☆And The Wave Returns To The Ocean☆ @tasty-cilantro - Tumblr Blog

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭:

Hey I’m cilantro! I go by that on all platforms.

✯✯✯

#my intro post #field notes from the veggie garden

It’s Tuesday and I’m already dying

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

Post includes topics of dermatillomania, skin picking, self harm

So I kinda want to bring attention to something I struggle with cause I know a lot of people feel the same way or have had similar experiences. I have dermatillomania, a disorder that is most tied with ocd and adhd. It’s a constant compulsion to pick at my skin. I have dealt with this since I was in diapers, since I didn’t like bugspray as a kid so I wouldn’t wear it and pick my bites until they were full on wounds.

I have ruined multiple shirts and sleeves and pants with blood, soaking through until I couldn’t get out the stains. I am partial to black clothing (especially long sleeves) due to this and there are multiple times a week I have to wash my arms before removing a hoodie because of all of the blood that is underneath.

I am aware of the severity of the hygiene issues that come with this, as well as the infections. I am a clean person, I don’t smell and I am not visibly dirty. I have just learned to live with it at this point. It has gotten to the point, on very stressful occasions, where I genuinely will pick at my skin in my sleep. This has lead to me having manyyyy infections throughout the years, including stage 3 staff across my face.

I have deep, deep scar tissue from reopening wounds constantly, it is very annoying. It is very hard to quit this kind of habit, especially when you already have tendencies to self harm like I do. You can imagine how those two go together :D. As well as what one may typically consider sh to be, dermatillomania falls under this category. It is a harming of oneself, whether compulsive/ill intent or not.

This habit is an awful one to quit. I’ve tried for so, so many years. As a kid, my family would make me wear long sleeves and pants even in the summer and give me gloves. Ya boy chewed through the tips of the gloves to get to my nails. It’s just become a part of my day.

This post is to maybe make someone feel less alone in their compulsive behavior. I have struggled with it for so long and I still do, and I am not even close to the worst case. Please seek professional help if you are at risk of infection or purposefully harming yourself. mwahhh <3

#if there’s grammar or spelling mistakes I do not care #I am going through a bit of anxiety med withdrawal rn cause I’m switching meds #anyways #dermatillomania #dermatology #ocd #adhd #obsessive compulsive disorder #compulsions #skin picking #sh #field notes from the veggie garden

ancientstone

Vampire: *struggling*

Me:

Vampire: *still struggling*

Me: look, I said I have tricky veins-

Vampire: DO YOU HAVE THEM AT ALL????

parsonkenny101-deactivated20161

blondeninazenik

All y'all better be reblogging this

Fav doki??

just…..

Yuri

Sayori

Monika

Natsuki

Voting ended onAug 11

#mine is natsuki my girllll #doki doki literature club #ddlc #ddlc sayori #ddlc monika #ddlc natsuki #ddlc yuri #yuri #just monika #natsuki #sayori #field notes from the veggie garden

binghes-mother

when a popular mutual or blog in the fandom interacts with my posts I feel like an anime girl when senpai notices me

Some part of me believes that if I just have pure of heart I won’t need my glasses anymore

#they pmo #field notes from the veggie garden

I already wanna go home and I’m not even there yet

#ugh #cilantro is in the schoolyard

oddandalarmingsexualfeelings

they should invent a headache that goes away the second you drink any water at all

footlongdingledong

idk man not to sound like a cartoon hippie but if your entirrrrre blog and dash is about how the world sucks and everyones bigoted i think you are going to give yorself brain worms

footlongdingledong

"ah but all of this is important and true and if i dont reblog all of this important stuff waga baga THE WORMS! THATS WORMS! THE BRAIN WORMS!

footlongdingledong

i do not think you are doing activism chief i think what you are doing is sitting in your room flagellating yourself expecting something to happen

I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have to sleep I have t-

wifegideonnav

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

apjvff

this site ain't so bad. it's something to do in the mornings while ur bread toasts, right? ^_^

INTERNET I NEED YOU TO WORK I NEED TO WATCH MY SHOW

#UGHH #it’s irritating #anyway lmao #glmm #gacha #this is only half a joke #field notes from the veggie garden

energyprison

most embarrassing thing someone can see is your youtube home page. id rather they walk in on me naked

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☆And The Wave Returns To The Ocean☆