ellievsbear
@theartofmadeline
Janaina Medeiros
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d e v o n
Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies
Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
roma★
art blog(derogatory)
Three Goblin Art
$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du
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Kaledo Art
noise dept.
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cherry valley forever
Love Begins
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@teacherarchives
Advertisement with heavily pink color palette voice: Hey feminist kween! Your legs are hairy as fuck and that’s horrifying! Girlboss, your hair is a labyrinthine maze of knots and radioactive grease! Soul sister, if odor down there were authoritarianism, you would make Stalin look like an anarchist. Buy our product, you hideous bitch, and maybe God will finally turn his gaze upon your wretched body. #TheFutureIsFemale!
God will not abandon you. So don’t you abandon us.
THE PRINCE OF EGYPT 1998, dir. Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner, Simon Wells
ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason
one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief
another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me
and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept
why!!! who said you could act like this!!!
god gave them hands but not shame
get confused in old novels that intermix “oaths” with swearing and assume that the Hippocratic Oath is just “fuck”
Fuck sickness - Hippocrates
down with sickness, amirite??
Doo wah-ah-ah-ah no harm.
I just want my friends to be okay
Highfalutin revolutionary theory and political economy is great and all, but at the end of the day that’s all this is really about: My friends are hurting and I just want us to be okay because I love them so much
The fae smiled, sharply: “Give me your name, child.”
“Uhhhhh. Stick.”
“What.”
“Does Leaf work better? I’m just kinda looking around this clearing. Look, I’m trans, I haven’t decided on one yet, I’m throwing some spaghetti at the wall, you know how it is.”
Fae are born with features sharp and narrow, yet this one seems to soften as Moss looks at it. Its grin— sharp, teeth gleaming, its eyes— cutting, searching, the jut and pull of its jaw enough to scratch glass. It does not blink. Branch does not blink. It softens.
“I said, give me your name, child.”
“I still haven’t picked one,” Grass defends, even now still hoping for a way out of a faeries deal.
“No. But your parents did. Give me your name, child, and it shall no longer be yours. The entity of your name shall no longer exist, and you will be free for whichever name you choose— Leaf, or Stick, or Lichen.”
“…oh.” says Petal, and in the next moment a name falls from their lips. It is not their name. It never has been. The fae is sharp and cutting and witty, that moment of softness an imagined slight.
“Very well, child. Be warned of mushroom circles, should you lose your name again.”
“Okay,” Mushroom smiles, and the Fae pulls itself away from their reality in a swirl of feathers and silk.
When they go home for the first time in two months, their mother frets over them in a way she had not since they were a child, and she calls them by no name at all.
Goddamn. This is my favorite version of ‘faeries take your name’, that’s it, we can all go home now.
The fae said trans rights
dsjdlkfjsldkjfl. Last night I groaned in psychological pain while trying to go to sleep while being cuddled. Giant asked me what it was.
“When I was eight…” (giant: exasperated sigh) “I was running a relay race around the field, and there were people sitting in a semi-circle who were meant to demarcate the course boundaries. I was in lead, but when I came to the semi-circle I couldn’t tell if they delineated the inside or the outside of the track. I guessed outside, but I was wrong. I had to turn around and run the right way, and my team lost for it.”
the giant: >:[<] “WHY IS THIS A MEMORY YOU’VE HELD ONTO”
you see I would have guessed inside, because that’s a logical Schelling point: if you have to run around them then no matter how close you cut the corner you’re still going to be running total distance + epsilon, whereas if they are the outer border everyone is going to be tempted to leave a little more gap and there is no limit to how much they can shorten the course.
(actually in reality I would be running in entirely the opposite direction, I had absolutely no idea what was going on at age eight and it didn’t occur to me that I could ask people for clarification until I was about sixteen).
people assumed I knew how to play cricket because I was from Australia and I went along with it as I assumed they must be right.
I did not know how to play cricket.
listen i know a lot of you think that judaism is just like….christianity but with some cool more ~ethnique~ holidays or whatever but if you’re approaching your interpretation of judaism within any sort of framework related to xtianity you’re doing it entirely wrong
“the torah says [x]” doesn’t mean “the torah says this and so this is what everyone does bc that’s the torah”
“the torah says [x]” means “for the next several thousand years people are going to argue about what exactly this means, what the loopholes are, how many different ways this can be interpreted, whether we should even follow it, and hey maybe gd isn’t even real so maybe the question is how this impacts us and our society, what are the implications, etc”
judaism is not “the torah says sodomy is an abhorrence therefore the entire religion is intrinsically homophobic and gd hates gays and is gonna send us to hell for being gay” because that is not how judaism works AT ALL
if you’re a prospective convert, if you’re someone who’s interested in theology, if you’re someone who thinks you know enough about judaism to talk about it on the internet, it is ESSENTIAL to understand these things.
judaism is not, and has never been, xtianity. not just because of our holidays. not just because we don’t believe that jesus is the messiah. but because we have a fundamentally different philosophy about gd, the torah, and how we should live our lives.
this is ok to rb btw
ykw goyim can reblog this too just don’t be stupid
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
There’s more!
I love.
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
(just fine)
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
we’re coming to you LIVE More than two hundred thousand notes later from HALLOWEEN 2020, where WEXTER continues to be absolutely DINO-RIFFIC!
… at least for as long as it takes to chew the costume off.
now with additional FUN OUTTAKES FROM LAST NIGHT:
father why
your WEXTER used FIRE BLAST 🔥🔥🔥
I want to write. I have ideas. I open document. I type four of the worst sentences ever created in the english language. I daydream the rest of the scene. I close document.
I could have done without knowing Baby Sugarberry exists because now I want Baby Sugarberry.
Big Sugarberry’s whole body is ivory, while her head is still white. I was worried the spots on her face would stain, but they came right off.
when it’s november 1st
Songs with the same bpm but played over different than original video tracks give me life
Follow me on Instagram at connor_lachmanec_art
This is the sweetest, best, funniest thing ever! I love it so hard!
Ok, I showed this to my conservative, trumpet mother and do you know what she said. Can you guess.
She said “don’t take him seriously”.
She’s past gone.
