Your Retales

User-submitted stories of wild times at work Target Retales

[kimpossibooty]

Hi guys so Lauren and I just found out that we need to get a new car and that’s like stupid expensive and I’ve got a job and all so I’m gonna be able to put money towards it but like not That Much That Fast and we kinda need a car So I can go to work and So we can go to school so like things are crazy amounts of crazy and if you happen to have a couple bucks to spare it would be basically life changing and I hate doing this but if you can help it would mean so much

paypal.me/tomgrennell

[targetwetales]

pickle lady

i work at a discount grocery store, and a woman comes into the store with half a jar of pickles she had already eaten that were 79 cents, and proceeds to tell the assistant manager that they were mushy, the assistant manager tells her that there are different kinds of pickles and she bought the mushy kind. This lady tried to return the pickles, even though she had already eaten half the jar that was 79 cents smh 😂

[targetwetales]

I was zoning and just minding my own business when my boss walkies me and asks if we carry ZEST soap and if so where it is. I go double check and let him know, so he and this old dude come around the corner. I hand the guy the soap and he says in a thick southern drawl "This is what Trump told me to buy." My boss and I just looked at each other awkwardly and nodded. That had to be one of the weirdest interactions I've had to date.

[targetwetales]

I worked as a lifeguard at a pool in southwest Virginia that hosts some of the largest swim meets in the state. It draws in people from as far as NOVA, VA beach, and sometimes South Carolina during inter-state meets, and every where in between. During one such inter-state meet, a very starry-eyed ten year old approached my stand during a break between warm-ups. I asked her if she needed help with something and she just turned to stare amazedly toward the wall. She took in a breath and said in the most awe-struck voice, "The windows here are huuuuuuge." before looking back to me with those same eyes and her jaw dropped. "Are they all like this around here?" I explained to her that no, the building was just fairly new and the designer wanted natural lighting so that it would be pretty. She continued to stare before looking contemplative. "I could stack four or five whole elephants in front of those windows and see all of them," she frowned, "the windows at my pool are only big enough to see a baby elephant." and then walked away. I do not know whether or not this child has seen any windows that stretch four stories before, but I am delighted that she uses elephants as a visual aid for the comparison of heights.

[targetwetales]

I May Or May Not Be An Actress

I was shelving books (library page) when a man I had not seen approach me greeted me by calling out [name I cannot now remember].

I looked at him blankly, thrown, as this was not my name and I had just been silently singing the alphabet song. He looked at me with a brightly hopeful expression that did not fade.

‘I’m sorry?’ I said, hoping for clarification, as it seemed he was not going to realize that I was not said person.

'You’re [name], right? I love you!’ he said.

I blinked, still attempting to clear the dregs of L M N O P out of my head. 'No?’ I said, although he seemed so very excited and certain that I was suddenly almost unsure. But no. No, I answer to a number of things, but that was not one of them.

'Oh - really?’ he said, and I was baffled and impressed by his certainty on this point. 'There’s an actress who looks just like you, then, and she’s awesome!’ he told me, and then he left, still grinning, without waiting for a reply.

I’ll be honest with you - I was too afraid to look up this actress on the internet when I finished my shift, although part of me now wishes I had when I still remembered her name.

[targetwetales]

I work in a hotel and a few weeks ago I got to meet John Mulaney. He was checking in and came up to the desk. It took me a second to register that it was him and when I did I was just like "Hi," like I couldn't understand how this was happening. But he was super nice even when there was a problem finding his reservation, and when we were all finished he shook my and my coworker's hands and told us that he was glad that we were fans. 

He will go down as the coolest person I've ever met at work (And I once met Coolio.)

[targetwetales]

I work at a pizza place on a marine base. A few weeks ago a marine came in and he had a Pokemon wallet. I made a joke about it and he pointed to his name on his uniform. His name was Ash. I met Ash Ketchum and sold him a pizza. 

[targetwetales]

It's a tip, mom

So I work at a grocery store and the other day a woman came through my line with her young daughter. As I’m ringing up the mother’s order, her daughter asks her to buy some checkout candy. Her mom says, “You have money. You can buy it if you want.”

So the girl puts down a divider and places her candy on the conveyor belt. She then pulls her wallet (a Ziploc bag) out of her backpack and counts out $1.25 and places it on the belt. Next, she places a tiny pompom with googly eyes beside the money. Her mom looks at her and says, “You can’t pay with that.”

She looks at her mom and says, “It’s a tip, mom.” Her mom smilies kindly and says, “A tip? How sweet.”

So the mother pays for her order and I get to the girl’s order. I scan the candy bar and say, “Will that be all?” She smiles and nods. I pick up the money, count it, and give her the change. I pick up the pompom and ask, “Is this for me?” She grins a little wider and nods. 

I am absolutely thrilled with this tip. I thank her and place up by the computer monitor and tell her that her tip has brightened my day. She smiles again and tells me “You’re welcome.”

They then leave and I am left with an adorable little orange puffball helping me finish my long shift. In the end, my co-worker saw out and exclaimed how cute it was, so I told her how I got it. She wanted to keep it, so I gave it to her.

We all went home happy that day. 

[targetwetales]

i worked at walmart in the electronic department, that day i was on cash. two men walked up hauling one of the $500 televisions, flat screen, very nice, and handed me a huge wad of 20’s. it took 6 minutes to count it properly, they kept sticking. 

the same day, an old man paid for a smaller tv in the same fashion.

