before dawn
lohen x reader
summary: it's been a few days since lohen nearly got himself killed fighting rerir, and he's still under your care — convalescing, clingy, and shamelessly milking every second of it.
topics: lohen is down really bad, nsfw (morning & sleepy sex, vaginal penetration, a little bit of voyeurism i think), lightkeeper&medic!reader
i think i'm making lightkeeper!reader agenda…,,,
english is not my first language. please correct me if i got something wrong, thank you!
A few days had passed since Lohen had been seriously beaten up by his fight with Rerir, and you had to admit he had never frustrated you and impressed you more than he did that day.
You happened to be stationed at the camp that time, filling in for a colleague from your unit. You didn't mind it, and it seemed like it was shaping up to be a genuinely peaceful day.
And then evening came, and Varka ran into the medical tent with Lohen on his back. Given how bloodsoaked Varka's clothes were, you were certain he was the injured one — until he laid the vice-captain down on the bed.
His condition was terrifying.
Had it not been for the fact that Lohen somehow still had his eyes open, his lips curving into a smile at the sight of you, you would have been certain you were only looking at his corpse. A moment later he naturally allowed himself to faint, now that he was aware he no longer had to try, because you would take care of him and keep him alive.
It took you the entire night to stabilize his condition. As an experienced and skilled medic, you had dealt with similar cases many times before, and even though you had been in a relationship with Lohen for some time now, you had managed to keep your emotions in check throughout. You knew that this damn idiot would live, because people like him always had luck on their side — but when, near dawn, another one of his wounds reopened, you could no longer hold back tears of frustration.
That was when Lohen woke up too. "I've died, haven't I? That's why I'm seeing an angel."
The tears of frustration turned into irritation, which you poured entirely onto Lohen for being reckless and irresponsible. You were so swollen inside with your own feelings, stress, and exhaustion that in the midst of it all, you didn't notice the expression on his face. This time he wasn't hiding his true emotions.
He knew perfectly well that he had failed: he had been too weak. He was a weak, insufficiently strong mortal. He had nearly gotten himself killed, and if not for Varka — and yet he had the audacity to claim he would be able to protect you?
But despite how absurdly furious you were with him, you were still incredibly proud of him. Surviving a clash with such a powerful anomaly and on top of that remaining conscious through kilometres of Varka's marathon with him on his back was already an enormous achievement. Most knights — or even Lightkeepers — wouldn't last even a minute on that battlefield.
Lohen listened to this with wide eyes while you wiped yours, tears still streaming down your face. He had expected everything: that you'd curse him out, call him a stupid, mindless idiot, that you might even break up with him. And while a genuinely unkind string of words did leave your mouth, he never would have thought you'd tell him that it wasn't luck that he survived.
Luck was for inexperienced, average knights. You, Lohen, are stubbornly and genuinely strong. If you had walked this earth as long as Varka, you would match him without hesitation. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re absolutely fucking idiot.
After those words, Lohen pretended to faint again, and you sighed, calmed yourself, stitched his wound closed once more, and then, completely spent, carefully lay down at his side in a way that wouldn't accidentally hurt him. You finally fell asleep, leaving him completely undone by your words.
While Lohen had already known before that you weren't going to let him go, he was now certain he had to somehow ensure that even after death, you would never know a moment's peace from him. Never again.
Tonight you were, of course, sleeping beside him again. Lohen hadn't even needed to push you into it (though he had been prepared to) because his condition was still poor and required constant monitoring. And for some reason he had become terribly clingy, so you'd had to temporarily abandon your duties — for which Varka had to pay Starshyna two of his knights to compensate for your absence from the team — in order to look after him. He was like a sick child who needed attention and comfort at every turn.
"Oh—Fuck," Lohen groaned quietly, waking from a very intense dream.
Dawn was nearly breaking when Lohen felt a painful erection straining against his trousers. Although his entire body ached, his libido, rather than dropping, had surged sharply — and the worst part was that he knew perfectly well why. He desired you more than usual after your recent words. You had appreciated him. You had unknowingly comforted him in the worst possible state he'd ever been in mentally. Now he needed to properly fuck you for it, or he felt like he'd die if he didn't do it soon.
For the past few nights he had somehow managed to restrain himself due to his limbs being non-functional, but today he felt significantly better. Before you had fallen asleep you had noticed that too — by the way he had wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close against him in the night.
Through a gap in the tent he could see that there was still enough time to deal with his peculiar problem, so without hesitation he got to work, slowly kissing along the back of your neck.
