#~crk

[raincxtter]

when u pull on normal gacha but end up getting affogoto and dark cacao cookie anyways

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

I'm Sorry (10-8-16)

I’ve been messing around with this Tumblr blog for two years now and have been pulled into usibg it for self-hurt statements and pestered into garnering attention during my depression fits. I admit that I have tried my best to pull myself out, but I can see that I still haven’t inproved and Im sorry I went back on my promise. I mean it for now. I’m moving in a new direction in my life and its scary. I have been learning a lot about myself from examining my past and going to therapy and I can say with certainty that I really dont know what Im doing on this site. To tell true, In disconnected with reality. All my life, Ive fabricated a world to cope with the nurturing I never received and the love and acceptance I never found. I promised in therapy to practice putting that aside and reminding myself I have someone I can go to for the things I need. So I go to him now instead and dont need to beg for attention. So Im sorry for that and Ill stop myself in the future. As for who that is… You may guess but Im sorry I cant tell you. Its confidential. I am trying my best to understand who I am but from my escapist tendencies, Ive sort of become mildly dissociative and can get the feelings of my myriad characters from my hundreds of books mixed up with my own feelings. This has caused me problems over the years–especially when I had no idea what was happening and didnt know I was experiencing feelings that were not my own. What does all this mean to you? Maybe nothing really but I want to start over new here–along with my life I’m slowly building

In short, I’m thinking of you as a friend It may be odd or strange st first, but it will be easy for me due to my fantasizing everything to cope. Ill act like Im talking to a close friend who understands me and Ill share whats on my mind or some things I thought of and some fun things I saw today or whatever. It wont be all angsty or whatever and hopefully it will get us all to know this strange girl a little better.

Ive been told in therapy that I have no idea how to socialize and cant pick up on social cues or how to act in public (so as not to bother people to scare then away for example) so firstly I apologize if I said or did something stupid and also I am using this friend thing as practice for that, too, as Ive also been using chats to practice conversation. Videos may help, too. As that would help me accept myself as I am as well as how I see myself fictionally. Whether or not you listen I dont mind as I need to practice understanding that the world doesnt revolve aroune me but that doesnt mean Im worthless. My life revolves aroubd me and I need to make it that way–not rely on others. But if you choose to support me, I promise to be soft to you. I really am soft… Too soft.

Lastly, the only thing I can find myself saying is this: You know the reason why this is called “Many Stars, One Universe”? It’s because I believe each of the souls that come to me in my books are in some small way a part of me. Some of my emotions and experiences are reflected in what they say, and I cherish each of my characters so deeply abd intrinsically that sometimes I feel they are past lives or departed souls that have latched onto me or have connected to me in some way. And so just as the universe may be made up of billions of stars, it doesnt mean it is separate or segregated into trillions of different dots. They all cone together to form the grand whole.

That’s me. Let’s get to know who that is.

TL;DR: Im sorry for my past mistakes and Im trying again with the view of writing to a friend on here and sharing the posts I like. I’m a reality escapist and dont understand social interactions on a practical level so please be patient with me as I am learning snd trying to improve myself in therapy. I will no longer post “cry for help” attention-seeking messages from depression because I have someone to go to for attention/validation when Im depressed now.

Im pretending this blog is a friend I can talk to to share my thoughts from the day and posts I like

Thank you for reading this post. It means a lot to me

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

*Chosen as a finalist in the prestigious Somerset Literary Contest by Chanticleer Reviews* BEYOND THE FURTHER SEA ...

I posted a large chunk of the book here for all those who want to read the [almost] award-winning book by the invisible girl.

Please enjoy, and as this book’s formatting took me four months to do is much more evident in print, please consider getting the real thing if you enjoy what you read!

Beyond the Further Sea (c) 2015 ~CRK

Here’s the summary:

*Chosen as a finalist in the prestigious Somerset Literary Contest by Chanticleer Reviews*

BEYOND THE FURTHER SEA is the story of 5 kids whose lives intertwine via a shared journal that traverses time and space.

-While out for a walk in the rain, Felicia discovers a journal sitting on a park bench, and she decides to rescue it. Filling its cream-colored pages with poems and letters to the stars, Felicia continues to mourn the recent death of her sister, Charlotte, but the process of writing helps her to cope. As she distances herself from friends and family, Felicia finds she is all alone. But then the pages of the diary mysteriously begin to fill with other kids' handwriting and entries! In discovering these people and their stories, Felicia begins to understand herself, and--at last--she finally realizes what she must do to overcome her grief and to move on.

*Self-published at Lulu.com! Search for title or for ~CRK

(c) ~CRK 2015

*2015 era, an era of darker stories

----THIS BOOK IS RATED 15+ for some violence and disturbing themes-----

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE MY BOOK MADE IT TO THE FINALS OF THE SOMMERSET LITERARY AWARD ON CHANTIREVIEWS!!! I’M SERIOUSLY SCREAMING THIS IS INSANE

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

My current novels (that will be done this year)

Novels by ~CRK to be published in 2015

STEP BY STEP

Elaine, a country girl who likes to write poems about nature, has enjoyed her simple life up to now. Simple days with nice friends and laid-back problems. But now everything is changing. Suddenly, everything compounds over the course of a year: the small high school closes, her dad loses his job, her grandma suddenly falls ill. Now in the depths of despair with no escape, Elaine (along with her brother Corey) hops aboard Esoteria’s public school, where she crosses paths with Mariah, the Friendship Club Girl. With Mariah’s help, Elaine tries to overcome the sad, ongoing series of events while trying to find the self she loses when her beloved grandma suddenly loses her memories and her joyful personality.

“You need to take these things step by step...”

D’ALLER JUSQU’AU BOUT (to go until the bitter end)

[I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t tell. All I can say is it is a very very VERY in-depth, historically-based fanfiction about aph France. (sweetie)] [also OTP haha...]

I’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE COME TOMORROW

Annistelle, along with her four friends, have come to this land from another world to discover things of merit, beauty, and wonder to bring back to their blank world to fill it with something of meaning. While in this magical new world, Annistelle is drawn to the inhabitants’ way of life and the stories which the land instinctively tells her. Visiting the villages and the artist which she first met, she finds many wonderful things to bring back to the blank world... But the other four do not understand her fascination and instead want to leave for somewhere else.

A novel about belonging and finding your place in the world as well as symbolism for what sorts of valuable traits and ideas you wish to take to the future to make a better world.

(Yes, this is that genius novel. Please tell me I’m not delusional)

That’s all for now... More novels to come as I finish these and move on to more XD I’ve got millions of them. Literally jk I think I’m up to about 50 main novels or so... Someone please send help

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

Rather than jumping on bandwagons and being instantly famous, I would rather ride the wings of my heart and be unknown to all but the angels

[sandsandtheirfanboys]

AUTHOR UPDATE! ^O^

I have been doing lots of writing lately!

Please look forward to two new books and a free short story coming soon. One book is the first installment of the Fancy Ladies' Club series--a series of which I am quite proud! The second is a new "novel" (one of my main stories which I hold dear to my heart) that is quite short and written in a different format. Please look forward to these. The short story will be free, the FLC book will be $1.95, and the "novel" will be $2.95 even though it is short because it is important to me.

Sampling will be available for all three! Please read them and share them with your friends and family! Books make a great Christmas gift...especially if you have a loved one who wants an e-reader :)

(Free short story--"Something"--available now

Fancy Ladies' Club book one available this Wednesday

The Heart has Always Known, a short novel, will be available for purchase before this coming Saturday)