bro i don't even know at this point @talks-refined - Tumblr Blog

on a happier note, ash is supposed to be the least morning person ever, but in episode 11 he wakes up before eiji and all peaceful and shit so i think the conclusion to draw here is that ash sleeps best with eiji

#idk i was cleaning my notes and i found this #banana fish #ash lynx #asheiji #eiji okumura

sugajimin

MTV Unplugged X BTS

i find the way the manga puts mafuyu and yuki and akihiko and ugetsu’s relationships in parallel really interesting, because mafuyu had a hard time moving on because he lost yuki so suddenly he couldn’t get closure and akihiko and ugetsu desperately need to move on because they’re so toxic and wrong for each other but it’s hard to get closure when they both still want each other and got used to the hurt they put each other through

#i find their relationship so awful but so facinating and lowkey really touching #akihiko kaji #ugetsu murata #akihiko x ugetsu

iceywrites

Sometimes, I forget that Shorter literally died in Eiji's arms.

Eiji may not have known Chinatown's boss since ages but he does know that he could blindly trust this guy. He knows that this guy means no harm. He was friend and that is a big thing considering the kind of people he is constantly surrounded with; trust is a big thing. He had memories with this guy. Shorter has stood with him and protected him always considering him as a friend. This guy had openly accepted Eiji.

When Shorter was injected with Banana fish and was brainwashed to believe that Eiji was his enemy - Eiji started tearing up when he saw Shorter screaming by just looking at him. They were friends. He would never want to hurt him like that.

Even when they were sparring, Eiji probably contemplated killing himself at least once to set Shorter free.

And when Shorter died in his arms, it was so sudden, that he almost didn't believe it happened. There was blood in his hands and he couldn't understand what was happening. He felt Shorter's dead eyes looking at him. He felt Shorter's heart beat slowly decreasing in rate. They won't even let him talk to his friend; to give him his last goodbye.

They shoved him in a dark room and he probably saw that scene in his head a thousand times, each time the scene became more vivid and he understood that he just lost his friend.

When Eiji told Ash that he'd go mad if he were to ever lose him too - he probably imagined that whole scenario a thousand times when he was alone in that room.

Even then, he still had the energy to smile if only to provide a semblance of normality for Ash so that he won't be bothered by Eiji's inability to save himself.

Eiji was already suffering from depression and New York provided him with an additional trauma. But he smiled to genuinely and beautifully that he made it all look so easy.

does anyone have sapphic anime recommendations? i’m getting into lgbt animes recently and i love it, but it’s always really male centric. and i love my boys but i want more angsty girls to cry over 💕

#please #i really liked madoka magica #anime recs #sapphic anime #wlw anime

i finished given yesterday and god it’s so beautiful ; the slow pacing was kind of bugging me at first but it really made everything hit so much harder. episode 9 is so beautiful

i love both mafuyuki and mafuyama so much... like i’m so glad mafuyama exists and their story is so beautiful and healing, but i also can’t help get hung up on mafuyuki, it’s so devastating

i wish we had seen more of yuki, it’s really fascinating to me how when we saw him from only mafuyu and hiragi’s perspective he seemed like the most composed and confident guy when clearly, there was more laying beneath the surface. and the kindness in his eyes when he looks at mafuyu 🥺 like wow there must’ve been so much intimacy and love between them and it feels like what we see is just scratching the surface - but hey, that’s probably how it’s meant to be

and mafuyama is so good, they bring the best in each other and care for each other so much, it’s so heartwarming to see. i’d love to see more of them together, the show stops when they get together but i’m sure there’s more to be told (and there’s a lot more in the manga too apparently, i’ll be sure to check it out) and considering they both have the communication skills of a potato it’d be really sweet to see them learn to be together. idk. it’s just sweet.

