I can't rhyme

Persephone probably had Seasonal Affective Dissorder

[tailights]

Too long I sat beneath the surface

Too long I ceased to breathe

I lost my will, my strength, my purpose

How could I cry? I could not grieve.

And before I knew what was happening

Sunlight and oxygen rushed into me

 I fought for air instinctually

But my body ached like death

Forcing myself to keep moving

Focusing on every breath

And although the thought may be grim

My heaven may be to sink, not swim

[tailights]

I sink deep into blue

And half-heartedly, I grasp

At tha small space above me

That I used to fill

Like everything else,

I feel it slip through my fingers

Time doesn't stand still

No matter what you're willing to sacrifice

No matter how long you stay awake,

The light still fades

No matter how many meals you skip,

Obligations never cease

No matter how much of yourself you give,

Nothing stays the same

No mercy

So the ground gives up underneath me

Heavy with the weight of time

And for a moment I freeze, and forget to savor it

And then I'm sinking again

[tailights]

You said that I probably taste like Calypso,

and I remember,

Odysseus,

trapped on that island.

How her salty-sweet kiss

and her heavenly body

and her desperate voice

hot in his ear

could keep a man from

what he desires most.

She could take

what he desires most.

She could become

what he desires most.

He wanted her

He wanted her

And yet he left.

And forgot.

And never looked back.

You said that I probably taste like Calypso.

You kiss my salty-sweet lips

and I pretend that you are wrong.

[tailights]

I’m waiting

Not quite sure what I’m waiting for,

But,

I’m waiting.

Stuck in my head like before,

But,

This time I remember

What  life really tastes like

I’m spiraling

Losing my grip on reality

Please, don’t let me go

Hold my hand

It’s so easy for you to hurt me

Don’t hurt me

Don’t hurt yourself

And one of these days,

I know

I’ll disappear

How many hearts

Will I break?

And somehow I know

Exactly what

Death tastes like

Somehow

I know that ache

I’m winning

But, God, at what cost?

Where did my childhood go?

Lost in the hands of

Those whose hearts I broke

It wasn’t my fault

I hope you know

I’m winning

And eventually

I’ll know exactly

What that means

To me

I’m waiting

I’m waiting

[tailights]

The moon is her perfect sideways grin, tonight

I’ve been staring at someone’s tail-lights for

Too long

Because every time I blink,

A long,

Dark gash flashes over the already impossible dark blue sky.

If the sky were to bleed, the world would die of fright.

Or toxic gasses.

I don’t like the thought of the sky bleeding.

But if the sky were scarred

Like me

Clouds forming raised white lines along the skin of it

Maybe I would be okay

If the sky wasn’t perfect

I’d live

[tailights]

Listen closely to my words

I’ll never say the same thing twice.

If a kiss could

Truly

Melt your pain away

And if the rain could

Truly

Wash this city clean

And if the night was

Truly

Made for lovers

I would never again wish for

Anything

But a dark and stormy night

With you

[tailights]

I don’t want to sing about the moon

Anymore

I want to sit in the new sunlight

I want to cast my shadow

Long

My fantasies are making me sick

And I need, need

A healthy dose of reality

To be well again

I need, need to be well again

[tailights]

You find yourself

Swallowed by apathy

Bound by doubt

To the driver’s seat of your own car.

You find yourself

Wondering what the air

In some town 2, 3, 4 hours down the road

Tastes like to a stranger such as yourself.

What flowers bloom in

Their summer?

Does the hard ground of every town

Smell the same after every rain?

You ask yourself,

Would you build a new self

In this new town,

With strange air?

Would anything change?

You would fall

Down this rabbit hole

Just to land back

In this driver’s seat.

[tailights]

 It was 3 am

It was a bad idea

She didn’t care.

She listened for the gurgling

Of the stream

But the drought had taken that, too.

