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Currently on hiatus
I am not currently accepting new prompts as I am working through the ones I already have. If you have sent one, I will get to it, it will just take me a while while I am prioritizing my mental health. Thanks for your patience, both with any requests you’ve made and with my extended absence. <3
Azriel and Mor bond while visiting the Mortal Lands in search of answers.
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Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Fluff
Word Count: 4,428
Masterlist
“Azriel, are you listening?” Mor’s voice cut through Azriel’s daydream, drawing him back to the scene in front of him. He blinked, nodding at Mor before turning to whoever had been speaking. Lucien shot him an amused look across the table, turning back to Jurian as the other male explained something that Azriel immediately forgot.
He was seated at a dining table with Mor, Vassa, Jurian and Lucien in the Archeron’s old estate, attempting to finish a somewhat early dinner. Vassa and Jurian were bickering about some political ideology that Azriel had no interest in, which had led to him drifting off into more pleasant thoughts. Ones that involved a rather attractive priestess riding his thigh and making the most gorgeous sounds he’d ever heard in his life.
“Tell me, Shadowsinger,” Vassa suddenly addressed him, snapping his attention back to the table. He met the redheads sultry gaze, his own face schooled into an emotionless facade. “What has you looking so dreamy? Distract me. I’ve grown tired of our current entertainment.”
“You weren’t saying that last night,” Jurian muttered, snatching an apple from the table. Lucien rolled his eyes, giving Azriel a knowing look behind Vassa’s back.
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Azriel quietly responded. Vassa’s flirtatious behavior was slowly becoming expected when he visited the Mortal Lands. She seemed to enjoy flirting just for the sake of it. Unfortunately for her, he was only interested in flirting with one female - and she wasn’t present.
“Hmm, that’s too bad,” Vassa whined, pouting her full lips and ignoring Jurian’s dramatic eye roll. “I was hoping you might come play with me. I have a feeling you’re much more adventurous than the men I’m surrounded with.”
Azriel smirked, noting the slight flare of jealousy in Jurian’s eyes as the human male silently watched the proceedings. Lucien chugged his wine, seeming used to the game of cat and mouse his two friends were playing. Azriel leaned conspiratorially across the table toward Vassa, turning his eyes to the female while Mor hid a smile behind her wine glass.
His shadows kept a close watch on Jurian, making sure the male wasn’t going to leap across the table and attempt to throttle Azriel. Vassa went still, her breath becoming uneven as Azriel slowly shifted from cold and emotionless to warm and seductive. If she wanted to play games, he would play games.
“What did you have in mind?” He drawled, his smirk growing when her eyes darted over him appreciatively, then over to Jurian and back again. She leaned forward, lowering her voice as though they were the only two in the room.
“I was thinking something that might involve you and your shadows,” she whispered, the two of them ignoring the angry huff from Jurian down the table. “I’m sure they like to play as much as you do.”
“Mmm, you’re right, they do,” he purred with a sensual smile, holding her gaze for a long moment before abruptly sitting back in his chair, all traces of seduction instantly disappearing. “But, like their master, my shadows have very specific taste and I’m not sure I currently see anything that fits the description.”
Vassa blanched, smacking Jurian on the back of the head when he burst into laughter. Mor quietly giggled next to him, daintily picking at a piece of fruit in front of her. Lucien chuckled softly, taking a long sip of wine before pushing his plate away from him.
“And what exactly is that description?” Vassa shot at him, crossing her arms in frustration as Jurian continued to cackle. Azriel opened his mouth to respond, but, to his surprise, Lucien beat him to it.
“I believe Azriel, and his shadows, tend to prefer things with teal eyes, a generous amount of freckles, long legs and a decided love of knives and books,” Lucien mused, addressing Vassa but looking at Azriel in amusement. “Or something like that, I would think.”
“Yes, something like that,” Azriel agreed, flashing Lucien a genuine smile while Mor grinned in delight. Lucien returned the friendly look, then pushed back from the table, cutting Vassa off from whatever she was about to say.
“Well, I think it’s time I show Mor and Azriel the area they will be stationing their spies at,” Lucien announced, straightening his jacket before striding to the door. Azriel and Mor followed, saying quick goodbyes to Jurian and Vassa, who were already back to bickering, then rushing out the door.
Mor let out a dramatic sigh, bumping her shoulder with Azriel as Lucien led them outside and away from the estate grounds. “I thought that meal would never end,” she whined, tucking her thick cloak tighter around her body in the chill autumn air. “Are they always like that?”
Lucien glanced behind him, giving Mor an apologetic smile. “Yes, they are,” he said, heading toward a narrow, wooded path in front of him. “They like to constantly be at odds for some reason. I don’t mind it most of the time, but it can be exhausting.”
Azriel chuckled, stepping behind Mor as they entered the wooded area. He had seen this area on the maps Lucien had presented to him, and when he had flown over for an initial inspection, but this was the first time he had walked the area his spies would be stationed. Tonight, once darkness set in, they would begin monitoring the area for the suspicious activity Lucien had noted.
“So, are you ever going to tell us who you suspect?” Azriel bluntly asked. Lucien had been oddly secretive about it, but Azriel could tell the other male knew something. His shadows darted out in front of them, scanning the forest as they walked.
Lucien paused underneath a small, shaded clearing and turned to Azriel and Mor. Lucien fell silent, seeming to contemplate how much he was willing to reveal.
“Before I tell you anything, I need to know something, and I am trusting Morrigan to confirm the truth of it,” Lucien said, staring at Azriel with a hardness he rarely demonstrated. Azriel silently nodded for Lucien to go on, tensing at his sudden change of mood. “I don’t need, nor do I want, details, but I need to know if you still have any involvement with Elain. And please don’t lie to me. I’m not blind.”
Azriel blinked, confused by the course of the conversation. He knew Lucien was aware of his idiotic infatuation with his mate, but he thought that was in the past. “I’m not involved with her. It’s in the past, but I’ve told you that already.”
Lucien held his gaze, then looked to Mor. She nodded in confirmation, her eyes darting between the two males. At her nod, Lucien’s shoulders sagged and he let out a long breath, uncharacteristically ruffled.
“Good, that makes this easier,” Lucien said, turning his attention back to Azriel. “I’m sorry for being so blunt. I know we have discussed this before, but I had to be absolutely certain we were on the same page. This could deeply affect her, if my suspicions are correct.”
“What do you mean?” Azriel pressed when Lucien went quiet, anxiously wringing his hands. All the defensiveness faded, centuries of spy training kicking in.
“Well, as I told you before, we suspect foul play,” Lucien began, his voice hushed in the quiet woods. “At first, the mortals in the area seemed receptive to the idea of building bridges with us, but now, they seem to be echoing the same antagonistic arguments that the Mortal Queens keep spreading. The louder ones, the ones with power, it’s like they’re mindless. And the rest…well, they seem too scared to go against them.”
“That sounds like what’s happening in Vallahan,” Mor muttered, glancing at Azriel with a frown. “Treaty negotiations had improved, then I left for a few days and everything fell apart again. I can’t even get an invite with any of the lords there now.”
“Yes, that’s exactly how it happened here as well,” Lucien agreed, his hands fidgeting in agitation. “We had been on the verge of drafting a new treaty, then the conflict with Nesta and Briallyn happened, and I was away for a few days and everything went to hell. Jurian even said…”
Lucien fell quiet, his fingers absently reaching toward the scar on his face. Azriel’s senses heightened, a tight coil of dread building in his stomach.
“What did Jurian say?” Azriel pushed, hands fisted at his side. Lucien looked at him, his lips spread in a thin line, eyes filled with sadness.
“He said it reminded him of what happened with Amarantha,” Lucien finally explained with a frown. “That it was like some of the mortals had stopped thinking for themselves. Vassa confirmed it, and I saw as much when I came back after visiting Velaris.”
Azriel let out a long breath, his eyes shuttering for a moment before he forced himself to face Lucien again. Mor was utterly still beside him, fear obvious on her face.
“What does this have to do with needing spies here?” Azriel asked, his voice hollow. After a short moment, he added. “And Elain? What does it have to do with her?”
“Take a guess which mortal family doesn’t seem to have lost all ability to think on their own,” Lucien sneered, his eyes filling with fire.
“Graysen?” Azriel replied, rolling his shoulders back in frustration. Of course, it would be that bastard. No matter what had happened between him and Elain, Graysen was still a piece of shit.
“That’s the one,” Lucien dryly remarked. “That’s why we relocated to this estate a few months ago. We no longer felt it was safe in the place Graysen’s family had gifted Jurian and Vassa. He and his family have almost entirely shut off communication with us. Their reasoning is that we can’t be trusted.”
“And they can be trusted?” Mor gaped, her red lips twisting into a sneer. “What an asshole.”
Lucien chuckled, but his face remained hard. “Yes, he is,” he nodded, pacing through the small circle. “Since then, I’ve tried to keep tabs on him and I have found him sneaking out regularly. He goes to meet various people, some of which are human, but some…one or two seem to be fae. Although, I haven’t been able to find out for sure because I haven’t been able to get close enough.”
Azriel frowned. “Why would he be meeting with fae? He hates them.”
“Yes, but…they could be offering him something,” Lucien confirmed with a nod. “But…the one time I was able to get close enough to see anything substantial, Graysen had a cloak on that wasn’t his. It had a small crest. When I described it to Vassa, she confirmed that it was the crest of the Mortal Queens.”
“Are you suggesting Graysen is working with them?” Mor whispered fearfully, her face pale. Azriel placed a hand on her back, offering support.
“Yes,” Lucien replied, his brow furrowing. “Or at least, I think it’s highly likely. His behavior is very similar to Beron’s, which is part of the reason Eris has begun visiting so much. I can’t figure out on my own what Graysen is up to, so I am asking for your help.”
Azriel met Lucien’s pleading stare, a muscle in his jaw working as he considered all that he had just learned. If Graysen was indeed working with the Mortal Queens, it was just one more layer to the complicated web that had developed across the sea. If they didn’t start cutting off some of the threads, they would all be caught before they stood a chance at fighting whatever power was toying with them.
“You’ve been keeping secrets, Lucien,” Azriel murmured, watching as Lucien’s shoulders stiffened, his metal eye seeming to look right through Azriel to his very core.
“You’ve kept secrets too, Shadowsinger,” Lucien replied smoothly, not a hint of intimidation in his tone. Good. Azriel didn’t like working with anyone who was quick to back down or who scared easily.
“Fair enough,” Azriel chuckled. “Of course we’ll help you. That’s why we’re here. Besides, I made a promise to be friends with you. I wouldn’t like to see the consequences of breaking that promise.”
Lucien relaxed, a small smile crossing his face even while he looked at Azriel in confusion. Mor mirrored Lucien’s expression, turning to Azriel with one eyebrow raised.
“Gwyn,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. Lucien grinned while Mor slowly relaxed next to Azriel, the mood gradually shifting back to normal again. “Is that everything then?”
“Yes, that’s all I know,” Lucien confirmed, glancing back toward the path. “Eris is supposed to meet me at the house soon. Would you like to join us, or would you prefer to continue checking the perimeter we’ve set for your spies?”
Azriel glanced at Mor, who had once again stiffened beside him, then back at Lucien. “We’ll keep walking, if you don’t mind. It might be best if we save a visit with Eris until next time.”
“I agree,” Lucien smiled, his eyes darting to Mor. “You know the trails, so I’ll leave you to it.”
Lucien waved them off, heading in the opposite direction as Azriel and Mor set off farther down the trail. Mor remained quiet for a while, no doubt lost in thought, but eventually she broke the silence, her mood seeming to relax some.
“So, why was Lucien asking you about Elain?” She asked, matching his slow stride. He sighed, knowing there was no way out of this.
He slowly explained everything, telling her what he had told Gwyn a few weeks ago. That he had been involved with Elain, but only to the point of an almost kiss and that was it. He assured her it was in the past, and promised that Gwyn knew everything as well. By the time he had finished, Mor seemed satisfied with his explanation, yet there was something he felt like he was forgetting. Something that was slipping his mind, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.
“Is that everything?” Mor asked when he paused, her normal happy demeanor finally returned.
“Yes, I think so,” he said, frowning slightly. “Although, I have the strangest feeling that I’m forgetting something, only I don’t know what it could be.”
“You’ll think of it eventually,” Mor chirped, her blond hair bouncing as she followed him along the trail. “As long as Gwyn knows everything, then I’m sure it’s fine.”
“Yes, she does,” he assured her, ignoring that nagging feeling. He had told Gwyn everything, hadn’t he?
Mor looked up at him, studying his face before saying, “This might sound harsh, but I’m glad it didn’t work out with Elain.”
“Oh, why?” He chuckled. He was in agreement, but he wanted to know her reasoning.
“Because you aren’t right for each other, anyone could see that,” Mor said matter-of-factly. “You and Gwyn…you’re perfect together.”
He smiled, his shadows dancing excitedly around him at the mention of Gwyn. Even with Mor present, who they normally retreated around to give her space, his shadows couldn’t hide their happiness at the thought of their favorite priestess. Neither could he, for that matter.
“Thank you. She’s…incredible,” Azriel quietly said, a small blush creeping up his neck. He coughed, attempting to clear his throat from the rush of emotions he felt. “You and Emerie are great together too. Are you two doing well?”
“Um, actually, we just had our first fight recently,” Mor admitted shyly, tucking her hands into her cloak. He frowned, unsure if he should question her or not. Their new dynamic was still so fresh, he didn’t want to risk ruining it. Before he could decide, Mor went on.
“Are you and Gwyn serious?” She blurted, her normally perfect complexion going bright red with a blush. “About each other, I mean. Are you two serious about your relationship?”
Azriel slowly nodded, confused. “Yes, of course we’re serious,” he affirmed, studying Mor’s profile. “What else would we be?”
“I don’t know, you could be more casual,” Mor shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “I mean, how do you know you’re serious? Have you talked about it?”
“We don’t need to,” he shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Gwyn’s not really the type for casual relationships, and I wouldn’t want to be casual with her. I know I want to be with her for as long as she wants me.”
He trailed off, falling silent as he realized that was the first time he had admitted anything like that out loud. He felt a small pang of fear as his feelings slowly sunk in. Was it too soon to feel that much for Gwyn? Would she pull away if he told her that? He didn’t get time to think about it because Mor once again broke the silence.
“You sound so sure,” Mor murmured, sounding oddly nervous. “I wish I could say something like that without being so scared.”
He stopped mid step, forcing Mor to come to a halt in the middle of the trail as he stared at her. Her face was filled with sadness, something he rarely saw in her. He bit his lip, his jaw working as he tried to figure out how to address this.
“Mor, what happened? What’s making you so scared?” He tentatively asked, worried he might say the wrong thing. “You seem head-over-heels for Emerie. I don’t understand what happened.”
“I am head-over-heels for Emerie,” Mor quietly reassured him. “But…the other day, we were at Rita’s talking to some of my friends and someone asked us about our relationship. I said we were keeping it casual. It just slipped out, I don’t know why. But Emerie got upset about it.”
He ran his hand through his hair, hoping she would explain more. After a moment, to his relief, she did.
“She was hurt that I had said we were casual because she thought we were serious,” Mor whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. “And she’s right, we are. But for some reason, I was scared to say that, even to her. She’s had to deal with so much bullshit because of our relationship, yet I’m too cowardly to say that we’re serious. I’m just scared. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m scared.”
Tears were now fully falling down her face, her arms wrapped around herself as she confessed to him. He felt sick to his stomach, the full weight of how much she had carried with her for so long hitting him. He had played a role in it too, which made it all that much more painful. He was trying to be a better male, but he had failed the one person he owed the most. That ended now.
“Mor, you’re not a coward,” he firmly stated, hesitantly pulling her toward him. She willingly leaned into his touch, allowing him to wrap her in a tight hug. “You are doing your best to figure this out. That’s all you can do. You have every reason to be scared. You just need to tell her that.”
“I haven’t even told my parents about us,” Mor sobbed into his chest, her voice breaking. It felt strange, holding her like this, yet he was glad he could be here for her in some way. “I’ve only told my friends at Rita’s, and the Inner Circle. That’s it.”
“You don’t owe your family an explanation, Mor,” he assured her, lightly stroking her back. “You should only have to tell the people you want to tell. You don’t owe anyone anything.”
“But I want Emerie to know how much she means to me,” Mor whispered, clinging to his leathers. “I don’t want her to think I’m hiding her or that I’m ashamed of her.”
He gently pulled her head back and met her tear-stained gaze. “Then tell her that,” he stated, a muscle in his jaw working furiously. “If anyone else asks, just tell them that you’re in love with the most incredible female and that you don’t give a shit what they think. And if anyone even thinks about attacking you for that, then tell me and it will be the last thing they ever say. All right?”
“Okay,” she slowly nodded, clutching the edge of her cloak. “But…why are you so willing to…to help me? You’ve handled all of this so well. And…I don’t understand why. Honestly, I…I thought you might pull away from me after you found out.”
He swallowed, praying he could find the words to explain how stupid he’d been. “Because I realized that I had been the worst friend to you, and that matters more than anything I felt in the past,” he quietly said. “You’re my family and I love you. It’s different now, or, maybe it always was, but I love you. You deserve to be happy, and I want to help in any way I can. I hurt you and I made you feel unsafe” - he held up a finger when she tried to interrupt - “I did, and I want to fix it. I want to be here for you, the same way you’ve always been there for me. I’m sorry for not being there sooner.”
She stared at him for several moments, blinking tears away, but then she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He almost fell backward from the force of it, but he recovered and slowly hugged her back, waiting until she pulled away to let go.
“Thank you, Azriel,” Mor smiled, brushing away the last of her tears. “I love you too. I’m glad we can just be us now. I want you to be happy as well.”
“I’m glad we can just be us now too,” he gave her a rare grin, rubbing her arm affectionately. “Come on, we should keep walking.”
She nodded, looping her arm through his and beginning to walk down the trail again. If anyone had told him a few centuries ago, or even a year ago, that he would be walking with Mor on his arm and neither one of them would feel any awkwardness or that he wouldn’t feel anything besides brotherly affection, he wouldn’t have believed it. But he was grateful it had happened. He had spent far too long making them both miserable, too blind to see the truth. Finally, they could both move forward and find happiness.
His shadows once again darted in front of them, searching the area as they slowly walked through the woods. Mor leaned against his arm, quiet for a while before she broke the silence, never one to stay quiet for long.
“Azriel, I know I don’t owe them anything, but would you come with me when I tell my parents?” She hesitantly asked. “I want to tell them, but I don’t want it to be a big event. They’ve always made me parade in front of their courtiers for everything, but this time…I want to do it on my terms. It would only be a short trip, just long enough to say what I want to say and then leave, but…I’d like the support, if you’re willing.”
“Of course, I’ll come with you whenever you’re ready,” he promised, knowing he would need to let Gwyn know. Hell, Gwyn might want to join him if he told her why he was going to the Hewn City. “But I think you should talk to Emerie first, before you do anything.”
She softly laughed. “I will,” she assured him, squeezing his arm. “I’ll talk to her when we get back. She said she was fine, but I know it’s still bothering her. I’ll tell her about the Hewn City as well, she’ll probably want to come with us.”
He chuckled. “Probably. I’m sure Gwyn will too, whether I want her to or not.”
Mor playfully poked him in the ribs, laughing as she did so. “You’re awfully relaxed about taking Gwyn to the Court of Nightmares. I figured you would never let Gwyn go.”
“I don’t want her to go, but I know there’s no point arguing about it,” he shrugged, blushing slightly. The darkness had settled around them, the time passing quicker than he had realized. “And I’m not relaxed about it, I just…have a different perspective. That’s all.”
“Mmm, I’m sure I have a certain priestess to thank for that,” Mor said knowingly, tugging her cloak tighter when a breeze picked up. “Hey, that reminds me, your birthday is coming up.”
“Yeah, so?” He shrugged. He usually avoided bringing attention to himself, so birthdays were the opposite of his favorite thing.
“Sooo, I want to plan a party for you this year,” she chirped, practically bouncing in excitement.
He groaned. “Why? You planned a party a few years ago.”
She rolled her eyes, accustomed to his reluctance. “Birthdays happen every year, Az. I just want to do something special. Please let me. I know you don’t like big parties, so I promise I’ll keep it small.”
He sighed, knowing this was a losing battle. “If you can convince Gwyn, then go ahead.”
“Yay! Thank you,” Mor excitedly clapped. She knew as well as he did that Gwyn wouldn’t resist her on this, not as long as Mor kept the party intimate. Gwyn was far too sweet to holdout for long, especially when it came to people she cared about, which meant it was as good as settled.
Another strong breeze pushed past them, bringing a new wave of cold air. Above them storm clouds were brewing, darkening the sky further. Azriel stopped in the middle of the trail, gently turning Mor around to face back toward the estate.
“Come on, it’s going to rain,” he told her, urging her forward with a tug of his arm. “I don’t want to be stuck out here when it’s downpouring, if we can avoid it.”
“I agree,” Mor enthusiastically nodded, picking up her pace to match his. “I’m also craving something sweet since we skipped dessert, so I’m more than ready to go back to the estate, even if I have to listen to Jurian and Vassa bicker.”
He laughed, throwing his head back and letting himself just breathe in the moment. He was missing Gwyn like crazy, but he was happy. Happier than he had ever expected. He had the most amazing female waiting for him at home, and one of his dearest friends walking by his side. What could possibly go wrong?
Gwyn and Azriel spend New Year’s Eve unexpectedly snowed in.
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Fluff with the slightest bit of steam....to frost the windowpanes.
Word Count: 731
Masterlist
“Azriel, I told you we should have left earlier,” Gwyn chastised her boyfriend, frowning at the growing piles of snow outside. There was no way they would make it home before the New Year’s Eve party tonight with this weather.
“And I told you that it wouldn’t hurt to stay one more night,” Azriel chuckled, leaning one arm casually against the edge of the window frame. The black knit sweater he wore stretched across his biceps, making Gwyn’s mouth go dry.
She shook her head, banishing the images of Azriel stripping that very same black sweater off of her last night. She didn’t need to be distracted by him right now - not when they were clearly going to be snowed in at this rate.
The snow had been falling all day, but Azriel had kept her busy all morning by repeatedly dragging her back to bed. By the time she had finally decided they needed to leave, or they’d miss Nesta and Cassian’s New Year’s bash, the snow had already begun to pile up.
“Az, we should have left this morning,” Gwyn said again, ignoring his smirk as she stared out the window with worry. “I don’t know why you insisted on staying in bed all day.”
“Because Rhys let us use this cabin so we could spend time alone, since we’ve both been busy all month,” Azriel said simply, pushing off the wall and striding toward the door. “I can’t help it that I missed spending time with you, Gwyneth.”
“Well…when you put it like that,” she huffed, turning away from the window to find him taking off his snow boots. “What are you doing? Az, we’re leaving!”
He shook his head with a chuckle but continued to take off his shoes. “No, we’re not,” he countered, straightening up and stripping off his sweater, leaving him in nothing but his jeans. “The snow is too high. We can let Nesta and everyone else know we’ll be home tomorrow.”
She gaped, caught off guard by the sight of his sculpted chest as he casually sunk onto the sofa, legs spread invitingly as he smirked at her. She felt heat spread between her legs, but she grabbed a nearby throw pillow and tossed it at him to distract herself. He caught it effortlessly, dropping it on the floor before motioning for her to come to him.
“I am not coming over there,” she protested, although she was already unbuttoning her jacket. “I know what will happen if I do, and we are not doing that. We need to go.”
“For someone who doesn’t want to do that, you’re stripping awfully fast, Berdara,” Azriel laughed, watching her shrug off her jacket and quickly take off her own boots. She stuck out her tongue at him, but the expression did little to contradict her actions. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not safe to drive in this storm, and you know it.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to look so smug about it,” Gwyn argued, still refusing to admit defeat even as she stripped off her pants and sweater, leaving her in a simple pair of bra and panties. She straddled him on the sofa, sighing as he tugged her onto his lap and nestled her against his firm, warm body.
“I’m not smug about the weather,” Azriel insisted, gently stroking his hands along her back. She shivered at the touch, already giving in to his plans for their New Year’s Eve. “I’m smug because I get to spend the night making love to the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, who I happen to love very, very much. So why shouldn’t I be a little smug?”
She slowly smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck as he toyed with the clasp of her bra. “You know, for someone who doesn’t like talking that much, you seem to have a way with words,” she teased him, giving him a chaste kiss. “I love you too.”
He grinned. “Good, or else this would be very awkward,” he murmured, brushing his lips across hers. She smiled, laughing when he suddenly scooped her up and carried her to the bed. “I love you, Gwyn. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year,” she whispered, pulling him into a searing kiss, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they welcomed the new year wrapped in each other’s arms.
Elide and Lorcan ring in the new year with a long-awaited kiss.
Note: This drabble was written for a dear friend. Enjoy!
Also, I am not using a tag list for this because I don’t normally write for TOG.
Read on AO3
Elide x Lorcan
Warnings: Pure fluff
Word Count: 877
Masterlist
“He still hasn’t done anything yet,” Elide grumbled, sinking onto the sofa next to her best friend. She refused to look behind her, knowing that she’d see Lorcan staring at her. “He hates me.”
“He does not hate you,” Aelin, her childhood best friend, said with a reassuring squeeze of her hand. “He’s been your friend for years. He’s probably just nervous. You said yourself that you’ve barely talked since Mexico.”
Elide sighed, sagging into the pillows in defeat. Aelin was right, but it didn’t make her feel any better. They were at Aelin and Rowan’s house for a New Year’s Eve, and the party was in full swing. It should have been fun, but Elide was too busy worrying about the tall, handsome man brooding in the corner who she happened to be in love with.
She had been friends with Lorcan since college, ever since Aelin had met Rowan, but through the years, she had grown to have deeper feelings for him. Feelings that she had thought were one-sided until a drunken night in Mexico over Thanksgiving weekend. They had gone on the vacation with their group of friends, but they had ended up alone on the beach one night, both drunk from too much Tequila. And then it had happened. Lorcan had kissed her.
It had been perfect, but now it felt like a dream. The holiday season had been so busy that she had barely seen Lorcan since that weekend, and when she had seen him, he hadn’t done anything. They hadn’t even broached the subject of the kiss, let alone what it meant for them. But she knew, even if she was doubting it now, that it had meant something.
“I’m going to go outside for a minute,” Elide announced, standing from her spot on the sofa. “I’m too hot in here.”
