Bourgeoisie to a penny thing

[xeduo]

Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.

The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game…

So the first picture is this:

Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious

I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game

[xeduo]

Okay so later in the lineup we get to Dalí’s Persistence of Memory, which is very funny because it’s preceded by several pieces that have like, obvious people in them, so everyone’s gotten a bit complacent in their mimicry

In case you’ve forgotten, this is Persistence:

And I swear every time, there’s a beat right before everyone either becomes a tree by t-posing for their life, or goes boneless like some kind of child-shaped pancake over the nearest flat surface

Highlights from this one include a pair who decided to drape themselves pancake-style over the same desk and banged heads, resulting in 2 ground pancakes, and someone who fully just stood there staring, and explained that they were expressing the hatred they felt as soon as they saw it

[xeduo]

Last installment: one of the pictures is The Scream, and everyone very quickly just makes a 😱 face, but then we get to talk about my favorite “throw spaghetti at the wall” topic, why is he screaming? (The answer is Existential Dread, but it’s not appropriate to tell 1st graders that so instead we all put out other ideas lol)

In case you haven’t looked at it recently, this is The Scream:

My favorite guesses from the kids to Why Is He Screaming:

-those guys behind him are going to arrest him

-he missed his boat and it’s one of the ones in the background, he just noticed

-the sky’s all wiggly

-he just wanted to scream

-HE CAN SEE THE CLASS OF FIRST GRADERS LOOKING AT HIM AND HE DOESN’T LIKE IT

Children are bonkers

[elkian]

“and someone who fully just stood there staring, and explained that they were expressing the hatred they felt as soon as they saw it “

[milk-and-violets]

I present y’all with:

the quiz to finally end the discourse

Are you a Soldier, A Poet, or A King?

warning, this quiz goes unexpectedly hard

[starknesskenobi]

When I’m watching a Period Drama and the love interest is walking across a field wearing a puffy white shirt and a flowing long coat: 

[historieofbeafts]

I know I make fun of Pliny the Elder a lot, but I genuinely can’t stop thinking about this approach to taxonomy:

[There is a fish called the tursio, which bears a strong resemblance to the dolphin; it differs from it, however, in a certain air of sadness, and is wanting in its peculiar vivacity.]

Like, imagine someone describing an animal to you, but the only information they’ll provide is that it’s sort of like another animal, but much much sadder.

[hornypineapple]

okay so apparently the word “Tursio” is what people in Pliny’s time called the porpoise. for reference, here is a dolphin:

and here is a porpoise:

anyways long story short Pliny was entirely correct stop bullying him

[ittybittytatertot]

Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

[headspace-hotel]

Evil biology facts that fill me with Fear :)

hey, I heard y’all like evil biology facts like knowledge about horse blood types.

well! today I was researching alternative biochemistries extraterrestrial life could use and. man. I think Earth life is fucked up enough for me thanks

biological dark matter. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BLOOD HAS DNA IN IT FROM NO KNOWN SOURCE. YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT COME BACK HERE

One specific cave that has been sealed for 5.5 million years and has developed an ecosystem completely dependent on chemosynthetic bacteria.

Was anybody going to tell me that bacteria have decided iron is yummy and are eating the Titanic, or was I supposed to just read that myself

Terrible Berry (yes, that’s what the genus name means). This whole thing is so fucked up. These scientists were testing whether radiation could be used to kill pathogens in food, so they dosed a tin of meat with enough radiation to kill any known living organism (as one does) but guess what, it still fucking spoiled because of THIS BASTARD FUCKER.

(seriously, why is it like this? WHY has a bacterium evolved to chill in radioactive waste like it’s a soothing Jacuzzi tub? What does it know that we don’t know?)

(ANSWERS. I WANT ANSWERS, YOU CHERNOBYL ASS BITCH.)

Cursed worm, which has no mouth or digestive system and depends entirely on five (5) different species of bacteria, which consume hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen monoxide, and carbon monoxide, for food. How do you, a worm, even...figure out how to do...all that?

Bone worms. At least they like their bones already dead. I still could have gone without knowing this was a thing.

