my names r bowie or party or doggy, my prns are it/pup/vamp/paw/xe, im uuuuh nonbinary & queer & poly !! taken by my wonderful bf 🫀 also a selfshipper :3 my main selfships right now are with patrick bateman, homelander, and tyler durden (tyler's my primary fav rn lolll)
i draw but nevr post it here whoops !! try my sideblog @partysoap <3
my blog tags are:
#party barks for general comments on stuff
#party reads for my fav fics !
#party writes for my own fics/other writings !
#4party for fics i've requested from other authors or any kind of comms by other folks ^_^
#party favors for everything else !
ABT MY WRITING !##
-i like to write fanfics for those who feel underrepresented, such as writing t4t fics, fics with trans readers, same-sex fics, etc :3
yay !!! will be updated soon :3
ONE MORE THING !!!!
feel very free to ask me ANY questions you may have about characters !!! literally ask for ANYTHING i will not be judging … and if i do judge it’ll be deleted frm my requests and that’s all LMAO so don’t worry about being shamed or anything
You've been friends with Tyler Durden for years, and find yourself crushing on him. He's always out and about doing things, but you miss having him around. After a few months of not talking with him, you finally confront him about his absence. It, of course, works out in your favor.
Halfway through your little movie date, Tyler shows you he's got other plans.
Chapter 2: Bait & Switch
He got dressed rather quickly. In all the time you’d known him, he’d always taken at least 10 minutes to throw something together. He always looked good, even in his ratty bathrobe, but he thought he’d put in extra effort for you this time. He put on some purple flared pinstriped jeans, and his red leather jacket. He wore a stained white tank top that he’d turned inside out so it looked a little nicer. He laced up his boots about halfway and hurried down the stairs to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and led you outside the house into the dark street.
The two of you walked to a 24/7 diner before heading back to your place. You both drank some coffee and chatted loudly, laughing and slamming the table as you did. You had missed this more than you thought you did. You loved disturbing everyone around you by being overly loud about things you definitely shouldn’t be discussing in public. You loved the looks you got from other people, knowing they wouldn’t do anything about your crudeness. You paid the waitress and tipped her well for not kicking you out, and got back on the road towards your place. He walked on the outside of the sidewalk like a gentleman and kept his hand on the small of your back. He did this before tonight of course, but now it was different. It was all different now.
“What are the plans for your place honey? Is there gonna be another movie involved?”
“There might be..” Because of course that was your plan. You loved watching movies with him because he always had crazy theories about them. He liked to guess how they end, and he was usually pretty damn close. He was easily the smartest crazy person you knew. You thought you might let him pick the movie tonight.
When you got to your place, he took your keys off your belt loop and ran up ahead of you so he could hold the door for you. You were thoroughly flattered, smiling and thanking him with a sweet voice. He walked in behind you like he owned the place, already stripping off his jacket. He danced around you and kneeled by the TV stand as you sat on the couch. He flipped through a couple and ended up picking out Interview with the Vampire. You smiled, because it was your favorite. You smiled because he knew.
He already knew how to set up your TV so it’d play the DVD, so he did it for you as you watched from the couch. He took the remote off the TV stand in front of him and stood up, pressing play before setting the remote back down on the coffee table behind him. He walked around the table and sat on the couch to the right side of you, crossing his left leg over his right while he threw his arm around the back of the couch.
“Want something to drink?” You asked, leaning back a little so the base of your neck rested against his forearm.
“Yeah angel, got any soda?”
“Is mountain dew fine?” You asked him. He nodded and turned his head back towards the TV as you got up. You got two sodas from the fridge and two glasses from the cupboard. You grabbed an ice tray from the freezer and popped some cubes into each glass, putting a little more in his since you knew he liked it that way. You poured the soda into the glasses and left the cans on the counter. Walking back to the living room, you lock eyes with him. He’d been staring at the hall waiting for you to return, paying zero attention to the movie he chose. You handed him his glass, then took a sip from your own before setting it on the coffee table.
The two of you were pretty quiet for the first half of the movie other than your random spewing of fun facts. You’d seen this movie at least 15 times by now, so you’d learned lots about it. By the second half of the movie though, Tyler was pulling you ever so slightly close to him. You knew what he was trying to do without saying anything, so you told him to scoot over a little more. You laid down with your head in his lap, resting your left hand on his knee. He gingerly began to pet your head, playing with your hair and gently massaging your scalp. You could’ve fallen asleep right there, honestly.
And then, as if right on cue, you felt him getting hard against your cheek. You bolted up and stared at him hard, only half amused. The other part was angry at his audacity. All he could do was look away with a shit eating grin on his face. He opened his mouth as if to say something as his gaze shifted to your open bedroom door, his tongue fidgeting with the gap where his tooth was chipped. He closed his teeth before anything though. He looked back at you and saw the annoyance on your face.
“Come on, what now. You mad at me?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“No, Ty, it’s just that you never seemed this into me. I don’t know if i’m just a fuck buddy or what. And I’m not sure where your dick’s been, either.” You said, flicking the ever-hardening bulge protruding from his pants. He groaned, gripping the back of the couch.
