Minding My Business

They/She/He || Main Blog || Mfw:

[badlydrawnmanic]

[typewriter sounds]

[fairy-of-divorce]

Me listening to my friends vent about their relationship drama:

[dule0000]

Imagine if Mouthwashing is called Luncheating or smt

[dragonfruuit]

met this guy at work today

[commanderchr1st]

It's really nice to see Mr. Beast correct his direction after the allegations.

[stjohnstarling]

you finally confess your attraction to the hot priest and he's like "oh darling, I thought you'd never ask" and proceeds to bite your neck and turn you into another catholic priest

[personalmephistopheles]

#hm. that sounds wrong but i dont know enough about catholics to say for sure [via @kirtlandswarbler]

[ginormouscobe]

Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, how did you did that.

[problemnyatic]

kill me three times, this time loop fucking sucks

[uh-ohspaghettio]

Pornbots are so annoying like I’m not gonna fall for this I’m not an idiot I know sex isn’t real and its just something made up for destiel fanfiction

[dimensionsponge]

Me: *scrolling tumblr*

Castiel: I love you

Me: Dear god what’s happened now

[corantus]

💘💖💝

[corantus]

hey are you guys like. okay.

[spinalfluidexplosiongirl]

[catmask]

crazy thang is whenever someone makes a post talkng about how xyz thing annoys them someone will always go 'oh so we're not even allowed to do [thing] anymore??' like no you literally can. that person just will not like you. if that is enough to stop you then its not that youre not allowed its that you are not capable of existing outside of the approval of others

[catmask]

why are you asking for permission. begging? are you a dog or a man

[catmask]

there it is

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

if you didn’t want your scheming uncle to usurp the throne maybe you should have thought twice before being born into a system of government called If You Murder Your Brother And His Heirs You Win

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

yeah yeah I can see you’re upset, I get it, nobody likes being poisoned. but put yourself in my shoes. you think I do this for fun? you think I enjoy systematically murdering most of my male relatives? you’re family! I’m only human; it hurts me to hurt you, kid, I swear. but what’s a guy to do? I’m as much a victim of successionary drama as you, in a way. think of the societal pressures I’m under. my actions are explained by a materialist analysis of the social and economic conditions under which we live. now hurry up and die. I have things to do.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I see you’re taking your sweet time about it. that’s okay. I guess you have had a growth spurt since the last time I planned to poison you. I do wish you’d stop giving me that betrayed look… it’s not how I want to remember you. you were always my favorite nephew. what? I mean it! I’ve always liked you. of course I knew better than to let myself get too attached, but I always tried to do right by you. really, I hoped you’d turn out to be impotent or a bastard or otherwise disqualified from inheriting the crown. I’d be terribly fond of you if you didn’t represent an eternal threat to me. oh, don’t look at me like that. you know how it is. say I’d let you live—what then? it is the nature of a king to be suspicious. if I’d doted on you, loved you, sworn fealty forever more, I’d still be suspect. each time you came down with a cough you’d be looking to me for signs of treachery. it comes with the territory! eventually you’d come up with some bullshit excuse to have me banished or executed just so you could stop worrying about what I might be plotting, and that would be that. so you see how my hand is forced. you can’t be mad at me. I’m the poorest little meow meow and you can’t be mad at me.

[vigilantsycamore]

I love how so many crime/detective shows have the authorities be like "yeahh we're not nearly competent enough to catch this guy, let's just outsource this case to the most autistic person we know"

[0sbrain]

[seraphex]

you can ship aro characters but ONLY if you’re aro yourself. otherwise im gonna need you to pay me $50 to get your permit

[willgrahamscock]

of all the phrases we used to say in the 2010s era we need to bring back ‘what the hap is fuckening’ because honestly… what the hap is fuckening lately brother

[birdsareblooming]

literally a bunch of 14yos with weekend time and a shared server could make a better looking minecraft movie than that. and it would be so funny