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Many Alts! Handle It!
Here's my current roster! All links go to the character’s tag.
For posts about all/most of my characters that may not be tagged individually, see #all the characters.
Note: At the time of this writing (July 2023), I only have in-game access to my Balmung alts plus Strammund due to my current FFXIV subscription type. I'll still take asks for any of them, though!
A sketch portrait commission for @renofmanyalts of their wonderful character, Zhah’ra
Thank you thank you thank you sooo much for the commission. He was so much fun to work on and a real challenge with that hairstyle.. OHMAHGOD that hair was just a blast! I’m so happy how it turned out and i love it <.< So i went overboard and made 3 versions <.<
Commission Info
Assorted Adventurer Plates
I've been gradually working on creating portraits and adventurer plates for my characters as it occurs to me to do so.
It's really fun to figure out what to put in the background for the screenshots. I've been gradually refining my methods, and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, but a lot of times I end up missing one or more details, lol
Further musings and an update of what's up with me lately under the cut:
Retainer Relationships
Apparently a lot of my characters have Zhah'ra as a retainer. Go figure.
My first response when I saw this tweet was "oh god! too many to list!"
...but then I listed them anyway. 😅
One of Zhah'ra's retainers is Iris, his coworker/friend from when he was working at a bathhouse in Ul'dah (also an alt)
Renan's retainers are their component selves (back before they got chimera'd together) and also their old colleagues and comrades from the Nymian armed forces.
Silver Sage's retainers are all (very vaguely) members of his village back home, including his protege.
One of Maati's is her black sheep cousin (also an alt)
Ryoku's retainers are the lord he serves, his little sister Aiko, and a few of his fellow retainer-soldiers.
Danyell has his older sister Danicka and a few other members of the heretic band he was part of for a while in Coerthas.
Raranen's retainers include his mother Fafala and several people who work for his chocobo breeding stable, including his jockey, Marshall.
Iris has Zhah'ra (former coworker and friend) and Dee (reluctant acquaintance) in retainer form.
Mama Dee's retainers include Zhah'ra, who used to be in her dance troupe; Daisy, the dancer who took over the troupe when Dee retired; her husband, T'arik; and Amande and Lumien, her husband's two IC retainers.
Maparhi has her Hearer mentor, her mother Aynur, Zhah'ra (her cousin), and a few acquaintances from the Shroud as her retainers.
Surprisingly, only 10 out of 18 alts with retainers have story-significant ones - fewer than I expected!
I actually have a habit of generating retainers kind of in a hurry and then accidentally making them into NPCs - or sometimes full alts! - a long time after the fact, lol, but sometimes it goes the other way around, where a "failed" alt will be repurposed as a retainer.
∞ (2/3 ! :D)
Put a “∞” in my ask box and I’ll shuffle my music player combined character/RP playlists and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.
Many are the days I've wanted to cease Lay myself down and find some relief Heavy is the head that gets no sleep We carry our lives around in our memories So take away this apathy And bury it before it buries me
— Cold Is the Night by The Oh Hellos (full lyrics)
This song made it onto a playlist because I connect it with Cain Locke (played by @ever-searching) and particularly a recent arc about the companionship between him and Zhah'ra.
However, these specific lyrics are my favorite because they resonate with me on a personal level. Sleep struggles are a perennial issue for me, and the quality and length of my sleep directly affect both my mood and my emotional resilience. When I am sleep-deprived, I grow fragile and self-isolating, and that can go to some pretty dark places if it goes on long enough.
In spite of its melancholy tone, I find this song deeply calming and reassuring because it is about reaching out for connection. (A pretty big theme for Cain and Zhah'ra, I think!)
Thank you for the ask, @thevoilinauttheory!
(⬇ Video embed below ⬇)
∞ (and the third! :) I wanna know what you find in your playlist(s) lol)
Put a “∞” in my ask box and I’ll shuffle my music player combined character/RP playlists and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.
Hold to this significance And lean into the process Rest and know, the love you hold It won't be taken back, no
How sweet, the taste of certainty The gift you gave is safe with me
(Moving deeper in a place of rest, seeking victory inside a death, speaking slowly when I'm out of breath, losing confidence between the steps
Finding center when I'm breaking left, wasting water in a desert bed, chasing wind outside the promised land... Know the story isn't over yet.)
— TrusT by half·alive (full lyrics)
This was a song you gave me for Zhah'ra, Max! And what a great fit it is, too -- I had a very hard time narrowing down which lyrics to include since so many of them resonate with me for him. (So much water imagery, and trees, too... it's really perfect.)
In addition to it being a more general character song, I tend to associate this one with Zhah'ra's relationship with Negevs Ha'dov (@negevshadov) -- particularly the refrain. Although Zhah'ra has many deep-running cracks in his ability to trust and be certain of others' feelings toward him, Negevs has been a steady, restful presence whose affection has been difficult to doubt.
