Horny Guardian Angel

[dcmultiverse]

Scared of me and my family because we’re so awesome?

SHAZAM! (2019) dir. David F. Sandberg

[mens-rights-activia]

[lauristical]

[fjksnfnksjxnfjjsjfjfjdjd-deacti]

You’re like our local hero, man. It would mean a lot.

+ bonus

[pocdisneys]

the original four princesses of color in ralph breaks the internet

[papertownsy]

actually tho

[thorinss]

[chasekip]

real life: golf slow and boring, no bird canons

pokemon world: golf exciting, bird canons

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking

what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp

like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have

like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious

now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 

and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 

and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker

and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 

so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?

this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 

[jumpingjacktrash]

i mean if you look at how npc’s talk about their pokemon, they’re service animals mostly. some of them are just pets. apparently they really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle other people’s pokemon for socialization, it’s like going to the dog park.

hell yes i’d be mad if i took my chronic pain support chow-chow to the dog park and some asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog enjoyed the tussle at first.

look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden. it’s not a special forces attack paras. it’s just a bug that eats dandelions. please calm down.

[maxknightley]

This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to the mountains

[happybecauseofgrace]

the moon knows.

[film-bones]

this movie was so fucking savage 

[christophernolan]

The cast of Black Panther at 2019 Academy Awards.

[likehercoffee-deactivated202008]

that lean 😳

[hustlerose]

you’re ugly you’re disgusting i’m gonna kill you give me $200 

[kibumkim]

my landlord every month

[catchymemes]

[welovegamingz]

[just-shower-thoughts]

The reason we have airport security is because you can’t fast travel when enemies are nearby.

[dailyblacklightning]

[proto-homo]

[fyeahegerton]

Taron Egerton being hit on by old, British legends (Requested by Anonymous)

[notlostonanadventure]

TARON IS SUCH DADDYBAIT

[ordobot]

He definitely has a type lol

[surprisebitch]

lana del rey would be proud