God, he really had missed being fully functional. The pathetic rubbing against your backside and breathing in your scent as he left damp kisses along your neck made him tremble with arousal. He needed you so badly, so desperately needed you, that he didn't even notice his grip becoming more and more possessive. It even briefly crossed his mind that if he had died that day, he would have resurrected solely to kill anyone who dared comfort you in his absence or try to take care of you. You were his and his alone — he would never let you go.
A soft, tender bite to your earlobe had your eyes fluttering open, drowsiness washing over you. For a moment you were certain you were still dreaming — until you felt a warm vibration against your ear.
"Good morning, nightingale," Lohen whispered, his left hand travelling from your waist to your thighs until it slipped beneath your nightgown. You let out a small squeak as your warm skin met his ice-cold fingers.
"Lohen, what the hell," you mumbled, flustered, immediately flushing. It wasn't the first time Lohen had shamelessly made a move on you, and you had no objections to it in principle — but not when the camp would soon be waking up, and when there was still a considerable risk that his body would suffer for it. "Go back to sleep, for archons sake."
"Mm, I don't think so," he chuckled, then dragged his fingers low enough to slide along your folds. You grabbed his hand to stop him, but he only threaded his fingers through yours, using your own hand to touch you through the fabric of your underwear. You inhaled sharply, and that set him alight even further. "I need to fuck you, archons. Fuck, let me do it, please."
As he said it, you felt his hardness pressing against your backside, his face still buried in the curve of your neck. His warm breath and lazy, languid kisses against your skin sent shivers through you. You glanced toward the gap in the tent and swallowed, noticing the light growing outside.
It hadn't escaped you that Lohen had asked. Never — not once in your life together — had you heard the word please from his lips. His low, hoarse voice, dripping with quiet desperation, sent an electric jolt down your abdomen and straight to your core.
"L-Lohen, fuck, we can't," you answered, trying to stop his hand. He stilled, and you turned your face slightly toward him to look at him. And that, honestly, was a mistake. You had never seen him more aroused or more hungry-looking — his eyes were practically devouring you, and if not for the fact that he couldn't make any sudden movements, he most certainly would have been fucking you already. "Everyone's about to wake up, first of all. And second of all, your wounds could reopen. Do you have any idea how much work goes into stitching them back up?" you added, pressing your thighs together to steady yourself.
Lohen, however, wasn't listening to a single word of your speech, staring at your face as though it were a painting. Fuck, those sleepy eyes of yours could send him to war — you were so unbearably endearing when you were still half asleep.
"We still have a little time, darling," he murmured, amused, moving his hand to your hip. He winced slightly with pain — and pleasure — when you tried to gently push him back, but it only created a delicious friction (and pain from his still-unhealed ribs). "Don't make me suffer. Take care of your patient."
"Lohen, for archons sake, you have a broken arm, broken ribs, a sprained ankle, massive unhealed wounds, and —"
"And a perfectly healthy cock," he finished for you, grinning roguishly. You rolled your eyes, so he moved his hand along your hip to your cheek, turning your head further toward him to kiss you tenderly.
Lohen kissed you in a thousand different ways. From stealing quick pecks in public when no one was looking, just to annoy you, all the way to intense attempts to steal the breath from your lungs when you were completely alone. Every time he was infuriatingly insufferable about it — he loved tormenting you, loved sucking on your lips until they grew sensitive and then biting them, often until they bled. He loved, to your endless exasperation, pushing his tongue as deep into your mouth as possible, as though he meant to devour your soul or somehow leave his mark inside you permanently.
Sometimes he kissed you as though the world was ending tomorrow, and sometimes he drew out your kisses in such a languid, unhurried manner, as though you had all the time in the world within your blissful little universe.
This time it felt like something in between — and you felt it through your entire body. A shiver passed through you.
When he pulled away, a thin thread of saliva lingering between you, he pressed his forehead to yours and stroked your face with his thumb. "You don't even realize how badly I need you right now."
Fuck. In your entire life you had always been quite good at being assertive. You also knew very well that you should be refusing him right now.
But the moment he said those words, looking into your eyes as though you were the only person capable of saving him from whatever was happening right now, or in his head in general — even you couldn't say no to him.
"Fuck—Alright," you said, at which he nearly lunged at you immediately, so you had to grab him by his choker to hold him in place. "But not here. Not like this. You'll reopen your wounds. We need to— Archons, come on, I'll help you up."
You propped yourself up on your elbows and hauled yourself off the cot, which had only been serving as a makeshift bed anyway. It was genuinely a miracle it had held two people, but apparently you were both within the weight limit.