I think my most-favorite part of the song, though, is the part in parentheses. These lines are sung beneath the main vocals toward the end of the song, almost in a murmur - difficult to hear through the singer's crescendoing pleas for understanding ("tell me why I feel this way"), but included in the official lyrics nonetheless. To me they speak of persistence and resilience, of moving through the difficult parts of a journey with the hope that this will not be all that there is. Zhah'ra is adaptable, pliable -- sometimes to the point of submerging himself -- but he is always finding ways to steady and re-center himself and to continue.
Thank you for the ask, @thevoilinauttheory!
(⬇ Video embed below ⬇)
⏳ for Zhah'ra!
For every “⏳” I receive, my muse will openly talk about a bit of their backstory.
Who: Zhah’ra Savaptha; Silvienne (NPC)
What: Silvienne has idle curiosities.
Where: The Stray Inn, The Black Shroud
When: Relatively recently.
Content: Warnings for implied child neglect, mild dissociation.
Written for MAHI prompt words: VILLAGE, LISTEN
Zhah'ra looked up from his book, his ears lifting in surprise. "Where I grew up?"
"Yes!" Silvienne offered him a smile as she settled her spectacles back into place. "You're forestborn, aren't you?" Her pen scratched quietly as she looked from document to ledger to schedule. Of late she had taken to working in the back corner of the tavern, spread out over one of the banquet tables. Too stuffy in the cellarage, she had said. Zhah'ra wondered if she was just wanting for company.
"I -- yes. I guess so," he replied. "I'm not entirely sure where I was born."
Silvienne tilted her head. "Oh, did your mum never say?"
Zhah'ra shook his head, his ears folding back. "She -- we avoided settlements. The Calamity changed so many of the natural landmarks, the weather... it's hard to know for certain, just from memory."
Silvienne hummed. "Strange, ain't it, going back to a familiar place and finding it's... almost like it's somewhere else entirely."
Zhah'ra's gaze fell back to the book in his lap, so new that the binding creaked when he turned a page, the ink of the illustrations bright against the paper.
His fingers brushed over the painted blossom with its layers on layers.
Clematis. Climbing habit. Large, showy blooms. With careful dosing, treats headache and nervous disposition. Causes stomach bleeding when consumed in large amounts.
(The cool dark of the overhang, smell of wet stone and loam and greenery falling, curtain-like, across the opening - purple petals opening to the rain.)
(Later, clearer: trailing vines draping from the edges of the outcropping near Hawthorne Hut, broad leaves and familiar flowers.)
"I think... it must have been in part of what is now the East Shroud, near Baelsar's Wall. But not on the other side of it. My mother's older sister lived out there - what's called the East End now, I think. When I was very little, she came to live with us for a while, because the wall being built destroyed the village she lived in."
"Horrible!" Silvienne clucked. "Damnable Garleans...." But she did not look up from her ledgers. This was old news.
Her words barely reached him. Gathering his legs against his chest, he tucked his chin behind his knees. His eyes stared, unseeing, at the floor.
🙞⁕🙜
Voices murmuring, half-obscured by the crackle of the fire. Woolen blanket scratching at his nose, trapping his breath, keeping it silent; suffocating. Ears straining.
"What do you think you're doing with the boy? The long hair, all of it. Are you so desperate?"
"You lost your girl. You of all people should understand."
A scoff. "I understand. I also understand - as you must, too - that he's not to be kept. Let him go, like the rest."
A long silence.
"Pray to the Lover, Zhah. Beg forgiveness. She may yet break this curse."
At the edge of the camp, lying in the dark: a small boy struggling to breathe.
🙞⁕🙜
"--h'ra. Zhah'ra?"
He bolted upright. "I'm sorry!"
Silvienne was leaning forward across the table and wearing a puzzled expression. "What're you apologizin' for, Zhah'ra? It just seemed like we lost you for a moment. I wasn't sure if you had heard my question."
Zhah'ra felt himself freeze and cursed himself, knowing it was showing on his face. More and more, he was slipping.
Gently, Silvienne repeated: "I was just asking if you want some tea. I was going to make some."
Zhah'ra's stomach churned at the thought, but he summoned a smile. "That sounds lovely, thank you."
"Alright. You sit tight, now."
He sat.
------------
Image: Clematis botanical illustration by Vracovska, Shutterstock. Resized and color-adjusted.
🌺 headcanon: Zhah'ra has a strong and healthy constitution and rarely falls ill, even with a cold (it's always his aether that gets him, and rarely germs)
Basically, yes! 9/10
At baseline, it is a little unusual for Zhah’ra to get sick, and he typically recovers quickly when he does come down with something. The times when he has been most unwell have all been related to his aether stores being dangerously depleted.
However, there is a big "if" attached: his constitution is only resilient in this way when his basic physical needs are fully met.
In times when Zhah’ra has been malnourished or poorly rested for an extended period, he has been much more prone to illness and infection. (When he first arrived in Ul’dah, he fell ill three times in the first moon.)
He knows that he cannot afford to be sick, so he has learned to pay close attention to his basic needs - at least, as much as his circumstances permit.