“Oh, parasitic plant, that sounds c—WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING”

I am like half convinced this is made up. Seriously, bacteria grow their own electrical wires and we just let them?

[headspace-hotel]

To clarify

Evil (affectionate and admiring)

[uglymelon]

They took the unkillable bacterium and put a Disney song inside of it.

“In 2003, U.S. scientists demonstrated D. radiodurans could be used as a means of information storage that might survive a nuclear catastrophe. They translated the song "It's a Small World" into a series of DNA segments 150 base pairs long, inserted these into the bacteria, and were able to retrieve them without errors 100 bacterial generations later.”

[headspace-hotel]

*opens worldbuilding notebook* *takes further notes*

[glumshoe]

I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to.

[donesparce]

There are three breeds of cat:

Chonk

Goblin

Yeah that looks like a cat

[donesparce]

Subcategories of breeds:

Floof

Naked

Normal

[argentinelakeduck]

[formerprincewille]

This is my favorite post

[popsunner]

[popsunner]

[popsunner]

[popsunner]

[unashamedly-pratchett]

[sponesaf]

[glumshoe]

Art forgery is the best crime tbh. It requires absolutely incredible artistic talent, technical skill, and attention to detail to make convincing fakes. Does anyone get hurt from it? No! The only people who suffer for it are the extremely wealthy who want the prestige of having original paintings in their own homes. It’s full of international intrigue and mystery. Perfect.

[glumshoe]

Also… art forgers like van Meegeren sometimes become a kind of folk hero. A swindler, sure, but a gentleman’s swindler.

[cipherface-deactivated20200224]

I liked this guy’s story, Mark Landis, who conned several dozen museums into displaying his forgeries, but when the FBI came after him they couldn’t do anything because he had always given them away as donations. They said if they could have found that he’d ever taken anything in exchange they would have prosecuted him, but all he wanted was get to out of the house and meet people.

[glumshoe]

“The first painting Landis “donated” was a copy of a work by Maynard Dixon, an artist well-known for his paintings of cowboys and Indians. It started as impulse, Landis says, but then “everybody was just so nice and treated me with respect and deference and friendship, things I was very unused to — I mean, actually not used to at all. And I got addicted to it.”” And it looks like all his forgeries are done with cheap materials, like markers and Hobby Lobby frames.

Ok, but Wolfgang Beltracchi is probably one of the best Fraud Artists in the world.

His career brought him millions upon millions of dollars and lasted almost 40 years. He finally admitted to painting fraudulent art after the white paint he used came under scrutiny. 

“ Bob Simon: What do you think this Max Ernst would be worth? Wolfgang Beltracchi: This one? Simon: Yeah. Beltracchi: $5 million, I think. Simon: $5 million.  And you can do it in three days? Beltracchi: Yeah, oh yes, yes, sure, or quicker” -From a 60 minutes interview with Bob Simon

In The interview with Beltracchi, he said that none of his forgeries are copies, they’re all original works that the famous artists could have painted.

“Beltracchi estimates he has done 25 Max Ernsts. He is not copying an existing work. He’s painting something he thinks Ernst might have done if he’d had the time or felt like it.”  -  The Con Artist: A multi-million dollar art scam

His wife was also in on the scam, she would dress up in old clothing and take pictures holding the paintings with old cameras to fake proof of the paintings’ ages.

At the end of the interview with Wolfgang Beltracchi he was asked if he felt he had done anything wrong, his answer was “ Yeah, I used the wrong kind of paint”

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Just … the levels of con there, the fake photos and … wow. That’s incredible. 

[themutantgene]

Heroes

[siezureinabag]

Also fun fact we learned in class today: Michelangelo carved a sculpture of a Roman god, broke off the arm, and then buried it. The sculpture was dug up and was considered to be an authentic Roman artefact, until Michelangelo came along with the missing arm and called shenanigans on himself, just to prove he was as skilled a sculptor as the ancient Romans.

[lamujeroscura]

honestly mike? chill.