She strode off without giving time for Aelin to argue, not bothering to get her coat before she snuck outside. She stepped onto the snowy patio in the back of the house, hugging herself for warmth. It was freezing, the air seeping through the thin layers of her blue party dress. But it was better than having to ring in the new year alone on the sofa, wishing Lorcan was with her.
She stood under the center of the arched roof that covered most of the patio, taking in the view of the gardens as the clock moved toward midnight. The night was clear, stars glittering above as her breath clouded in front of her.
When she heard the door open from behind, she didn’t turn, assuming it was only Aelin. But when a warm coat was gently placed over her shoulders, too big to be her own, she finally turned, coming face to face with the man she’d been thinking about all night.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” Lorcan grumbled, his lips in a thin line as he towered above her. “You’re going to freeze to death.”
She blinked, about to shrug off his comments, but a wave of frustration overtook her. “Well, who’s fault would that be?” She shot at him, words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. “If you had just talked to me, or done something, I wouldn’t be freezing my ass off -”
Her words were interrupted by a mouth crashing into hers, Lorcan’s lips claiming her so forcefully she had no choice but to cling to him to stay upright. Her resistance instantly faded, her body going pliant as his tongue teased her mouth open, the hunger in his kiss making her tremble. She let out a contented sigh against him, gripping his sweater while he pulled her closer, one hand around her waist while the other angled her neck.
They broke apart with a gasp, but Lorcan still held her, their chests pressed together as she met his gaze. “I didn’t think you’d want me to do anything,” Lorcan whispered, his voice uncharacteristically soft, careful almost. “I thought you wanted to forget what had happened.”
“Why would I want that?” She murmured, trying not to shiver at the honesty and hunger in his eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I…I wanted more.”
Her confession hung between them, and she worried he might pull away, but his lips suddenly spread into a smile. “So do I,” Lorcan grinned, leaning down so his forehead was against hers. “I guess I should have listened to Rowan.”
Elide blinked, pushing back slightly. “What do you mean?”
“He told me I should just kiss you again and see if you still liked it,” Lorcan explained, his handsome face filled with joy. “I guess he was right.”
“Maybe, but you’re early,” she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “It’s not midnight yet.”
“Hmmm,” he smiled, brushing his lips against her jaw. “I guess I’ll just have to kiss you until then, to remedy my mistake, won’t I?”
She had barely managed a small nod before his lips were on hers again, following through on his promise as he kissed her until they were both breathless. The clock struck midnight at some point, welcoming a new year, but they were still lost in each other, their midnight wishes already coming true.
Gwyn seeks advice from Nesta and Emerie as her relationship with Azriel progresses.
IMPORTANT NOTE: First, thank you for your patience with this update. I know it’s been a while, but I am happy to be updating again. Going forward, I don’t know how often I will update, so it might be a while, but I will do my best.
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Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Fluff
Word Count: 4,050
Masterlist
Gwyn woke to the sound of quiet movement near her, the familiar scent of cedar and night-chilled mist filling her senses as she remembered where she was. She kept her eyes closed for several moments, listening to the sounds of Azriel moving around the room while she reveled in the memory of last night.
She still couldn’t believe it was real. It had gone so much better than she had hoped. It felt like a dream, an impossibly perfect dream. Yet, the fact that she was in Azriel’s bed half-naked was proof of the previous night’s activities. It was real; she had finally taken the next step with Azriel. The thought filled her with the most blissful happiness she had ever experienced.
She rolled onto her back, stretching her arms with a lazy smile as she opened her eyes. She looked around her, shimming to lean against the pillows and pulling the sheet up to cover her chest. Azriel met her gaze with a slow grin, grabbing Truth-Teller from his desk before striding back to the bed.
He was already dressed in his leathers despite it being a day with no required training. She wasn’t surprised though. He was supposed to visit the Mortal Realms with Mor for a couple days to finish setting up the patrols he had been planning, as well as to check-in with Lucien. She wished she could go with him, but they had agreed she could go the next time – once things were set in place.
“Good morning,” Azriel drawled, sitting on the edge of the bed and tenderly kissing her cheek. She blushed, clutching the sheet to her as she remembered everything they had done last night. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, perfectly,” she replied, goosebumps spreading across her skin when Azriel began gently stroking his fingers along her bare shoulder. He chewed on his bottom lip, his hazel eyes sparkling. She was certain he was remembering their explorations from the previous night as well, which only deepened her blush.
“You should have woken me up,” she chided, trying to distract herself from the pleasant warmth spreading through her. “You know I wanted to say goodbye before you left.”
He met her eyes, his fingers still gliding smoothly across her skin. “I was going to wake you up in a few minutes,” he assured her with a crooked smile. “But you looked so peaceful, so I didn’t want to wake you any sooner than I had to.”
She let out a soft “Oh,” her grip on the sheet loosening as he continued staring at her. Despite her inexperience, she could read his gaze - it was filled with nothing short of outright hunger. And now that she knew the kind of pleasure she could find with him, every inch of her ached to pull him down onto the bed and see what other ways he could bring her to that blissful edge.
Yet, there was a small sliver of hesitation, one she wasn’t sure she was ready to discuss with him yet. She averted her gaze, forcing herself to ignore her insecurities. She would figure out her worries later, for now, she just wanted to enjoy being with him.
“What are your plans for the day?” Azriel asked, his gaze softening. She breathed a sigh of relief. His desire wasn’t what had made her nervous, but she was grateful for the change of topic regardless. Now that they were moving forward, she needed to deal with her fears. And today was a good opportunity for that.
“I’m supposed to go shopping with Emerie and Nesta,” she said, smiling at his shadows as they playfully twirled around her arms. “It was Nesta’s idea, since Cassian is busy today too.”
He hummed quietly, playing with a lock of her hair. “That sounds fun,” he smiled, then added. “Will you be all right though?”
She nodded, catching his meaning. This would be the first time she ventured into the city without him, something she had considered before agreeing to the shopping trip. She would be with her sisters; if something made her anxious, she knew they would understand.
“I’ll be fine,” she reassured him, smoothing the small crease above his brow. “I’m ready to try going out more. I think this will be good for me.”
His fingers brushed along her jaw, gently cupping her face. “Okay, as long as you’re sure. If you need anything, Cassian won’t be too far away, so Nesta can always call him.”
“I know,” she laughed, twining her fingers with his and pulling his hand down to her lap. “Nesta insisted on that already. She made me promise I would tell her if I felt uneasy today. She’s as overprotective as you.”
He chuckled. “We care about you. That’s all,” he said, placing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “I hope you have a good time, but I’ll miss you while I’m gone.”
“I’ll miss you too,” she agreed, absently stroking his hand with her thumb. “But you’ll be back in a few days, right?”
“Yes, I should return tomorrow night, but it might be really late,” he explained, brow furrowing. “I’m not sure if I’ll be back before you go to bed, so please don’t wait up. You should get some rest.”
She grinned, leaning up to kiss him softly. “I’ll try, but you don’t need to worry so much, Azriel.”
“I know, but I can’t help myself,” he replied, chuckling quietly. “I should probably go. I’m supposed to meet with Rhys before I leave with Mor.”
She smiled in encouragement, turning her face up in anticipation. He smiled at her eagerness, claiming her mouth tenderly, his hands twining in her hair as their lips moved easily together. She could get lost in his kiss, the sensation of his mouth on hers instantly calming her no matter what she was feeling.
He deepened the kiss for a short moment - too short for her liking - then he pulled away with a quiet groan, leaning his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, savoring his touch before he had to leave. All too soon, he released her, slowly standing up and checking his weapons one last time.
She watched him silently, already missing his warmth. He smiled at her, then headed for the door, pausing only a few steps away before turning back to her.
“Gwyn?”
“Hmm?”
“Um, if you decide to visit that store in Velaris again…” he trailed off, rubbing his neck nervously. She held back a grin, amused by his flustered behavior. “You know, the one with the, uh, underthings?”
“Yes, I know which one you’re talking about,” she giggled, not sure where he was going with this.
“Well, if you go back, there’s an account open for you,” he confessed, meeting her stare anxiously. “I opened it a while ago, just in case you ever went back. You don’t have to, of course, but if you wanted to, then it’s under your name.”
He finally paused, his chest heaving with shaking breaths. She felt a flush creeping up her neck at the thought of the lingerie store he was referring to, but she ignored it, focusing on him instead. She had wanted to go back to that store, but she had never expected Azriel to do something like this for her. It felt so…intimate. He would know if she bought anything, but she would control if he saw her purchases or not.
“Az, thank you. I…you didn’t have to do that,” she said, oddly emotional at his thoughtful gesture. He smiled softly, a flush to match her own coloring his cheeks. Was he imaging how she might look in whatever she bought? The thought made her shiver.
“I know I didn’t have to,” he assured her, his shadows dancing between them. “But I wanted to. Even if I don’t see any of the items you buy, I…I just wanted you to be able to go back whenever you wanted. I liked how happy you were that day.”
He averted his eyes, staring at the floor as his voice grew quieter. It wasn’t often he admitted his emotions so easily, but it always made her heart ache when he did. She gathered the large sheet around her, clutching it to her chest as she hopped off the bed and strode toward him, the sheet trailing behind her.
“Thank you, Azriel,” she whispered, not giving him a chance to respond before pulling him down into a searing kiss. His arms wrapped around her, one hand gripping her backside while the other cradled her neck, tilting her head until he found the angle he wanted.
She let him kiss her for as long as he wanted, opening for him and savoring every second. The sheet slowly fell to the ground, leaving her bare for him, her sensitive nipples peaking at the feeling of his leathers against her skin. But she still didn’t pull away, instead pressing closer to him, showing him with her body how much he meant to her. How much she wanted him.
When he finally pulled away, they were both flustered and breathless. He quickly grabbed the sheet from where she had dropped it, carefully wrapping her up in it and saying goodbye before disappearing through the door. Despite already wishing he would come back, she was grateful he had left so quickly. If he had stayed, she was certain they would have wound up back in bed.
She stood in the middle of the room for several minutes, catching her breath and reeling from his kiss. She slowly got ready for the day, taking her time soaking in his large bathtub, having left some of her personal items in his bedroom the day before. By the time she left his room and set out to find Nesta and Emerie in the house, she realized that she desperately needed to talk to her sisters. There were fears she still hadn’t faced, and Azriel needed to know, especially if they were going to keep exploring like they had last night.
*******************************************
Several hours and countless shopping bags later, mostly courtesy of Nesta, Gwyn found herself in a small cafe somewhere in the middle of Velaris. She plopped down into the nearest chair with a dramatic sigh, laughing when Emerie leaned her head on the table and groaned.
“Oh hush, you two are having fun and you know it,” Nesta teased, sitting next to Gwyn and poking Emerie, who slowly lifted her head and gave a vulgar gesture to Nesta. “There’s only a few more shops I think we should visit, including a bookstore, and then we can call it a day.”
“Fine, but next time…we’re bringing Cassian or Azriel or anyone with bigger arms than me,” Emerie decided, earning a round of giggles from Gwyn and Nesta. A moment later, a waiter appeared and took their orders, then disappeared into the back.
Gwyn fell quiet, listening to her two friends chatter, but she noticed Nesta shoot Emerie a glance a few minutes later. Before she could ask what the two of them were silently thinking, the waiter brought their food and drinks, forcing them to pause the conversation.
They fell into a comfortable silence, all of them too hungry from their busy day to focus on anything other than their food. When they were finished eating and were quietly sipping on their drinks, Nesta looked at Emerie again. Only, this time, the two of them immediately turned toward Gwyn.
She blanched, looking between them in confusion. “What? Is something wrong?”
Emerie shrugged, glancing at Nesta. “You tell us, Gwyn.”
“What do you mean?” Gwyn asked, utterly confused.
“Gwyn, you’ve been rather quiet today,” Nesta noted, putting a hand over Gwyn’s where it rested on the table. “Are you okay? Is everything all right with Azriel?”
“Yes, of course, things are great,” she insisted, not quite understanding why Nesta would ask her that. “Why would you…ohhhhhh.”
She suddenly understood why her silence had worried them so much. They knew she had been planning something with Azriel, they just didn’t know when, and she hadn’t told them how things had gone yet. No wonder they were both looking at her like they were waiting for her to burst into tears.
She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed. Nesta gently pried her hands away, holding them on the table while Emerie reached across the table to squeeze her arm. She took a deep breath, knowing she needed to talk to them now or she never would.
“Nesta, Em, you don’t need to worry,” she promised quietly, blushing fiercely. “Everything with Azriel is perfect. That’s not why I was quiet.”
“Then did something else happen?” Nesta pressed, looking to Emerie for backup. “We were worried because you hadn’t told us what happened with your plans. It’s not like you to be this reserved.”
Emerie nodded in agreement, patiently waiting for Gwyn to explain. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, mulling over her words.
“Our plans worked out well. It was lovely,” Gwyn finally said, clinging to Nesta’s hands for support. “Perfect, really. And that’s the problem. I’m worried about what happens now.”
“What do you mean?” Emerie asked, forehead creasing with concern. “Azriel seems patient, surely he wouldn’t push you into something you’re not okay with. Would he?”
“No, never,” she assured her friend, shaking her head vigorously. “It’s just…” – she shot a furtive glance around the room, then dropped her voice – “I want more, but…I know the types of things that typically happen now involve…penetration of some sort. And it scares me. I don’t want to panic when I’m with him.”
Her voice had become impossibly quiet, embarrassment flooding her. This shouldn’t be so hard. She just wanted to be with Azriel, but every single step they took forward felt like a giant leap that Gwyn couldn’t help but fret about. She just wanted to stop overthinking for once, to let go – like she had last night.
“Oh, honey, it doesn’t have to be that way if you don’t want it to,” Emerie soothed her, leaning forward to stroke her arm in a calming pattern. “And I’m sure he would never make you feel bad if you did get scared while you’re with him.”
“Emerie’s right,” Nesta reassured her, moving one arm to stroke Gwyn’s back. “Azriel would understand. And things don’t necessarily have to involve any kind of penetration. Azriel should know plenty of other ways to make you orgasm.”
Gwyn gaped at Nesta, her blush deepening as she glanced around the cafe again. “Hush, there are other people here,” she whispered, not used to being as open about sex as Nesta was. Emerie giggled, but Nesta just shrugged.
“Sex is a perfectly normal thing to discuss, Gwyn,” Nesta smiled, tugging at her braid. Gwyn rolled her eyes, but laughed, relaxing slightly. “But seriously, if you don’t want to take things in that direction, then you don’t have to.”
“I know, but…” Gwyn sighed, frustrated with herself.
“But what?” Emerie prodded when Gwyn fell silent. Nesta raised an eyebrow in question, silently waiting for Gwyn to continue.
“I want to,” she admitted in a soft whisper, her stomach in knots. Emerie and Nesta watched her steadily, waiting for her to elaborate. “I want to take the next steps with Azriel. I want to…let him do those types of things to me. I’m just scared. I haven’t even been able to…to pleasure myself like that.”
Shame and embarrassment roiled inside of her, making her feel sick to her stomach. Nesta took her hands again as Emerie came around the table and firmly hugged her, holding her for a long moment before returning to her seat. Nesta stroked her back with her free hand, tugging Gwyn closer. She leaned into her friends’ touch, needing the support.
“Gwyn, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel embarrassed talking to us,” Emerie finally said, her voice soft. Gwyn met her gaze, her face flushed. “This is what we’re here for. We’re your sisters.”
“I just don’t know how to tell him,” Gwyn choked out, worried she might start crying any moment. “I don’t even know how to tell him what I want, let alone explaining that I’m scared of some of the things I want.”
Nesta sighed, brushing back a stray lock of Gwyn’s hair. “I think you should sit down and tell him what you’ve told us. That would at least be a start.”
Gwyn nodded, knowing her friends were right. The best way to explain to Azriel how she felt was to be blunt about it. There was no use tiptoeing around it, especially now that things had become more heated when they were together.
“How do I explain what I want him to do though?” Gwyn questioned, unsure she understood her own desires. She was so new to this; she constantly felt silly trying to explain things. “He sometimes asks me, like last night, and I barely know how to answer. I need advice. Please.”
“Okay, hold on, this conversation requires cake, I’ll be right back,” Emerie stated, jumping up from the table to retrieve the desired sweet. Gwyn looked to Nesta, hoping her friends would help her.
“Gwyn, if you’re comfortable with it, why don’t you start by telling us what you have done with Azriel?” Nesta suggested, her voice unusually gentle. “I know you haven’t done much, but we can help you better if we know where you’re at with him.”
Gwyn nodded, taking several calming breaths while they waited for Emerie to return. When the cake was acquired and they were all settled around the table again, Gwyn slowly explained as much as she could about what she had done with Azriel the previous night. Her sisters listened quietly, patiently waiting the few times Gwyn had to pause to collect herself when she became flustered.
By the time she was finished, she felt an odd sense of relief. Talking to Nesta and Emerie felt reassuring, like she didn’t have to figure out everything on her own. And she knew Azriel wouldn’t mind. He had said as much several times, and he knew how much comfort she took from speaking with her friends.
“Before I offer any advice, I have to say that I’m a little shocked,” Emerie admitted with wide eyes. “I never expected Azriel to be that romantic.”
“Neither did I, and I live with him,” Nesta agreed, stealing the remainder of Gwyn’s chocolate cake. Gwyn playfully shoved her away, waving her fork at her.
“Well, he is,” Gwyn said coyly, smiling at the memory of last night. Every time she thought about it, she was filled with happy butterflies. “He’s just a private person.”
Nesta and Emerie nodded knowingly, finishing off their cake before addressing Gwyn again.
“Okay, my advice,” Emerie began, folding her hands gracefully in front of her. “I’m not rushing you, but you should try facing your fears and try pleasuring yourself in the way that you’re worried about Azriel pleasuring you.”
“Yes, I agree,” Nesta said, returning to softly rubbing Gwyn’s back. “I know you’re nervous, but if you can do it on your own, then it might not be so scary with him.”
“Exactly,” Emerie nodded, squeezing Gwyn’s hand across the table. “Figure out what you like, then you’ll be able to explain to him what you want. Also, if you want to eventually have sex with him, then you’ll need to ease into it, so this will help.”
Gwyn rolled her shoulders back, mulling over the advice. “Okay, I think I can do that,” she slowly replied, her jaw set in determination. She could do this; she had her friends and Azriel for support. If she got anxious, she could just talk to them about it.
“Anything else?” She asked, staring between her friends. Emerie looked to Nesta, who thought for a moment before replying.
“I think you should try trusting Azriel a little more,” Nesta finally said, bringing a small frown to Gwyn’s lips. What did Nesta mean? She did trust Azriel. She opened her mouth to say as much, but Nesta quickly silenced her, already guessing what she was going to say.
“I know you trust him,” Nesta assured her. “But you keep worrying about how experienced he is instead of using it to your advantage.”
Gwyn raised an eyebrow, her confusion growing when Emerie eagerly nodded in agreement. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”
“I mean, trust him to know what he’s doing,” Nesta explained, sipping her drink before continuing. “He wants to be with you, and he knows you’re anxious about these things, so let him help you. Let him guide you when you need it. He’s more than experienced enough to know how to make this easier for you. So let him. It’s okay to rely on someone else sometimes, Gwyn.”
Gwyn’s face sagged, a tumult of emotions rolling through her all at once. This is exactly why she had wanted to talk to her sisters; they knew her so well, even when she tried to deny it.
She couldn’t ignore how right Nesta was. She had worried about how experienced Azriel was, constantly fearing that he would think her silly for her lack of experience. Yet he had shown her at every chance that the disparity in their sexual history didn’t bother him. He had been nothing but patient with her, always making sure she felt good no matter what they did. Taking the lead when she asked, figuring out what she liked even when she wasn’t sure herself.
“I…I hadn’t really thought about it that way,” she admitted shyly, toying with the edge of the tablecloth.
“That’s okay,” Nesta consoled her with a squeeze of her shoulders. “Like Emerie said, that’s what we’re here for.”
She slowly smiled, looking between her two friends and thanking the cauldron for bringing them into her life. She still missed her twin, but she knew Catrin would love these two females as much as she did. They were every bit as much her sisters as Catrin was.
“Now, I have a question for you,” Emerie declared, straightening her tunic with a sly smile. Nesta grinned at her, laughing softly as Gwyn waited for Emerie to continue. “We’ve offered advice, but is there anything we can do to help you feel more confident in all of this?”
Gwyn thought for several moments, thinking back on everything they had discussed. Her friends had helped her more than they knew, but perhaps there was one more thing they could do. Something she had wanted to do but wasn’t sure she had the courage for.
“Actually, yes,” Gwyn finally said, meeting Nesta and Emerie’s curious gazes. “Ever since Mor’s birthday, I’ve wanted to go back to this store -”
“The lingerie one?” Nesta gasped, eyes going wide in delight. Gwyn shyly nodded, blushing when Emerie clapped her hands in excitement. “Oh, we can absolutely go there if you want. I was thinking of getting a few new pieces anyway.”
“Are you sure?” Gwyn questioned, wanting to be certain her friends weren’t too tired. “I’m not used to shopping at places like that, so I’m a bit slow making decisions. We don’t have to go.”
“Oh, we’re going,” Emerie insisted, waving her hands at Gwyn. “After the birthday present you gave Mor, I need to see this shop. And knowing you’re going to knock that cocky bat on his ass when he sees you in new lingerie just makes me want to go more.”
Gwyn burst into giggles, doubling over as Nesta began laughing next to her. Emerie grinned with pride, ushering them out of the restaurant while Nesta and Gwyn continued laughing. Gwyn leaned on Emerie, twining their arms together while Nesta led them toward the lingerie shop, the three of them giggling and chatting excitedly.
As they walked through the city, Gwyn felt a little lighter with each step, the advice and support from her sisters giving her the courage to move forward. No matter what happened, she knew she could count on them to be there for her, helping her in whatever way she needed as she ventured into unknown territory with Azriel.
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After eating a slice of pie in the Spring Court, Gwyn finds herself desperate to be closer to Azriel and put an end to their accidental bout of abstinence.
Note: This was originally part of a collaboration of different works created for Kinktober 2021. To view the entire collection, visit my masterlist below.
Read on AO3
Warnings: NSFW. Very NSFW. Smut. Smuttiness for days.
Word Count: 8,476
MasterlistÂ
Gwyn watched Nesta disappear into the Spring Court manor before turning back to the pie tin in front of her with a relieved sigh, settling into the wicker chair she had sat in while she waited for Azriel to return. He had gone to check on some of his spies nearby while she and Nesta had gone around to the patio in search of their party. But no one seemed to be here, which made Gwyn even more annoyed than she already had been.
At least she didn’t have to pretend to be impressed by the gardens anymore. She wasn’t entirely sure why Nesta had insisted they tour them, as Gwyn had never liked perfectly manicured gardens like these ones. She had curated the wild, natural landscape of her and Azriel’s home for that very reason. But she suspected Nesta had simply wanted her to enjoy her first visit to the Spring Court, and she couldn’t begrudge her friend that, even if she would have preferred lounging on the patio the whole time.
As she stared across the moonlit gardens, she forked another bite of cherry pie into her mouth, sighing happily now that she was alone. She didn’t care if she was being rude to her hosts or not. She was starving, and all she wanted to do was go home and beg Azriel to make her pancakes. He made the best pancakes.
She huffed in annoyance, wishing she had refused this dinner invitation like Azriel had suggested. She liked Elain and Lucien, but the timing for this dinner couldn’t have been worse. She and Azriel had been working constantly, getting closer and closer to figuring out the last few causes behind the uprisings in Illyria, with the help of Cassian, Nesta, Emerie and Mor. Which meant they were more than a little worn out, and neither one of them was in the mood for a party.
It had been weeks since they had had a moment to just enjoy each other’s company, work and family obligations forcing them to sacrifice much needed alone time. It had made her far moodier than normal. And Azriel hadn’t been much better. The lack of sleep, and, unfortunately, sex was frustrating them both.
She couldn’t believe she had even hinted at her frustrations to Nesta. There were some things that she simply didn’t tell her friends - even Nesta and Emerie – for their sake and hers. It suited her just fine if they continued thinking she was innocent and shy about certain matters. It left her free to indulge her curiosity with Azriel without facing probing interrogations from her sisters. They would be beside themselves if they knew the things she let Azriel do to her. That she asked him to do to her.
She sighed, brushing her frustration away as she scooped up more pie. It was delightful, the tart cherries contrasting perfectly with the flaky crust. If only it wasn’t so damn hot in the Spring Court, then she could enjoy it more. She lightly fanned herself while savoring another bite, trying to cool herself off. Had it been this warm when they arrived?
“You know it’s rude to eat when you haven’t even greeted your hosts yet, right?” Azriel’s deep, amused voice came from behind her. She whirled around, fork still poised by her mouth, the incriminating remnants of pie lingering on the tip. Azriel’s face spread into a mirthful grin as he approached her, his shadows swirling around him as he crossed the patio and sank into the chair next to her.
“I was hungry,” she said primly, shamelessly pulling the pie tin toward her and scooping up the last bite. Azriel smirked, his eyes narrowing in amusement. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not my fault no one was here to greet us. Or feed us.”
“Fair enough,” he murmured, draping his arm behind her and absently toying with the thin strap of her flowy, green gown. She shifted in her seat, the heat making her even more distracted than she normally would be at her mate’s touch. Why was she so warm all of a sudden? “Where’s Nesta?”
“Oh, she went upstairs,” Gwyn hummed, setting down her fork and fanning herself. Gods she was hot. She was vaguely aware of Azriel raising his eyebrows at her, but all she could think about was the way he was rubbing her shoulder. Every stroke of his fingers seemed to ignite something in her.
“Nesta made us late to this and now she’s not even here,” Azriel grumbled, his wings flaring slightly in annoyance. “And our hosts aren’t here either. Remind me why we had to come to this dinner again.”
Gwyn remained silent, unable to find the words to respond. She would normally tease him to lessen his sour mood, but her mind was a puddle. There was no denying that there was a distinct warmth spreading between her legs, even though all Azriel had done was touch her shoulder. Her body was on fire – hot, burning desire filling her senses.
She knew they hadn’t had sex in almost two weeks because they had been too busy and tired, but that hardly justified how needy she suddenly felt. She was used to having him gone for a week or more at times, so this was hardly different, even if it had been frustrating. But nothing like this had ever happened to her. She felt positively desperate for him, and she had no idea why.