“God, don’t do that- You ain’t just a fuck buddy babe, you should know that. I wouldn’t have kept you around like this. Hell, we wouldn’t even be here if that was the case. We’d be at my house or an alley or something. Plus, I wear condoms if I don’t know the person. You wouldn’t catch me doing it raw with someone I didn’t know. I’ll wear a condom if you want?” He tried to seem enticing, like he was making a deal. You thought about it, and decided to make him one back.
“Fine, sure. I’ll fuck you. Under one condition.”
“You won’t be the one fucking me, I can tell you that much. And sure, whatever you want.”
“I don’t want you with other people. I don’t want you fucking other people for the adrenaline rush. If you want something, you come to me. I want you to come to me. I want to be exclusive.” Your stomach churned as you waited for him to say something. God, this was not how you wanted it to go.
“Sure babe. I think you’ll be more than enough to satisfy me. Wanna go put it to the test?” He said, as if it were nothing.
“So.. you mean.. You”ll date me?” You had to ask just to be sure.
“Don’ think I haven’t seen you eyeing me. Our whole friendship you’ve always told me how smart I am, or how profound I am, or how strong I am. You think it didn’t turn me on? Even just a little? Nobody else talks to me that nice. I want you, babe. I’ll be your boyfriend. I’ll be the best damn boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
You were taken aback. He hardly ever got serious like this. He cocked an eyebrow again, waiting for you to reply.
“Promise me.” You said. And with that, he took your hand into his own and planted a kiss against the back of it.
“I promise.” He said tenderly, standing up and offering you a hand. You took it, and he helped you to your feet. He led you to your own room, already unbuckling his jeans with his free hand as he walked away from the still-playing movie. He tossed his belt into the nearest corner and grabbed at the hem of his shirt. You did the same, swiftly helping him take it off. His tanned body was fucking perfect. You’d seen it before, sure, but never this close. Never in this context. He tossed his shirt into the same corners you sat down on the edge of your bed.
He turned back towards you after throwing his shirt, and you pulled him onto you by his belt loops. His weight on top of you made all the blood in your head go south. He groaned again as he held onto your waist, his nails digging into your skin. It made you moan, and as soon as you’d opened your mouth his tongue slipped in. He licked your teeth, which you found oddly really hot. You tugged on his hair, feeling his warm & sweaty scalp. Again, it was Tyler, so it was attractive albeit a little gross. He pulled away and quickly flipped you on top of him. Thoroughly enjoying the manhandling, your face turned a pretty shade of red. You tried to hide your face in your hands, but Tyler grabbed each of your wrists and held them tight at your sides.
“Don’t hide from me now, angel. Come on, I wanna see your face.”
You've been friends with Tyler Durden for years, and find yourself crushing on him. He's always out and about doing things, but you miss having him around. After a few months of not talking with him, you finally confront him about his absence. It, of course, works out in your favor.
Chapter 1: My Dulcinea
You and Tyler had been friends for years. On and off, you’d chat about life and what was going on with yourselves recently, but conversations were few and far in between. You’d hang at his house for a week or two at a time, then it was radio silence for months. It was nobody’s fault of course, it’s just how Tyler was. Always moving, never taking a moment to slow down. He preached about freedom, but he never really felt “free” to you.
You’d been missing him for a couple months—probably about half a year by now. You kept seeing all these little reminders of him, from music he liked to the movies you’d watch together, to the taste of copper when you’d have a bloody nose. So odd, you thought, to associate him with things like that. You just couldn’t help it. He was a sweet notion stuck in your head like honey.
Honey. He’d called you that before. He called you that with his arm wrapped around your shoulder the last time you had to walk him home from Lou’s.
Your mind just kept racing, remembering every little sweet gesture he’d done for you, every time he let you borrow his coat or his bed. He didn’t just do that for anyone, surely.
You had to see him.
You sprang up and put on some pants and a tight-fitting shirt, something to make yourself feel more confident. You were about to tell Tyler Durden you’d loved him for years and you wish he wouldn’t disappear on you and you want to be his forever because he feels like the only constant in your life even when he’s gone. Or something like that. “Lash out on him,” you thought briefly. It wouldn’t do you any good but the catharsis of it all might feel good. You didn’t really want to yell at him, you just wanted to feel heard. But sometimes with Tyler, you had to get loud about things before he took you seriously.
You took a deep breath before setting out towards Paper St., hoping and praying he hadn’t found another place to live. The most horrific possible scenario would be him having moved without a trace. You tried to shake the feeling off and keep on towards where you’d hoped to find him. You arrived at his place and hopped up the stairs to his doorstep. You wondered if it’d be worth it to knock. You didn’t. Walking inside, you peeked around corners for him. No luck. If he was even home, he was probably upstairs then.
“Tyler,” you yelled up the stairs, “It’s me.” You hoped he could recognize your voice.
