Teacher Crush Advice

advice for the lovelorn tcc

[byebyethinspo]

Let’s say 95% of you doesn’t want to get better. There’s 5% of you that is trying to protect you. Both parts are real. Both parts exist for a reason. Let both parts be heard, and listen a bit more closely to that 5%

my doctor this morning (via byebyethinspo)

[studyblr]

your life can look so different, so much better, in just a few months. keep going.

[teachercrushadvice]

Living proof

[closet-keys]

You know all those posts about ways to make it easier to tell your mean inner voice to shut up? Like “imagine they’re an annoying kid on x-box” or “imagine they’re trump” or “give them an annoying name” etc.

If those things work for you don’t read on. If they don’t, though, and telling them to shut up doesn’t make your self criticism go away, it just makes it challenge you and spiral further into upsetting thoughts—

I really recommend looking into Internal Family Systems therapy.

Instead of being about shutting up your inner critical voice, you listen to it and figure out what part of you is saying that and why, and then you address the root causes of those fears and insecurities

For example, say you have the thought “ugh I look disgusting today” and telling that voice to shut up might make it just fire back with “I’m repulsive, I’m worthless, I should die” and get progressively more extreme and negative

An IFS model might identify that voice as a Part that sees your physical body as an objectified signifier of your worth. You can then address the Part and ask “who taught you that?” or “what are you afraid will happen if you like your body? Did someone hurt you for your body? Do you think if you hurt yourself first they won’t have reason to hurt you? Maybe you trying to hurt yourself is actually you wanting to protect yourself from a greater harm from someone else. Maybe you just want to be safe. That’s okay, you deserve to feel safe. And I have other ways to feel safe now besides self harm, I’ve learned new things to do. Let’s do those.”

Then you’ve made that part feel addressed so it settles down and let’s you take care of it instead of getting louder and more defensive and agitated. So the voice in your head will stop being cruel and find healthier ways to address its fears.

And of course, this is really a strategy for you to confront the fears beneath your self hatred and accept and work through them instead of trying to suppress them with more anger and self hatred at having those fears in the first place.

[apricops]

The Body Keeps The Score has some good stuff about this, and is a good book in general

[itsokaytodecay]

I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of an anxiety attack or a panic attack. So if you’ve done that today or any day, I’m proud of you.

[healthforpositivebodies]

Sometimes it’s hard to know when to be tough on yourself and when to be kind. 

Taking care of yourself can sometimes mean pushing yourself. 

But taking care of yourself can also mean being kind and gentle with yourself. 

Finding that balance can be really difficult, and it’s okay if it’s something you’re still struggling with!

[thegoodvybe]

[sarthrives]

Yesterday I couldn’t sit down for more than 2 minutes to study without crawling back into my bed. I felt utterly and hopelessly incompetent and lazy. Today I am sitting down with a piping hot cup of coffee and successfully getting through my readings. Its okay to take a break. Its okay to take time for your mind, body, and soul to heal. Allowing yourself to engage in self-care is just as important (if not more important) as getting your course work done.

You will be okay. You are good. You are worthy, and not nearly as bad as you think you are.

[sweetschizo-deactivated20190808]

Can we leave all the “psychiatric medication is bad, evil and unnecessary” discourse in 2017 where it belongs and fucking accept that the brain is an organ that can get sick and need treatment just like any other part of the body?

[neurodivergent-crow]

Yeah I reblogged this 3x in a row. It was on purpose. Fight me.

[teachercrushadvice]

How is the tcc doing these days?

[teachercrushadvice]

HELP. I fucked up!

We've all had this thought after a conversation with a TC, and I'm here to let you know how I've learned to handle it. It's easy to jump to conclusions. It's easy to assume that you've done damage to a delicate relationship.

Pause.

You usually haven't. At most, you've probably created and awkward moment. At times, I've found myself apologizing for things and my TC would be totally confused as to what I was sorry about, because it WASN'T A BIG DEAL. Don't act during the first few minutes or hours after an embarrassing moment. Take the time to clear your head, talk to a close friend if you can, and try to ascertain the real situation. Did you make a joke that didn't land? Get too personal? Fear that you've insulted your TC? All these are valid concerns, but they shouldn't inhibit your ability to speak freely. If you still think you need to apologize, then do, but keep it simple. Your TC will likely perceive your sincerity.

[teachercrushadvice]

How to approach your TC

(Even when you're nervous)

1) it's ok to be nervous! Teachers will usually understand that students can get shy when they approach them one-on-one. This holds true whether or not there is a crush involved

2) come in with a question. If it's not directly related to class, that's ok. Ask for advice. What would you like to do when you get older? Are you struggling with picking a job or activity?

3) don't beat up on yourself. Don't judge yourself too harshly for feeling awkward. It's normal. It's ok. You're your own best ally in this situation.

4) know that teachers often do want to make a connection with their students. A lot of them care. That's why they became teachers.

5) protect yourself. No matter how much you like somebody, don't let them treat you badly. Although I tend to believe there are many more good people out there than bad, it is still possible that someone will take advantage of you. If that's the case, don't keep quiet. You'll get through this.