“Gwyn, are you okay?” Azriel asked, breaking into her hazy thoughts. She met his gaze, her cheeks flushing crimson as she tried to stay calm. His brow was furrowed, the hand on her shoulder squeezing gently. “You seem distracted, Bird.”
“I…I’m fine,” she forced out, clamping her thighs together as she stared at him. He was wearing a simple black tunic and pants, like he often did, but she found herself aching to undress him. To feel his skin on hers. The mere sight of him was making her slip further into whatever this strange haze was. What was happening to her?
Azriel opened his mouth to respond, but his jaw merely sagged open as she found herself reaching for the hem of her skirt, utterly throwing caution to the wind and letting this strange feeling completely take over. Without thinking, she hiked her dress up around her thighs and quickly moved to straddle Azriel, kicking off her shoes in the process. She moved too fast for him to argue, but as she tried to kiss him, he dodged her, staring in confusion.
“Gwyn, honey, I know we haven’t been as intimate as normal, but what the hell are you doing?” He questioned, gripping her waist. She ignored him, pressing her body into his, and sighing when she felt him hardening beneath her. “Gwyneth, did I miss something?”
She blinked, then shook her head before leaning down and kissing his jaw. He didn’t fight her, but he didn’t kiss her back either, which only spurred her on. She peppered his jaw with kisses, working her way down his throat as she reached for the buttons on his shirt. The aching in her body was inescapable, her core throbbing with need. Her earlier frustrations had now been replaced with an entirely different kind of hunger.
“Gwyn, talk to me, please,” Azriel urged, still resolutely refusing to touch her, his shadows swirling around them in thick waves. She kept kissing him, tugging at his shirt impatiently. She needed to feel him, to have his hands on her. “Gwyneth, I’m serious. As much as I’m enjoying this, will you please just…”
She moved to cut him off with a deep kiss, but he suddenly stopped speaking and captured her jaw in his hand, his eyes blazing. She froze, resisting the temptation to rock her hips into his now fully present erection. Azriel just stared at her, holding her face while she gaped in shock.
“Gwyn, show me your tongue please,” Azriel quietly commanded, his shadows deepening. She hesitantly obeyed, her body screaming at her to move against him, to touch herself, to do something. Anything. She just needed relief from the desire-filled haze that had overtaken her.
Azriel let out a deep sigh of frustration as he studied her tongue, then released her jaw, softly stroking her back as if to soothe her. “Gwyn, don’t panic, but that pie was laced with Red Iris powder, a drug used to make people unbearably aroused for roughly 12 hours unless you take the antidote,” he slowly explained, his tone measured. “We need to get you home, love.”
“Why would I panic?” she asked, ignoring his explanation, almost wanting to cry from how potent her arousal had become. She didn’t understand why Azriel seemed so worried. She clearly wasn’t the only one who had eaten the pie, so why did it matter? “How do you even know that?”
“My shadows found a note,” Azriel explained, his tone clipped, revealing just how aggravated he was. “The pie was a gift from Lucien’s parents. It was meant for tomorrow, but clearly things didn’t go as planned. That’s why your tongue is blue.”
“It is not!”
“Yes, it is,” he said firmly, gripping her thighs when she tried wiggling her hips again. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, but she was past the point of caring. The only thing that mattered to her now was getting him to make her cum. “Please just cooperate, Gwyn. If you let me take you home, I can make you the antidote.”
She shook her head and huffed in annoyance, leaning as far away from him as possible while still straddling him. The ache in her core was beyond distracting, but she was even more frustrated by his reaction to it. All she wanted was him, and he was blatantly refusing her because of a pie.
“I don’t want to go home,” she argued petulantly, her irritation growing. “It was just pie, Azriel. I don’t care about some ridiculous aphrodisiac. If you don’t want to have sex with me, then just say it.”
His eyes shot to hers, hot fury lacing his features. “Don’t go there,” he growled, roughly pulling her closer. “This has nothing to do with me not wanting to have sex with you. All I want to do is pleasure you in every possible way because I haven’t gotten to touch you like that in two fucking weeks, Gwyn. You know that.”
“Then take me,” she challenged, attempting to grind against him. The pure need coursing through her was becoming unbearable, the need to orgasm consuming every thought. “I need you, Az. If you really want me, then take me.”
“I can’t! You’re not thinking straight,” he argued, keeping her body still even while she continued trying to find some sort of friction. She let out a strangled sound of frustration, shoving at his chest in exasperation.
“Yes, I am!” She protested, shamelessly reaching a hand between her legs. If he wouldn’t touch her, then she would simply take care of it herself. A scarred hand halted her movements, gripping her wrists and holding them between their bodies.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he said quietly, a muscle in his jaw working furiously. She could tell she was treading dangerously close to the point of pushing him too far, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She wanted him to lose control. To take her any way he pleased. She was past the point of wanting him to make love to her. She wanted him to fuck her.
“Az, please,” she begged, not bothering to resist his grip. Her mind was too full of her own wicked fantasies to put up much of a fight. “I need you. You can give me the antidote later if you want. I just want you. Please.”
“Gwyneth,” he rumbled, releasing her wrists and leaning back in his chair. She took advantage of her sudden freedom, shamelessly pulling her skirt farther up and rocking her hips into him, a loud moan of relief escaping her. “Fuck, Gwyn. I’m trying to do the right thing, and you’re making it incredibly difficult.”
She leaned down to kiss his jaw again, a tight coil of pleasure already building below her stomach just from the slight friction she was causing. “Then do the right thing and fuck me,” she challenged, trailing a hand up her waist and cupping her breast. “I want you so much, Az. I trust you. Please just touch me.”
He groaned loudly, then grabbed her hips again, taking back control of her movements. “Fine, but I am only doing this on my terms,” he conceded, his tone leaving no room for argument even while the scent of his arousal slowly mixed with hers. “Tell me your safe word.”
“Um…blade. It’s blade,” she reminded him, her heart racing with anticipation. She knew what it meant if he was asking for her safe word, and if she had been standing, her knees would have gone weak. He had very specific plans for her; plans that she was more than willing to let him carry out.
“Good. You won’t need mine tonight,” he assured her, his voice taking on the seductive tone that always made her shiver. “But you have to be quiet for me until I can get you home. We don’t want anyone to find us out here. Okay?”
She nodded quickly, willingly giving him control. Only with him did she ever completely let go. He was her mate; she was safe. Which meant she could let herself fully enjoy every second of this. And gods, she had missed him touching her. Even if it had only been two weeks.
She didn’t have to wait long for relief, as only a moment later he suddenly lifted her off his lap, and then her backside landed on the small metal table in front of them, Azriel’s large body cradled between her thighs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to drag him down for a kiss, but she was once again met with resistance.
She whimpered, her back arching into him slightly. “Az, please, I need you,” she whined, clawing at the buttons of his shirt. He chuckled, but didn’t argue, helping her undo the buttons and quickly shrugging off his shirt. She let out a happy sigh as her hands roamed his chest, but it quickly turned into a moan of relief as his hand trailed up her thigh and hooked on the edge of her panties.
“Remember, if you want this to stop, just say your safe word or scratch my wings,” Azriel said as he slowly dragged her soaked panties down her legs. She lifted her hips for him, her skin flushed even while a cool breeze flicked across her aching center.
She nodded, pulling her dress around her waist to give him better access. He smirked as he finished dragging her panties off and tossed them to the side, his eyes roaming across her exposed center. Before she could beg him to touch her again, his mouth was on hers and his hands were pushing her thighs farther apart, fully spreading her out on the table. She gasped, bucking her hips toward him. He pushed her back down, nipping at her bottom lip as one of his hands cupped her soaked cunt.
His tongue teased her mouth open, claiming her as he palmed her core. She bucked her hips into his hand, moaning and gasping into his mouth. Her nails raked down his back as her legs wrapped around his waist. His free hand slipped behind her neck, angling her the way he wanted. For a small moment, she worried they might be seen by someone, but then his fingers were slipping between her wet folds and she was entirely at his mercy.
She broke away from the kiss, gasping for breath, but he didn’t stop, his mouth only moving down her throat. A cry escaped her as he found her entrance and sunk in two fingers, sliding easily into her. He raised his head with a chuckle, slowly pumping his fingers in and out.
“Shh, you need to be quiet, Sweetheart,” he reminded her, shoving his fingers roughly inside of her. The movement brought another loud moan to her lips, the sound echoing across the patio. He tsked, pulling his fingers out and repeating the same motion. “We’re going to get caught, little bird.”
She bit her lip, trying to hold back a whimper, but failing miserably. “You asshole,” she gasped out, shamelessly grinding her hips up to meet his thrusts. “You like it when I moan for you.”
“Mm, maybe I do,” he murmured, leaning down and nipping at her jaw. “Maybe I want everyone to hear you. To know who’s making you feel like this.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but the only sound that left was a soft sob of pleasure as his thumb came up to her clit and began circling it. His fingers increased their pace, fucking her relentlessly while she moaned and bucked her hips wildly. The pleasure was already beyond intense, her body drawing close to the edge. She clawed at his shoulders, biting her lip to try and stifle the cries flooding from her mouth.
He kept circling her clit, adding pressure as he thrust inside of her, curling his fingers to hit the spot that always made her come undone. As his mouth found hers again, pleasure exploded through her, her orgasm coming on so fast she had no time to prepare herself. She shattered, a scream bubbling up as burning ecstasy washed through her.
Azriel stifled the sound with his mouth, kissing her through her climax to keep her somewhat quiet. His fingers kept working her, drawing out every ounce of pleasure she could handle. Her body shook uncontrollably, her pussy clenching around his fingers while her release slowly eased. He gave her a few more slow thrusts, then removed his hand, pulling his mouth away to watch his fingers slipping out of her.
She watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean, a small whimper leaving her at the sight. Somehow, despite how strong her climax had been, she was already aching for more, her body still throbbing with need. She clenched her thighs around him, forcing him to lean closer to her again. But he only smirked, dragging a single finger from her entrance to her clit and back again.
“You have to be patient, Sweetheart,” he commanded, gripping her hips and pulling her against him. She gasped, reaching for the buckle on his pants. But he pushed her away, holding her wrists in one large hand. “Not yet, Bird. Tell me what you want first.”
“Fuck me, Az,” she whispered, knowing he liked it when she was very specific with her requests. She could feel how hard he was, and it made her mouth water. “Please. I…I want to feel you inside of me. I want your cock. I just want you to fuck me. Please, Az.”
“Such dirty words from such a pretty mouth,” he smirked, satisfaction blazing in his eyes as he brushed his thumb across her lips. She squirmed in his arms, a fresh wave of heat flooding her. “Hmm, I like the idea of having my cock inside of you, but I don’t think it should be that easy. Do you?”
She trembled, but managed to shake her head, heated anticipation building. Gods, she loved it when he was like this. All demanding and uncontrolled. It made her shiver just thinking about what he would do to her.
“That’s what I thought,” he murmured, finally releasing her wrists. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck, trembling with excitement and desire. “I’m going to take you home, and you’re going to do exactly as I say. And if you’re good, then I might just let you have your way. Okay?”
“Yes, please,” she eagerly nodded, clinging to him, still half naked in his arms. He smiled, his hands gripping her ass, and then he winnowed, plunging them momentarily into darkness.
Only a second later, they reappeared in their seaside home, Azriel’s shadows swirling around them in excited circles. He strode purposefully up the stairs, not bothering to turn on any fae lights as he carried her to their bedroom. Gwyn clung to him, the drug still coursing through her body screaming at her to find release. She was once again overcome with the need to climax, the slight rubbing of Azriel’s bare chest against her clit causing her eyes to flutter shut with pleasure.
Before she could fully process what was happening, she was being set down on the end of their large bed. She tried to pull Azriel down with her, thinking he was going to join her, but he pulled away, leaving her spread out on the bed for him. She gaped at him, not caring that her dress was still bunched around her waist, exposing her.
He smiled at her, walking to the dresser in the corner and pulling out two familiar silky items, along with something that she couldn’t quite see before he tucked it behind his back. As he approached her, she leaned up on her elbows, ignoring the increased wetness between her legs at the sight of the ribbon and blindfold in his hands.
“Stand up,” he demanded, his eyes dropping to her core. She obeyed without question, her normal tendency to tease him fading in the face of her desperate need to orgasm again. Her dress fluttered around her, concealing her core from view, but she knew it wouldn’t take long before Azriel had her undressed and exposed again.
He kissed her softly, brushing her hair back from her face with a smile. Then he carefully slipped the blindfold over her eyes, rendering her completely at his mercy. This wasn’t the first time they had done something like this, but her arousal was almost unbearable, reminding her of the first time they had ever played with ribbons and blindfolds.
“Are you thinking of our mating frenzy?” Azriel quietly asked, sensing the direction of her thoughts. “Are you thinking of that night when I tied you up and fucked you until dawn? Does it make you wet, Sweetheart?”
She weakly nodded, helpless to her own desires. He guided her to where he wanted her, turning her until she was almost sure she was facing the bed, her knees trembling with anticipation and want. She could feel herself almost dripping with arousal, his shadows slowly caressing their way up her legs as she tried to hold still. She felt Azriel’s hands leave her for a moment, but then she felt the familiar cool touch of a blade on her skin.
She shivered, the cold of the metal contrasting with her burning desire. Azriel dragged the blade up her arm, his body just far enough away that she couldn’t quite tell where he was standing. She stood perfectly still, waiting for him to move or say something. But he remained quiet, dragging the blade torturously slow up her arm until she could feel the tip slip beneath the strap of her gown. In one swift motion, one side of her dress suddenly slipped, exposing her breast.
She gasped but managed to remain motionless. Cool air danced across her skin as the blade traveled across her collarbone, slowly gliding under the second strap. A second later, her gown fell to the floor, leaving her completely bare for him.
“I’ll buy you a new dress, love. I promise,” Azriel murmured from next to her, his breath tickling the skin on her shoulder.
“What if I liked that dress?” She questioned; her voice far breathier than she had intended.
He chuckled quietly. “Then I’ll buy you the same one,” he suggested, his hands ghosting up her sides before slowly pulling her arms in front of her. “Tell me now, and we can stop.”
“Keep going,” she demanded, desperate to feel him closer but grateful that he was still making sure she was okay first – as he always did. The normalcy of his actions helped make this strange evening easier, allowing her to fully give in to the irresistible desire she felt.
“Tell me if it’s too tight,” he replied, slipping the ribbon around her wrists. She shifted impatiently in front of him, biting her lip as he expertly knotted the ribbon, forcing her to rely on his help if she wanted to move.
He pulled away, his shadows still softly caressing her. She waited, praying he would start touching her now. His hands drifted to her waist, hovering just above her hips, his thumbs stroking her skin. The wetness between her legs had fully spread across her thighs now, her nipples peaked in the cool air, goosebumps spreading across her body.
She felt his hands pull away, leaving just the tips of his fingers on her skin as she heard him moving. His shadows followed the path of their master, drawing patterns across her body as Azriel slowly traced every inch of her. The movement of his fingers kept her anchored, stopping her from becoming too disoriented. Each stroke of his hands sent shivers down her spine, her chest heaving as he circled her.
His hands drifted dangerously close to her most sensitive areas, teasing her before he pulled away. Each movement of his fingers felt like he was branding her, each touch so sensual, so deliberate that her knees shook from the sheer force of her arousal. Finally, she felt him come to a stop in front of her, his hands resting on her sides, just underneath her breasts.
His lips grazed the shell of her ear. “Kneel,” he commanded, his voice low and rough. She sucked in a breath, her chest heaving.
“I…I need help,” she admitted, wanting to obey him but unsure if she could get on her knees without falling. She already felt unsteady, and the lack of mobility in her arms only made it worse. “Please, Azriel.”
His hands found her elbows, gently guiding her to the floor. She lowered herself without question, trusting him to keep her safe. She felt him kneeling with her, and confusion fluttered in her chest. She had thought he wanted her on her knees for other reasons, but that wouldn’t work if he was on his knees too.
When she was settled on the ground, her breasts jutting out in front of her as she sat back on her heels, he kissed her slowly. She opened for him eagerly, whining softly when he pulled away too quickly. But then his hand was gently pushing her legs apart, his fingers just barely brushing over her slick sex, and she was overcome with need. She was ready to beg if that’s what he wanted her to do, as long as it meant he made her cum.
“Gwyn, I need you to trust me,” he whispered, his hand still hovering between her legs. She felt his other hand slip past her thigh, joining the other underneath her. “I’m going to try something different to try to help take off the edge from the drug. Is that okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, I trust you, Az,” she assured him, her legs shaking. She thought she might faint from how potent her arousal was. It was like being in the mating frenzy again, except she felt like she had no control over her own body, which was far more difficult to handle than the frenzy had been. At least then she had been able to exhibit some restraint when necessary. She was quickly understanding why Azriel had wanted her to take the antidote to this odd drug.
“Keep your legs spread for me, Bird,” Azriel commanded, accepting her answer. She forced herself to pay attention, trying to ignore the desperate clawing of desire that was ripping through her body. “This is going to feel strange, but just stay relaxed.”
She thought about asking what he meant, but she never found the words, the sudden movement of his hands between her legs forcing every thought from her head. A finger circled her entrance, gently entering her before pulling out. But it was quickly replaced with something cold and hard, the mysterious object slipping easily inside of her.
As her inner walls involuntarily clenched around the item, she suddenly realized what it was, a breathless giggle escaping her as Azriel slowly finished putting it inside of her. It was the gift Nesta had jokingly given her for her birthday, a glass sex toy that Nesta had said might be useful for when Azriel was away. Gwyn had never used it, partially from nerves, but mostly because she had grown accustomed to Azriel’s hard warmth inside of her. She thought the toy would feel strange, and she was quickly realizing she had been right.
But gods, did it feel good. It wasn’t quite as large as Azriel, but the odd ridges that ran along the sides of it made up for it. Every time she so much as breathed, it shifted just slightly inside of her, teasing her enough to cause her breathing to turn ragged. But, to her surprise, Azriel didn’t move the toy. Instead, he released his hold on it, his shadows replacing his fingers and holding it in place. She whimpered, quickly growing desperate for Azriel to fuck her with the toy.
To her dismay, she felt him move away from her, leaving her side, the toy still resting in her aching cunt. She whined, her inner walls clenching fruitlessly around the object. His shadows didn’t help, as they kept gently caressing her clit, her breasts, her neck – everywhere.
“Azriel, please, I…gods, please,” she moaned, shifting frantically to try and bounce her hips up and down on the toy. But his shadows kept it in place, denying her the movement she wanted. “Az, I want to cum. Please.”
“Shh, it’s all right,” he assured her, his voice much too far away for her liking. “All you have to do is stay exactly like that for five minutes. Then, if you’re good, I’ll come back and do anything you want me to. Can you do that for me, Sweetheart?”
“Az, I…what?” She stumbled out, the pressure from the toy making her almost dizzy with need. “Where are you going? Are you just going to leave me here?”
“I’ll be back in just a few minutes, Sweetheart.”
And with that, she heard the door open and shut, leaving her alone in the darkness. His shadows remained with her, coaxing small whimpers of pleasure from her as they teased her body. She tried to stay as still as possible, but every second felt like an eternity, the glass toy inside of her a constant reminder of how much she needed to cum. Azriel’s shadows began working her clit, adding pressure to her already throbbing core, her whimpers turning into moans.
But she still couldn’t find enough friction to climax, the shadows keeping her release just out of reach. She wanted to scream in frustration, the blindfold keeping her from knowing how much time had passed. Her safe word floated through her head, something that rarely happened, but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could handle this. Her body was screaming at her with the need to orgasm, every inch of her body aching with need.
But just as she truly considered saying her safe word, desperation clawing at her throat, she heard Azriel reenter the bedroom. She sagged in relief, softly sobbing as she heard him approaching. She heard rustling, and then movement in front of her, followed by scarred hands cupping her face. His lips pressed against her temple, his thumbs stroking her cheeks reassuringly.
“Shhh, it’s all right. I promised I’d be back, Sweetheart,” he murmured, peppering her face with kisses. She sighed with relief, too needy to form words. “You did so good, little bird. You were so patient. I think you deserve a reward. Would you like that?”
“Yes, please,” she moaned, forcing the words out, nodding frantically. She clenched her thighs, causing the glass toy to shift, drawing a gasp from her lips. “Oh gods, Az! Please, please do something.”
“Shhh, it’s okay, I will,” he promised, brushing his hands through her hair. “Do you still want me to fuck you, or do you want something else? You’ve done so well, love. Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”
She whimpered, shifting restlessly on her knees, her wetness fully dripping down her legs now. “I…I still want that,” she whispered, her mind a frenzy of heat and need. She felt dizzy, her desperation to climax reaching new heights. “But I…I need you to touch me. Please, Az. Please, just touch me. I need your hands, your mouth, anything. Please. I need you.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of you, I promise,” he soothed her, gripping her elbows to guide her to stand up again. She obediently stood, her legs shaking uncontrollably, the glass toy still nestled inside of her throbbing center.
“Come here, Sweetheart,” he murmured, guiding her forward before turning her around. The backs of her knees hit the bed, and he helped her sit on the edge, his warmth filling her with renewed arousal. She clenched her thighs, clawing at the restraints on her wrists. She wanted to touch him, to feel his skin beneath her.
He helped her shimmy backward, easing her onto her back as he crawled over her, kneeling between her legs. She trembled, her inner walls fluttering around the glass toy as Azriel shifted her arms until they were stretched out over her head, the familiar tug of his shadows pulling on the ribbon to keep her in place. His breath danced across her skin, his mouth ghosting along her chest before finally meeting her lips softly. She bucked her hips up, trying to find his body, but he pushed her back down as he pulled away, one hand gripping her hip while the other trailed up her thigh.
And then the toy was suddenly pulled out of her, drawing out to the tip before shoving back in. She cried out, her back arching as her wrists strained at the ribbon. He pulled the toy out again, dragging the tip through her wet folds and circling her clit before slipping down to her entrance again. He eased the toy back in, only going a few inches before pulling it out. She gasped and whimpered, frantically pushing her hips up to meet his thrusts.
But he kept her in place, alternating between barely putting the toy inside of her to tease her and roughly thrusting it in until she was crying out in pleasure. His movements were unpredictable, making each sensation heightened, her inner walls fluttering uncontrollably as he fucked her with the glass toy. Then his shadows joined in, stroking her most sensitive places, nipping at her before Azriel soothed the marks with his tongue.
“Look at you, so needy,” he murmured against her skin, his lips trailing down to her breasts. “I thought you wanted my cock, Bird, but you seem to be doing fine without it. I guess I don’t need to fuck you after all…”
She let out a soft sob, arching her back into his mouth as his lips wrapped around her nipple. “No…no, please,” she whimpered, tugging at the restraints as he roughly thrust the toy into her again, his teeth nipping at her swollen peaks. “Please, Az! I still need you. Please. Oh gods, please. I want you to fuck me.”
“Hmmm, I’m not so sure, Gwyn,” he drawled, suckling at her sensitive nipples while dragging the toy in and out. “You’re already squirming, and I’m not even in you yet. How do I know you really want me? If you don’t want to have sex with me, you can just say it.”
“You asshole!” She screeched as he drew his mouth away from her, taunting her with her own words from earlier. He dragged the toy to her clit and back to her entrance, inserting it just enough to make her squirm again. “Just fuck me, please! I want you. I want you to take me. I want you to cum inside of me. Please. Please, Az!”
“Mmm, if you insist,” he chuckled, the sound coming from somewhere close to her legs. The hand on her hip prevented her from moving enough to reach him, the throbbing in her core making her frantic for him. “But…I think I’ll have dessert first.”
Before she could utter more than a small whimper, the toy was roughly pulled away from her, only to be replaced a second later with Azriel’s mouth. His tongue swirled her entrance, then delved into her, thrusting into her already aching cunt. Her back arched off the bed, her thighs clamping around him as pleasure burst through her.
His shadows kept her restrained, holding the ribbon down and preventing her from touching him. She squirmed frantically, shamelessly grinding her hips into his mouth. His tongue stroked up to her clit, circling it before his teeth nipped at her, sending a jolt of pleasure through her. She cried out, feeling her climax fast approaching. She was already so overly sensitive from his previous ministrations that she knew she wouldn’t last long with his expert mouth working her.
“Azriel, oh gods, yes!” She sobbed, her pussy clenching uncontrollably as he alternated between fucking her with his tongue and teasing her clit. “I’m…I’m not going to last long. Please. Oh gods. Az, Az, Az…”
Her pleas trailed off into a string of whimpers and sobs as his thumb found her clit, rubbing her steadily while his tongue delved into her relentlessly. She felt him chuckle against her, the vibration shooting through her and making her almost scream in ecstasy. With one final thrust of his tongue, his fingers stroking her clit, she fell over the edge.
Her back arched into him, a scream echoing through the room as hot bursts of pleasure shot through her, his tongue still fucking her as her inner walls fluttered around him. He continued working her until her body slowly relaxed, a small whimper escaping her as she tried to come back down from her high. He licked at her entrance, then swept up to her clit with one long stroke before finally pulling away.
She collapsed onto the bed, her body shaking yet somehow still aching with need. She was exhausted and overly sensitive, but the aphrodisiac was already beginning to urge her to find release again. She was far too tired to resist, going utterly pliant as Azriel slipped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap.
She fell against his chest, her still restrained arms tucked between them, her head resting on his shoulder as he stroked her back. She realized he must have removed his pants at some point because his very prominent erection was pressing into her stomach, drawing a needy moan from her. She was past the point of words, merely attempting to wiggle her hips to indicate what she wanted. She needed him inside of her. Needed to feel his hard length filling her as only he could.
“Try to breathe, Gwyn,” Azriel soothed her, shifting until he seemed to be in a seated position. He eased the blindfold off, allowing her to finally see him. “You’re doing so well, Sweetheart. So fucking well.”
She softly mewled, blinking as her eyes readjusted and squirming in his arms in a desperate attempt to get him to slip inside of her, but he held her firmly, keeping her still. She clenched her thighs around him, her core somehow even more wet than it had been. His cock twitched beneath her, indicating how much he was holding himself back.
“Az, please,” she managed to whisper, clawing at the ribbon on her wrists. “I need you. Please. I want to cum for you. I want you inside me. Please.”
“Mmm, so eager,” he murmured, kissing his way down her shoulder, his hands drifting to her ass and squeezing. “I think you’ve earned it. You’ve been so good for me, Sweetheart.”