Lohen obediently accepted your arm to lean on. Only then did you notice the sheer size of the tent in his trousers, and you swallowed. Archons — what had gotten him like this? Because this didn't look like his usual morning erection that showed up from time to time.
With slow, careful steps you shuffled over to the desk. You sat him down in the chair, checking that everything was alright and that nothing was hurting him. Even if it was, he was evidently hiding it well enough — so you sighed and sank to your knees to untie the drawstring of his pyjama trousers. He threaded his good hand through your hair, watching you with devotion, and exhaled sharply when his aching cock finally sprang free from his underwear.
You wrapped your fingers around him and stroked slowly a few times, and when you were just about to take him into your mouth, Lohen tugged on your hair to pull you back.
"As much as I'd love that — I actually, truly need to feel you, nightingale," he muttered, and his tone sounded as though he were drunk. God, you were genuinely starting to worry about him, but you couldn't deny that you loved hearing him admit it so openly. He always tried to draw those admissions out of you instead, often through methods that left you voiceless. "Fuck, I'm going to die if you don't start riding me right now."
You were too confused and still too half-asleep to tease him about it. Instead you swallowed, stood up, pulled your underwear down and off, and stepped toward him. You braced one hand against the arm of the chair, and he pulled you down into a deep, passionate kiss as he slowly guided you to sink down onto him.
You moaned into his mouth when you felt the head of him brush against your clit. You broke the kiss.
"L-Lohen, if you notice anyone coming near, we need to stop immediately," you started, looking at him seriously while he smiled at you with that wicked glint of his. "And we go slow. No unnecessary movements on your end, understood?"
He nodded — just get on with it already. He slid his hand beneath your nightgown and closed his fingers around your waist, and you took hold of the base of him and sank down, painstakingly slowly, until you felt all of him inside you.
You both breathed sharply into each other's mouths. Lohen didn't look away from your eyes for even a second, staring into them with an intense, consuming focus. You could have sworn he was already trembling, as though he were close — which made you hide your face shyly in the curve of his neck and wrap your arms around his. That sudden shyness of yours, and most likely the fear of being caught, only fuelled him further.
He nearly thrust his hips to set a proper pace, when your hand came down to his chest to hold him in place. He understood the message, so he tipped his head back against the chair and exhaled roughly as you set your own slow, sleepy rhythm.
"Fuck. You're going to kill me, sweetheart," he whispered.
Lohen's body was usually terribly cold — this time, though, you felt almost scorching heat radiating off his skin. You couldn't help it that your eyelids began to droop against his neck, desperately chasing after the last scraps of the sleep he had brutally stolen from you earlier. Still, you kept enough focus in your movements not to hurt him.
For Lohen, however, it was nothing short of torture. He genuinely, truly needed to drive into you as deep and as hard as he possibly could. He couldn't hold back the quiet, pained but deeply erotic sounds falling from his lips into your hair as you rode him like you were punishing him for something.
To find even a little relief, his fingers found your waist again — this time closing around the fabric of your nightgown rather than your skin, so as not to grip you too hard. He sensed that might read to you as a signal that something was wrong, and he absolutely did not want you to stop. The camp could come under attack right now and he still wouldn't pull himself out of your tight warmth. Not for anything.
"Ha—fuck, you feel too fucking good. You're taking me so well. I missed you so fucking much, nightingale," he said, almost deliriously.
He'd had relationships in his life, of course. And he liked sex. But he had never felt this matched with anyone the way he did with you. You awakened something animal in him — his libido had grown considerably since you had met, which was already absurd, and now it had somehow climbed even higher — and he simply could not keep his hands off you whenever he had the chance. You fucked like rabbits, and archons, Lohen had no idea how he had ever lived without you.
Thinking about it now, swallowed up by your wet, clenching walls, he thought he might have actually killed himself if you had rejected him that day. Not only had you thoroughly scrambled his mind to the point where he couldn't stop thinking about you — his body needed you the way someone needs something they've become addicted to. The thought that there could exist some reality in which he had tasted you and then lost you filled him with a sick, hollow dread.
He felt you quicken, as though you wanted to fuck those thoughts right out of him. In any other circumstances, being the masochist he was, he would have been absolutely beside himself with your pace. This was, technically, gentle sex — or at least it was supposed to be — and yet, purely because of his sexual frustration, he was whimpering and whining as though you were taking his virginity.
He helped you along a little with his hand, allowing for slightly deeper movements. You moaned against his collarbone, tightening your fingers on his neck and shoulder. Lohen growled low in his throat, feeling himself slowly approaching the edge — it was almost embarrassing, it had never happened to him this fast before.