Silence.
“Tyler?”
The room above you creaked as Tyler shuffled around. You sighed, relieved as all hell. You leaned back against the kitchen table and waited impatiently for him to head down the stairs.
“Comin’ angel.” He said before stomping down the stairs. The name made your heart melt and your brain a little less frustrated with him. He walked towards you, arms open wide for a hug.
“Haven’t seen you around. Where ya’ been?” He asked as he pulled you in.
“I could ask you the same thing. Where have /you/ been?”
“Aw, you know.. around…” He said as he let you go, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Been pretty busy, I guess. With the whole fighting thing and all..” For the first time in your miserable little life, you saw Tyler get uncomfortable. Something about him told you that he knew you were upset.
“I just wish you’d hang out with me more. We’ve been friends for what, 5 years now? And I only get to see you like twice a year, maybe three times if i’m real lucky.” You crossed your arms over your chest and furrowed your brows at him as you watched his face change.
“I don’t do that shit on purpose, you know that. I can’t stand still, I gotta keep going, you know? Like how a shark will die if it stops moving. I gotta keep myself busy.” He muttered, sort of looking down now. “I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to make you feel abandoned like that.”
That /name/. Honey. Fuck.
“It’s not abandonment I feel Tyler, it’s just- You’re the one constant in my life between my shit job and my shit parents and my shit friends who wouldn’t care if they never saw me again. I’d be lying if I said you’re the only person I feel gives a single fuck about me.” You stared at him with tears welling in your eyes, but they didn’t break.
His mouth fell slightly open, and now you both had matching furrowed brows.
“I’m real sorry. I never meant to make you feel like I wasn’t there. I guess I’m just not a “slow down” kind of guy. I feel like a damn hummingbird or something.”
You broke eye contact and looked off to your side, sighing deep.
“It’s okay. I just want to feel like you want me around.”
“Want you around? Shit, I’d let you live here if I didn’t think you deserved better. I want you around all the time. I want /you/ all the time. You’re like, the coolest person I’ve ever known, yeah? You don’t even have to try, you’re exponentially more fun to hang out with anyone else I know.”
Now it was your turn to stare with your mouth agape. You wanted to ask what he meant. You couldn’t. You start crying.
“Shit baby, come here.” He said as he took you into his arms again, his head resting atop yours. He stared at the wall as he held you, suddenly truly realizing how he neglected you. He didn’t mean to, sure, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He knew this. He gently rubbed your back and let you cry into him.
“Sit down.” He said quietly, trying to sound assuring. You sit down on the table behind you, but keep ahold of him. He pulls away from you and gets down to your level, holding his hand under your chin to maintain eye contact with you. He knew you hated it, but he wanted you to know he was serious now.
“How about tonight we go do something, yeah? Anything you’d like. It can be like a date or something like that..” He said, looking off to the left behind you now. He didn’t smile, but his face got a little hot. The two of you had a way of dancing around things when you were trying to be serious. You tilted your head at him, smiling now.
“A date? Like, a casual going out date or-?”
“A date. Like a date-date. Like, I want to go out with you. Bad”
“Out with me?” You weren’t sure if he was kidding to make you feel better or not. “Tyler, you’ve been radio silent for the past couple months, now you want to go out with me?” You almost didn’t believe it.
“And I’m sorry about all that. I want a fresh start with you. Let me prove I’m worthy?” You rolled your eyes a little as a smirk played on your lips.
“Fine, okay Tyler, but you need to make a couple changes if you want to work with me.”
His face lit up and he stared into you deep, making you smile fully now. “Anything you need.” He looked away and thought about what to say next. “…I didn’t realize you felt that I was the only stable thing you had. I wanna fix this for you, yeah?” God, was he charming. You couldn’t say no. You wouldn’t anyway.
“I want you to keep around. Come live with me or let me stay here or something. Tell me your schedule, involve me in even your most mediocre shit. I want to be around you, Tyler. I want you.”
“Really?” He smirked, tilting his head, “I knew it.”
You half-regretted everything you’d just said to him. Of course he’d say that.
“Think you can work with that?”
He nodded eagerly, pulling you into another hug. He wasn’t a very physically affectionate guy, you’d noticed. This was nice. You looked up at him and you were sure you saw his eyes twinkle back at you.
“Can I-?” He asked.
“You don’t need to ask..” You whispered.
He kissed your forehead first and smiled. He then kissed your lips, quickly but tenderly. He pulled back with a big stupid smile plastered across his face. His face got even warmer and he looked away from you, waiting for you to say something.
“Go get dressed,” You pointed at the stairs, “We’re going to mine.”
Just some headcanons for Tyler Durden x Reader who plays roller derby !! Reader's gender is ambiguous :) I play so I thought it'd be silly to come up with some silly interactions :) <3 Very self indulgent like most of my writings teehee i hope u enjoy !!!
𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 Tyler Durden x Roller Derby-playing Reader !!