She moaned at his words, gasping in relief when he shifted her over his length, positioning her how he wanted before sliding into her tight, throbbing cunt. She sobbed in ecstasy, reveling in how full she felt as he entered her. He pulled her tightly to him, adjusting her arms until they were over his neck, allowing her to press her body firmly against his. Her peaked nipples scraped against his hard chest, her walls already tightening around his cock.
She waited for him to do something, but he merely stroked her hips with his thumbs, his mouth still softly kissing her throat as he worked his way toward her chest. She shifted on him, clenching her thighs to try and get him to move. But still, nothing. She could feel his cock twitching inside of her, but he refused to do anything besides continue his leisurely exploration.
“Az…please, I need you to move,” she pleaded, her clit throbbing with need. It was rare for her to beg so willingly, even though she knew he liked it, but she was too desperate to tease him like she normally would. “I need to cum. Please, Azriel.”
“Then cum,” he commanded, his voice rough and full of heat. She sucked in a breath, her nipples once again peaking from her arousal. “Fuck yourself on my cock. I want to watch you riding me, so use me. Show me how much you need me, little bird. Fuck me.”
She stared at him, waiting to see if he was only teasing her again, but he gripped her hips harder, urging her on. She began slowly raising her hips, then let her body slip back down, adjusting to riding him while her hands were still bound. Azriel groaned deeply as she found a rhythm, bouncing her hips on him, his hardened length hitting her at an angle that quickly had her moaning in pleasure.
Azriel used one hand to keep her steady while he trailed the other up to her breasts, lightly squeezing before he began teasing her nipple. She clawed harder at the restraints, aching to touch him. Her walls clenched around his cock with every snap of her hips, leaving them both panting and moaning as they drew closer to release.
“You look so pretty like this,” Azriel groaned, his mouth roaming her skin, leaving small marks where he let his teeth nip at her. She bucked her hips harder, his encouragement spurring her on “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Gwyn. Gods, you feel good…”
His words trailed off as he threw his head back with a groan, his hands dropping to her hips and gripping her so tightly she knew it would bruise later. She moaned loudly when he pulled her down harder onto him, finally giving her the help she had wanted before. The restraints dug into her wrists as she desperately tried to touch him, her throbbing core fluttering around him as he began thrusting his hips up to meet hers.
“Azriel, I want to touch you. Please,” she whimpered, wildly rocking her hips in time with his. “Please let me touch you. Oh gods…it feels so good, please. I need to touch you.”
He chuckled, one hand drifting between them and stroking the area just above the apex of her thighs. She gasped and bucked uncontrollably, trying to get his hand to slip toward her clit. His fingers dug into her hip, his cock thrusting into her harder and harder with every movement.
“I’ll let you touch me on one condition, Sweetheart,” he growled, his eyes blazing as the hand near her center finally drifted down. She gasped as he began rubbing her clit, circling it with his fingers while he roughly thrust into her. “Never question how much I fucking want you again.”
He emphasized his demand with several hard thrusts upward, her body trembling with the force of how hard he was fucking her. She managed to nod while she clenched her walls frantically around his cock, moaning relentlessly as pleasure built in her core. But he still didn’t release her restraints, silently telling her that he wanted a verbal response from her.
“I…I won’t,” she agreed, mewling softly as the pressure of his fingers increased on her clit. His cock twitched inside of her, his thrusts hitting the sweet spot in her core that would have her coming undone in seconds. “I won’t question it. I promise. Oh gods, please. Please Az!”
As her words flooded out, she felt the ribbon around her wrists snap, his shadows releasing her from the restraints and allowing her to finally touch Azriel. She scratched at his shoulders, one hand delving into his hair while the other trailed down his back. He groaned deeply again, biting at her shoulder while she used him as leverage to grind on him harder, meeting his deep thrusts.
Their sounds of ecstasy filled the room, the hand on her clit helping push her toward the edge. Their movements were filled with desperate, uncontrolled need; their unintended abstinence from sex making them both almost wild with lust for each other.
With one more hard thrust from Azriel, pleasure burst through Gwyn’s senses, her orgasm crashing over her as she cried out in pleasure. Azriel’s name fell from her lips in a stream of whimpers and cries, her ecstasy drowning out everything. He kept fucking her through it, his hips snapping up to hers as her release shook her body.
As her climax eased, he flipped them over, his hand leaving her clit to grip her hips again. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he continued fucking her relentlessly, his cock slamming into her at a punishing pace. Her nails scraped at his back, another orgasm already building in her core, her inner walls clenching harder around his cock.
“Touch yourself,” he commanded roughly, looking at her through his lashes as he barreled toward his own release. She obeyed without question, reaching a hand between them to rub her clit, moaning loudly at the added sensation. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Gwyn.”
“Yes! Oh gods, yes, Az!” She cried, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt his body shudder, his release spilling into her. His head fell to her shoulder, his movements erratic as he fell over the edge, her name on his lips.
She followed him a moment later, pleasure washing over her once again as she climaxed, their bodies trembling as they both rode out their highs. His pace slowly eased as the last moments of pleasure filled them. They clung to each other, their breathing ragged, their bodies still joined.
They stayed like that for several minutes, his cock still inside of her, their bodies tangled together. She slowly removed her hand from between them, stroking his back as their breathing returned to normal. But just as she thought she was finally returning to normal, arousal once again built, the ache in her core making her whine in exhaustion.
“Are you all right, Love?” Azriel murmured, his breath tickling her skin. “Was that too much? Did I go too far?”
She let out a sound that was half sob half laugh. “No, you were perfect,” she assured him, shifting restlessly beneath him. “But…please tell me you made the antidote.”
He lifted his head with an amused smile, chuckling as he eased out of her. “It’s in the kitchen,” he explained, kneeling above her. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up and then we can go get it.”
She smiled in relief, sagging onto the bed as he went to retrieve a damp cloth to clean her up. She had enjoyed every second of tonight, but she was utterly exhausted. Not to mention, she was still starving. She wasn’t sure she could handle anymore wild sex unless she had food and a nap first.
To her delight, within 10 minutes she was perched on the kitchen counter, dressed in one of Azriel’s shirts, happily watching him collect the ingredients to make her pancakes while she sipped on her second cup of tea. The bitterness from the tea would normally have bothered her, but the relief the first cup had given her was enough to make her continue drinking it.
“Feeling better?” Azriel asked her with a smile, pausing his search to slide in between her legs, his hands stroking her thighs. She nodded happily, the ache in her core finally eased. “Good. What kind of pancakes do you want?”
She grinned, setting aside her empty teacup to give him a quick kiss. “Chocolate chip, please,” she requested, giggling when he pinched her sides playfully. “Thank you, Azriel. For the pancakes, and for taking care of me.”
“Mmm, my pleasure,” he murmured, leaning in for another kiss. She willingly obliged him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you, Bird.”
“I love you too,” she whispered against him, leaning her forehead against his. “After the pancakes, can we just cuddle? I’ve missed spending alone time with you these past few weeks.”
He smiled, kissing her softly before responding. “I’ve missed you too,” he agreed, pausing to kiss her again. “We can cuddle for as long as you want tonight. And tomorrow, we’re not going anywhere. I’d like you all to myself for a while.”
She giggled, letting him pepper her with kisses before he turned away to retrieve the chocolate morsels for the pancakes, her heart bursting with happiness. As Azriel mixed the pancake batter, the two of them falling into a comfortable silence, a thought popped into her head.
“Azriel?”
“Yes, my love?”
“No one else had the antidote…” she commented, thinking of their friends and family back in the Spring Court. She hadn’t been the only one to eat that pie, but she had been the only one given the antidote as far as she knew. That would certainly explain the lack of greeting when they had arrived for dinner.
Azriel turned to her, his eyes wide as he met her amused face, and then he burst into laughter, his deep rumble echoing through the kitchen. As Gwyn watched her mate double over with mirth, she couldn’t hold back the stream of giggles that flooded out, the two of them happily lost in each other. A slice of pie might have changed their plans for the evening, but she was right where she belonged.
Gwyn and Azriel spend an intimate evening playing chess as they finally take the next small step in their relationship.
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Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Mild smut. Steamy. NSFW.
Word Count: 6,620
Masterlist
Azriel diligently set the chess pieces on the board in front of him, quickly shrugging off his shirt as he went, nervous anticipation settling in. He knew he should be far more relaxed than this, after all, it wasn’t exactly his first time in a potentially sexual situation with a female. But this was the first time with Gwyn, and that made all the difference.
They had just returned from Velaris, having spent the night at dinner and then wandering the city until she was ready to come home. He had done everything in his power to make sure she was as relaxed as possible by the time they got to his bedroom, but he had failed at relaxing himself.
Now, as he waited for Gwyn to come out of the bathing room where she was changing, he felt like an inexperienced boy again, all his usual calmness failing him. They had already established that tonight would not involve sex, but he knew she wanted more than just their normal kisses. And it was making him far more nervous than he had ever been in the bedroom.
He glanced around the room, lit only by a few candles, forcing himself to take a few steadying breaths. This was Gwyn. He had nothing to be nervous about. Yet, a part of him was terrified. They had planned for tonight, but they had decided to simply see where the night took them. Gwyn knew she wanted more, but she wasn’t sure what that meant exactly. Which left him to figure it out and he was going out of his mind worrying that he would do the wrong thing.
He turned back to the table, pouring her a glass of wine, then filling one for himself. He brought the glass toward his mouth, but the wine never quite reached his lips. Every worry he had had in his mind vanished, leaving him content to enjoy the view in front of him.
And what a lovely view it was. Gwyn had silently exited the bathing room, stopping in the middle of the doorway when her eyes met Azriel’s. Clad in only the turquoise negligee and matching black underthings he had bought her weeks ago, Gwyn was stunning. She was always stunning but seeing her like this made his body ache for her.
“I thought we could play chess,” he blurted, gesturing vaguely at the table behind him. She giggled softly, slowly walking over to him and gently placing her hands on his bare chest. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly bone dry.
“Okay,” she said simply, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek before depositing herself in the plush armchair across from his. He forced his body to move, plopping down in his chair and handing her the glass of wine he had poured, a fresh wave of anxiety filling him. He wanted to get this right so much it hurt, but he was terrified he’d mess it up.
“Your move, Gwyn,” he nodded at the board, taking a deep gulp of wine while she studied her pieces. With one simple move, she started the game, forcing him to try and concentrate. And just like that, they fell into a comfortable silence, only occasionally speaking as the game progressed.
Before he knew it, an hour had passed, the two of them locked in a battle of skill to win the chess match. He had already decided he didn’t care if he won or lost; all he cared about was getting his hands on her, and his mouth, and his tongue. The sight of her was driving him insane; he wanted her.
But, unfortunately, she hadn’t made a single move that didn’t involve a chess piece. He was torn between wanting to throw the chess board to the side to pounce on her and wanting to let her decide how tonight progressed. It only seemed right to let her make the first move, to choose what she wanted from him.
While they had kissed and touched before, this was the first truly sexual experience she’d likely have with a male depending on what happened. He wanted it to be a good one. For it to be exactly what she wanted. The only problem was that he didn’t know what she wanted.
"Your move, Azriel," she said quietly, a teasing note in her voice, breaking him from his musings. "Or are you going to admit defeat??
"Never," he chuckled, refocusing on the chess board in front of him.
"Then move," she laughed, grinning at him. "You've been staring at the board forever. I thought you had fallen asleep."
He smiled, refusing to admit that his eyes had not been on the board. After a moment, he made his move. Not caring if it improved his chances of winning or not. He was more worried about the excellent vantage point he currently held, one that offered the ideal angle to take in every glorious inch of her exposed skin.
She looked utterly relaxed, sitting with one leg tucked under her and one knee up, leaning her chin on her raised knee. The position allowed him to see a positively indecent amount of her bare legs, all the way to the lacy underthings she wore. A sight that was seriously bringing the limits of his self-control into question.
He shifted in his seat, attempting to subtly adjust himself in his pants. He knew there was no hiding how hard he was, but he didn't want it to be completely obvious how turned on he was. He didn't want her to think he had lost all his restraint, even if he was currently imagining getting on his knees and tracing every inch of those gorgeous legs with his tongue. He wanted her closer. He needed to feel her body wrapped around his, her creamy skin under his hands.
"Az, it's your turn again," Gwyn softly giggled, shocking him out of his thoughts for the second time. "You're so distracted."
"I am not," he weakly argued, blindly moving his knight to a position he knew might lose him the match. He didn't care about the game anymore. All he could think about was her.
"If you say so," she smirked, studying the board again. He returned to his own studies, his mind instantly wandering back to the wicked things he wanted to do to her.
Did she realize that she was fully exposing her legs to him? Was she aware that he could see every inch of the black lace that barely covered her sex? She had to be. How could she not know? Gods, she was so fucking sexy. He knew he should look elsewhere, but he couldn't rip his eyes away. She looked like something out of the most delicious wet dream.
He couldn't stop thinking about how she might look if he slowly, carefully, pulled those sinful underthings off. If he traced his tongue along the areas that were currently covered by lace. He wanted to hear her moan again like she had in the woods the other night. He wanted to taste her, to feel her body trembling with need against him. Hell, he just wanted her closer than she currently was. The small table between them suddenly felt huge.
He needed to touch her, to feel her soft, warm body pressing against his. He wanted to forget about chess and focus on more interesting activities. Like finding out what she sounded like when she orgasmed. Or learning if she would enjoy having his fingers buried in her while he kissed her senseless. He wanted to find out every possible way to have her moaning his name and begging him for more.
"Azriel, did I do something wrong?" Gwyn suddenly asked timidly, shocking him once again. A blush faintly colored her cheeks, her eyelashes lowered as she looked at him.
"What?" He said blankly, utterly confused. What could she have possibly done wrong? “Gwyn, honey why are you asking that?”
“Because…you haven’t tried anything,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing crimson. “I thought…I thought you would have by now. I…did I do something?”
"Oh fuck!" He gaped, understanding washing over him like a flood of icy water. Shit. She had wanted him to make the first move. "You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…I didn’t want to rush you.”
“You’re not rushing me,” she assured him, fidgeting with the chess piece in front of her. “I want this. I was just hoping you would take the lead because…well, I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
He blinked, slowly processing her words. He rubbed a hand across his face, huffing a laugh. “I’m so sorry, Bird. I feel like an idiot. I'm not normally this oblivious in the bedroom, I promise.”
She laughed softly, a smile finally spreading across her face, the freckles on her nose scrunching in the way he loved. “You're not an idiot. I appreciate you being so careful, I do. But…I don’t want you to treat me like I’m fragile.”
“Gwyn, honey,” he sighed, brushing through his hair in frustration. Of course she would think that. “Gwyneth, this…that’s not why I haven’t made a move yet. Please don’t think that.”
“Then why haven’t you?” She pressed, her voice holding a hint of defensiveness. He couldn’t blame her; he really had been a fool. Of course she would want him to take the lead, he had far more experience than her.
“I wanted to let you decide how tonight went,” he explained, leaning across the table to brush his hand along her wrist. “I wanted this to be perfect. That’s all. And honestly… I’m a little nervous myself.”
“Oh,” she mumbled, slowly lowering her leg from where it was currently bent in front of her. “You’re nervous too?”
He nodded, tracing circles across her wrist delicately, praying he hadn’t ruined their night. “Yes, Bird. Very nervous.”
“Why?”
“Because…I…I’ve never been with someone I care about this much. I don’t want to mess it up,” he slowly admitted, a blush of his own creeping up his neck. He averted his gaze, pulling away and rolling the stem of his wine glass between his fingers.
A moment later, Gwyn was sliding into his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck. He looked up at her, hesitantly placing his hands around her waist and drawing her closer. She smiled softly, kissing him with such tenderness it made his heart yearn for her. How was this gorgeous female his?
“Azriel, you’re not going to mess this up,” she assured him when she pulled away, brushing her thumb along his jaw. “I trust you. I want you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He studied her, slowly letting her words sink in. Then he nodded, allowing himself to finally enjoy this. To sink into the feeling of just being with her. They both wanted this, so why the hell was he so worried?
“Okay,” he conceded, steadily relaxing the longer he held her in his arms. He had wanted to find out what made this beautiful female moan for months, and she was currently a willing participant, so it was about damn time he made a move. But first, they needed boundaries. She was new to this; he wouldn’t take one more step forward without drawing very clear lines.
“Gwyn, honey, before we do anything else, I want to make something very clear,” he firmly said, holding her patient gaze. “Whatever we do, it only goes as far as you feel safe with. And if, at any moment, you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me and I will stop. It doesn't matter what we're doing or how far we go. If I do something you don't like or you are uncomfortable at all. Tell me and I will stop. Okay?"
She nodded obediently, the scent of her arousal slowly drifting up to him. He quickly kissed her, unable to resist, then pulled back again.
"You can also tell me if you do like something," he encouraged her, brazenly stroking her outer thigh. She felt so damn good. "I'm willing to do anything you want. Just tell me."
“Okay, I will,” she agreed quickly, her chest heaving, her breasts pushing against the thin fabric of her negligee with each breath. Her eyes were full of desire, her skin flushed a beautiful pink. And she was so temptingly soft in his arms. Fuck. He needed her.
“One more thing, and I don’t want you to forget this,” he forced himself to keep talking, knowing that once he started kissing her he wouldn’t be able to stop. “Whenever we’re being…intimate, if you’re uncomfortable, but you can’t find the words to tell me, I want you to scratch my wing right below the talon. Can you do that?”
“Yes, but won’t it hurt, Az?” She questioned, seeming hesitant, a small crease forming on her forehead. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. It will sting for a second, but it’s fine. I would rather deal with that than do something you’re not completely comfortable with. Okay?” He didn’t care if it did hurt, he wouldn’t allow her to feel unsafe with him for even a moment.
“Okay, if you’re sure,” she agreed, her fingers lightly stroking the back of his neck. He shivered, desperate to feel her even closer. He released his hold on her, bringing a startled look to her face. He smiled, letting his desire finally rise to the surface.
“Now, how about we start figuring out what makes you feel good, Bird?” He drawled, his lips curling into a seductive smile. Her thighs noticeably clenched in his lap, filling him with satisfaction and desire. She was his, completely his.
“How?” She breathed, her nipples peaking beneath the fabric of her negligee. He licked his lips, eagerly anticipating everything to come. He was going to finally get to explore her body like he had wanted. Like he had craved. It was a godsdamn gift. She was a gift.
“Straddle me,” he commanded, his gaze dropping to her center as she moved off his lap. She didn’t hesitate before slowly crawling over him, her negligee riding to her waist just as he had anticipated, fully revealing her black lace panties. He gripped her waist with one hand, letting his other hand idly glide up and down her exposed thigh, reveling in how warm and soft she was.
“Tell me what you want,” he ordered, his voice dropping several octaves, his cock throbbing in his pants. He could sense her arousal, the scent of it combining with his and making him ravenous with need. She trembled slightly in his arms, her hands gripping his shoulders. He would do anything she wanted. Absolutely anything.
"Before I tell you what I want," she began, shyness and excitement mingling in her eyes. "Is there anything you want? Anything I should do?"
He blinked, the question taking him by surprise. She was so willing, so ready to open herself up to whatever he asked for. It made him throb beneath her. He was so damn lucky to call this female his. His brave, lovely Gwyneth.
"Let’s not worry about that right now," he said, refusing to take advantage of this moment. They had plenty of time to explore those things later. “I want to focus on you first. Is that all right?”
If she was willing to let him be the one to introduce her to the pleasures of the bedroom, then he wanted her to fully enjoy this first experience. His needs could come later. It was more than enough to simply experience this with her, to be the one that she was trusting with this. It didn't matter how far they went tonight, if it was just kissing or more, he was going to make it about her pleasure.
She slowly nodded, goosebumps erupting on her skin as he continued stroking her thigh. He was going to enjoy every damn second of this. He silently instructed some of his shadows to watch the hallway, ensuring they would be uninterrupted for the rest of the evening. He wouldn’t allow any distractions tonight.
"Now, why don’t you tell me what you’re craving," he offered, seduction creeping into his tone. Her thighs tightened against his legs, indicating his words had deepened her arousal. That knowledge alone was enough to drive him crazy. She was so unexpected, and so curious. It was intoxicating.
"I want you to kiss me," she breathlessly admitted, her eyes searching his face. "I want you to touch me, and I want to feel your hands on my skin."
He chuckled, tugging her body closer to his. He would gladly indulge her simple requests. “Your wish is my command, my lady.”
He barely gave her time to take a shuddering breath before his mouth was on hers, his restraint fully slipping. Her lips eagerly moved with his, opening for him when he began teasing her with his tongue. She moaned softly as he explored her mouth, his hands trailing up her sides, gripping at the thin fabric that separated them. Every sound she made went straight to his cock, his skin burning with desire. He had never felt something that felt so right, so natural, as having her in his arms, her mouth on his. He felt like he was home. He wanted this to last forever.
When she pulled away for air, he only paused for a moment to memorize the image of her flushed and needy on his lap, then he was trailing hot open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, nibbling at her skin as he worked his way down her throat, her back arching into him. As he dared to let his teeth bite into the base of her throat, his hands came up to her breasts, kneading the area just below them.
“Az,” she whimpered, her head falling onto his shoulder, her soft kisses along his neck punctuating her words. “Oh, that feels good. More please. More.”
He paused, surprise and curiosity on his face as he caught his breath. “Bird…which part felt good?”
She pulled her head back, hands buried in his hair as she met his gaze shyly. “Umm, both things you did. I…I liked both. Is that bad?”
“Not at all,” he assured her, dropping his hands to lightly squeeze her ass. She gasped, settling tighter against him. “I’m just shocked. That was the beginning of a hickey on your neck.”
“Oh…I liked it,” she reaffirmed, wiggling in his lap until her core was fully pressed against his throbbing erection. She let out an adorable sigh of satisfaction, then went back to softly kissing his neck, urging him on. Fuck. He was on fire. Every inch of his body burning with need, craving her touch, her taste, just her.
He was about to continue where he had left off but stopped again. “Gwyn?”
“Mm?” She murmured into his skin, her lips trailing up and down his throat.
“Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at the straps of her negligee. He needed to feel her closer, needed to feel her skin against his. She pulled back, meeting his hungry stare with a slightly shy one. He bit his lip, hands dropping to the bottom edge of her negligee as he waited for a response.
“Yes,” she agreed after a moment, slowly raising her arms above her head. He studied her face for a moment, looking for any anxiety, but found none.
He turned his attention to the negligee, gripping the hem and slowly dragging it up her body. Unlike the other night when he had helped her undress, he let his hands fully glide along her skin, savoring every inch of bare skin that he revealed. When he reached her breasts, he shifted his hands until his thumbs could brush just next to her peaked nipples, earning a delightful gasp from her. He bit back a groan, his cock twitching painfully as he took in the sight of her almost naked body.
As he inched the negligee over her head and tossed it to the ground, he let his hands roam across her back, reveling in the soft warmth of her, tracing the freckles that dotted her skin. She brought her hands back down to his shoulders, watching him explore her. He brought his hands around to her abdomen, reverently tracing the delicate scars there before slowly gliding toward her breasts. She was so fucking beautiful.
With a final look at her to make sure she was still enjoying this, he brought his hands up to her breasts, cupping them in his scarred hands. She sighed softly, her eyes fluttering shut as he gently kneaded her, experimenting to see what she liked the most. Her fingers scraped at his shoulders, urging him forward. He trailed one hand down to her hip, tugging her closer as his mouth came down to her exposed nipple.
She gasped, her grip tightening as he swirled his tongue around the swollen peak, sucking and pulling to see how she would react. She whimpered and clawed at him, every swirl of his tongue seeming to make her arch her back deeper into him. He continued kneading and teasing her with one hand while working her other breast with his mouth, occasionally nipping at her with his teeth and tugging on the sensitive bud. His shadows interrupted his focus, seeking permission and momentarily forcing his mouth to pull away slightly from her.
"Gwyn, my shadows want to touch you," he murmured pulling back to look at her, breathless and aching with lust. "Are you comfortable with that or would you prefer I keep them contained?”
"Oh. Um, please let them touch me," she breathed out, wonder and pure need shining in her eyes. He had never seen anything more stunning.
"All right. I won't let them wander anywhere too sensitive. I promise."
She nodded, her eyes fluttering shut again. He commanded his shadows to keep their distance, only allowing them to touch her in ways that would soothe her, like they normally would. It was too soon to introduce her to what his shadows were fully capable of in bed. He didn't want to overwhelm her.
As his shadows began an idle exploration of her, gentling caressing her pebbled skin, he let his mouth continue mapping her skin, working his way down her neck, savoring every inch of her. He had imagined doing this so many times, but nothing could compare to how it felt now. To have her in his arms, eagerly letting him taste her, letting him pleasure her. It was a dream. A perfect dream.
One hand on her hip, the other slowly kneading her breast, he trailed his tongue down her shoulder. Savoring the smooth skin, placing small kisses back up the path his tongue left. When he grazed his teeth across the base of her neck, she bucked her hips into him, her core pressing into his hard length. He could have exploded at the sensation, but it was nothing compared to the look that spread across her face. She hadn't planned the movement, he could tell, but it seemed to please her.
"Does it feel good when you grind against me like that, Sweetheart?" He asked, seeking her verbal approval. He wouldn't encourage her hips more if she didn't want it.
She moaned, nodding vigorously. “Yes. Oh gods, yes.”
He chuckled, satisfied she was enjoying herself. He turned his attention to her core, removing his hand from her breast and grasping her hips, gently coaxing her body back down. He pressed her center tightly against him and encouraged her to move, giving her the friction she needed. She moaned loudly, dropping her head onto his neck and gripping the hair at the nape of his neck.
Fuck, this felt good. She was so warm and pliant in his arms. And gods, the way she was rocking against him felt perfect. If she kept grinding on him like this, he was going to cum in his pants, and he didn’t want that right now. He wanted this to be about her.
He forced himself to stop her for a moment, ignoring her cry of frustration when he pulled her back. A moment later, her annoyance turned to pleasure when he shifted her in his lap, lifting her until she was no longer straddling his waist. Instead, he sat her on one of his thighs, bringing her tightly against him. His cock throbbed at the sight of her perched on his leg, her warmth seeping into his thigh.
A small look of hesitation filled her eyes, so he leaned up to kiss her softly, gripping her hips firmly to encourage her to move. She hesitantly obeyed, experimentally grinding against his thigh with his help, gasping slightly at the new sensation. She pulled away, stopping her movements and meeting his eyes nervously.
