thoughts about Famous Jay cause I’m fixating:
much like his regular self, he isn’t too involved in the running of his own life because people definitely do that for him
he always says sweets are his guilty pleasure for #Relatable Interviews but really he doesn’t eat much because he’s got a figure to maintain
he can be an ass but it’s very purposeful. people let him get away with too much and he is DESPERATELY trying to do whatever he can to get people to be mean to him like Matt would’ve (Oscars slap was a win)
when he has sex he similarly wants it really rough. people play along but he’s a celebrity so they demur way more than he wants
when he plays alone at his piano, he sometimes feels the shadow of Matt behind him. it breaks his heart to remember
he brings up his “toxic living situation” so much because he’s trying to remind himself that this was for the best
he actually desperately wishes he could do more creatively, but his label’s actually pretty locked in on his sound staying consistent so he doesn’t get to experiment the way he wants to and that makes him desperately miss what music used to be for him
sometimes if he misses Matt too much, he allows himself to sneak a slushie and have a little cry
he is still a pampered little diva. he will literally whine for things, and he gets very used to having it immediately. but he kinda misses the devotion of his one special guy he’d be whiny with
similarly, like. everybody loves him and that’s AMAZING, but like. is it as cool when everyone does? also, he learned about Negative Attention once? REALLY disliked it so now no one can even breathe a word about it. he does not have direct access to his own twitter replies but he does get shown a curated list of praise :)
cannot keep a partner for more than like. 2 dates to save his life. what’s sad is that he’s actually really trying. but no one feels Right so he’s quick to discard them
sometimes he hooks up with people less out of immediate sexual desire and more to try to fill that gaping hole in his heart
his bandmates were actually very excited to meet him at first and do find him to be a talented musician but…. he is a coddled, spoiled brat who doesn’t know what he wants out of life and… he kinda scared ‘em into keeping their distance
they started a book club without him and despite the fact he’s not sure the last he read a book…. he is offended
he really knows how to like. Celebrity Play Pretend socialize but like. how to be a Real Person? beyond him
he still has Matt’s phone number. he’s never called it, but he’s got it. maybe the number has changed, anyway, but…
lowkey he probably did call Emilia when he got famous but. she’s kind of still pissed about the whole Breaking Up With Her To Be in a Band With Matt and Then Not Even Sticking To That Band thing so… didn’t work. she was angry though and that reminded him of Matt and made him kind of horny
the intersection of like. reminders of Matt, displays of anger, and his feeling horny…. it Exists, alright
despite a strong anti-drug upbringing and the scary man with the scary eyes, his desire to feel something MORE has led him to… really try every drug there is. nothing really hits quite right, but alcohol or marijuana can help him sleep. and he has access to questionably legal sleeping pills. of course he dabbles
one of his biggest non-Matt fantasies (Matt is still there) is simply going to the Mandarin and having multiple plates exclusively of sweets he is getting that hot fudge topping and eating just that with a SPOON
still never played the Rivoli. seemed… wrong
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