.✦ ݁˖- You two come home at night and compare bruises (which you both wear as badges of honor
.✦ ݁˖- He'd be the loudest at your bouts, seriously. He's got a sign, you/your teams merch on, anything to make you feel supported
.✦ ݁˖- He definitely likes the idea of a partner who can beat the shit out of him LOL it makes him less scared to roughhouse with you
.✦ ݁˖- Working out together? Idk if he actually works out other than fighting (if that even counts) but I'm sure he'd love to watch you practice ;)
.✦ ݁˖- He knows you can take it, but he still gets worried when you wipe out while playing/practicing
.✦ ݁˖- You tend to eachother's wounds & despite his typically being worse, he always tries helping you first.
.✦ ݁˖- *THE* best hype man pre-bout. You listen to music, scream, dance, etc so you're ready to kick ass !!
.✦ ݁˖- He def plants little kisses wherever you get bruises & rink rash
.✦ ݁˖- If you're doing something at home and don't hear him when he calls your name, he calls you by your derby name to get your attention quicker (he thinks it's so comedic)
.✦ ݁˖- If he can ride the bike around the house, you can for sure skate around the house too. Maybe he'll stand around like an obstacle.
.✦ ݁˖- ALWAYS willing to help you train. Big fan of helping you get to 25/5 because he knows how difficult it can be (he's seen you try it, after all)
.✦ ݁˖- Overall, he's your biggest fan and adores watching you grow and get stronger every day <3 He thinks you're the most badass person he's ever met
Hope u enjoyed 😛 u can find this fic here as well on AO3 !! Please feel free to add onto these in the comments id LOVE to hear other thoughts on this concept
under the cut for the sake of your dash because one thing that girl can do is ramble
(between dead! and disappear) Please, water for the boy! How are you! It’s been a very long time, it’s nice to see you! Good news, America! We’re The Black Parade! Brought to you by our most kindest, gentlest, Grand Immortal Dictator… if you would all be so kind as to make some noise! He who shall not die… and has never looked better… and we are being supported by The Draag National Auxillary Band, thank you so very much! Are you ready to have fun? Seattle! Let’s go!
(election) Hello Seattle! It’s a beeauuutiful daaaaay to be hereeee… with yoooou… right now, we’re gonna try an experiment, maybe. Maybe an experiment, maybe a practice of democracy. When you came in, you got a sign. Yes, you got a sign. One side says yea! The other side, says nay. What we are gonna do here is have an election. If you would pay attention to the big red round circle in the centre, you’ll see our four candidates for election. You will get a chance to vote them in or out of office. Seattle, are you ready?! Now, who rejects these individuals and does not want to elect them, say nay! Up, all around! Let me see the black if you disagree! Now I need to hear you. I don’t know. We have a lot more to try. There’s only one more colour. And that’s yea! Who would love to elect these individuals, let me hear you! All together, yeas and nays up at the same time, yea and boo, let me hear you! That’s a lot of fucking yea! Let’s go! Roll! Ready! Set! FIRE! Thank you! Thank you so very much for participating in democracy!
(news anchor after teenagers) Our time has come. (something) A simple act as many. A single word repeats across the stars, and then our hearts create us. And comes the time when all must ask, what cost to hide? What loss so great to scrawl our names in sand, or chisel them in concrete? Goodnight, my friends. Goodnight to all.
(after disenchanted in response to crowd lights) Paris… is beautiful at night. Paris is beautiful.
(starting b stage before im not okay) Please make some noise for Clarice Jensen. A dear friend of mine showed me her music a long time ago, we’re very lucky to have her. So one more time, please make some noise for her. And please, please make some noise for the Violent Femmes. It’s a dream just to have such a legendary band you grew up listening to, just sweet—sweet people, and just wonderful, music, that we’d listen to all our lives. So thank you. We’re My Chemical Romance. We’re gonna play you some songs, if that’s okay. Is it not okay?
(after im not okay) Thank you very much! We’re gonna—we’re? I’m gonna get this glove off. It’s so tight. Urgh! It’s the first time we’ve attempted anything like this. You know, like, all that stuff. Who was at the very first Black Parade show? (something) The stuff. When we had the stuff, and the uniforms… who was there? retty wild. Thank you for coming back. (laughs) Frank said ‘no fuckin’ way’. No fuckin’ way these people are alive anymore if we’re this old. Um, so many people to thank, and we’ll get through them all over the course of this tour, this is the first night of the tour, thank you for being here. We’re gonna shout out to Kayleigh Goldsworthy and Tucker Rule who were helping us with Clarice Jensen over in the Auxillary Band in The Country Of Draag. And all of our crew, thank you so very much. Everybody worked so very hard to make this happen, and there’s so many more people, whatever. We’re gonna play you a song off our first record, if that’s okay. It’s kinda stabby!