“I’m not sure what to do,” she whispered, chest heaving with each breath. “It…it feels good, but I…I’m not sure if I’m doing this right.”
“It’s okay, honey. You’re doing so well,” he soothed her, moving one hand to softly rub her back in sweeping strokes. “Do you want me to help you find a rhythm?”
She nodded, her hands gliding across his shoulders. He smiled, kissing her jaw before gripping her hips again. Her back arched slightly, her eyes closing as he began moving her against him, helping her ride his thigh. He ignored the aching in his cock, focusing on how gorgeous she looked in his lap, slowly coming undone for him.
He continued the movements until she found a pattern and was moving on her own. He watched her rock her hips slowly against him for a moment, a blissful expression on her face, then he returned to his exploration of her neck and breasts, her sounds of pleasure making him groan in satisfaction. He had always enjoyed pleasuring his partners, watching them unravel at his touch, but this was completely different. He had never felt anything like this, and he never wanted it to end.
He placed a soft kiss in the valley between her breasts before circling one nipple, then the other, with his tongue. At the added sensation, she bucked harder, digging her hands into his shoulders and drawing a groan from him. As he made lazy trails with his tongue, following behind with his lips, he began to suspect that she was close.
His shadows confirmed it a moment later, whispering in his ear as she continued grinding into him. Her movements combined with his lazy oral exploration of her body was bringing her close to climaxing. He wanted to help her over the edge, but he hesitated. It was happening faster than he had expected, so he wasn’t sure she was ready yet. He wanted to be careful this time not to push her farther than she was ready, to make her feel safe. Which is why he kept a firm grip on his own desire, forcing himself to slow down.
He placed his hands on her hips, taking back control of her movements, and slowed her steady pace until she was barely moving. She met his gaze, her cheeks flushed and her eyes full of need as she desperately tried to buck her hips, but he held her firmly, keeping her movements controlled.
"Sweetheart, are you close?" He needed to hear her confirm it. Needed to know if he was reading her reactions right or not. It was important now, but it would be even more important later. If he wasn’t reading her correctly now, than he wouldn’t dare take things further with her.
"I think so," she gasped out between shaking breaths.
"Do you want to, Bird? Do you want me to help you cum? You don't have to say yes,” he promised her, fighting his own desire to feel her climaxing around him. He would do anything to make her feel good, but he knew he needed to go slow for her.
"I want to. I want it. Please." She half sobbed as she continued trying to grind against him.
He nodded, accepting her response. He released his grip on her hips, allowing her to return to her soft rhythm. She moaned loudly as her clothed sex made contact with his firm thigh again, her head falling back while she began rocking her hips once more. Her skin was flushed, every thrust of her hips telling him just how turned on she was.
Even through the layers of fabric still separating them, he could feel how wet she had gotten. She was soaked, leaving an area of moisture on his pants. The increasing moisture on his leg made him want to rip her panties to the side so he could properly feel her, but he could tell she wasn’t ready for that yet. Exploring that part of her would have to wait; for now, he simply wanted to help her find release. He gripped her hips, encouraging her movements, trying to drive her over the edge.
His shadows traced soft lines up and down her back and caressed her face, soothing her while he focused on pleasuring her. He had considered the fact that this was likely her first time climaxing with a male, and he was determined to make sure she felt comfortable doing so. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t going to cum, he just wanted her to be satisfied.
He watched her for another moment, then began sucking on her breasts again. He took a swollen nipple into his mouth, gently tugging with his teeth. She dug into his shoulders again, her moans once again filling the room as she drew closer to orgasming. He repeated the gesture, overwhelmed by satisfaction as she continued moaning and panting with every nip of his teeth.
In between his explorations, he kept a close watch on her, occasionally looking up to make sure she was all right. He could tell she was so damn close, teetering on the edge of ecstasy. Her face was filled with pleasure, but there was a hint of hesitation, a small crease between her brows as she met his gaze.
He was fairly certain she was nervous about climaxing for the first time, which only made him want to please her more. He kissed her deeply, wanting to show her how much he was enjoying this. He would make her feel safe enough to let go, safe enough to be completely vulnerable with him.
"It's alright, Sweetheart," he reassured her, gripping her thighs and pulling her tighter against him while she bucked her hips. "You can let go. It’s okay."
"I...I don’t…I don’t know if I can,” she tumbled out, desperation in her tone. He increased the pace of her thrusts, guiding her to ride him faster. “Az, please. I…I…I need help. Please. I’m scared. Please.”
"It's okay," he said, steadily rocking her hips against his leg and softly kissing her cheeks, giving her the encouragement she needed. "It's okay. I’m right here, honey. I’m right here. Just let go.”
He brazenly reached one hand between them, the other still helping guide her. He glided his hand along the top of her panties until he reached the spot just above her clit, then he began steadily rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves through the fabric, her wetness seeping through the thin cloth. Fuck, she was soaked. She gasped and bucked, shocked by the added pleasure point.
“Is this okay, Sweetheart?” He questioned, not increasing the pressure of his fingers until he knew she was okay with it. She frantically nodded, grinding her hips wildly into his palm. “I need you to say it, honey. Try to talk to me, Gwyn”
“Yes,” she gasped, gripping his shoulders so tightly it stung. But he wasn’t about to stop her, not when she was so fucking close he could feel her core throbbing against him. “More, please. Oh gods, Azriel. Please. I’m so close. I’m so close, Az.”
"That's it, Sweetheart," he breathed in her ear, verbally trying to help her along. "You're doing so well. You're doing so fucking well. Just look at how hard I am, Bird. It's all because of you."
His words sent her grinding erratically, all control slipping. He kept rubbing circles on her sensitive clit, groaning as her wetness slowly coated his fingers through her panties, nibbling at her neck with his mouth to keep himself grounded. Her moans grew louder, filling the room with her sounds of ecstasy, her fingertips digging into the skin on his back.
The sight of her thrusting against him was almost enough to make him cum in his pants, but he resisted the urge. He wouldn't lose control, not when she needed him like this. She needed to know he could stay calm, that it was safe to be at her most vulnerable, her most exposed. He didn’t care if it took her all night to finally climax, he was determined to make this all about her.
As he continued coaxing her toward the edge, his fingers pressing into her clit, her body suddenly shuddered, pleasure exploding through her. She cried out his name as her orgasm washed over her, her head falling onto his shoulder. He continued rubbing against her throbbing clit, helping her ride out the climax, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her. As her body slowly stopped shaking, he gently pushed her hips into him a few more times, easing her through the final moments of pleasure.
When her body slowly relaxed, collapsing against him, he eased his hand out from between them to stroke her back, cradling her to his chest. As her breathing evened out, he gently pulled her head back so he could see her. Her eyes were shut while he stroked her side, a glazed expression coloring her features. His shadows softly caressed her face, her arms, her legs; once again soothing her.
"Bird, talk to me," he murmured, worry flaring. He needed to make sure she was okay, that she had enjoyed what had happened. He wouldn’t be able to relax until he knew she was all right, that she felt safe and happy. "Gwyn, please, I need you to talk to me."
She sighed softly, her eyes slowly opening. "I’m not sure I’m capable of speech right now.”
He let out a strangled laugh, relieved that she was responding. “That happens sometimes.”
As he looked at her, the flush on her cheeks deepened. "I wasn't expecting that to happen," she shyly admitted, concern clouding her eyes. "Was that okay? I know it was probably strange. I -"
He cut her off with a thorough kiss, leisurely tasting her before calmly putting her mind at rest. "It was perfect. It wasn't strange at all. Your body reacted naturally to what you were experiencing."
"But...I didn't do anything for you."
"I already told you, I wanted this to be about you. Besides, you did plenty,” he whispered in her ear, gently smoothing her hair down. She was all flushed and breathless and rumpled; she looked gorgeous. “Having you climax in my arms was more than enough."
She finally smiled at him, her shyness disappearing as he let his fingers glide against her bare thigh, earning him a small sigh of satisfaction in response. He loved how responsive she was to him. It was unexpected and perfect all at the same time. He pulled back to look at her face again, worry clouding his happiness for a moment.
"Are you okay though?" He asked, slightly unsure of himself. "Did I take things too far? Did you...did you enjoy yourself?"
"It was perfect," she sighed, her eyes sparkling as she leaned her forehead against his. "I enjoyed every second. You made me feel absolutely wonderful."
"Good." Hearing those words made his chest explode with happiness and pride. Satisfied that she was satisfied, he tucked his face into her neck, content to just hold her for a few moments.
"Next time, how about we try it without these on," he teasingly tugged the hem of her panties, for emphasis, drawing a giggle out of her. "Would that be okay?"
"Mmmm," she eagerly nodded, running her hands through his hair. Fuck. Could he be anymore lucky? "That would very much be okay.”
He grinned, bringing his mouth to hers then scooping her up into his arms. She let out a squeal, clinging to his shoulders while he carried her to bed. He pulled back the covers, then deposited her on the mattress, letting his lips linger before pulling away. She smiled softly, her eyes darting to his throbbing erection, then back up to his face.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t…you know?” She asked, a flush coloring her cheeks again. He shook his head, sensing her mild anxiety. He would teach her about pleasuring him later, when she was ready. For now, he was content with the images of her coming undone on his leg to keep himself satisfied.
“I’m sure, Gwyneth. It’s okay,” he assured her, kissing her on her temple before backing away toward the bathing room. “I’ll take care of it. Close your eyes, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
She nodded, settling deeper under the covers while he disappeared into his bathing room. He barely had the door shut behind him before he had his pants undone and his cock free, precum practically dripping from the tip. He wrapped his fist around his length, biting his lip to stifle the groan that crawled up his throat. He had pleasured himself to fantasies of Gwyn before, but this was different. This time, it wasn’t a fantasy, and that made him feel almost wild with lust.
He began pumping himself quickly, too on edge to take it slow. He let his mind fill with images of Gwyn, the gorgeous memory of her coming undone bringing him easily closer to his own climax. It only took a few more quick thrusts before his orgasm crashed over him, drawing a strangled moan from his lips.
He leaned against the door, catching his breath before grabbing a damp cloth to clean himself up. Once he was satisfied he didn’t look totally dazed with pleasure, he finished readying himself for bed and strode out, blowing out the few candles he had lit earlier.
Gwyn was already half dozing in his bed, a contented little smile on her full lips. He watched her for a second, then crawled into bed with her, smiling when she blinked up at him and curled into his side, her leg immediately draping over his.
“Better?” She murmured, tenderly kissing his jaw. He leaned into her touch, wrapping his arms around her, a ridiculously happy grin plastered on his face.
“Much better,” he confirmed, kissing the top of her head. She let out a happy hum, burrowing deeper against him, her head tucked into his shoulder. He sighed in contentment, pure joy and satisfaction coursing through him. This was bliss.
“Azriel?”
“Yes, Gwyn?”
“Tonight was perfect,” she quietly said, her lips grazing the sensitive skin on his shoulder. He leaned back to meet her gaze, only to find her eyes already closed, that happy smile still on her face. He settled back into the pillows, stroking her back as he closed his eyes.
He hummed his agreement, sleep already beginning to claim him. She was right, tonight had been perfect. Better than he could have dreamed. He couldn’t wait to explore more with her, to find out every possible way to satisfy her. Tonight was only the beginning.
Gwyn and Azriel spend an intimate evening playing chess as they finally take the next small step in their relationship.
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Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Mild smut. Steamy. NSFW.Â
Word Count: 6,122
Masterlist
Gwyn stared at herself in the mirror, carefully smoothing the silk of her negligee until it was lying perfectly smooth across her skin. Despite the fact that she had no idea what was about to happen, she was oddly calm. She knew she was safe. Azriel would be with her the whole time, no matter what happened.
He had already been more than attentive tonight, helping her relax before they came to his room. They had just returned from Velaris, having spent the night at dinner and then wandering the city until she was ready to come home. He had been patient the entire time, never once making her feel rushed or pressured to move faster. It had helped her calm most of her nerves, allowing her to simply enjoy being with him.
Now, as she took a final steadying breath before walking into the bedroom, she was nervous but excited. They had already established that tonight would not involve sex, but she knew it would be more than just their normal kissing. The thought made her almost giddy. She knew Azriel would go at her pace, even if that meant they didn’t go any further than kissing. She could trust him, even with the things she feared the most.
With that thought in her head, she walked out of the bathing room, pausing in the middle of the doorway when her eyes found Azriel. His hand was poised with a wineglass halfway to his mouth, his jaw going slack as his eyes roamed her body. Clad in only the turquoise negligee and matching black underthings he had bought her weeks ago, Gwyn was far more exposed than normal. And Azriel seemed to like it.
“I thought we could play chess,” he blurted, gesturing vaguely at the table behind him. She giggled softly, slowly walking over to him and gently placing her hands on his bare chest. He visibly swallowed, his jaw working furiously as he watched her.
“Okay,” she said simply, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek before depositing herself in the plush armchair across from his. She bit back a smile as she watched him plop into his own chair, handing her a glass of wine in the process. She took a tentative sip, ignoring his penetrating gaze and turning her eyes to the gameboard in front of her.
“Your move, Gwyn,” Azriel nodded at the board, taking a deep gulp of wine while she studied her pieces. With one simple move, she started the game, forcing them both to focus. And just like that, they fell into a comfortable silence, only occasionally speaking as the game progressed.
Before she knew it, an hour had passed, the two of them locked in a battle of skill to win the chess match. As the game progressed, her anxiety grew. She had expected him to do something by now, but he had remained resolutely on his side of the table, which had made her increasingly worried.
She forced herself to stay calm, attempting to appear as relaxed as possible even while butterflies erupted in her stomach. She wanted him so much, but she had no idea where to start. He was looking at her with obvious hunger in his eyes, yet he hadn’t attempted to do anything with her yet.
"Your move, Azriel," she said quietly, forcing a teasing note in her voice so he wouldn’t notice how nervous she had become. "Or are you going to admit defeat?”
"Never," he chuckled, focusing on the chess board in front of him.
"Then move," she laughed, grinning at him despite her frustration. "You've been staring at the board forever. I thought you had fallen asleep."
He smiled but said nothing else. She was certain he had not been paying attention to the board, but even when he was distracted, his poker face was unmatched. Yet she was certain he wasn’t nearly as interested in the chess match as he seemed.
She was sitting with one leg tucked under her and one knee up, leaning her chin on her raised knee, and she could feel his eyes on her. Yet every time she looked at him, he averted his gaze. It was only the occasional shifting in his seat and the subtle adjustments of the growing bulge in his pants that confirmed her suspicions. He was aroused. Very aroused. But he still hadn’t done anything, and she couldn’t figure out why. It was driving her crazy.
"Az, it's your turn again," Gwyn softly giggled when he once again tried adjusting himself. "You're so distracted."
"I am not," he weakly argued, quickly moving his knight without his normal careful strategizing.
"If you say so," she smirked, studying the board again with increasing frustration.
She could once again feel his eyes on her, but she kept her gaze on the table, a mixture of arousal and anxiety flowing through her. She wanted him to touch her, to show her all the things she had only dreamt about. She wanted his strong body holding her, his scarred hands exploring every inch of her skin. But he still hadn’t made a single move.
"Azriel, did I do something wrong?" Gwyn finally asked timidly, unable to stop herself from fearing the worst. He looked startled, which brought a blush to her cheeks. She lowered her gaze, looking at him through her lashes while she anxiously awaited his response.
"What?" He said blankly, seeming caught off guard. “Gwyn, honey why are you asking that?”
“Because…you haven’t tried anything,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing crimson. “I thought…I thought you would have by now. I…did I do something?”
"Oh fuck!" He gaped, understanding dawning across his handsome features. "You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…I didn’t want to rush you.”
“You’re not rushing me,” she assured him, fidgeting with the chess piece in front of her. “I want this. I was just hoping you would take the lead because…well, I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
He blinked, slowly processing her words. He rubbed a hand across his face, huffing a laugh. “I’m so sorry, Bird. I feel like an idiot. I'm not normally this oblivious in the bedroom, I promise.”
She laughed softly, a smile spreading across her face. Her nerves eased, his soothing voice calming her. “You're not an idiot. I appreciate you being so careful, I do. But…I don’t want you to treat me like I’m fragile.”
“Gwyn, honey,” he sighed, brushing through his hair with obvious exasperation. “Gwyneth, this…that’s not why I haven’t made a move yet. Please don’t think that.”
“Then why haven’t you?” She pressed, her voice taking on a hint of defensiveness. She had been sitting here for more than an hour in nothing but a negligee - she deserved an explanation.
“I wanted to let you decide how tonight went,” he explained, leaning across the table to brush his hand along her wrist. “I wanted this to be perfect. That’s all. And, honestly…I’m a little nervous myself.”
“Oh,” she mumbled in surprise, slowly lowering her leg from where it was bent in front of her. “You’re nervous too?”
He nodded, tracing circles across her wrist. “Yes, Bird. Very nervous.”
“Why?” Of all the answers she could have fathomed, this was not one she had expected. He was so experienced that she had never imagined he would be nervous.
“Because…I…I’ve never been with someone I care about this much. I don’t want to mess it up,” he slowly admitted, a blush of his own creeping up his neck. He averted his gaze, pulling away and rolling the stem of his wine glass between his fingers.
She blinked slowly, her anxiety fading. It was so rare to see him unsure of himself that it somehow calmed her. To know he was as nervous as she was filled her heart with an ache that she was slowly becoming familiar with, even if she wasn’t ready to name it yet.
She slowly moved out of her seat, quietly walking around the table and sliding into his lap. He looked up as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands hesitantly going around her waist to pull her closer. She smiled softly, kissing him tenderly and trying to communicate everything she felt with the simple kiss.
“Azriel, you’re not going to mess this up,” she assured him when she pulled away, brushing her thumb along his jaw. “I trust you. I want you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He studied her for a long moment, then he slowly nodded, his body relaxing against hers. She breathed a sigh of relief, glad they were finally getting somewhere. She wasn’t sure she could handle being so close to him any longer without having his hands on her.
“Okay,” he conceded, his eyes softening the longer he held her. Eager anticipation filled her, her body thrumming with need and want. She was about to kiss him, but he seemed to have other ideas, suddenly turning serious again.
“Gwyn, honey, before we do anything else, I want to make something very clear,” he firmly said, holding her gaze. “Whatever we do, it only goes as far as you feel safe with. And if, at any moment, you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me and I will stop. It doesn't matter what we're doing or how far we go. If I do something you don't like or you are uncomfortable at all. Tell me and I will stop. Okay?"
She nodded obediently, her arousal only growing at his thoughtful considerations. He was hers, completely hers. He quickly kissed her, the small gesture melting her even further, then he pulled back again.
"You can also tell me if you do like something," he encouraged, brazenly stroking her outer thigh. A shiver ran up her spine. "I'm willing to do anything you want. Just tell me."
“Okay, I will,” she agreed, her chest heaving, her breasts pushing against the thin fabric of her negligee. Her body was burning with desire, warmth building in her core, a flush spreading across her skin. It felt strange and wonderful at the same time.
“One more thing, and I don’t want you to forget this,” he firmly stated, forcing her to stay focused for a moment longer. “Whenever we’re being…intimate, if you’re uncomfortable, but you can’t find the words to tell me, I want you to scratch my wing right below the talon. Can you do that?”
“Yes, but won’t it hurt, Az?” She questioned, eager to continue but hesitant to do as he asked. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. It will sting for a second, but it’s fine,” he promised her, calmly soothing her worries. “I would rather deal with that than do something you’re not completely comfortable with. Okay?”
“Okay, if you’re sure,” she agreed, her fingers lightly stroking the back of his neck. She felt him shiver, but then he unexpectedly released her, confusing her. He smiled, his desire fully evident in his hazel eyes.
“Now, how about we start figuring out what makes you feel good, Bird?” He drawled, his lips curling into a seductive smile. Her thighs clenched in his lap, her body flooding with warmth. Gods she wanted him.
“How?” She breathed, her nipples peaking beneath the fabric of her negligee. He licked his lips, the gesture making her almost weak with excitement. She felt like she was on fire, every nerve in her body hypersensitive to everything around her.
“Straddle me,” he commanded roughly, his gaze dropping to her center as she moved off his lap. She didn’t hesitate before slowly crawling over him, not bothering to adjust her negligee as it rode up to her waist to fully reveal her black lace panties. He gripped her waist with one hand, his other hand idly caressing her exposed thigh.
“Tell me what you want,” he ordered, his voice dropping several octaves, his hardened length throbbing mere inches from her aching core. She trembled slightly in his arms, her hands gripping his shoulders.
"Before I tell you what I want," she began, shyness and excitement mingling in her eyes. "Is there anything you want? Anything I should do?"
He blinked, the question seeming to surprise him. He had been so patient with her, so careful. She wanted to offer him something in return. Even if she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready for whatever he might ask for.
"Let’s not worry about that right now," he said, not taking advantage of her offer, much to her surprise. “I want to focus on you first. Is that all right?”
A small wave of relief washed over her. She wanted him, and she wanted to learn how to pleasure him, but a large part of her knew she wasn’t totally ready to take that step yet. That she needed more time. He seemed to sense that, even though she had just offered to do whatever he wanted, and she couldn’t be more grateful. How had she gotten so lucky to call this male hers?
She slowly nodded, goosebumps erupting on her skin as he continued stroking her thigh. The simple motion of his hand on her body was enough to make her almost moan with pleasure. This felt right, it felt natural. Like this was exactly where she belonged.
"Now, why don’t you tell me what you’re craving," he offered, seduction creeping into his voice. Her thighs tightened against his legs, her arousal deepening at his utterly intoxicating tone.
"I want you to kiss me," she breathlessly admitted, her eyes searching his face. She wasn’t sure how to explain what she wanted, but she knew she wanted him closer. "I want you to touch me, and I want to feel your hands on my skin."
He chuckled, tugging her body tighter to his. “Your wish is my command, my lady.”
He barely gave her time to take a shuddering breath before his mouth was on hers, his restraint seeming to completely slip. She melted into him, her lips eagerly moving with his, opening for him when he began teasing her with his tongue. She moaned softly as he explored her mouth, his hands trailing up her sides, gripping at the thin fabric that separated them. This kiss felt different, deeper somehow, like they had both fallen into something they had no desire to come back from.
When she pulled away for air, he only paused for a moment before claiming her further, then he was trailing hot open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, nibbling at her skin as he worked his way down her throat. Her back arched into him, her legs trembling as she tried to catch her breath. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly feel any more aroused, his teeth dug into the base of her throat as his hands came up to her breasts, kneading the area just below them.
“Az,” she whimpered, her head falling onto his shoulder as a burst of pleasure shot through her. She trailed soft kisses along his neck, punctuating her words. “Oh, that feels good. More please. More.”
She didn’t care if she sounded needy, she just wanted him to do more of what he had just done. She needed more. Desperately.
He paused, surprise and curiosity in his voice. “Bird…which part felt good?”
She pulled her head back, hands buried in his hair as she met his gaze shyly. “Umm, both things you did. I…I liked both. Is that bad?”
“Not at all,” he assured her, dropping his hands to lightly squeeze her ass. She gasped, settling tighter against him. “I’m just shocked. That was the beginning of a hickey on your neck.”
“Oh…I liked it,” she reaffirmed, shivering under the weight of his desire filled gazed. She experimentally wiggled in his lap until her core was fully pressed against the hard bulge in his pants, letting out a sigh of satisfaction at having him so close. Then she went back to softly kissing his neck, urging him to continue.
“Gwyn?” He asked, pausing once more.
“Mm?” She murmured into his skin, her lips trailing up and down his throat. She couldn’t seem to get enough of his taste, his body, everything. She needed to feel him everywhere.
“Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at the straps of her negligee. She pulled back, meeting his hungry stare with a slightly shy one. She still wasn’t used to being completely exposed to him, but the softness in his face, seeping through the desire, reassured her. Azriel would never make her feel uncomfortable.
He bit his lip, hands dropping to the bottom of her negligee as he waited for a response. She watched him, memorizing the way he looked in that moment, so patient even when he was clearly fighting his own needs and wants. It made her heart ache.
“Yes,” she agreed, slowly raising her arms above her head.
He studied her face for a moment, then he turned his attention to the negligee, gripping the hem and slowly dragging it up her body. Unlike the other night when he had helped her undress, his hands fully glided along her skin, sending fresh waves of goosebumps across her body. When he reached her breasts, he shifted his hands until his thumbs brushed just next to her peaked nipples, earning a gasp from her.
As he inched the negligee over her head and tossed it to the ground, his hands roamed across her back. She reveled in his touch, eager to feel him closer, to finally experience all the things she had thought about. She brought her hands back down to his shoulders, watching him explore her slowly.
He brought his hands to her abdomen, tracing the delicate scars there before slowly gliding toward her breasts. She shivered again, her thighs clenching around him. She had never known that having someone deliberately touch her scars could be so attractive, but having Azriel do it made her want to completely unravel for him.
With a final look at her, he brought his hands to her breasts, finally cupping them in his large hands. She sighed softly, her eyes fluttering shut as he gently kneaded her, an aching relief washing over her. Gods this felt good. Her fingers scraped at his shoulders, urging him forward, desperate for more. He trailed one hand down to her hip, tugging her closer as his mouth came down to her exposed nipple.
She gasped loudly, her grip tightening on him as he swirled his tongue around the swollen peak, sucking and pulling at her sensitive bud. He continued exploring her, kneading and teasing her with one hand while working her other breast with his mouth, occasionally nipping at her with his teeth and tugging on her swollen peaks.
She thought she might explode with the amount of pleasure coursing through her. She knew she had always had sensitive breasts, but the way he was touching her was making her positively tremble with need and ecstasy. She had never thought she would experience this, and now that she was, she never wanted to stop.
"Gwyn, my shadows want to touch you," he murmured. pulling back to look at her. "Are you comfortable with that or would you prefer I keep them contained?”
"Oh. Um, please let them touch me," she breathed out, wonder and pure need shining in her eyes. She wanted everything. She wanted to experience every single ounce of pleasure Azriel could show her.
"All right. I won't let them wander anywhere too sensitive. I promise,” he assured her quietly, his face full of need, his eyes slightly glazed.
She nodded, her eyes fluttering shut, almost moaning when his shadows began softly caressing her body, adding to the delicious sensations their master was already causing. Gods, she had no idea it could be like this. They had hardly done anything, yet it was already a thousand times better than anything she had read or dreamt of. This was pure, unadulterated bliss.