[sarcastic-grill-memer-blog]

YEHS U GO ARTISTS

[thivus]

when you think about this its basically reverse-plagiarism

[cursed-and-haunted]

I know this is going to make me sound pretensions but I have to get it off my chest. I feel an unimaginable rage when someone posts a photo and is like "this picture looks like a renaissance painting lol" when the photo clearly has the lighting, colors and composition of a baroque or romantic painting. There are differences in these styles and those differences are important and labeling every "classical" looking painting as renaissance is annoying and upsetting to me. And anytime I come across one of those posts I have to put down my phone and go take a walk because they make me so mad

[cursed-and-haunted]

In case you're curious here's what I mean.

Renaissance(distinct lines, stability and the individual man):

Baroque (bold, chaotic, dramatic):

Romantic(romanticize the simple hard working life):

Do you see the difference?

[suppermariobroth]

In the data of Super Mario Galaxy, this unused model of a Super Mushroom exists. Although it does not appear in-game, it is crucial to the operation of the game as large amounts of the code reference it. If it is deleted from the game’s files, the game will not function whatsoever, not even being able to start up.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Source: twitter.com user “CometObservator”

[mtndewpitchblack]

load bearing super mushroom

[heart-locket-musicboxless]

[argumate]

fucking around for three days and then making a herculean effort on day four that restores your average progress to what a moderately inept person would have achieved with consistent effort, that’s what it’s all about.

[aceabe]

no. i don’t want whatever you’re selling

[popgoth]

let her in wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[john190-the-homicidal-maniac]

Hey would you like hear about our lord and saviour Odin?

[madewithmoreblog]

LET HER IN!

[humortexts]

[shortvideosandstuff]

X

[psychara-deactivated20190811]

THIS IS THE BEST COMMERCIAL EVER

[satan-is-salmon-deactivated2017]

I’ve reblogged this so many times because I truly think every parent should involve themselves with what their child enjoys. 

[dance-hall-dyke-deactivated2019]

Not to mention this is an act of solidarity. He’s saying “even if the entire world is against you, I’m on your side.” Which I think is important for a kid to know. He’s refusing to be a bully to his child, even if he doesn’t understand.

[desertcryptid]

I work at Hot Topic and we had a white suburban dad in who was buying matching heavy metal/screamo band shirts for him and his teenage daughter and said “To be honest, I think this stuff sounds like garbage, but she likes it so we listen to it together and we’re going to the concert for Christmas.” And it was just really heartwarming to see him so involved in his child’s life and validating her interests.

[thecheshirecass-deactivated2018]

I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS.

[crhodey]

“I don’t get it, but I love how you love it” is one of the best things anyone can say. My entire family asks questions about comics because they want to share my enthusiasm for them and support me, even though they otherwise wouldn’t pay attention to the industry at all.

[vegfreak]

I cried when I first saw this

[deanlovescassie]

This is amazing and really important

[absolutepie]

I went though a goth faze in my teens (like most) and I wanted more than anything to paint my room black. My mom was supportive of my personal expression in terms of my clothes and hair and accessories but she was genuinely concerned about the toll a black room would take on my mental health (I was already prone to recurring depression at that point and still am). I begged for months to repaint my room, but she wouldn’t budge.

One weekend i spent with my dad and when I came back she had repainted my room. A beautiful deep blue on three walls (my favourite colour), lovely sky blue on the ceiling,and one wall was black. The black wall had been sanded smooth and painted with several coats of chalkboard paint. She gave me a couple boxes of chalk and told me to have at it. I LOVED that black wall and wrote on it every day. I drew on it, I doodled, I wrote out my favourite emo song lyrics, wrote reminders for myself, anything I wanted. It was my favourite part of my room and was something that it would have never occurred to me to ask for. It was something only my very creative and clever mom could have come up with and I’m still grateful to her for it.

In retrospect, a room of black walls would indeed have been encouraging a reacurrence of my depression and my moms answer was the perfect compromise. That black wall ended up being the most colourful part of my room.

[emmaubler]

This whole post

[kasaron]

This is how I try to live; I’m absurdly enthusiastic about everyones hobbies, because if they’re sharing it with you that means they want you to hear about something they think is important!