(after lady of sorrows) Those lyrics over there, they’re not for our benefit, right? Cause we got our own over here. Those are off the internet. Oh. Oh, I see what it is. I say something, it shows up there. Those weren’t singing lyrics. Yeah… yeah, yeah. That’s really fuckin’ cool. I got a really little mic stand now. All right. We got some shit to get through. This thing is off the um, the uh, second album. Pretty spooky! People used to put their light their—shit up, for this one. Their shit. Hey, I got a quick question, like, um, when you guys put your phones up, why is like it all blue now? Is that just, like, um, the new phones? Does my phone do that too? Everyone’s blue. It’s like, white, and blue. Anyway, fuck it, let’s go, this one’s called (spooky voice) The Ghost… of You.
(after ghost of you) We did, uh, a bunch of rehearsals, so we ran through this a bunch of times, a few times, um, in costume, and then uh, um, and also on here, and every time we got here it’d be like oh fuck, oh my god, how are we gonna do this? So old! That’s all the rest of that. I gotta drink some water, though. Um. Yeah. What was I gonna say? What was the thought I had? Oh, it’s really fun! That was the point. We’re having a great time. Um, uh, who’s coming out to some of the other ones? This part will be different, each time, and I’m sure some shit’s gonna change over there. We got a whole week to workshop that shit, you know what I mean? Gonna put somebody in a fucking rocket, who knows? WHO KNOWS! Alright, you ready to keep going? Let’s go! BRR! (nasally voice) Killjoys! Make some noise!
(after na na na) Thank you so much! So, a lot of people helped put this together, there’s an amazing crew and an amazing cast, a lot of people spent a very long time on this. (gags) Drank too much water, sorry. And, uh, in some cases, feel like a year and a half, two years, in the trenches together, was really just a lot of fucking fun. Um, there’s somebody I feel the need to defend right now because he slapped me so hard tonight that I’m afraid for his life, and his name is Charlie Saxton, and he plays The Clerk over in Draag. But I gotta be honest, you guys had probably wanted to see me get slapped like that for like, twenty years, so… I give the people what they want, you know? Are you like a country (?) Alright, we got more shit to play. There’s no plan around here, about what to say or anything, I’m just drinking water, and we’re all hanging out with you guys. Let’s do what you say, yes? Keep it coming! Mikey Way, let’s go.
(after give em hell kid) Beautiful! Ugh. Frank put this together, I think, the setlist, Frank puts a lot of them together. (german accent) I just feel like dancing this time, you know? Feel like making dancing. Would you like to dance with us like we’re in a dark club? Make good time, yes? What you say? (gags) I got a little fucking hazer in my throat. Whatever. You know what I’m talking about. Everybody’s got hazer in their throat.
(after planetary go) It’s getting a little chilly, sorry. Give me a minute. Haha! Here. That was a safety hazard. So we’re gonna play you, uh, something we don’t get to play often, it’s a B-side off Black Parade. It’s called Heaven Help Us.
(after heaven help us) Ow! Haha. I was talking to (someone) about this. Fuck, this is fun. That song’s fucking good, man. You know, we—all the time, we’re like, man, why the fuck—(cut off by bury me in black starting) Aaagh! You knew how to get me through this, you just started! Oooh! (something), but we keep playing it!
(after bury me in black) That sounds good. It’s a new…day…Charlie Brown… it’s a new day, Charlie Brown. Lay your blockhead down. All new day… Charlie Brown. Two more. Song off the first record. First My Chemical Romance song ever recorded. It’s called Vampires Will Never Hurt You.
(after vampires) I’m gonna drink some water, then we’re gonna—we’re gonna play you one more song, okay, Seattle? And thank you so much. You’ve been—this has been really special. You’ve been very sweet, and patient, and awesome. So lovely.
LGBTQ+ color coded tags — part of my AO3 Tweaks collection
an Add-on that color-codes LGBTQ+ tags on AO3 using their corresponding pride flag colors — so you can see at a glance what identities are in a fic while you're browsing✨
covers up to 30 orientations and the code is really detailed so hopefully any related tag variation will get picked up!
How to install?
Log into AO3 and go to Dashboard → Skins → My Site Skins → Create Site Skin (or click on the link it will take you straight to it)
Give it a name, then paste the code into the CSS field
Click Submit and then Use to activate it!
Code found here :
lgbt-tags-light.css — for light themes
lgbt-tags-dark.css — for dark themes
✦ AO3 skin: Rosé Pine — Closer to Home
✦ For more Add-ons: AO3 Tweaks
Default AO3 theme preview ↓
P.S: if you are already using an AO3 Skin and want to include this Add-on, you can either:
— combine the code into your skin CSS
— or use AO3's parent skin feature to layer skins on top of each other !which is more recommended for your codes not to break!
- based on a CSS by @blackbatcats
- inspired by Highlight AO3 Tags by @mistbornhero
or... your adrenaline junkie boyfriend trying to get it on with a concussion and two broken ribs.
warnings : canon typical violence, Tyler and The Narrator are different people here, suggestive-smut leaning<3
ᐟᐟ ⟢ a/n: @callme-holly I SWEAR THE FILTH IS ON THE WAY BUT FIRST HAVE A TAMER STARTER🙏
ᐟᐟ ⟢ a/n2.0: yes, i'm aware making Tyler and The Narrator two different people kinda ruins the whole point of the movie, but this is just fiction so let's enjoy it, if you disagree with me then please just scroll peacefully<3
♱ *ೃ.⋆
The first knock rattled the doorframe. The second nearly took it off the hinges.