As his shadows idly touched her, gently caressing her pebbled skin, his mouth continued roaming her body, working his way down her neck. She gripped him tightly, clinging to him to keep herself steady, her thighs clenching over and over again as she unconsciously sought friction.
One hand on her hip, the other slowly kneading her breast, he trailed his tongue down her shoulder. He placed small kisses back up the path his tongue left, while she alternated between gripping his hair and clinging to his shoulders and back. When he grazed his teeth across the base of her neck, she bucked her hips into him, bringing her a burst of pleasure. She hadn't planned the movement, which made her slightly nervous, but the feeling it gave her drowned out any anxiety she felt.
"Does it feel good when you grind against me like that, Sweetheart?" Azriel asked, his deep honeyed tone completely undoing her.
She moaned, nodding vigorously. “Yes. Oh gods, yes.”
He chuckled, seeming satisfied with himself. She didn’t have time to think before he turned his attention to her core, removing his hand from her breast and grasping her hips, gently coaxing her body back down. He pressed her core tightly against him and encouraged her to move, giving her the friction she needed. She moaned loudly as more pleasure spread through her, dropping her head onto his neck and gripping the hair at the nape of his neck.
No book could possibly have prepared her for just how incredible this would feel. Not even her own hesitant explorations on her own compared to this. She could only imagine what it would be like if there weren’t several layers of clothing between them. She knew she wasn’t ready for that yet, but this alone was enough to make her crave his touch for the rest of eternity.
A moment later, her ecstasy was momentarily interrupted when he suddenly stopped. She involuntarily let out a cry of frustration, but it quickly turned to pleasure when he shifted her in his lap. Instead of straddling his waist, he moved her to one of his legs, positioning her on his thigh and tugging her tightly against him.
The friction was beyond incredible, but she was suddenly filled with hesitation, unsure of how to approach this new position. She had never read about this, nor had she been told by any of her friends that this was a normal thing to do.
But he quickly leaned up to kiss her softly, gripping her hips firmly to encourage her. She hesitantly obeyed, experimentally grinding against his thigh, gasping slightly at the new sensation. She pulled away a moment later, stopping her movements and meeting his eyes nervously, needing reassurance before continuing.
“I’m not sure what to do,” she whispered, chest heaving with each breath. “It…it feels good, but I…I’m not sure if I’m doing this right.”
“It’s okay, honey. You’re doing so well,” he soothed her, moving one hand to softly rub her back in sweeping strokes. “Do you want me to help you find a rhythm?”
She nodded, her hands sliding across his shoulders, tracing his tattoos. He smiled, kissing her jaw before gripping her hips again. Her back arched slightly, her eyes closing as he began moving her against him, helping her ride his thigh. The movement made her core positively throb with need, the wetness between her legs growing as she slowly found a rhythm that felt good.
He continued helping her until she found a pattern and was moving on her own. She closed her eyes, reveling in the sensations as she rocked her hips against him, each thrust filling her with ecstasy. She had never felt anything like this. Her inner walls were clenching around nothing, the pressure of his thigh against her clit making her almost want to beg for more.
When he returned to his exploration of her neck and breasts, her moans and gasps only grew louder, mixing with his small sounds of satisfaction. He placed a chaste kiss in the valley between her breasts before circling one nipple, then the other, with his tongue. At the added sensation, she bucked harder, digging her nails into his shoulders. As he made lazy trails with his tongue, following behind with his lips, she could feel herself drawing closer to the edge.
His shadows darted around her body, caressing her everywhere that Azriel wasn’t touching. Between her continued thrusting against him and his lazy oral exploration of her body, she was impossibly close. Surprise mingled with her arousal; she had never been this close to the edge this quickly.
Before she had time to overthink anything, he suddenly placed his hands on her hips, taking back control of her movements, and slowed her steady pace until she was barely moving. She met his gaze, her cheeks flushed and her eyes full of need as she desperately tried to buck her hips again.
"Sweetheart, are you close?" He asked, his voice rough and filled with desire.
"I think so," she gasped out between shaking breaths, her body trembling in his arms.
"Do you want to, Bird? Do you want me to help you cum? You don't have to say yes."
"I want to. I want it. Please." She half sobbed as she continued trying to grind against him. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to let him make her cum, to make her unravel entirely in his arms. She would do whatever he asked if it meant he helped her climax.
He nodded, accepting her response. He released his grip on her hips, allowing her to return to her soft rhythm. She moaned loudly as her clothed sex made contact with his firm thigh again, her head falling back while she began rocking her hips once more. She could feel his cock throbbing against her leg, the hard muscles of his leg grinding into her aching clit, increasing the warmth pooling in her center.
She was soaked, leaving an area of moisture on his pants, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel shy about it. She wanted him to know how much she wanted him, to see the way her body reacted to him and only him.
He gripped her hips again, encouraging her movements and pushing her closer to release. His shadows traced soft lines up and down her back and caressed her face, soothing her. She grew slightly nervous, fear at her impending climax blooming. She had never orgasmed with anyone. What if she got all the way to the edge, but couldn’t finish? What if she panicked?
He watched her for another moment, then began teasing her breasts again. He took a swollen nipple into his mouth, gently tugging with his teeth. She dug into his shoulders again, her moans filling the room as she drew closer to orgasming, her anxiety mixing with her pleasure.
She was so close, teetering on the edge of ecstasy, yet she wasn’t sure she could finish. Her nervousness increased as she felt her body tightening, her orgasm quickly approaching as she hesitantly met Azriel’s gaze. He kissed her deeply, calming some of her fears while he continued helping her rock her aching core into his thigh. She clung to him, needing him more than ever.
"It's all right, Sweetheart," he reassured her, sensing her anxiety. He knew her better than anyone, a fact that she was more grateful than ever for. He gripped her thighs, pulling her tighter against him while she bucked her hips. "You can let go. It’s okay."
"I...I don’t…I don’t know if I can,” she tumbled out, desperation filling her. She was so close, so impossibly close. He increased the pace of her thrusts, guiding her to ride him faster. “Az, please. I…I…I need help. Please. I’m scared. Please.”
"It's okay," he said, steadily rocking her hips against his leg and softly kissing her cheeks, giving her the encouragement she needed. "It's okay. I’m right here, honey. I’m right here. Just let go.”
She watched as he slowly reached one hand between them, the other still helping guide her. He glided his hand along the top of her soaked panties until he reached the spot just above her clit, then he began steadily rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves through the fabric, her wetness seeping through the thin cloth.
She gasped and bucked her hips, grinding wildly, shocked by the added pleasure point.
“Is this okay, Sweetheart?” He questioned, not yet increasing the pressure of his fingers yet. She frantically nodded, desperately trying to press her clit more firmly into his hand as she thrust her hips into his palm. “I need you to say it, honey. Try to talk to me, Gwyn”
“Yes,” she gasped, gripping his shoulders, her inner walls once again clenching around nothing. Every inch of her was overly sensitive, each tiny movement of his fingers like a bolt of lightning straight to her center. “More, please. Oh gods, Azriel. Please. I’m so close. I’m so close, Az.”
"That's it, Sweetheart," he breathed in her ear, verbally helping her along. "You're doing so well. You're doing so fucking well. Just look at how hard I am, Bird. It's all because of you."
She had never expected such simple praises to make her even more aroused, but his words sent her grinding erratically, all control slipping. He kept rubbing circles on her throbbing clit, nibbling at her neck with his mouth. Her moans grew louder, filling the room with her sounds of ecstasy, her fingertips digging into the skin on his back.
Pressure built in her center, heat and need and pleasure all rising until it neared a crescendo. As he continued coaxing her toward the edge, his fingers working her clit while his mouth roamed her body, she suddenly shattered, her body finally falling over the edge into an intense climax.
Pleasure exploded through her, her head falling onto his shoulder as she cried out his name while her orgasm washed over her. Wave after wave of ecstasy coursed through her, his fingers rubbing her clit as he helped her ride out the climax. Her entire body shook with the force of her release, the pleasure unlike anything she had managed on her own.
As she stopped shaking, he gently pushed her hips into him a few more times, easing her through the final moments of pleasure. A contented happiness filled her, the pressure of his hand on her core a pleasant reminder of what had just happened. She had orgasmed. She had actually done it. She could cry from how happy she was.
As her body slowly relaxed, collapsing against him, he eased his hand out from between them to stroke her back, cradling her to his chest. When her breathing evened out, he gently pulled her head back to look at her. She couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes yet, too dazed and content to do anything except revel in his soft touch. His shadows softly caressed her face, her arms, her legs - reminding her that she was safe.
"Bird, talk to me," Azriel murmured, his voice oddly shaky. Â "Gwyn, please, I need you to talk to me."
She forced herself to open her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of contentment before responding. "I’m not sure I’m capable of speech right now.”
He let out a strangled laugh, relief coloring his features at her response. “That happens sometimes.”
The flush on her cheeks deepened as she studied him, the full realization of what they had done slowly sinking in. "I wasn't expecting that to happen," she shyly admitted, concern clouding her happiness. "Was that okay? I know it was probably strange. I -"
He cut her off with a thorough kiss, leisurely tasting her before calmly putting her mind at rest. "It was perfect. It wasn't strange at all. Your body reacted naturally to what you were experiencing."
"But...I didn't do anything for you,” she murmured, absently toying with his hair.
"I already told you, I wanted this to be about you. Besides, you did plenty,” he whispered in her ear, gently smoothing her hair down. “Having you climax in my arms was more than enough."
She finally gave him a broad smile, her shyness disappearing at his tender words. His fingers slid along her bare thigh, bringing another small sigh of satisfaction to her lips. She was utterly and completely content.
He pulled back to look at her face again, worry clouding his features. "Are you okay though?" He asked, seeming unsure of himself. "Did I take things too far? Did you...did you enjoy yourself?"
"It was perfect," she sighed, her eyes sparkling with delight as she leaned her forehead against his. "I enjoyed every second. You made me feel absolutely wonderful."
"Good,” he replied, his body relaxing into her again as he tucked his face into her neck. She leaned into him, lost in the pure happiness flooding her. She couldn’t believe this was real.
"Next time, how about we try it without these on," he quietly murmured, tugging the hem of her panties, for emphasis and drawing a giggle out of her. "Would that be okay?"
"Mmmm," she eagerly nodded, running her hands through his silky hair.  "That would very much be okay.”
He grinned, bringing his mouth to hers, then scooping her up into his arms. She let out a squeal, clinging to his shoulders while he carried her to bed. He pulled back the covers, then deposited her on the bed, letting his lips linger before pulling away. She smiled softly, her eyes darting to his throbbing erection, then back up to his face.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t…you know?” She asked, a flush coloring her cheeks again. She hated the idea that she had been utterly satiated and he was still…a bit needy. But still, she couldn’t help the touch of anxiety that hit her as she asked the question.
He shook his head, seeming to sense her nerves, as he always did. She silently thanked the gods, unsure she was ready to tackle that part of their relationship just yet. She wanted to touch him, to learn what made him feel good, but she needed to take baby steps first.
“I’m sure, Gwyneth. It’s okay,” he assured her, kissing her on the temple before backing away toward the bathing room. “I’ll take care of it. Close your eyes, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
She nodded, settling deeper under the covers while he disappeared into his bathing room. A small part of her wished he had stayed, even knowing what he was about to do. What was he like when he came? He had already been noisier than she had been expecting earlier. Would he be even more so when he actually climaxed? Or would he bite his lip, the way he sometimes did, to muffle the sound?
She closed her eyes, her imagination filling with thoughts of Azriel, a contented smile forming as she thought of everything they had done and everything they could do. There was still so much for her to learn, to explore, to experience. She wanted all of it with Azriel. Every kiss, every touch. All of it.
Gwyn was already half dozing in bed by the time Azriel emerged, her imagination running wild while she waited for him to join her. He quietly crawled beside her, smiling when she blinked her eyes open and curled into his side, draping her leg over his.
“Better?” She murmured, tenderly kissing his jaw. He leaned into her touch, wrapping his arms around her, an adorably happy grin plastered on his face.
“Much better,” he confirmed, kissing the top of her head. She let out a happy hum, burrowing deeper against him, her head tucked into his shoulder. He sighed happily, holding her tightly to him. She would gladly stay like this forever if he wanted. It felt like home being in his arms.
“Azriel?” She whispered, her voice soft as she slowly drifted off.
“Yes, Gwyn?”
“Tonight was perfect,” she quietly said, her lips grazing the skin on his shoulder. She felt him shift slightly, but her eyes were already closed, a happy smile still on her face. He settled next to her, stroking her back while she fell asleep against him.
He quietly hummed his agreement, sleep already claiming him. She fell silent, letting her body relax in his arms. Tonight had been perfect, even better than she could possibly have dreamed. She couldn’t wait to explore more with him, to slowly learn everything he could teach her. Tonight was only the beginning.
After helping Azriel relax, Gwyn finds herself restless and a little needy, which leads to a vivid dream.
Note: I have some very big life changes happening, which will impact my schedule a lot very soon. I will try to continue to upload consistently, but please be patient with me if I miss a week or so here and there. I will never abandon my stories, but my writing time will be very limited. I appreciate the support and the patience with my crazy schedule. <3
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Very steamy fluff.
Word Count: 4,168
Masterlist
Gwyn softly hummed a lullaby she had learned at Sangravah while Azriel quietly spoke, his voice becoming softer and softer with each passing moment. Despite her continued efforts to soothe him to sleep, she was riveted by the vivid scene he was painting her. He had never been this open with her about his fantasies, and now she desperately wanted more.
He paused for a moment and she worried he had fallen asleep, but then he continued, pulling her deeper into his fantasy. Her entire body was on fire, any drowsiness she had felt when she came to his room earlier was gone. She was completely alert.
“I’d keep kissing you, not quite pressing my body into yours until you moved first,” he murmured into her neck, his breath further heating her already burning skin. She resolutely kept humming, trying to focus on his steady heartbeat rather than his very hard cock pressing into her leg.
“I’d wait until you pressed into me before I rocked my hips. Then I’d grind against you, bringing you close to the edge, but not quite sending you over. You would beg me for more, and I would give it to you. I’d sink my fingers into you, fucking you with them until you were coming undone. Then, after you were fully satisfied and ready for me, I would…”
Her eyes, which had been closed while she lost herself in his words, shot open. She forced herself to keep humming, praying he would keep talking. But he had gone utterly still. She carefully adjusted so she could sneak a peak at his face - and he was asleep. He had fallen asleep right in the middle of his sentence.
She fell back into the pillows with a breathless huff, her mind in a frenzy from the images he had put in her head. She was glad he was getting sleep, but now she was the restless one.
She had come to his room tonight with the sole purpose of helping him rest. He had been working far too much and neglecting his own needs, so she had simply wanted to help him relax. But she hadn’t been prepared for him to be quite so…loose lipped and…frisky when he was this tired.
Granted, part of it was her own fault. She probably shouldn't have encouraged him to unbutton her nightgown or asked him the questions she had asked, but there was something about seeing how much he wanted her that always made her anxiety and any reservations she had disappear. And he was always so thorough with whatever he did, making sure she was comfortable and then making her burn with need.
Between what he had done with his hands and mouth and the images he had painted in her mind, she felt like she was on fire. Warmth had pooled between her legs, making it even more difficult to avoid thinking about his hard body pressing against her. And now she was practically trapped beneath him. He had one wing spread across her, his arm holding her waist firmly, and his head was still tucked into her shoulder, his chest pressing into her side with every breath he took.
It felt nice - more than nice - but it was also making her more than a little aroused. In the past few weeks, she had steadily become more confident exploring things with him. And now…she wanted more. She wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but she knew she wanted him.
But knowing she wanted him did nothing to help her now, not when he was asleep next to her. Her body was aching, the steady pulse between her legs making her want to feel him everywhere. She felt like she was drowning in need, but she knew she needed to sleep. Lying awake and thinking about what he had said would just make things worse.
Perhaps she could use his method and simply distract herself to sleep. It couldn’t hurt. Besides, she needed to try something to fall asleep. If she ever wanted to explore more with Azriel, she needed rest just as much as he did. Tonight had once again proven that he would never take things further when either of them were drowsy or remotely incoherent.
She settled herself into the pillows, closing her eyes and absently stroking Azriel’s back while he slept. She let herself drift into memories, conjuring up images from that night he had taken her to the lake in the mountains. That seemed like a safe enough memory. Yes, she had been extremely excited to be so close to Azriel, but it was a soothing memory. One she liked to revisit often.
He had been so vulnerable with her, opening up about his past despite how much it clearly pained him. She remembered how much she had wanted to comfort him, to shield him from the pain his own memories caused. When she had convinced him to cuddle on the dock, they had stayed there for what seemed like hours, quietly holding each other and occasionally kissing.
She smiled to herself, remembering how she had asked him a very similar question then as she had tonight, only his response had been so much different. So vulnerable, but in a different way than the fantasy he had confessed to her tonight.
Her mind wandered, her body relaxing as she sunk into the memory, her body growing heavier as she drifted off into a deep slumber. But sometime before sleep claimed her, images from Azriel’s fantasy began to intertwine with her memories from the lake, creating an entirely new vision for her to dream of…
***************************
Gwyn clung to Azriel while they floated in the lake, the cold water contrasting with the heat of his skin against hers. She stared into his eyes, her body aching with curiosity and need. He had been so vulnerable with her, now she wanted to be vulnerable with him.
She thought for a moment about what she might ask him next. She was sure there was something she hadn’t yet covered, but she was hopelessly distracted by the way his body was pressing into hers, every inch of his skin like a brand against her. She could feel him everywhere, even against her sensitive nipples. She wanted him. That was all she could think of.
And maybe that was the question. Did he want her as much as she wanted him? She leaned her head down until her lips were just barely grazing the shell of his ear, earning a tight squeeze of his arms around her. She smiled, her heart racing with nervousness, but she felt no fear. Only that unrelenting curiosity and need.
“Azriel, if you could have anything right now, what would it be?” She whispered in his ear, so quietly she almost wasn’t sure he had heard her. But then he pulled back, studying her face. She watched him patiently, hoping he would take the lead once he understood what she was offering.
“What do you mean?” He asked, one eyebrow raising in question.
She held his gaze, fiery determination filling her. She wanted this. Wanted him. “What do you want most? Right now. In this moment.”
“You,” he instantly responded, not even a second of hesitation. “I only want you.”
She smiled, brushing the hair off his forehead. “Then have me.”
He gave her a devilish grin, grazing her jaw with the tip of his nose. She shivered, her fingertips digging into his scalp.
“Azriel, take me back to the dock,” she instructed, any hint of anxiety leaving her. His head shot up, confusion on his face. But she only smiled, waiting for him to obey her command. He did as she asked, slowly propelling them back to the dock and setting her on the edge. She moved backward, holding out her hand to bring him with her. He obeyed without question, brow furrowed as he waited for her to say more.
When he was kneeling in front of her, both of them still almost naked, she leaned up to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling her down to the dock with her. He obediently followed, bracing himself above her with one arm next to her head, his large body half on top of her. He looked at her questioningly, waiting.
“Az, I’m yours,” she reminded him, burying her hands in his thick hair. “Take me.”
“Are you sure?” He pressed, searching her face.
“Yes,” she said simply, the aching between her legs growing. She wanted this, wanted him.
“Okay,” he nodded, slowly dropping his head down and claiming her mouth with his own.
It began slowly, his lips gliding easily with hers, lazily teasing her. Then his tongue came out, urging her mouth open for him. She immediately complied, letting him ravish her mouth with his tongue, exploring every inch of her. She hungrily kissed him back, pulling him down tighter against her, moaning into his mouth to urge him on.
His free hand came around her hip, sliding down and abruptly lifting her leg, wrapping it around his waist. She gasped into him, his covered length pressing into the fabric of her panties, no doubt feeling the evidence of how aroused she was. He broke the kiss, leaving her gasping and breathless while he trailed hot kisses down her jaw, his tongue darting out and teasing her skin.
She was lost in him, desperate for more friction as he took his own sweet time exploring her. She let out a cry of pleasure when his hand came up to her breast, squeezing the aching mound before taking her peaked nipple between his thumb and forefinger and gently rolling it. Her back arched, her hands clawing at his back. He groaned softly, his lips getting closer and closer to her other breast, then finally making it to her other nipple.
“Azriel!” She gasped, writhing beneath him as he sucked and nipped at her aching breasts, drawing her nipple into his mouth with a slight tug. “More, please. More!”
He chuckled against her, pulling back and sitting on his heels, leaving her aching from the loss of his touch. She panted, trying to catch her breath while she watched him move down her body. He gently ran his hands down her thighs, then slowly eased her legs farther apart, gliding his fingers back up until they hooked into the edge of her panties.
“Are you sure?” He asked again, he voice low and rough. She tried to clamp her thighs together, seeking the friction he had just denied her, but he held her legs open, his fingers poised on her panties.
“Yes,” she gasped out, her body trembling as she anticipated what he would do next. She propped herself on her elbows, impatiently pushing her hips toward him. “Please, Azriel. I want this. Please.”
He gave her a crooked grin, softly chuckling. “So eager.”
With that, his fingers finally moved, dragging her panties down her legs inch by inch, his hands moving at a leisurely pace. His eyes never left hers while he undressed her, his gaze locking her in place while she watched him strip her bare. When she was finally completely naked before him, his eyes dipped between her legs, still spread for him, hungrily taking her in.
A blush flooded her skin, a small bit of anxiety mixing with her arousal as he looked at her. It was like his eyes were devouring her, taking in every inch of her bare body, darting between her face and her soaked core. He seemed to sense her anxiety as he met her eyes again. His brow furrowed, a smile teasing his lips.
“You are so fucking gorgeous, Gwyn,” he quietly rumbled, leaning down to kiss her deeply, his lips lingering on hers for a long moment. She tried to bring him down for more, but he pulled back again, gently pushing her onto her back. “Lie down, Bird. Let me touch you. Please.”
She nodded, obediently settling on her back while he knelt between her legs. His hands roamed up her thighs, tenderly caressing the scars that marred her skin, and then his mouth followed, bringing a moan to her lips. He marked a trail up her body, his lips following the path that his hands were making. When his hands, followed by his tongue, began teasing her breasts, her hips bucked into him.
He gently pushed her back down with one hand, holding her hip in his large hands. She mewled, desperate to feel him closer. Before she could protest more, he granted her the touch she was aching for. Still peppering her jaw and neck with kisses, his free hand drifted between her thighs, gently cupping her. She gasped, hips bucking into his palm, her nails digging into his back.
He chuckled against her throat. “Does that feel good?”
“Yes. More. Please,” she gasped out, trying to bring her aching core closer to him. He kept his hold on her hip, denying her more friction, but only for a moment. He sat back on his heels again, hand still cupping her naked center, his eyes devouring her. She trembled beneath him, flushed with need. His lips curled into a satisfied smirk, then he slowly removed his hand before dragging one long finger through her wet folds.
Her back arched, a cry escaping her as his finger circled her clit. She whimpered when he pulled back, watching him drag his finger away from her core, now glistening with her wetness. She blushed deeply, slightly embarrassed by how wet she had become. But it quickly faded when he brought his finger to his mouth and sucked it clean, pleasure written all over his face.
Before she could fully process how sexy she found what he had just done, his hands were on her again, one hand holding her down while the other began playing with her clit. He circled it maddeningly, drawing small whimpers and moans from her. He leaned back down, taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking deeply, at the same time, dragging one finger through her folds and pressing gently against her soaked entrance.
He released her nipple, his finger still stroking back and forth around her entrance as he brought his face up to hers. He kissed along her jaw, finally pausing right by her ear, his breath sending shivers down her spine.
“Are you ready, Bird?” He drawled. She whimpered, desperate for him to sink his fingers into her, but he kept her hips pushed down, waiting for her response. “I need you to say it, love.”
She couldn’t form words, not with the sensations he was drawing from her. She needed more. Needed him to make her cum. She wanted this, wanted to give herself to him fully. His finger dragged back through her folds, circling her clit once more, stroking her until she was practically writhing with pleasure.
“Gwyn, I need you to tell me what you want,” he pressed, never once stopping the delicious motions of his hand. She was coming undone, every second bringing her closer to an orgasm and he hadn’t even gotten inside her yet. “I need you to say it. Please, Bird.”
She whimpered again, clinging to him as he worked her closer to the edge. “Please. I’m ready. Please,” she finally managed to breathe out, her voice pleading. He slowly moved back, kneeling in front of her, his fingers dragging slowly down to her entrance again. He pressed lightly against her, the tip of his finger entering her, his eyes watching her carefully, and then…
***********************************************
“Gwyn, honey, wake up,” Azriel’s frantic voice cut through Gwyn’s dream, dragging her away from the blissful release she had been so close to. “Bird, please wake up. Come back to me. It’s just a dream. Please wake up, honey.”
She slowly blinked her eyes open, her body warm and achy. She found Azriel hovering above her, the room still shrouded in darkness, his shadows swirling above them in what seemed to be a worried stance, almost as if they thought something was wrong. But how could anything be wrong? She had just been having the most wonderful dream possible.
“Gwyn, are you okay?” Azriel asked when she continued blinking dazedly at him, not fully understanding what was happening. “You were thrashing and making sounds and…”
He trailed off, nostrils flaring as his eyes dipped down to where her nightgown had bunched around her upper thighs, the edge of her panties peaking out. His jaw slowly sagged, understanding dawning on his handsome features even while she struggled to bring her mind back to the present.
“I…I’m so sorry, Bird. I shouldn’t have woken you up,” he said slowly, meeting her gaze again. The oddly careful tone of his voice finally brought her back to the present, the reality of what she had just been dreaming about slamming into her. Oh gods. Oh no.
She shot up, almost knocking him over in her haste to escape. Oh gods. She had been dreaming about him and now he knew. She knew he knew. She could feel the warmth pooling between her legs, which meant her scent was undoubtedly thick with arousal. Her cheeks turned crimson as she desperately flung off the blankets, ignoring Azriel’s protests.
She threw her legs off the bed, unsure where she was going but wanting to escape regardless. This was so embarrassing. She had never had a dream that vivid. She wasn’t totally innocent. She had thought about him in compromising positions before, but it had never turned into a dream that had effected her that much. Not enough for her arousal in her dream to seep into the real world. Gods, she couldn’t get away fast enough.
