A Bit of Chaos, as a Treat

Dani. Non-binary, she/they/any. I draw, I write, I make poop jokes. 

[savagedefectives]

thin places

[adventurelandia]

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

[lolminoot]

Never trust anyone that puts noses in their smiley faces.

[otherwindow]

[silkcrowns-deactivated20190419]

anderson cooper passive aggressively mentioning that time square looks nice but it’s too bad that there’s a million people in puerto rico who can’t see it because they haven’t had electricity for months is the political mood for 2018

[awwww-cute]

[blackandmildwithgod]

If you scroll pass this you don’t got ten dollars

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Need my $10

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Guys i literally just got tipped $10 at work

[axe-fx-deactivated20200722]

wow!

followers: *refer to me by my name*

me:

[itschinyere-deactivated20200201]

Note to my ex.

Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know that one day I will have a body that you will have never touched.

[mieshasmoore-deactivated2021091]

This just made me feel so warm.

[iamfrenchfrie]

thank you.

[bronze-for-birdy]

Important especially for victims of abuse, remember your body is yours and it heals in more ways than you realize.

[punkpoemprose]

Okay, so I just want to say that this isn’t necessarily true. Most of your cells have died and regrown several times in seven years, but some haven’t, and some have died and won’t return. The seven year cell renewal is a myth perpetuated by popsci in magazines everywhere.

That being said, anywhere they may have touched you, your skin, your hair, your nails and so on, was changing the moment they departed your life, even before that. Your skin became skin they’ve never touched within 27 days. Your hair grows (on average) six inches per year, so depending on how long yours is, you were rid of their touch there within a few years tops. Your nails will completely regrow within six months tops. You were a body they never touched within three or four years. You will be a body they never touched within three or four years.

You have been rewriting your body, you are your own, you are constantly changing, and you are the only one who owns your body 100% of the time.

[lamiacea-deactivated20210106]

I’m here for correcting science myths in supportive ways.

[whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating]

fuck man this just made me cry

[sapphiresea]

Welcome to Hell.

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

get julius caesar addicted to hentai

seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

[theirisianprincess]

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

[tachylyte]

[whale-shark-queen]

Gordon Ramsay: calls people ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’ as it tends to be used as a friendly term in the UK and he only ever uses it in the friendly way

Gremlins: hes a mysoginist he doesn’t respect women at all :///

Gordon Ramsay: Cooks steak for a woman who was practically starving herself with a weird diet that cut out meat as she’d started working at a zoo that caused her to develop a gluten and dairy intolerance (shed only eat a baked potato or gluten free pasta with pesto and little else) who said she actually does enjoy meat but only if it was 100% organically and lovingly raised, goes through where and how the animal he’d gotten the meat from was raised with her, agrees that mass producing meat is a disgusting industry, raised two pigs himself in his back garden with love and care and cried when he had to send them to the slaughter house, calls chefs out on serving vegetarians things with meat products, is disgusted with frivolous shit like shark fin soup and any other food that involves senselelessly injuring or killing endangered animals for only a tiny bit of their meat

Gremlins: he couldn’t give a shit about vegetarians he hates them :///////

Gordon Ramsay: only screams, yells and swears at lazy, filthy, cheeky chefs who claim to be professionals with years of experience who can’t seem to follow the basic rules of hygiene/food preparation, is very gentle and encouraging with people who are still learning including children, is always ALWAYS respectful to wait staff (in the amy’s baking company episode when he learned that the owners were taking the tips of their one waiter he gave her his directly in front of them and also called them out on it in front of the customers too) and always starts off civilly until people give him shit

Gremlins: hes so over the top and verbally abusive ://///////////////////////// even top chefs can learn from their mistakes hes just a bully ://////

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

gordon ramsay is a good boy who did nothing wrong

[i-am-a-fish]

If net neutrality disappears then that means only rich people will be able to access Tumblr so just to be safe we need to post memes that the rich people will like so we all have a chance at being Tumblr famous after we can’t afford the internet anymore

[lonelypaperbagtrash-deactivated]

U RITE

[i-am-a-fish]

Here, I’ll start us off:

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

[kushandwizdom]

[pftones3482]

Had a mom come into work tonight while I was closing out the cosmetics counter at work. She looked a little lost, so I asked if she needed help, and she pointed to all of our perfume gift packages (holiday special whatnot) and asked if I could help her pick some out for her two kids.

I say sure, ask the age range, and go from there, asking if there’s anything she wants in particular (shopping for two tweens, one 11 and the other 12).

She hesitates and goes “just…something pretty. and feminine”

And I’m like “lol wanna make them feel like princesses, I see!”

And she just lowers her voice, like she’s scared I’m going to say something rude, and goes, “My 11 year old just started transitioning, and I want her to feel pretty.”

Just about made up for the rest of my shitty night. Kudos to you, mom. You’re doing good.

[jim-kirk]

“Best not to look back. Best to believe there will be happily ever afters all the way around — and so there may be; who is to say there will not be such endings?”