You blinked up from the couch, blanket around your legs, a bowl of cereal in your lap, and a rerun of some late-night infomercial buzzing on the TV. You already know what it is before you even got up. Tyler.
You don't need a phone call.
You know it's him before even opening the door.
It’s not the knock itself—it's the weight behind it. A rhythm that says, You're not gonna like this, but it’s happening anyway. The door rattles again. Then groans open before you even finish standing up from the couch.
"Sweetheart, we brought you a very stupid, very bloody present," He says wearily. Cornelious? Sebastian? Jack? You can't even remember his name.
And then Tyler stumbles into your living room like a half-murdered golden retriever who ran full-speed into a truck and loved it.
“Heyyyyy, baby,” he slurs, grinning, eyes wide and wild. “Brought souvenirs. You shoulda seen the other guys—fuck! I think I swallowed my molar!"
He falls against your coffee table. Grabs your lamp for balance. Misses.
You stare, frozen. He’s drenched in blood. Sickeningly copious amounts of thick crimson blood dribbling down from his jaw to his somatch. Dark smears on his shir that you are not even going to try to wipe off. Split lip, swelling eye, the bridge of his nose mashed crooked. His knuckles are raw and split and there’s definitely something wrong with the angle of his shoulder.
“Tyler Durden” you breathe, horrified as he coughs thick red across your hardwood. “What the hell happened?! What the hell happened to you?”
The guy whose name you can never seem to remember, but is always side-to-side with Tyler, and a few other ones that you definetely haven't seen before stare from the doorway. There's a bleached blond smiling like that punk vampire that Brooke McCarther played in that 80's movie about vampires in Santa Carla, another one that seems he got his nose smashed and broken more than thrice and the only one that seems mildly concerned is Tyler's second-in-comand.
“Men,” Tyler said, blinking up at you like he was discovering the meaning of life in your face. “They didn’t like me squatting in their dungeon. But you like when I squat, huh?”
Then he laughs.
Loud. High. Giggles like a kid.
The guy steps forward, sheepish and grim. “He let two guys beat the shit out of him to prove a point.”
“To inspire the crowd,” Tyler corrects with a bloody grin, still slumping against your white wall while slowly sliding down, leaving a crimson print behind like it’s a crime scene. “Did it work? They looked inspired. Inspired to piss their pants.”
“I think you have a concussion,” you say flatly.
“I think you have beautiful tits.”
You blink.
He’s giggling again. You walk over to him. He's soaked in sweat and blood—mostly his. His lips are split open, pupils already swallowing the entirety of his irises. His shirt is going to be thrown straight to the trash, it has no salvation. To add up to it there's a gash above his eyebrow that looks like it should have stitches, and his knuckles are raw hamburger. You grab his face with both hands.
“Tyler. Focus.”
His pupils are blown. Dilated like saucers. He stares at your mouth. Your nose. Your forehead. Then leans forward like he’s about to lick your cheek.
You shove him back gently and toward the couch. He sprawls backward onto it with a dramatic ooof, grinning like he’s just landed on a cloud made of your thighs.
“Oh, yeah, that’s the stuff,” he mumbles, eyes fluttering shut.
“Christ,” you mutter, rounding back to the guy and the handful of Fight Club stragglers still loitering in your doorway. “Get out. Now. You’ve done your job. I’ll handle the rest.”
So now Tyler’s shirtless. You don’t even remember when that happened. Probably while you were rummaging through your cabinet for hydrogen peroxide and painkillers. He’s splayed across your couch like a Renaissance painting—sweaty, bloody, and somehow still sculpted, like a pagan god caught mid-orgy.
He lifts his head when you return.
“There she is,” he drawls. My very own Florence Fucking Nightingale.”
You kneel beside him, hands full of gauze and antiseptic. “You’re going to hate me for this.”
“I already love it.”
You douse a cotton pad and press it to his lip. He hisses, back arching.
“You bitch,” he groans, eyes rolling back. “Marry me.”
You roll your eyes. “Hold still.”
“Impossible,” he says, voice dropping to a murmur. “I see you and I can’t be still. You make me wanna fight again. You make me wanna rip my own ribs out and gift wrap them for you.”
You look up sharply.
He’s staring at you like you hung the moon. Like you could stab him with that bottle of antiseptic and he’d moan through it.
And then—because of course—he tries to kiss you.
His hand catches the side of your face. He leans in, bloodied mouth and all, pupils still huge, breath hot with copper and adrenaline.
“Tyler,” you say warningly. “You have a head injury.”
“I have a hard-on,” he whispers dramatically. “It’s very different, and much more urgent.”
“You’re bleeding on my couch.”
“I’m bleeding for you.”