She stumbled off the bed, blindly trying to escape Azriel. Before she could get farther than a few steps toward the bathing room, two strong arms clamped around her body, trapping her arms against her side and holding her in place. She froze, snapping her eyes shut, her breathing unsteady.
“Gwyn, stop, please. I’m so sorry,” Azriel said, pulling her tightly against his chest. She kept her eyes closed, an anxious sob working its way up her throat. “It’s okay, honey. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up. I was just worried. I didn’t realize.”
Her mouth opened to reply, to make some excuse, but only a soft sob escaped. She was so embarrassed, shame filling every inch of her body. She felt him sigh behind her, then gently haul her back to the bed, pulling her onto his lap when he sat on the edge. He cupped her face with one hand, holding her firmly in the other.
“Gwyn, it’s okay. It’s okay, honey. Don’t cry, please. I hate seeing you upset like this,” he consoled her, stroking her face softly even while she tried to turn away from him. “You did nothing wrong. I swear. Please, Gwyn. Please just talk to me. It’s okay.”
“I’m just so embarrassed. I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, her voice shaking uncontrollably. He pulled her closer, tucking his face into her neck, a soft sigh caressing her skin.
“Gwyn, honey, I adore you, but what do I need to do to convince you that you don’t need to be embarrassed about anything with me?” He quietly replied, exasperation clear in his tone. “Nothing you say or do could ever make me think less of you. Ever.”
“It’s just…I didn’t mean to have a dream like that,” she whimpered, clinging to his arm. “That’s never happened before.”
He breathed deeply for a long moment, then tilted his face up to look at her. “It’s okay, Gwyn. I know you’re not used to this, but it’s normal. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed every time something like this happens, or every time we try something new.”
She took several deep breaths, slowly steadying herself, his heartbeat a calming rhythm behind her. She felt so silly. He was so experienced, which didn’t bother her, but she felt so naïve sometimes. She wasn’t used to being so open with what she wanted, let alone acting on any of it.
“Az, I know you won’t judge me, but…” she trailed off, unable to admit her fears. He softly kissed her neck, patiently waiting for her to go on. “I…I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. I…I want to be sexy and desirable, but I just feel silly.”
Her voice was barely a whisper, the truth of her confession drenching her in more embarrassment. She was so proud of how far she had come, of how much she had been able to share with Azriel, but there was still that nagging fear. The dreadful thought that he would never find her as desirable as she found him.
“Gwyneth,” he groaned into her neck, suddenly lifting her and depositing her on the bed. She let out a small gasp, but before she could fully process what was happening, he was straddling her, his palms coming down on either side of her head. She opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly silenced by the look on his face.
His eyes were brimming with determination and, if she wasn’t mistaken, anger. Yet, despite his obvious frustration, he remained unwaveringly patient, one hand coming up to tenderly cup her face. She watched him, unsure of what do next. This was the first time she had ever had a male straddle her like this. She had expected to feel some trepidation but, instead, she was growing increasingly distracted by the slowly hardening bulge pressing against her lower stomach.
She gulped, holding Azriel’s fierce gaze as he broke the silence. “Gwyneth, I know this is new to you, but I need you to understand how absolutely, devastatingly gorgeous I think you are,” he began, his words deliberate and steady. “Every time I look at you, I am blown away by how lucky I am to have you by my side. There is not a single thing about you that doesn’t drive me crazy in the best way possible.”
She slowly nodded, her throat tight with emotion. He brushed his thumb across her lips, seeming to measure his next words, then went on, his tone soft.
“Gwyn, honey, you don’t even have to touch me, and I get turned on,” he admitted with a breathless laugh, earning him a soft smile in return. He paused for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. “Do you want to know what my first thought was when I realized what kind of dream you were having?”
She timidly nodded. “Yes, please.”
He softly chuckled. “I wanted to know the details,” he confessed, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I wanted to know all the wicked things that were going through that gorgeous head of yours.”
“Really?” She gaped, taken aback by his blunt honesty. “You didn’t find it strange, or awkward that I was…that I was dreaming about you?”
“No, not for a single second,” he consoled her, his steady reassurances slowly easing the anxiety and embarrassment she felt. “Bird, knowing you were dreaming about me only made me more curious about what was going through your head. I want you. Please believe that.”
“I’ll try, but…I can’t promise I won’t have moments where I get nervous, or scared,” she replied, avoiding his gaze for a moment until he gently brought her face back to his, his fingers lightly holding her chin.
“That’s all right, honey,” he soothed her, brushing her hair back. “When that happens, we’ll work through it together. Just like we are right now. Okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed, giving him a soft small. He leaned down to brush a kiss against her lips, then rolled off her, pulling her onto his chest as he fell on his back. She let out a giggle, burrowing her face into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her. “Az, if you want me to, I can tell you about my dream.”
He let out a laugh that was more of a groan, his lips ghosting across her temple. “I would love that, Bird, but can you tell me later? I’m not sure I would be able to resist acting out your dream right now.”
She blushed, but nodded against him. “I can tell you later.”
“Thank you, Bird,” he quietly murmured, his slow breathing lulling her back to sleep. “Gwyn, I’m excited for our date.”
She grinned into his shoulder, anticipation for their date bubbling up even as her body drifted back to sleep. “Me too, Az.”
She had no idea what would happen, only that she was going to let herself fully enjoy being with him. She was determined not to let her fears hold her back. She was ready for more, whatever that meant.
Azriel and Gwyn get cozy during a spooky movie night with their friends.
Note: This was inspired by a prompt from the lovely @imsointobooks. I tweaked it a little to fit the current season, but I hope you enjoy it.
Also, sorry for the delay on the update for A Song of Shadows. There will be a new chapter this week, last week just got crazy.Â
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Pure fluff
Word Count: 1,953
Masterlist
Azriel quietly settled into the large recliner in the corner of Nesta and Cassian’s living room, watching the rest of the group scattering around in preparation for their movie night. A small smile formed when he saw Gwyn appear from the hallway with a bag of chocolates, her brightly colored “Friends” themed pajamas contrasting adorably with the Halloween setting Nesta had created.
It was a few weeks before Halloween, and Nesta had insisted everyone come over to the house for a scary movie night. Which meant Azriel, Cassian, Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were all hanging out in the living room, getting ready to watch the movie Nesta had selected, snacks and blankets strewn haphazardly across the room.
Azriel had been quiet most of the night, his eyes following the teal-eyed librarian as she laughed and chatted with their friends. Cassian kept nudging him with a knowing look, and Mor kept sending him increasingly more demanding texts asking if he had made a move yet. But he hadn’t, just like he hadn’t made a move for weeks. Gwyn was his friend, and he refused to risk that friendship, even if he did have feelings for her.
“Cassian, can you get the movie started?” Nesta called, setting a bowl of popcorn next to Azriel before sitting cross-legged on the sofa. Cassian immediately followed her orders, heading for the TV while Emerie sat next to Nesta, their positions identical.
“Does this have to be a scary movie?” Gwyn asked from her spot in the middle of the room. She had draped a large, blue blanket over her shoulders, making her look even more adorable than before. “You know I hate jump scares.”
“It’s Halloween, Gwyn,” Emerie reminded her, pulling a blanket over her and Nesta’s laps. “Scary movies are practically required this time of year.”
“Fine, but if I can’t sleep tonight, I’m blaming you,” Gwyn teased, picking up her bag of chocolates and striding toward Azriel with a scowl. He held back a laugh, averting his gaze as Cassian sat in front of the sofa in front of Nesta and Emerie.
“Can I sit with you?” Gwyn asked Azriel, taking him by surprise. He blinked, meeting her expectant stare and trying not to look as shocked as he felt. “The recliner is big enough for two.”
“Oh, I…of course,” Azriel stumbled in response, scooting over to give her space. She crawled next to him, throwing her blanket over them both and setting her bag of chocolates in her lap. He hesitantly relaxed next to her, letting his shoulder bump with hers.
“Oh come on, Gwyn! Are you really not going to sit with us?” Nesta gaped, Emerie laughing quietly next to her. “Are we not good enough for you anymore?”
“The last time I sat next to you during a scary movie, you kept throwing popcorn at me right before the scariest bits,” Gwyn shot back, her chin raised defiantly as she snuggled deeper against Azriel. He bit back a sigh of satisfaction, grabbing a piece of chocolate to keep himself distracted from the warmth spreading through his body.
“That was one time,” Emerie protested, tossing a pillow in Azriel and Gwyn’s direction. Azriel caught it before it landed, easily deflecting it to the ground. “And it wasn’t even a scary movie. It was just Halloweentown.”
“Leave them alone,” Cassian chided, leaning back against the couch as Nesta gently started playing with his hair. “Azriel might get lonely without Gwyn to cuddle with him.”
Nesta and Emerie burst into laughter as Azriel turned bright red. He dared a glance at Gwyn, but she was staring resolutely at her chocolates, sifting through them despite the tinge of pink creeping up her neck. He wanted to let his lips follow the path of her blush, but he held back, determined to keep things friendly.
Cassian started the movie a moment later, Nesta having decided earlier that they were going to watch the “Fear Street” films. Azriel had already seen them, so he was able to devote most of his attention to the girl currently pressing herself into his side. As the movie continued, Gwyn got closer and closer until he had to put one arm around her shoulder just to give them both room to breathe. But she just snuggled deeper into his chest, occasionally offering him chocolates and commenting on the film.
He was vaguely aware of Nesta and Emerie casually braiding Cassian’s hair, the three of them laughing and joking about various things in the film. It was just like any other movie night they had had, except this time, he had Gwyn in his arms. And he wasn’t entirely sure if he was dreaming or not.
“Do you want a kiss?” Gwyn suddenly asked, her question catching him so off guard that all he could do was gape at her. She blushed, holding up a chocolate kiss in explanation. His traitorous heart sank, but he excepted the chocolate anyway. But a moment later, right before he popped the treat in his mouth, words slipped out.
“Is this the only type of kiss on the menu, Berdara?” He asked without thinking, a blush of his own warming his cheeks. Her eyes dipped to his lips, sending a flood of heat and anticipation through him. She wasn’t flirting, was she?
“You’ll have to wait and see,” she replied, chewing on a chocolate thoughtfully before continuing. “Kisses are best enjoyed in private.”
Azriel nearly choked on the chocolate in his mouth, Gwyn’s comment sending his brain into overdrive. Gwyn seemed not to notice him floundering for a reply, or if she did, she didn’t seem bothered by it. She simply nestled her head into his chest, occasionally using his hoodie to shield herself from the movie.
Cassian kept smirking in their direction, then quietly commenting to Nesta and Emerie. Azriel knew they were probably talking about Gwyn and him, but he couldn’t care less. He had the girl he had been crushing on for months, who just happened to be his best friend, wrapped in his arms. There was nothing that could make his night any better.
An hour later, as the movie was reaching its end, Azriel realized how wrong he was. His night could get better and it had. Gwyn was now asleep in his arms, clinging to him as her soft breathing calmed his racing heart. It was like a dream. He had been close to Gwyn for so long, but they had never been in a position like this. To know she felt safe enough with him to be so vulnerable made his heart ache with happiness.
He completely missed the end of the film, only paying attention to the rest of the group when they began chattering loudly and discussing their favorite parts. He chucked the pillow Emerie had thrown earlier back in their direction, nailing Cassian in the back of the head.
“Awww, did Gwyn fall asleep?” Nesta whispered, a massive grin on her face while Cassian flipped him off behind her. Emerie quickly looked at where Nesta was staring, her eyes lighting up with glee as she saw Azriel and Gwyn.
“Yes, and you’re going to wake her up if you keep talking so loudly,” Azriel furiously whispered, pulling Gwyn’s blanket farther up her sleeping body.
“We understand,” Cassian said seriously, his face unreadable but his eyes sparkling with mirth. “You wouldn’t want Gwyn to stop sleeping on top of you, we get it.”
“Oh fuck you,” Azriel threw at his friends, trying and failing to hide the happy smile that was spreading across his face. Cassian was right. Azriel would rather never move again than risk waking Gwyn up.
Nesta giggled quietly, hugging Emerie as the latter prepared to leave. “You don’t have to be so rude, Az,” Nesta noted, smiling fondly at Gwyn. “We won’t wake her up, I promise.”
“Yes, but I am taking a photo to show Mor,” Emerie added, taking advantage of Azriel’s prone position to snap a photo of Gwyn and him. He groaned but didn’t comment. “By the way, Az, you should listen to Mor. She’s right.”
Azriel didn’t ask Emerie to explain; he already knew what she was talking about. Between Mor, Cassian, and Rhys, he had had no shortage of people telling him to ask Gwyn out. Maybe he might have to finally heed their advice.
“Anyway, I have to go take care of my sick girlfriend. I’ll see you all later,” Emerie said, waving goodbye before dashing out the door.
“Are you staying the night, Az?” Cassian asked, pulling Nesta into his arms. Azriel nodded, settling back against the cushions. “Okay, you know where everything’s at. Good night.”
With that Cassian disappeared upstairs, Nesta following a moment later after smiling at Azriel and Gwyn and turning off the lights. Left in the darkness, Azriel let his mind wander, a certain freckled face smiling at him in his dreams as he fell asleep with her in his arms.
A few hours later, Azriel woke in the darkness to the feeling of movement against him. He opened his eyes to find Gwyn blinking blurrily at him, her hair mussed adorably. He blinked, quickly grabbing his phone to find out what time it was. It was almost 3 a.m.
“Did I fall asleep?” Gwyn murmured, one of her legs shifting until it was draped over his. He nodded in answer, still too tired to fully process the situation. “You could have woken me up.”
“I know, but you were comfortable. I didn’t want to make you move,” he conceded, running a hand through his hair. She smiled, rubbing her eyes and looking around before turning back to him again.
“I suppose I should move,” she suggested, her eyes searching his face. A moment later, she added. “But I don’t really want to sleep alone after that movie.”
He blinked, unsure if he was reading her correctly her but plowing forward anyway. “You could stay here if you wanted. I don’t mind.”
She beamed at him. “Okay,” she said simply, nestling back into his chest. He tried to steady his racing heart, but he was suddenly very aware of every inch where her body touched his. A few minutes later, just as he thought she might have fallen asleep again, she popped her head up again to look at him.
“Yes?” He asked when she simply tilted her head and stared at him. She smiled, her eyes sparkling in the darkness.
“We’re alone,” she noted, her gaze dropping to his lips again. Before he could ask her what she meant, her head dipped, her lips softly claiming his in a gentle kiss.
He hesitantly pulled her closer, returning the kiss as he tenderly cupped her face with one hand, holding her close with the other. The kiss only lasted a few short moments, but it was long enough to make Azriel almost dizzy with joy. Gwyn was kissing him. He was kissing Gwyn. He had never felt so overwhelmed with happiness in his life.
Gwyn pulled away a second later, a small smile on her lips as he watched her in awe. As she nestled against him, he let the grin he had been holding back all night spread across his face.
“Good night, Azriel,” she murmured, her hands wrapping around him until they were both tightly holding each other. He closed his eyes, letting his cheek rest against her head.
“Good night, Gwyn” he whispered, letting himself drift off with her. He knew, in the morning when he woke up, he was finally going to take his friends advice. And he had a feeling tomorrow would be even sweeter than tonight had been.
After a late night of working, Azriel is restless and exhausted, which leads to an interesting conversation with Gwyn.
Note: This is a new style of chapter that I will be doing. Part 2 will pick up right where part 1 left off and be from Gwyn’s pov. In the future, these types of scenes will start with one pov, and end with the other person’s pov. Enjoy!
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Steamy fluff.
Word Count: 5,709
Masterlist
Azriel ran a frustrated hand through his hair, irredeemably mussing his already messy locks as he flipped through yet another stack of reports from his spies. They hadn’t found anything new. At least, nothing new that would help him figure out what he was missing. And he knew he was missing something.
He sipped his wine, ignoring the incessant nagging from his shadows to go to bed. He would sleep later, once he figured this out. Until then, he had work to do. It’s almost midnight, his shadows pressed, pulling the covers back on the bed to try and entice him. He simply turned back to his papers, ignoring them.
He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, settling back in his chair as he set his glass of wine back on the desk, preparing to read through more reports. He needed to figure this out, whatever it was. There had to be something in these damn reports.
Besides, he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest anyway. Gwyn had opted to sleep in the priestess dorms tonight, something that was becoming increasingly rare. She had been spending more and more time in his room, but tonight, she had said she would sleep in the dorms, insisting she would be a distraction while he worked. And while she might have been right, that didn’t change the fact that he slept better with her here.
He smiled sadly at the portrait of Gwyn on his desk, which Gwyn had somehow not noticed yet, and shook away the thought of sleeping in his large bed alone. He refocused on the report in his hand, noting anything he thought might be useful and cataloging the rest. Without realizing it, almost another hour had passed, the clock approaching 1 a.m. while he continued working.
The quiet padding of footsteps just outside his door snapped his attention away from the reports, his focus turning to the door just as it slowly swung open. He knew in an instant who it was; only one person would enter his room this late without his shadows warning him.
“Gwyneth, you can come in,” he drawled, setting his papers down with a smile. A small gasp came from behind the door, then a curtain of silky, reddish-brown hair appeared, followed by the freckled face of his favorite priestess.
“Hi,” she shyly smiled, slowly walking in and closing the door behind her. She held on to the knob, her back toward the door as she faced him. He gave her a crooked grin, hungrily taking in the sight of her clad in nothing but a loose nightgown. The moonlight streaming in from his windows illuminated her, shining through the thin fabric and highlighting her lean figure.
“Hi,” he replied, a devilish glint in his eyes as they roamed her body. Ever since their little experiment in the woods the other night, he had wanted nothing more than to continue what they had started. They just hadn’t had time. It was infuriating, and it was ruining his self-control and his sanity.
“Am I interrupting anything?” She asked, making her way to his desk. He shook his head, pulling her onto his lap when she got close enough. She snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I wanted to check on you. I had a feeling you might still be working. You need sleep, Az.”
His lips spread into a thin line, his brow furrowing. “I know, but I’m missing something and it’s driving me crazy. I feel like it’s right under my nose.”
She ran her hands through his hair, her capable fingers stroking him softly before coming to rest at the nape of his neck. “Azriel, you still need rest,” she said sternly, placing the whisper of a kiss to his temple. “You’re not invincible. Depriving yourself of sleep won’t help you figure this out.”
“I know, you’re right,” he grudgingly sighed, toying with the thin strap of her nightgown. “I promise I’ll try to rest more. Now that you’re here though, are you going to stay? You don’t have to, but…I’d like it if you did.”
“I was planning to stay, if you’re okay with it,” she agreed, staring inquisitively at his eyes, her head tilting thoughtfully. “I didn’t know you wear glasses.”
He blanched, remembering the simple black frames that adorned his face. “Yes, I wear them for reading sometimes,” he admitted, averting his gaze and reaching to remove his glasses. A soft hand stopped him, bringing his attention back to her.
“I like them,” she murmured, brushing her fingers along the edge of his frames. “You look cute.”
“Thank you,” he breathlessly replied, heat rising to his cheeks. He had always been a little self-conscious of them, but knowing Gwyn liked him in glasses thrilled him. “Maybe I’ll wear them more often.”
She hummed her satisfaction, toying with the buttons of his shirt. He watched her for a moment, distracted by the way her nightgown was riding up her leg, steadily creeping up her thigh as she shifted in his lap. His heart rate quickened, his cock hardening as he imagined slipping his fingers under that nightgown and finding out what she was wearing underneath. He shook his head, trying to focus on the present again.
“Gwyn, why don’t you go to bed? I’ll join you as soon as I’ve finished this stack of reports,” he promised, his voice rougher than he had intended. He needed a distraction from her soft body before he got into bed with her.
She let out an exasperated sigh but didn’t respond immediately. He could tell she wanted to say something but was holding back, so he waited, watching her turn her attention back to his shirt. She slowly ran her fingers along the edge of the line of buttons, trailing down in the direction of his obvious erection, and then back up to his collar.
She paused, tugging lightly on the button near the top of his shirt, slowly teasing it until it popped open, revealing a sliver of his chest. He sucked in a breath, not entirely sure why he was so aroused by her simply undoing his buttons, but extremely turned on regardless. She did the same thing to the next button, then the next, all the way down until his shirt fell open.
He completely forgot about his reports; his attention utterly focused on Gwyn. He was so fucking hard and all she had done was unbutton his shirt. Was he losing his mind? He had never been this aroused by a female undressing him, but watching Gwyn slowly ease his shirt open was quite possibly one of the sexiest things he had ever witnessed. He was entirely at her mercy.
Her fingers moved toward his abdomen, slowly - too slowly - making contact with his burning skin. His breathing was uneven as she dragged her hand up, gliding softly across his torso, exploring the network of muscles and scars across his body. When her hand finally made it to his collarbone, she leaned down, her lips tracing the line of his jaw until she reached his ear, her breath tickling his skin.
“Come to bed, Azriel,” she firmly commanded, her voice leaving no room for question. Little did she know, there was no need for the firm note in her voice; what she was doing to him was already enough to get him in that bed. There was no way in hell he was going to argue now.
“Okay,” he replied simply, letting her pull out of his arms to stand. He quickly took his glasses off, then followed her, heading toward the door while she went toward the bed. “I’m going to run down the hall to the other bathing room to clean up. I’ll be right back.”
She turned, frowning, and tilted her head to look at him. “Azriel, use your bathing room. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, it doesn’t bother me,” she promised, walking to the bed while she spoke. “I know you use the other one to make me feel comfortable, but you don’t need to. Use the one in here.”
He blinked, his mind not reacting fast enough to stop the dumbfounded look that reached his face. Gwyn laughed, crawling under the covers and shooing him toward the bathing room. His body carried him without question, his mind still on her as he readied himself for bed, quickly washing up and stripping down to his undershorts. A moment later, he was striding back into the bedroom, easing his large body onto the bed next to Gwyn, his wings spread out behind him.
He propped himself on one elbow next to her, lightly placing his hand on her waist while she looked up at him, a sweet smile gracing those perfect lips. He couldn’t help himself, not between the exhaustion he felt and the aching in his undershorts weakening his self-control, so he leaned in for a kiss, groaning softly when she instantly opened for him. He fell into her, careful not to crush her but pressing her back into the pillows to fully claim her mouth.
She pulled away first, gasping while he trailed open mouthed kisses down her jaw, making his way to her collarbone before collapsing onto her chest. His head fell between her breasts, his eyes closing while he fisted her nightgown, chest heaving as he tried ignoring his aching cock. He was so damn tired, but he wanted her so fucking badly. It was all he could think of, and it was driving him mad.
“Azriel, are you okay?” She finally asked, stroking his hair softly. He opened his eyes and looked up to find her face flushed his favorite shade of pink. He propped himself on his elbow again, absently toying with the small row of buttons on the front of her nightgown that started at the top of her breasts and led down to just below her sternum.
“Yes, I’m just tired,” he mumbled, twisting the small, round buttons in his fingers to distract himself. She watched him quietly, seeming unaware of how much he was fighting his dwindling restraint. “Gwyn, I’ve been thinking about something.”
“Yes?”
He kept his eyes on the buttons, willing himself not to let any disappointment show if she said no to his request. He had been thinking about this for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to rush her. But exhaustion often turned him loose lipped around those he was comfortable with, and he was more than comfortable with Gwyn, so the words tumbled out.
“I was thinking that, if you wanted, you could start leaving a few things in my room. You’ve been spending so much time in here that I thought it might make things easier. So you don’t have to rush down to the library all the time.”
His voice had grown smaller with each word, fear trickling in as his fingers resolutely played with those damn buttons. She was silent for a long minute, each second echoing in his chest. Finally, just as he opened his mouth to apologize for pushing her, she spoke.
“Okay,” she said quietly, that simple word going straight to his heart. “Does it matter what I bring?”
“No, bring whatever you want,” he quickly assured her, grinning from ear to ear. “Bring whatever makes you feel comfortable, Bird.”
“Okay,” she said again, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. He shivered, his body warm and aching with need but also impossibly heavy from how tired he was. He just wanted one night with her where they were both well-rested and Gwyn was being as bold as she had been the other night. Was that too much to ask?
His eyes darted to her lips, but he forced himself to focus on the conversation. “I’ll clear out some space for you tomorrow. We can figure everything else out later.”
She smiled, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight streaming in from the windows. Gods, she was gorgeous; he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. He turned back to the buttons, his mind fuzzy from exhaustion and arousal. He wasn’t normally this…frazzled, but she seemed to have that effect on him.
He chewed on his bottom lip, resolutely contemplating the buttons beneath his fingers but hopelessly getting distracted when he noticed her nipples become peaked beneath the thin fabric. He felt his control slipping, his head dipping unconsciously while she played with his hair, his cock throbbing almost painfully. All he could think about was bringing his mouth to her breasts and letting his tongue explore her until she was moaning beneath him.
When his shadows slithered toward her chest, his head snapped up, panic flaring as he realized what he had almost done. He hadn’t realized his shadows had been following the same direction his head had been falling, his thoughts leading them down the same path.
He frantically searched for something to distract himself again and latched on to the worst possible solution, one that he realized a moment too late would only make things worse. But the words were already coming out, his mouth betraying him.
“What is the purpose of these damn buttons?” He asked roughly, giving her nightgown a frustrated tug. He wasn’t sure why, but he found the buttons abominably frustrating. “They seem pointless.”
She giggled softly. “They’re decorative.”
He huffed. “That’s my point. What is the purpose of having buttons that aren’t meant to be unbuttoned?”
She gave him a patient smile, lightly tracing his jaw with her fingertips again before responding. “If they frustrate you that much, then unbutton them.”
His eyes shot to hers, unexpectedly finding her eyes full of heat. He swallowed, need and worry intermingling. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, smiling softly despite the fiery determination in her eyes. Any other protests he had died on his tongue, his breathing turning shallow as he tore his eyes away from her, slowly turning back to the buttons on her nightgown.
His fingers hovered above the top button, hesitating before gently popping it open, his eyes darting to hers while his hand drifted to the next button. When she didn’t protest, he popped the next one, then the next, just like she had done to him earlier, taking his time until he reached the last button just below her sternum. With one final tug, the top of her nightgown was completely undone, leaving him free to open it wider if he pleased. And oh did he want to.
He leaned farther up, shifting off his elbow to hover above her, holding himself up with one arm by her head to keep from crushing her. He watched her face carefully as his free hand twitched toward the now open line of buttons. He raised one eyebrow in question, waiting to see her reaction before he let his fingers move any farther. His shadows echoed his behavior, hovering restlessly above them, silently waiting for her nod of approval.