The grass was wet

Her knees were torn

She didn’t care

It’s amazing, she wondered

How quickly my eyes

Adjust to this moonlight.                                                                                 

Five missed calls

Her mother was crying

She didn’t care

She had decided not to care anymore

I don’t care

I don’t care

I don’t care

[tailights]

I am a hearth fire

I will keep you warm.

If you give me your love,

I’ll keep you from Death

Cold

Dark

I’ll do it with a song in my heart.

I am a hearth fire,

Don’t leave me alone.

I’ll reach for more tinder

For soon I’ll grow cold

Else

I’ll burn my house down

Waiting for you.

If you try and stop me

I’ll burn you down, too

Please

Don’t forget to love me,

I’ll forget, too.

Please

Don’t let me be lonely,

I will become

Devoid of glow

Of warmth

No more spark

Negative light

Do not touch me, sirs,

Or I will swallow you whole

It will sustain me

To watch you burn

Do not stoke me, gentlemen,

‘Cause you think it’s funny

To watch me flare.

You must think a hearth fire

Servile

Tame

You take my warmth for granted

You think my love

Makes me small

I am a hearth fire.

Just watch

And you will see

What a hearth fire is

To me

[tailights]

Not so much falling as

Plummeting

Back into a love

I never asked for

Not that I’m complaining

I wish my words could be

As pretty as your dark eyes

I wish they would flow as well as this

Thirty-cent ink

You look so good

Standing next to me

With your mouth on my neck

Your hand on my bare hip

Don’t forget,

When we finally fall in love

To hold my hand

Don’t forget to remind me that we’ve fallen in love.

[tailights]

I

A good while ago, my curtains fell down

Exposing my room to the neighborhood

Leaving me and my cat no privacy

From passing cars and dogs taken on walks.

Nowhere to disrobe my naked body.

Well, not without putting on a show first.

Nowhere for me to be my god damn self

So for six days I hid in my bathroom

‘Til I grew sick from the scent of Clorox.

I found my oldest, holiest bed sheet,

Pinned it to the wall above my window,

With three clear thumb tacks and some silver tape.

Sunlight filters through the blue spotted sheet.

II

If you would sit on the edge of my bed

Any day in the fall, or maybe winter,

If you were to wait for the wind to come

Through the screen behind my open window

You would breathe it in, and it would taste like

Silver sunlight, filtering through clouds.

Parched anticipation of the rain.

The smell of diesel trucks returning home.

And the battering call of those black birds,

Crows, the only ones brave enough to stay.

All other winged beasts had sensed the storm

Coming days ago, many miles away.

Though all you would see from my lonely bed,

Is a blue spotted sheet pinned to the wall.

[tailights]

I’m giving up tonight

Put the sad songs on

The ones that make me want to cry

Wash my hair for me?

I can’t do it myself this time

Make me soft

Make me kind

I need to tell the stars, I’m sorry

You’re not wanted here tonight.

I’d rather dream about new sunlight

Green eyes

There’s a safe place here for me

It’s been waiting a day or two

I wouldn’t dare touch it in the state I’m in

Hold me under

Raise me up

Lay me down

                                                                      Go to sleep

[tailights]

“God, you make me feel like the loneliest  guy on Earth”

I think of what I left in that gray-lit parking lot

The still warm corpse of our enduring love

I’ve felt it growing cold with me

As days, weeks, months passed

I think about it a lot.

I think I died, too.

My heart has slowed

I’ve grown a wall

Where openness used to be

Am I afraid of what could get in?

Am I afraid of what I might lose?

All I had to offer this world was my heart

And now that’s gone, too,

Just like you

[tailights]

The tide pulls, pushes, pulses

Because the moon needs her to

And yet the moon

Would never dare to say as much

Out loud

The moon lusts, lingers, but leaves

Every morning

Like clockwork

She never even left

A note

The sea spends every day

Frolicking with the winds

Being warmed by the sun

Fueled by the origin of all life

Loved, out loud.

Yet, every night,

She lays her body down, calm

And stares skyward to the stars

Waiting, yearning

For the moon to love her back.