“Stop talking.”
“Only if you kiss me.”
You pause.
He’s grinning. Drunk on pain and lust and himself. He’s beautiful in the ugliest way. Bruised. Filthy. Wild-eyed and cracked open. And still somehow cocky.
You sigh, leaning close. He chases your mouth like it’s water in a desert.
“Open your mouth,” you whisper.
He obeys, eagerly—
And you shove two ibuprofen onto his tongue.
He gags. You cover his mouth and force a water bottle into his hand.
“Swallow,” you command.
He drinks like a man starved. Water splashing down his chin. He stares up at you, betrayed and turned on all at once.
“You’re evil,” he mutters, half-coughing. “That’s why I love you.”
You finally smile, brushing sweaty hair back from his forehead.
“Yeah,” you murmur. “I know.”
An hour later, you’ve gotten the worst of the blood off him.
He’s sprawled on your bed now, still shirtless, still bruised, skin bandaged in three different places. He’s calmer—but not by much. Just enough for the concussion to settle in and make him weirdly affectionate.
“You’re so pretty,” he mumbles. “Too pretty to live. I should lock you in the closet.”
You raise a brow. “You’re delirious.”
“I’m horny.”
“You’re half-dead.”
“You make me feel alive.”
“Tyler.”
“You smell like a warm place,” he murmurs. “I wanna fuck you.”
You choke on your own laugh, shaking your head as you run a washcloth over the last dried smear of blood on his collarbone.
“I should be pissed at you,” you murmur. “You scared me half to death. You show up with a face full of blood and you’re still cracking sex jokes like a drunk frat boy.”
“I’m a visionary,” he says proudly.
“You’re an idiot.”
“You’re in love with me.”
You pause.
He looks up at you—half-lidded, cocky, beautiful and broken.
So you sigh and wipe his mouth again, watching the red streak across your towel. He winces as he leaned forward, then—without asking—buries his face in your neck.
And you don’t deny it.
“Ugh,” you groaned, feeling the blood and sweat rub off on your skin. “Tyler—”
“Yeah, baby?”
“You almost died,” you said, matter-of-factly, not quite mad but not exactly happy about it either. Hehummed, lips parted, eyes dreamy as he stared up at you from the crook of your shoulder.
“Uh-huh?”
His smile spreads slow and lazy, you're an expert in the language of Tyler's different smiles and you know what exactly what that one means.
“You’re concussed and horny? Seriously?”
“Oh baby,” he whispered, “it’s the best combination. I can’t feel my teeth and I wanna rail you into next Tuesday. That’s balance.”
“You’re leaking from the head.”
He grinned. “The lower one.”
You snorted despite yourself. You wrapped a bandage around his ribs, ignoring his little gasps and definteley exagerated moans every time your hands brushed his skin.
“Are you—making those noises on purpose?” you asked.
“Oh yeah,” he said, nodding solemnly. “It’s part of my seduction technique.”
You kissed the corner of his jaw. It was warm and slick with sweat. “Well, it's not working.”
“It will, just you wait” he hummed, a small giggle bubbling up past his lips, grabbing your waist with one hand. “Can I sleep here tonight?”
“You live here, jackass.”
“Oh yeah,” he said, blinking slowly. “That’s so hot of me.”
You sighed, pulling him up again. He stumbled, but you caught him.
And for once, just once, he didn’t push it. He didn’t twist out of your arms or try to crack another joke. He just leaned on you, warm and heavy, face buried in your shoulder as you walked him from the couch to your bedroom.
You tucked him into your bed, and when his hand snaked up your thigh even as one eye swelled shut, you didn’t stop him. You just kissed his temple, pressed your forehead to his, and whispered, “Sleep, Tyler.”
“Can’t. Too horny.”
“You can molest me when you’re not concussed.”
“Ugh, fine,” he groaned dramatically, finally letting his head hit the pillow instead of straining his neck to look up at you. You actually saw the switch go off behind his eyes, eyelids twitching slightly, when he finally rested his head against the soft white cotton he was for sure going to stain with a nocturnal nosebleed throughout the night.
You just closed your eyes, tangling your hand in your dumb, beautiful, half-dead boyfriend's blond hair.
overview: despite your complaints, tylers always too soft in you. if he's not going to take initiative, then it seems like you'll have to.
tws: tyler durden himself, not beta read and written at 4 in the morning, please forgive me if it's garbage anon🙏🥹
the day starts off bland, all things considered. a casual day late into the spring,, some light rain that had already eased up in favor of sunshine and a nice breeze. on a day like this, after a rough night prior, tyler was content in lousing lazily on the couch, a cigarette between his fingers and his eyes fixed onto the cheap tv that sat on top of a barely standing table.
you sat on the other side of the couch, legs crossed at the ankles over his lap. you weren't focusing much on the tv, instead droning off into your own thoughts. lately, you had noticed that tyler seemed to.. baby you, for lack of a better word. compared to how he treated his groupies, friends, whatever they were,, he treated you like glass.
