the trauma holder (both source and outerworld). I am Mr Addison, and I bring this message as someone who knows exactly what it feels like to suffer and hold so much pent up rage until it all flows out of you like blood from a wound.

[smbrsys]

Primarily closeted system things

- hinting at other parts fronting

- “oh yeah this was the other me”

- weirdly obscure lyrics and reposts

- calling yourself ‘I’ even when talking about the collective

- “oh yeah my memory is just really bad lol”

- *telling someone about trauma* “I swear you’ve told me this before/in a different way”

- wanting to buy system things but not wanting others to find out

- lots of different accounts on different social media’s

- ^ forgetting the passwords to every single one

- (especially in school) grades going from top scores to absolutely nothing with ‘no explanation’

- living in your head most of the time

[divinerapturesys]

splitting be like-

[gay-we1rdo]

LOUD. SO LOUD. GIRL EAT. GOING TO MURDER EAT GIRL. GO AUTISM REGRESSION? BURNOUT? WANT SLEEP. LOUD SHOW. GIRLS WATCH SHOW LOUD LIGHT BRIGHT. GIRL LOUD LIPS EAT - 🐧

[thecorvussystem]

Don't you just hate when you're minding your own business, listening to playlists on shuffle, when a song starts to play and fucking 𝙇𝘼𝙐𝙉𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎 an alter to the front like a sleeper agent and theyre all like

"𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈"

[dissociative-memes]

[Image: 18-piece background, alternating between blue & orange with a picture of a young degu in the middle.

Top text reads: “Forgets everything”

Bottom text reads: “Including the fast I've forgotten things”]

Did I blog this already? And would many of those with amnesia remember I blogged this... if I didn't post it already then why does it seem familiar? Or did I think about posting it but not actually post it?

[toomanymikes]

im so tired of being confused and i really wish i could talk to someone about it, but no one i know knows anything about did/osdd or is still figuring it out themselves. and i dont even know !! if it even applies to me? every time i try to think about it my brain immediately goes "you are faking this !!!! you are making this up because you want to be special" but ?? faking for whom?? it's not as if i'm talking to anyone about it.

i just really wish i could find more info on osdd and especially from people who don't have clear alters? because i feel like i'm constantly a different person and there is consistency in it as well, it's like there are a few different 'modes' but not in the way that it's just me adjusting to a situation or having emotions, while at the same time i am consciously experiencing it? so it *must* be me the whole time but i so often feel like i'm just a passive observer watching myself say and do things that i dont necessarily agree with or want to do but it also still feels like i *could* stop it, so that has to mean it's all just me right? it's very confusing. and i feel like a keep "waking up" even though i am already awake.

also i don't know if i'm experiencing amnesia because i do feel like i remember things, but the way you remember dreams, and there is no emotional part to it. like i can't really remember emotions and it happens a lot that i'm talking about smth and someone asks me about smth i said earlier and i just cannot remember what they mean or what i meant with the thing i said. idk idk i just wish i could figure out why i feel so confused and vague all of the time