PORTAL 2 SENTENCE STARTERS ( part 1 ). change pronouns as necessary.
hello? is anyone in there?
are you going to open the door, at any time?
you just jumped. what you’re doing there is jumping.
it’s not out of the question that you may have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
if you don’t help me, we’re both going to die. alright?
oh my god. you look terrib— um, good. looking good, actually.
and who’s fault do you think it’s gonna be when management comes down here and finds ten thousand flippin’ vegetables?
rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. to share.
this next test is very dangerous.
you have trapped yourself. congratulations.
please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.
i’m ... not dead! i’m not dead! HA!
okay, look. i wasn’t going to mention this to you, but i am in pretty hot water here.
i can’t move, though. that’s the problem now.
on the floor. needing your help. the whole time. all the time, needing your help.
what are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? fair enough. you’ve had a rough time.
umm. yeah, i can’t do it if you’re watching.
can’t do it if you’re leering at me. creepy.
oh! oh, don’t leave me behind!
ohh, that was amazing! do it again!
don’t make eye contact, whatever you do...
and she will probably, definitely kill us, if she’s awake.
so, if you’ve got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
okay, i’m gonna lay my cards on the table: i don’t wanna do it. i don’t wanna go in there.
what a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. like a proper maniac.
then there was this really long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened, and now there’s us escaping now. that’s it, you’re up to speed.
quick question: have you been working out?
because there’s no evidence of it.
AH! sorry, i just looked down. don’t recommend it.
what’s the worst that could happen? oh. oh wait, i just thought of something. oh, i just thought of something even worse.
just jump. jump into the abyss.
that’s, uh, god. i was quoting god.
okay! no, don’t worry, don’t worry! this should slow it down, don’t worry, i’ve got this. nope. no, that made it go faster. okay.
okay. okay. okay. listen. new plan: act natural. we’ve done nothing wrong.
oh ... it’s you. it’s been a long time. how have you been?
i’ve been really busy being dead. you know. after you murdered me.
we’ve both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret.
i think we can put our differences behind us. for science. you monster.
this will be our only chance to talk.
here, let me get that for you.
you know, if you’d done that to anyone else, they might have devoted their entire existence to exacting revenge.
this place really is a wreck.
but the important thing is you’re back. with me.
i’ve really let the place go since you killed me. thanks for that, by the way.
not bad. i forgot how good you are at this.
here come the test results: you are a horrible person. i’m serious, that’s what it says. a horrible person. we weren’t even testing for that.
if it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
i’ll give you credit, i guess you are listening to me.
try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
remember before when i was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? that was a metaphor. i was actually talking about you.
you broke it, didn’t you?
you look great, by the way. very healthy.
look at you. sailing through the air majestically. like an eagle. piloting a blimp.
when you die, i'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. that way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
—a bloody bird! i know, right? couldn’t believe it either. and then the bird—
okay, look, the point is— i’m going to break us out of here! soon, i promise!
let’s just say he won’t be ... well, living any more.
that jumpsuit you’re wearing looks stupid. that’s not me talking, it’s right here in your file.
well, you know the old formula: comedy equals tragedy plus time.
i thought about our dilemma, and i came up with a solution that i honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
you just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
what’s going on? who turned out the lights?
okay, to recap: we are escaping. that’s what happening now, we’re escaping. so just keep running, you’re doing great.
how stupid does she think we are?
we have to get you out of there!
she’s bringing the whole place down! hurry!
follow me, we’ve still got work to do.
okay. alright. so, i’ve got an idea, but it is bloody dangerous.
ooh. it’s dark down here, isn’t it?
okay, this looks dangerous. i’ll hold the light steady.
are you alive down there?
i, uh... don't have any bullets. are you gonna give me any bullets?
uhhhh... blam! blam blam blam! i'm not defective!
oh! i’ve just had one idea, which is that i could pretend to her that i’ve captured you, and give you over and she’ll kill you, but i could go on ... living. so, what’s your view on that?
oh, thank god! you saved my bacon, pal. where we going? is this a jailbreak?
okay, i’m about to start hacking. it’s a little more complicated than it looks from your side. it should take about ten minutes, so keep one eye on the door.
bring your daughter to work day. that did not end well.
the whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point.
don't worry, i'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100% that it's this way ... oh it's not this way.
hold on now, i might not have thought this next part completely through.
that’s funny. i don’t feel corrupt. in fact, i feel pretty good.
have i ever told you the qualities i love most in you? in order: number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. particularly disputes. number one, tied: button-pushing. two things I love about you: button pushing and the ability to resolve things. chiefly disputes. now push that button.
don’t do it. don’t you dare.
i just added that to the list. it's a list i made of all the things you've done. well, it's a list that i AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though i'm telling you to stop. stop, by the way.
get your hands off me! stop! no!
what, what if this hurts? what if this really hurts? oh, no, i didn’t think of that.
you didn’t do anything. she did all the work.