it was sweet, but you could take a little roughhousing too. you didn't want to be treated like a baby. you were a grown pup for crying out loud! it starts out small, unnoticeable at first. lightly poking him with your toe, to which he just gives your leg a light pat without looking away from the tv. it only peeves you more, so you give his thigh a rougher nudge with your foot.
finally, he looks over at you, cocking a brow. "what?" you only shrug. when he looks away, you're back at it again, kicking him harder this time. he grabs you by the ankle, jaw twitching as he looks back at you. your expression finally breaks into a smile. his own expression softens upon seeing it. "you play too soft." you say suddenly.
he blinks at you a moment, chin tilting up slightly as he registers the words. "whaddiya mean?" he cracks a slight grin. the grin falters when you somehow manage to launch yourself ontop of him, eyes wide with a toothy grin. you take the cigarette from between the fingers of his far-hand, stubbing it out in the ashtray on the old coffee table. he watches you with a quizzical smile until you take hold of his shoulders, using all your might to send the couch the two of you are on backwards with the both of you rolling away across the floor.
as the two of you come to a halt, his hand is already tucked under your head to keep it from hitting the floor too hard. it was sweet, once you noticed it. but you're quick to refocus yourself, rolling over to straddle him. "you're too easy with me." you complain again. tyler's brows raise slightly, smile remaining easily in place. "what're you on about, huh?" he questions, giving you a light poke in the ribs, to which you squirm slightly.
you grimace, giving his hand a light swat. "I mean, I wanna actually wrestle!" you puff. "without you babying me so much." you declare. tyler snorts at that. "wrestle you?" he began, bringing a hand up to your cheek, thumb swiping underneath your eyes. "aren't you a little too soft for that? your pretty skin'll bruise all nasty." he teased, giving your cheek a light pinch to which your expression contorts yet again. "I'm serious!" you growl, despite how unintimdating you appear. just how could he refuse when you make such cute faces?
in reality, as pretty as he thinks you'd look covered in bruises, especially from him, he can't help being concerned. he tends to get too into fighting sometimes, living proof wandering around the streets right now, on about their normal lives despite their broken bones or busted lips. he didn't want to get in too deep and actually hurt you like that. but you didn't seem like you were backing down anytime soon. he exhaled a loud sigh, the corners of his lips twitching up briefly.
"alright, alright fine. so long as it's just play." he relents with a grin, watching how your eyes shine with excitement. you don't wait much longer than that. no sooner than the words leave his lips, the two of you are rolling all about, elbows pushed into sides with a gentle undertone, palms shoved in faces to make the others head hit the ground. a battle for dominance, a sublte whisper feeds your thoughts, triggering an instinct once dormant.
your eyes flash, and he notices how your movements grow rougher, your hits getting sharper. he's immediately concerned, and goes to say as much, but the moment of weakness becomes your advantage. in the blink of an eye, you've got your legs wrangling his, halfway leaned onto one of his arms with one hand holding down his free wrist, and the other holding his head against the ground. it's an awkward, honestly uncomfortable position, but you maintain it. chest heaving, eyes wide to match his own.
rationality catches back up to you as your grip softens up, hands moving to rest on either side of his head. he grins slightly, and you can already hear his teasing words before he speaks them into existence. "must've been waiting to do that for awhile, huh?" your nose scrunched slightly before relaxing, an awkward smile twisting your lips. "sorry.. I didn't hurt you too bad, did I??" you're quick to start looking him over, pupils shrinking just slightly.
he shook his head with a snort. "I should be asking you that. I'm just fine, baby. promise." he reassures you, the muscles in your shoulders relaxing. after that it's quiet for a few long moments, just the two of you staring at eachother. finally, he brings his hands up to your cheeks, cupping them. you blink once, twice as you watch him close. he tilts your head down slightly, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.
you smile to yourself a second, that expression immediately replaced with surprise as you jolt back. "you bit me!" you yelp, eyes wide. he snickered. "what, like it's the first time?" he teased, hands moving to rest on your waist. "my forehead, you bit my forehead!" you're absolutely baffled. your reaction only causes him to laugh more, your cheeks flustering as a low growl leaves you.
"weirdo." your grumble in complaint. his laughter eases up into a light grin, shifting slightly underneath. "alright, cmon, down boy!" he jokingly commands. "I'm squished under here." he complains, despite easily lifting you up off of him as he sits up. "yeah, yeah." your reply, equally sassy as you pull yourself up off the ground, him standing beside you a moment later. you intertwine your fingers with his and he pulls you close, ruffling your hair because he knows it gets on your nerves only to give you a small peck on the side of your face afterwards.
again, sorry if this is super bad!! I wasn't sure if you wanted like hybrid!reader or just like, puppycoded!reader, and I also didnt know which version of tyler you meant so I went most popular.. realizing now I could've asked before writing but what's done is done.. 🥹
tyler durden personally told me he is a huge fan of transitioning. what is more destructive than eradicating something and completely reinventing yourself. metal as fuck