#given #ritsuka uenoyama #mafuyu sato #yuki yoshida #mafuyuki #mafuyama

[ tw : mentions of suicidal thoughts ]

on ash’s death, again:

it wasn’t the only way.

and by that i don’t mean that i curse the writers or think there was a better ending to write. the ending is devastatingly beautiful. but by that i mean it wasn’t fate.

there’s no way you can go on to convince me that healing wasn’t possible for him. that living in japan with eiji wasn’t possible. hell, the show even says he’s not the fucking leopard from snows of kilimanjaro, he could change his fate.

and there’s no way you could convince me it’s somehow happy that he died thinking he protected eiji. or that he couldn’t get redemption after what he had done. or that this was the only way for him to be happy. it’s not true. his happiness was the people he loved, max, eiji. an traumatized 18 years old’s death is not the way things are meant to be. it’s not happy. it’s not deserved.

then why does he bleed out in the library, when his wounds could have been treated you ask? because he believes it is.

because when he receives the letter and starts running he’s more hopeful than he has ever been in his life, it’s the first time he thinks he could be happy, it’s the first time he envisions a future outside of gangs and violence. he actually believes it, he’s ready to make an airport run to the love of his life and for a better future where he doesn’t have to fight and be hurt. and when that happens, lao stabs him.

and rationally, it’s a miscommunication situation. lao doesn’t know sing and ash settled on not fighting and he wants to protect his brother. but to ash? the first moment in his life where he was hopeful ended with a foolish mistake he never would have made if he hadn’t let his emotions get the best of him. to him, it feels like the confirmation of what he’s feared the entire show: that his enemies would always find him, that his love for eiji is weakness and that he attracts danger wherever he goes

but it’s not true. goldzine is dead. foxx is dead. lao would’ve stopped coming after him after learning about him and sing. yut lung doesn’t care anymore. max’s story would’ve cleared him as a victim. no one would follow him to japan.

but he’s tired. he’s a fatalist, and somewhat suicidal, probably. his entire life he was miserable and this time he did what he had to do, eiji’s safe, so why would he keep fighting, if he doesn’t believe in his future after lao stabs the hope out of him?

that’s, to me, why he lets himself die. because he lost all hope and feels as if he has nothing left to live for. and it kills me, because i love him so much, and he deserved so much better.

but it wasn’t the only way. and it’s sad because it wasn’t the only way. it’s sad because he could’ve lived, he deserved to live, he could’ve healed, he could’ve been happy. but he doesn’t believe he can anymore, and at this moment, purely by accident, he’s alone and no one can tell him his mind is playing tricks on him, and if it was written from the beginning then in my opinion, it’s not as sad. it’s sad because he lost something.

#banana fish #ash lynx #ash lynx’s death

i’m drunk in the bathroom right now but god asheiji matters to me. i wish i could tell them. they’re so healing. they’re so kind. i want everything good life can possibly offer for them. i love them so much.

#banana fish #asheiji #ash lynx #eiji okumura

my point is eiji okumura, pole vaulter, has RIPPED arms and fan artists should start drawing him with muscles 😔

#people with arm muscles give the best hugs are you surprised #ash deserves it #eiji okumura #banana fish

okay, okay, a cute one : shorter listens to queen, a lot, and dances to it around ash, trying to imitate freddie mercury and always trying to get ash to join him. he only rarely does, he sings a bit with him too sometimes, but it nearly always gets a laugh out of him. another one bites the dust is both their favorite

#i personally love their friendship but if you wanna see this as romantic go for it #ash lynx #banana fish #shorter wong #shortash #queen

ash has cold hands. eiji has warm hands and always cups both ash’s hands in his to warm them up

it’s my ship and i choose the cheap symbolism and dumb affectionate headcanon

#eiji okumura #ash lynx #banana fish #asheiji

ashandeiji

ASH IS LITTLE SPOON🗣🗣🗣

I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but the ending felt a little like they acted like each other. Ash, the jaded, disillusioned one started running to the airport to stop the love of his life from leaving and Eiji, hopeful, determined one got on the plane like he had refused to all show long, like he was giving up

#idk i’m thinking #ash lynx #banana fish #asheiji #eiji okumura #i can’t stop overthinking the ending help

thinking about how ash (by not going to see eiji) and eiji (“goodbye america, goodbye new york, but i won’t say goodbye to you ash”) both refused to say goodbye, and for ash it was out of fear and for eiji it was out of hope

#and they probably both regretted it #ash lynx #banana fish #asheiji #eiji okumura

everyone shut the fuck up i’m thinking about how eiji will never know ash was running before lao stabbed him. he’ll never know his words made a difference. he’ll never know ash was finally willing to let him in. he’ll never know ash was running to him like his life depended on it

#banana fish #ash lynx #asheiji #eiji okumura #asheiji angst #why is banana fish so goddamn sad

why is this show making me sad i finished it over a month ago

#banana fish #ash lynx

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bro i don't even know at this point