Tea @tea-addictdk - Tumblr Blog

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

gallusrostromegalus

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

cm8x-insanity

I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)

gallusrostromegalus

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

cosmikazie

hey remember when people said we gotta keep talking about this and then two days passed and it just went quiet. anyways

cosmikazie

due to recent (and frankly ongoing as far as this website is concerned) events

brainstreams

Don't use AI to write. Use cocaine like a real author.

polish-lolita

theshitpostcalligrapher

she got lil grispers

gettign me. owie.

theshitpostcalligrapher

tumblr why is this marked as mature am i not allowed to have arms

theshitpostcalligrapher

fun fact i requested a review for the mature content tag and they... denied it??? the request second review button is right there tho

horrorcoreprincess

theonion

Calling the study’s findings “revolutionary” for anyone currently staring down a henchman or terrorist, a study from Johns Hopkins University published Thursday found that the explosive power of a rocket launcher increased by 35% when the person firing it shouted “Suck on this.” “According to our trials, squinting your eyes and dramatically stating, ‘Hey dickbreath, suck on this,’ produced a dramatic surge in overall ballistic capacity,” said the study’s lead author, Mark Prigge, noting that participants nearly doubled their inflicted damage when they slung an RPG onto their shoulder and uttered a phrase like “Sayonara, sucker” or “Say good night, asshole.”

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neal-illustrator

Mimi in the cookie jar!

stealingpotatoes

Playing DA Inquisition for the first time and both Cullen and Josephine are so pretty. How is my Inquisitor supposed to choose who to romance!?

its a really hard choice so i've made you a helpful infographic to assist your decision <3

theonion

Upending long-held beliefs about how the prehistoric reptiles commemorated a juvenile female’s transition into adulthood, new evidence published Thursday by researchers at Montana State University suggests that dinosaurs had quinceañeras. “As we examined fossilized footprints in a traditional waltz pattern at dig sites across multiple continents, it became clear that dinosaurs did in fact throw lavish 15th birthday parties for their female offspring, usually with friends and extended family members present,” said paleontologist Edwin Scanlon, who cited the prevalence of petrified las últimas muñecas in sedimentary rock layers and observed that the practice of holding a Catholic mass to mark the 15-year-old’s emergence into Mesozoic society appears to have been common among tyrannosaurs, diplodocuses, and other dinosaurs.

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