"F-fuck, I'm close," he muttered, sounding completely delirious by now — which made you shudder, and with trembling, already-tired hips you gathered the last of your strength and pressed down harder, still maintaining that slow, sweet, sleepy rhythm. He groaned, feeling an overwhelming urge to sink his teeth into your neck to muffle the pathetic sounds coming out of his mouth. "I cannot f-fucking wait to — ah, fuck you properly. I-I won't let you go for fucking h-hours, sweetheart."
You clenched tighter around him at those words. Lohen's thighs were shaking with the effort of holding back from driving up into you with everything he had.
And then he heard footsteps.
He lifted his gaze toward the gap in the tent. Damn, it was already light enough outside — someone had evidently gotten up early. But he was so desperately close to his release, and he could feel from you that you were just as close. He pulled you in against him, sliding his hand to your back, and inhaled sharply through the pain as your chest pressed against his ribs. It blurred instantly with the pleasure, but he had done it solely to be able to better control the situation.
Your soft moans were echoing in his ears when someone suddenly approached the tent. Through the gap, one of the knights peered inside — as it happened, one of Lohen's own subordinates, Gunther — who went completely still at the sight.
Gunther made eye contact with Lohen and felt dread crash through him, but his body refused to obey, transfixed on the scene before him. He watched your hips rise and fall so enticingly on the vice-captain's cock, as though you were his own personal little plaything (oh, if only he knew it was Lohen who had been begging for access to you... and that if Lohen could have, he'd have been fucking you senseless himself already...). Your moans were absolutely beautiful, practically hypnotic. Fuck, you were worth every sin.
Your relationship with Lohen was a secret — not because you wanted to hide it, but because you didn't feel the need to announce it. You still had your respective duties, and some might consider it unprofessional, especially given the seniority of both your positions.
Remembering that, Lohen possessively bit down into your neck, holding eye contact with his cadet with sick satisfaction. Mine.
The unexpected bite made you nearly cry out with pleasure, clenching around him harder than you ever had before. He felt you come undone on his cock, felt how greedily you took all of him for yourself. And still your movements didn't stop — you kept going, carrying him over the edge too. As his own peak crested, Gunther had already fled, newly blessed with the sight of your climaxing body.
Lohen came inside you with an intensity that left you breathless — you could feel him filling you to the point where your eyes rolled back, your legs giving out from beneath you, undone by his drawn-out, low groan and the iron grip of his hands on your waist.
You collapsed against him, spent and unable to move, panting against his skin while he stroked your back soothingly.
"Thank you, doctor. I feel so much better," he laughed softly, and you pulled back to look at his face. He was completely flushed, his smile curled in a way you knew all too well. Like he'd just gotten away with something. Catching your suspicious look, he quickly pulled you into a tender kiss. "Fuuuuuck. Stay with me like this for a moment, nightingale."
"Y-you know I can't, Lohen, ugh, let me go," you wriggled out of his hold, reluctantly. Lohen let out a mournful groan as the warmth of you left him. You felt, with some embarrassment, his release beginning to trickle down your thigh, so you quickly pulled your underwear back on — though Lohen, as ever, looked thoroughly delighted by that sight, making you flustered. "Fucking clean yourself up, I'll be right back."
He rolled his eyes in amusement, then did exactly as you'd told him. You disappeared behind the curtain, and he heard the rustle of fabric — you were most likely getting yourself ready to start the day. The thought that you would be walking around all day with his release inside you made his cock pulse again.
He tipped his head back against the chair. Archons, have mercy. Heal me so I can fuck her soon properly.
When you returned from behind the curtain, you were already dressed for work. He smiled, almost boyishly, as you helped him back to bed with a perfectly composed, professional expression. A moment later the noise outside had already begun — the sounds of hungry, freshly woken knights making their way to breakfast. He could see you breathe out in relief, unaware that anyone had caught you at all.
"Sweetheart," Lohen addressed you, as you leaned over his bandages to check that everything was in order. "After breakfast, would you send Gunther to me? If you don't know who he is, you definitely know Ursula — just ask her to point him out. Tell him I have some duties to hand off to him."
You nodded, and just as you were about to leave, Lohen caught you by the back of the neck and pulled you down into a teasing, yet unbearably deep and almost longing kiss. Oh, there he is.
"I'll bring you coffee with breakfast. I think you can have caffeine again by now," you murmured as you pulled away.
"What would I ever do without you, darling?" he smiled sweetly, a knowing glint in his eyes. "You're the best."