[targetwetales]

I worked at a tourism building where unless you had a service animal pets weren’t allowed. I was at the front desk when I was radioed from a staff member on the top floor asking about our animal policy because and I quote, “there’s a man with a pram full of cats and he wants to take photos of the cats up here”. A pram full of cats. I always checked prams after that.

[targetwetales]

In the first couple months I was working at Target, I was in softlines. I got called up for backup at the register, and when the lines had died down, I was waiting for the GSA to give me the go-ahead to go back out on the floor. While waiting, a guest came up to ask me if this (guest service) was where they could pick up their online order. As I was not a cashier, I asked the GSA, and then relayed the info, “Yes, it is, if you’ll just hop in line, (GSA) will be with you in a sec!” Guest proceeds to scream at me about how they were already in line, calling me all kinds of names, when their husband shows up, who just goes with it and also yells at me, one of the last things he says is, “You need to train your cashiers better!!” I told GSA that if she needed me for backup again, I would be on the floor, and walked away. The couple attempted to file a complaint, but my STL (bless him) had been watching the whole thing and asked them to leave the store. 

[targetwetales]

Fun time Mcdonalds

Aight so ive been at this mcdonalds a month now, first week i was approached to become a manager with no prompting no prior experience and no show of interest on my behalf, of course i wanted the pay increase turns out this franchise doesnt pay, but thats a whole nother can of worms today im here about my gum collection, now see we have a regular customer an odd fellow, he gets lots of trial packs or somethin but he comes thru during the breakfast death of 8 o clock and orders three coffees fresh and a random few other things and he distributes these wonderful snack packs but mostly he gives out you guessed it gum, now i wouldnt be concerned usually but i give out six packs a day if i can if not i have a pile growing right now its taken over one of my stools i have gum enough for me and three people for a good while of heavy chewing too so welcome to gum land, (ill have more stories about my store cause boi do i have a few)

[targetwetales]

Honeybaked Ham Co.

Ah yes, the land of ham. The most baffling part about working at Honeybaked is the sheer number of people coming up to me and asking if we have any ham. Like??? It's in the name???? What else did you expect to find here??? People confuse me sometimes.

[targetwetales]

Today was my last day at Subway where I work(I'm transferring to a different location next week). I wish I could say it went well. It didn't. I was scolded by a customer when I miscounted the number of pieces of ham I had put on her sandwich, and then later I dropped two sandwiches. At one point I slipped on a piece of tomato that had fallen on the floor and slammed into the register counter. All in all, it was not my day. There were some bright spots though- a customer complimented my new ring, I spent my shift listening to one of the people who works in the convience store type thing we share the space with sing songs from Hamilton (he had a really good singing voice, so it was nice to hear), and I got to go home half an hour early because it was super slow. I'm looking forward to what stories my next Subway working experience will produce!

[targetwetales]

I work at a beauty supply store, and one of the items we keep at the register hoping to get people to buy them is a little massager-glove type thing, for giving other people massages. The other day, a couple comes in- dyed hair, covered in tattoos, with the chubbiest, cutest blonde-haired toddler I've ever seen. They buy some color protectant shampoo and check out, and the little girl goes "daddy, daddy, mommy always says her back hurts, lets get her this! I want to get her this!" And picks up the massager. Her dad says that they can't get it today and they leave, with her pouting. Three days later the dad and the little girl come back in again, and he tells her they're "going to get it for mommy now as a surprise." I think I was smiling as hard as the little girl during this interaction.

[targetwetales]

Temecula sucks

So I worked at Togo’s which shared a space with Baskin Robins, every day people would come in and ask us for ice cream. There’s clearly two sides and two cashiers but if you work on one side, you’re not trained in the other so I’d have to explain that they have to go to the other side and order. They do but give dirty looks.

We also have a different sandwich special every day an it comes with a drink an side. So it’s Ham and Cheese and this couple comes in asking if they can have that but no ham. Well no because that would just be a cheese sandwich and it would be a different price. They demand to talk to the manager so I give them the sales manager because our other was on her hour lunch and she explained the same thing. They stormed off, angry about not being treated fairly.

[targetwetales]

I work at at a tiny little Joann’s Fabric and Crafts. One side of our neighborhood is retirement villages and general SnowBird Land. The other side is sketchy, cheap motels and halfway homes.

I was working the cut-counter, with an enormous line of grandmas with carts filled to the brim with fabric. Since my store is chronically short-staffed, the regulars had taken it upon themselves to entertain the more impatient customers. God Bless these Grannies.

I was four yards into a ten yard cut, half-listening to the regulars banter, when I saw another customer approach from the corner of my eye. I immediately paused my measuring and looked up to tell them to get a ticket before they started shopping.

The customer was a middle aged woman with dirty clothes and bright blue eye shadow. She slowly walked over to the cut counter, stared intensely into my eyes. In a croaky voice, she asked- no- told me “I need a computer.”

The store was silent, the Grannies had paused their story to watch the newcomer, and I had no idea what to say. The poor woman was obviously stoned out of her mind, and I’m already a lump of social awkwardness. After stammering for a few seconds, I lifted up the bolt of flannel I was measuring and said “We’re a fabric store?”

The woman stared at me for ten more seconds.

“Okay.” She finally mumbled. “I don’t need a computer.”

Then left as slowly as she came.