My experiences with teachers have been overwhelming positive and enriching. If you want advice specific to your situation, send me a message

[tc-lovins]

Hi guys. I couldn’t find the original blank to reblog since it apparently got deleted, so I put a new blank version from what I found in the October TC tag. These were not made by me! 

Day 1: How long have you known your TC for?

Day 2: What sets your TC apart from everyone else?

Day 3: If you were able to sing a song to your TC, what would it be and why?

Day 4: What fictional character does your TC resemble?

Day 5: If your TC called you beautiful, how would you react or respond?  

Day 6: What landmark in the world best describes your TC?

Day 7: Do you think you’ll stay in contact with your TC after you leave? If you’ve already left, have you?

Day 8: Can you think of any advice for somebody currently crushing on their teacher?

Day 9: Have you ever gone somewhere with you TC non-school related?

Day 10: Has your TC ever complimented you? Either appearance or personality?

Day 11: Do you have a favourite outfit for your TC?

Day 12: Have you ever cried in front of your TC? How did they react?

Day 13: If your TC named their child after you, how would you feel?

Day 14: What has been your best moment with you TC?

Day 15: Has your TC ever flirted with you, be it playfully or seriously?

Day 16: Have you ever stalked them on social networking sites? If so, how often?

Day 17: Describe your TC in three words

Day 18: Do you have any nicknames for each other?

Day 19: Have either of your parents met your TC? If so what did they think of him/her?

Day 20: Are you or have you crushed on another teacher before? What happened?

Day 21: Have you ever met your TC’s partner/wife/husband? What was it like?

Day 22: Imagine your school is asking students to write an article on student teacher relationships and you’ve been asked to help. What sort of thing would you want to put in the article?

Day 23: How do you imagine your TC’s body to be like?

Day 24: What would you do if you found your TC blog which was devoted to you?

Day 25: Has anybody in your school (students or teachers) noticed any inappropriate or unusual behavior between the two of you?

Day 26: Has your TC ever said something to you to make you think they may like you?

Day 27: If teacher-student relationships were legalized, would you tell them how you felt?

Day 28: What do you imagine your TC doing right now?

Day 29: Do you ever see yourself dating somebody your own age? Why or why not?

Day 30: If your TC told you they were leaving, what would you do?

Day 31: Describe your perfect date with your TC?

[teachercrushadvice]

Taking questions!

anyone need advice about their TC? I’ve been there before and am happy to talk

[teachercrushadvice]

How are everyone’s holidays?

Does having a TC make holidays difficult? Do you have any questions or stories? Let’s get a discussion about holidays going and then I’ll write an advice post about TCs and the holidays!

[fires-inthe-dark]

Why is the tcc so inactive lately? I only know a few blogs that still post and all they do is reblog the same posts from years ago over and over. I know these kinds of posts are annoying but seriously, if you're an active tc blog, please like or reblog.

[replay-nostalgia]

THANK YOU

[replay-nostalgia]

I feel like the tcc is becoming depressed and unorganized

I’m coming to the conclusion that I feel like I’m going nowhere in this community. I’m one of the many minorities with having a female Tc and I don’t even see my tc ever. I don’t even go to the same school anymore!!!! I’m also sad to see a lot of you guys going, especially after messaging me for awhile, then I check and the blog is deactivated.

I’m also noticing a TON of depression with this Tc. You guys, please understand you met this person for a reason, to shape you and provide growth for you. You all are so hopeless, which I understand why completely, but in the end, everything IS in fact temporary. And for you all who do have hope with your Tc, you are taking advantage of that and giving in to that seduction before you’re graduated- thus more of you guys deactivating because you know you’re troubling your Tc.

I can see why the true crime may feel ‘bad’ for us. I don’t even want a Tc anymore, not because I don’t like her anymore, not because I’m doubting her feelings toward me, but because I’m just tired of keeping up with it. I just don’t care anymore. I love her to death, and I feel it reciprocated, but I’m not even seeing her. I see her maybe once a week IF I go to the trouble to drive to my old school for that only reason.

What I’m saying is, I don’t even keep up with the teacher crush community anymore because I can’t even find you guy’s posts with it all mingled with true crime. And when I go to the alternate tag, it’s just a ton of posts that are years old. I want to see fresh content and more of your interactions with your Tc’s!!! And as for my YouTube channel, I’m probably gonna discontinue that because it’s only viewable via link (although the whole point was to share my advice with just this community).

A lot of new tcers came in this 2016 year and I haven’t been following very many of you. And a lot of tcers from 2015 (when I joined) are gone and another reason I feel disconnected from this community. I will not be deactivating my account, nor will I stop posting, but I will be continuing to be quiet until I see a new redeemed teacher crush community.

Thank you all…

[teachercrushadvice]

thoughts?

[teachercrushadvice]

Whatever you’re freaking out about

whatever little detail or exchange you’re worried about, however you think you fucked up, stop. breathe. I can’t tell you how many times I was convinced TC didn’t like me or was offended by something I said and they weren’t. Connect to them on an intellectual level. Talk to them like you would anybody else. Don’t think they always have to help you with some problem.

You got this