And then, she nodded slowly, not a single sign of hesitation on her face. He almost moaned in relief, pure male satisfaction flooding him as his eyes darted back down, drinking her in. He slowly peeled back the edges of her nightgown, folding one side over until it was barely covering her peaked nipple, then doing the same on the other side.
With her nightgown gaping open for him, he carefully brought his hand back up to her face, tracing her jaw with his fingers, then her lips. Working his way down until his fingertips were ghosting along her collarbone, dipping lower and lower until they reached the swell of her breasts. He sucked in a breath, savoring her soft skin beneath his hand.
His lips curved into a satisfied smirk when a flush spread across her chest, her breath coming in short gasps while he traced the outline of her breasts. He followed the curve of her body down, lightly running his fingers between her perfect mounds, taking his time until he reached the bottom of her sternum, finally snagging on her nightgown.
He studied her face for a moment again, but when she still didn’t say anything, he dipped his head. It was his mouth’s turn to explore. He smirked against her when she gasped at the first contact of his lips, goosebumps erupting where his breath tickled her skin. He looked up once more to make sure she was still okay, only to find her face full of curiosity and desire. It urged him on, making his cock ache even more and his lips move almost of their own accord.
He trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down her collarbone, then followed the same path his fingers had mapped. His tongue darted out to trace the curve of her breasts, his teeth grazing across her skin occasionally. Her hands fisted his hair, her eyes snapping shut as he explored every inch of skin he could reach. Her scent wafted around him; the sweet fragrance almost intoxicating. Ocean and honey and apples; a scent that was utterly and uniquely her. He wanted more, needed more. His mind could focus on one thing and one thing only: her.
But for once, his shadows became the voice of reason, wrapping tightly around his wrist when his free hand moved toward her breast. He tried shaking them away, but they refused to heed his commands, holding his hand frozen above her heaving chest. You shouldn’t. It would break your promise to her. His shadows whispered, still holding his wrist in place.
As the words sunk in, he paused his movements, his mouth coming to a stop between her breasts, his promises from the other night hitting him like a tidal wave. Oh gods, his shadows were right. He had stopped her from doing similar things just a few days ago when she had been exhausted, promising her that they could explore more when they were both more awake. He hadn’t wanted her to regret anything, yet here he was, about to take things much farther while he was practically aching with exhaustion.
He stopped fighting his shadows, silently thanking them for helping him keep his promise to Gwyn. Fuck. What was he thinking? He shouldn’t have let things go this far, but he couldn’t think clearly. His mind was a mess of fatigue from days of working himself to the bone and unadulterated need. He was past the point of just wanting Gwyn; he needed her.
His shadows slowly released him, their relief mingling with his. He let his head fall to her chest for the second time that night, collapsing half on top of her, his wings falling to either side of him. He felt her hands fall to his shoulders but was unable to lift his face to look at her. He stayed where he was, breathing unevenly as he tried to calm himself.
“Azriel, what’s wrong?” She asked breathlessly. The scent of her arousal still wafted around him, clouding his senses further. But he clung to the promise he had made her, fisting his hand in her nightgown to keep himself grounded.
“Nothing. I’m fine, Bird. I promise,” he murmured, letting his eyes flutter shut. When he felt her stiffen slightly, words fell from his lips, the need to reassure her overtaking him. “Gwyn, don’t worry. I’m just tired. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I would ask if I could keep going, but I’m not sure that we should right now.”
“Oh, okay,” she murmured, her hands slowly moving to stroke his bare shoulders. He focused on her breathing, trying to calm his racing heart. “This seems to keep happening, doesn’t it?”
He raised his head enough to see her face only to find her with a small smile on her lips. He let out a breathless laugh, giving the valley between her breasts one more kiss before quickly buttoning her nightgown again. If he left it open, he wasn’t sure he’d survive the night without slipping a hand underneath.
“Yes, it does,” He chuckled, letting his body fall into the pillows next to her, burying his head in the crook of her neck, his wing falling across her body softly. “I’m sorry. I can be patient, Gwyn. I promise, I can be patient.”
She sighed, twining her fingers in his hair, her other hand stroking his back. “It’s okay. You’re tired. There’s nothing to apologize for. I trust you.” She paused, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe we should just schedule something.”
“Gwyn, honey, I’m going to need you to be more specific,” he groaned, his shadows settling in around him as his body slowly calmed down. “I’m all for planning ahead, but what exactly are we planning?”
She laughed against him. “Time. We’re planning for time. A time when we’re both awake, like you said the other night.”
“Then what?”
“Then…we see what happens, I guess,” she shyly explained, her skin growing warmer. “I’m not really sure what I want, Az. I just know I want…something more.”
He groaned in frustration against her neck, her words going straight to his already hard cock. Her hand froze on his back, her body going still before she quietly spoke.
“Is that bad?”
He raised his head to look at her again, an almost pained expression on his face. “No,” he sighed, his body warring with itself. “It’s perfect. And that’s the problem.”
“What do you mean?” She asked innocently, her eyes utterly trusting. He groaned again, falling back into her shoulder. She resumed stroking his back, waiting patiently for an answer.
“Gwyneth, what I mean is that you are making me extremely aroused, and I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” he carefully explained, huffing a laugh when she made a little “Oh” sound. “Bird, how about the day after tomorrow? We can figure out the details then.”
He wasn’t entirely sure what those details meant, but he knew his imagination would likely run wild for the next two days.
“Umm, okay, the day after tomorrow. It’s a date,” she agreed, her body relaxing into the pillows. They fell silent, but not for long. Soon, he realized there was no way he could fall asleep without some sort of distraction. Dirty thoughts about Gwyn he could deal with, but having her body so close and feeling how deliciously warm and pliant she was was too much for him to handle.
“Gwyn?” He groaned once again.
“Yes?” She laughed.
“Distract me. Please.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. Talk to me. Tell me about a book. Ask me more sex questions. Anything. Please.” He didn’t care if he sounded desperate because he was desperate. He needed to talk. It didn’t matter what it was about.
She hummed quietly. “Won’t sex questions make it worse?”
“No. Thinking about sex is far easier than thinking about how hard I am right now,” he responded, words once again leaving him without thought. This was starting to get dangerous; he had completely stopped caring what came out of his mouth. Gods he needed sleep.
She giggled but didn’t comment on how loose lipped he had become. She contemplated his request for a long moment, but finally indulged him, seeming unfazed by her own question. If the topic made her nervous, she didn’t show it.
“Okay, I’ll ask a sex question,” she chirped. He closed his eyes, letting himself relax into her while he focused on her question. “I know you’ve probably done a lot of things, but what is one thing you’ve always wanted to do with a partner but have never been able to?”
He grinned against her skin, an answer already at the tip of his tongue, but he wanted to tease her first. “I’m not sure you’re ready for this answer, Bird. It’s quite scandalous.”
She tsked, poking his shoulder. “Tell me. You’re the one who wanted to be distracted.”
He chuckled, the sound coming out on a yawn. “Okay, fine. I’ve always wanted to make love to someone at that lake I took you to.”
She gasped quietly in shock, her fingers pausing on his skin for a moment before resuming their movements. “Really? Then…why haven’t you…done it? It doesn’t seem that wild. Is it?”
“No, it’s not that wild,” he chuckled, amused by her utter placidness at the idea of having sex in the open by a lake. He would most definitely have to explore that later. “But I don’t want it to be with just anyone. Much like the meadow you like so much, that lake is special to me. If I make love to someone there, I want it to be with someone who matters. Someone who loves it as much as I do. Like you.”
“Oh,” she said simply, her fingers absently grazing dangerously close to the top of his wings as she thought about his answer. He stiffened, knowing he would fully lose all restraint if she touched him there. He needed her to keep talking, or to make him keep talking. Anything to distract him.
He opened his mouth to speak, to draw her attention elsewhere, but it was too late. Her fingers made contact with his wings, gently tracing a line along the top edge, following the curve from the tip down toward his back. His body reacted before he could think, delicious waves of pleasure washing over him as a sound somewhere between a moan and a gasp escaped him.
“Gwyn…” he breathed, trying to find the words to tell her why this was a terrible idea, but failing miserably. His words died on his tongue as her hand kept moving, his resistance crumbling into dust.
“Hmm?” She murmured, still focused on what she was doing. She paused for a moment, then added. “Your wings feel like leathery suede. I’d always wondered what they felt like. They’re so smooth.”
He huffed a laugh, desperately clinging to his last shreds of sanity as her fingers kept gliding down, innocently exploring his wings. His cock was throbbing with every stroke of her fingers, but he knew that if she reached the spot near the base of his wings, right above his shoulder blades, he would come undone completely. But he couldn’t move, the softness of her touch was sending him barreling toward ecstasy faster than any lover he had ever had.
His body refused to cooperate, leaving him no choice but to turn to his shadows. He silently commanded them to stop her, urging them to be as gentle as possible. A few more seconds and he was going to fall over the edge, the pleasure building in his body was already almost unbearable. His shadows heeded his command, swirling around Gwyn’s wrist as they often did. Normally, their movements were playful, but this time, they gently tugged on her, pushing her hand away from his wings.
She gasped, snapping her hands away from him in shock. His shadows instantly retreated, worriedly watching her. Azriel slowly pushed himself up until he was hovering above her, his breathing ragged from the pleasure still lingering from her touch. Her face was shocked, but not fearful, which he silently thanked the cauldron for.
“Are…are you okay?” She quietly asked, her eyes searching his face. He breathed deeply, trying to shake off the haze of pleasure she had accidentally caused. “Your shadows have never done that before.”
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” he promised her, brushing his thumb along her jaw. She frowned, her nose scrunching in the adorable way that he knew meant she was concentrating. “Umm…has Emerie or Nesta ever told you about Illyrian wings?”
She frowned. “Just about the wingspan thing,” she replied, blushing slightly. “Did I do something wrong, Azriel? I…I was just curious what your wings felt like.”
“Gwyn, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise,” he said quickly, shaking his head vigorously. She searched his face again, waiting. “I’m…my wings are just very sensitive, Bird.”
“Oh,” she said, a slight furrow between her brows. He swallowed rapidly, trying to clear his head so he could focus. This would be so much easier if he wasn’t exhausted. “Did I hurt you?”
“What? No!” He blurted, shaking his head again. “It’s not sensitive like that, Gwyn. Well, they can be, but…damnit I don’t know how to explain this to you.”
He brushed a hand through his hair in irritation, falling onto one elbow next to her. She leaned up, studying him patiently. She softly pulled his hand away from his face, twining her fingers with his and holding it between them.
“Azriel, just tell me, please,” she pressed gently, her teal eyes holding nothing but concern. “I don’t understand, but I want to. You can tell me, it’s okay.”
He groaned, chewing on his bottom lip. She waited for him to gather his thoughts, her eyes never leaving his as mulled over his words. Finally, with a squeeze of her hand, he spoke.
“Gwyn, Illyrian Wings, when touched in the right way, can be a pleasure point,” he slowly said, watching as her eyes went wide. He forced himself to keep talking, ignoring the blush that crept up her neck. “For most Illyrians, if they trust their partner enough and their wings are stimulated in the correct way, they can reach…climax simply from the touch of their lover.”
Her jaw dropped, her blush fully coloring her cheeks now. She opened her mouth to speak, then snapped it shut, a nervous giggle erupting from her lips. He quietly chuckled, relaxing slightly as he forced himself to finish his explanation.
“While it’s normal for Illyrians to have sensitive wings,” he began, sucking in a deep breath before finishing his sentence. “Mine are more sensitive than average…which is why my shadows stopped you from continuing what you were doing.”
Her eyes had become impossibly large, her free hand coming up to her mouth as he finished his explanation. He held his breath, waiting for her to respond and hoping she understood what he was trying to say. Her hand came down from her face, her mouth once again opening before snapping shut again. He waited anxiously, his heart beating rapidly.
“So, I…I almost made you…climax?” She finally asked hesitantly, another nervous giggle escaping her when he slowly nodded. “Oh my gods, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I…I just…oh gods. I can’t believe I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
He laughed, relaxing once he realized she wasn’t upset. “It’s okay, honey,” he promised her, squeezing her hand again. “You didn’t know. I should have told you. I…I liked it, but it’s not the best idea right now.”
She nodded in agreement, smiling shyly at him. “I’ll be more careful with your wings, Az,” she responded, tugging him closer as she fell onto her back. “But…am I allowed to touch your wings…eventually?”
Her question almost stunned him. “I…I’d like that,” he blinked, his body frozen halfway to his previous position by her shoulder. “If you want to, of course. It’s not something I would expect you to do, Gwyn. Not if you don’t want to.”
“I know,” she smiled, gently releasing his hand and tugging on his arm to bring him back down to her. He obediently lowered his body down, nestling his head in the crook of her neck and draping one wing over her again. “But…I want to. Not yet, but eventually. Will you teach me, when I’m ready?”
“Of course,” he promised slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. How was she real? She was so curious and determined and fearless. He adored her so damn much. “I’ll teach you anything you want.”
She hummed in satisfaction, settling herself into a comfortable position beneath him. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on anything besides the continued throbbing of his cock. He needed a distraction again, something to take his mind off the intense pleasure she had inadvertently given him. He had gotten dangerously close to an orgasm, and now he was far too aroused to fall asleep, even with his body aching from exhaustion.
“Do you have any other sex questions?” He playfully asked, trying to sound as unaffected as possible, but needing her to make him talk again. Her hand thankfully fell back to his shoulder, absently soothing him while a soft humming coming from her as she considered his request. He suddenly had the urge to sing, but he held back, not wanting to startle her from her gentle tune. It sounded like a lullaby, but he wasn’t quite sure. As she continued humming, his eyes grew heavier, his body slowly relaxing completely.
“If you could do anything to me right now, no holding back, what would you do?” She quietly asked after a minute, only pausing whatever tune she was humming long enough to ask the question. His mouth opened without thinking, words falling from his tongue. He was too entranced by her perfect lullaby, even if she was only humming. He could only imagine what it would be like if she were to sing it.
“Hmm, I’d take you back to that grove of trees, the one by the estate we’ve been monitoring,” he murmured, unsure if she was even listening. She kept humming softly, lulling him toward sleep even while he kept speaking. “I would press you against that tree, then kiss you. Thoroughly tasting you before I lifted you up, wrapping those long legs around me, preferably bare this time. And there would be no interruptions. It would just be us.”
He paused for a moment, his mind drifting into his own imagination. He was lost in his dream, not even aware if he was still speaking or if it was all in his head, a blissful product of his thoughts.
“I’d keep kissing you, not quite pressing my body into yours until you moved first. I’d wait until you pressed into me before I rocked my hips. Then I’d grind against you, bringing you close to the edge, but not quite sending you over. You would beg me for more, and I would give it to you. I’d sink my fingers into you, fucking you with them until you were coming undone. Then, after you were fully satisfied and ready for me, I would…”
Azriel and Gwyn return from their spy mission exhausted and just a little bit needy after the night’s activities.
Note: Didn’t want to wait another day, so I decided to post early! Hope you all enjoy this little scene!
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Fluff, with a touch of steam.
Word Count: 2,438
Masterlist
Azriel slowly carried Gwyn to his bedroom when they arrived back at the House of Wind. She was already half asleep, her arms clinging to his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist, her head drooping down to his shoulder. He couldn’t blame her; he was equally exhausted. He hadn’t been planning on staying out for surveillance all night, but it was simply what happened sometimes.
When he reached his room, his shadows dutifully opened his door, allowing him to walk in without releasing Gwyn. He didn’t bother turning on the fae lights, since the sun was beginning to rise. Instead, he instructed his shadows to pull the drapes closed across the windows, turning the room dark again.
Sleep. His shadows instructed, swirling around him and the priestess in his arms protectively. I will, he promised. Just as soon as he got Gwyn to bed. His shadows immediately swooped in to help, pulling back the covers on the bed so he could easily set her down. She released him without a fuss, blinking slowly as she scooted back toward the pillows.
“Go to sleep, I’ll be there in a minute,” he quietly promised, his body growing heavier by the second from exhaustion. He turned away, too tired to wait for her response before he started readying himself for bed. He headed for his desk, already unbuckling Truth-Teller from his side, but Gwyn’s soft voice halted him.
“Az, wait,” she called, rubbing her eyes, her reddish-brown hair coming undone from its braid. “Could you help me? Please.”
He bit back a sigh, his shoulders sagging. He adored her, but right now even the thought of getting himself ready for bed was daunting, let alone helping her. He shook his head, attempting to banish his fatigue before walking back to Gwyn. It wasn’t her fault he was so tired.
“What do you need, Bird?” He asked, meeting her expectant stare. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to just fall into bed next to her, but he knew she would end up half on top of him, and his siphons didn’t make good pillows.
“I can’t sleep in these leathers, but I can’t get the buckles right now,” she explained apologetically, her own exhaustion showing in the defeated tone of her voice. With that small change in her tone, every complaint he had crumbled.
“Gwyn, honey, I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking,” he admitted, running his hands through his hair. Gods, this had been such a good night, even with the unexpected all-night aspect of it, but he was so damn tired.
“Help me change, please,” she pleaded, her long lashes drooping closed even as she tugged fruitlessly at her boots. If he had been more alert, he might have questioned if she was sure, but he was too tired to think, so he simply sat down, pulling her legs into his lap in the process.
He slowly unlaced her boots, pulling them off one by one and letting his shadows carry them to his wardrobe. Then came the socks, followed by the dagger he had had her sheath to her side earlier that evening. He thought that was all she had wanted, so he moved to stand, but she held up her arms.
“Az, help, please,” she pressed, her bottom lip jutting out adorably. He froze, the realization of just how much help she wanted hitting him. For a moment, he considered refusing, if only because she wasn’t entirely coherent, but the thought immediately died on his tongue when a small whine left her lips, telling him just how tired she was.
He instantly sat back down, reaching for her without any further hesitation. She sighed, her shoulders sagging in relief when his hands found the straps on her leathers. He had worn leathers long enough to be able to remove them swiftly, even when he was beyond exhausted.
When he had all the straps undone, he hesitated for a small moment before lifting the top over her head, but his resistance once again died when he looked at her. She was trying, and failing, to keep her eyes open. His beautiful priestess; utterly drained from her first proper spy mission.
He took a deep breath, willing himself not to think about everything they had done tonight while he stripped off her leathers. He slowly lifted the top, Gwyn raising her arms obediently to help him, his hands gliding along her bare skin as he undressed her. He was suddenly far more alert than he had been a moment before. She felt so damn good.
A moment later, he had the top off, exposing her almost bare torso to him, nothing but the band around her breasts hiding anything. He swallowed several times, images from earlier flooding his mind despite his attempts to ignore them. He still hadn’t completely recovered from everything that had happened earlier.
He had been overjoyed that she was being so openly curious and…bold with him, but it had been a test of his self-control like nothing he had faced before. To have her pressing her body into his, the sweet scent of her arousal making him almost dizzy with need - it was enough to bring him to his knees. He desperately wished they hadn’t been interrupted; he wanted to know what she had been about to do next.
But he couldn’t go back now, so he shoved the thoughts away, focusing on the present. Gwyn needed him, and that was all that mattered. They could explore everything else later.
“Do you want help with your pants too or?” He quietly asked, letting his words hang in the air while his eyes dipped to the buckles at her waist. He had never imagined the first time he stripped her to be like this, yet, somehow, it seemed to suit them. She always surprised him, and this was no different.
“Yes, please,” she nodded, stifling a yawn with her hand. He gave her a crooked grin, his heart aching fiercely. He had wanted this, to have her in his room, to see the drowsy and ruffled side of her more often. And now he had it, more often than he had ever expected. It was a gift, everything she offered him was a gift, and he cherished every second of it.
He gave her a long look, then got to work on her pants, undoing the buckles easily. This time, he didn’t hesitate, quickly helping her shimmy out of the tight leathers until she was left in nothing but her underthings. She smiled at him gratefully, not seeming to care that his eyes were roaming lazily across her bare body.
“Thank you,” she yawned, snapping his attention back to her face. He was certain he was forgetting something, but he couldn’t think, not with her sitting in his bed almost naked. He wanted every night to be like this.
“Uh, you’re welcome,” he replied breathlessly, leaping up from the bed and striding to his desk to remove his siphons. He heard her shifting around, but didn’t look, needing a moment to calm himself. When he had removed his weapons and siphons, he walked to his wardrobe, stripping off his own leathers as quickly as possible.
When he walked back out, ready to throw himself on the bed and sleep the day away, he froze, his cock going almost instantly hard in his undershorts. Now he knew what he had forgotten. Pajamas. She needed pajamas.
Gwyn was sitting in the exact place he had left her, idly combing through her hair with her fingers, her face turned away from him. But she had removed the band from around her breasts, leaving her entire torso bare. He could see her peaked nipples from where he stood, the ache in his cock growing steadily.
On any other night, he would have welcomed her sleeping topless next to him, but he didn’t have the energy for self-control at the moment. He forced himself to move, stepping back into his wardrobe and grabbing one of his sweaters before walking out again.
This time, she looked up, her face utterly peaceful and trusting. He couldn’t stop his eyes from darting back to her breasts again as he walked to the bed, biting his lip as he imagined putting his hands on her perfect mounds and sucking on those pert nipples. Fuck. He needed sleep. And a cold bath. A very cold bath.
She smiled innocently at him when he sat on the edge of the bed next to her, obediently lifting her arms when she saw the sweater in his hands. He pulled it over her head quickly, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning when his fingers grazed the side of her breasts. Cauldron help him, he wanted her. All of her. And after tonight, his restraint had crumbled.
“Comfortable?” He asked, wanting to make sure she had everything she needed before he got into bed. Once his head hit that pillow, he wasn’t leaving for a while.
“Yes, thank you, Az,” Gwyn grinned, leaning up to kiss him. Her lips glided smoothly with his, her hands roaming his chest. He groaned softly, opening his mouth for her and letting her take the lead while his hands gripped her waist, tugging her against him.
She pulled him deeper into the kiss, her arms twining around his back as her fingertips scraped gently across his skin. He leaned forward, one hand dropping down to pull one of her legs around him, allowing her to press her body firmly into him. He could feel her peaked nipples through the fabric of her sweater, his hands hesitantly slipping down to stroke her thighs, slowly gliding up to the edge of her panties.
Her hips bucked ever so slightly toward him, her core not quite meeting his due to the position of her other leg, but he noticed the movement all the same. Every logical thought left him. The only thing he could think of was her. His hands slipped to the edge of her sweater, a groan escaping him as her tongue explored his mouth eagerly.
When she moved her other leg to straddle him, his eyes shot open. No. No, this was happening too fast. Gwyn wasn’t thinking straight. She was exhausted and, if the way his body felt was any indication, she was still needy and aching from their earlier activities. As much as he wanted this, he couldn’t let her keep going. Not like this. When she finally let him have her, in whatever way that was, she needed to be fully lucid. Not fatigued and almost incoherent.
He grabbed her leg, stopping her from straddling his lap. He let himself have one last moment of her mouth on his, savoring her taste, then pulled away, dropping his head to her shoulder. She gasped, clinging to his back as they caught their breaths.
“Gwyn, honey, I am so sorry, but I think we should slow down,” he finally forced out, lifting his head to meet her confused gaze. He wanted to take back what he had said, but behind the confusion, he could see her fatigue. As much as he hated it, he had done the right thing. “We’re both exhausted, Bird. Neither of us are thinking clearly right now.”
She blinked, slowly processing his words. He waited anxiously, praying she would understand. When she finally nodded softly, he breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’re right,” she slowly said, brushing her fingers along his jaw. “I…I don’t…I’m not sure what came over me, Az. I…I’m - ”
“Gwyn, stop, it’s okay,” he assured her, stroking her leg. “I understand. I feel the same way.”
“You do?” She questioned, rubbing her eyes. He nodded, massaging her leg in soothing circles. “I…I just wanted you. When I kissed you, I just wanted you.”
“I know, honey, I know. I want you too,” he promised, shifting forward so he could lay her back in the bed. She didn’t argue, letting him move her under the covers. When she was comfortable, he went on. “Gwyn, we’re both tired. And we’re both more than a little aroused. It’s normal to react like that, but I don’t want to risk you regretting anything we do together.”
“You’re right,” she finally smiled, watching as he crawled over her to lay beside her. “I’m not thinking straight. I’m sorry.”
He settled next to her, lying on his back as she shifted toward him. “You have nothing to apologize for, Gwyn,” he reassured her, pulling her against his chest. “I want you more than anything, Bird. I understand what you’re feeling.”
He felt her relax against him, the lingering tension in her body easing, telling him his words had hit their target. Good, he thought. He didn’t want her worrying that she had done something wrong. He was a willing participate in everything she had done.
She brought a hand up to his neck, absently running her fingers along his throat. “Az, when we’re not so tired, do you think we could maybe…try other things?”
“Of course, Bird,” he agreed. There was nothing he would enjoy more than letting her do whatever she wanted with him; he would happily keep this promise. “Anything you want.”
She hummed her satisfaction, the sound vibrating through him, going straight to his still hardened cock. Gods he hated that he had to refuse her, yet, at the same time, he knew it was the right thing to do. He could already feel his body relaxing toward sleep, and her breathing was growing softer by the minute.
“Az?” She murmured, her hand gliding down his bare chest.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for tonight.”
He softly chuckled. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out quite how you had hoped.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” she replied, leaning up to see his face, her eyelids heavy with drowsiness. “Your job isn’t exactly predictable. I understand.”
“That’s the life of a spy, I suppose,” he said wryly, stroking her back gently.
She giggled, leaning her forehead against his. “It’s okay. It’s not that bad as long as I get to spend time with you.”
He slowly smiled, pulling her down for a gentle kiss. “You’re right, it’s not that bad when you’re with me.”
She gave him one more soft kiss in response, then settled against his chest once more. He wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes and letting her soft breathing lull him to sleep, his shadows keeping watch as they slowly drifted off together.
Azriel tries to help a certain priestess leave the library and see the city with the help of his shadows.
If you haven’t read the Gwyn POV of this scene, I recommend checking it out. You can find it here!
Note: Next week I will start posting new scenes for A Song of Shadows again! It may be inconsistent because of school, but I will do my best to keep updating things while I am in my program.
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel X Gwyn
Warnings: Fluff
Word Count: 947
Masterlist
Azriel stood silently in the darkness, concealed by his shadows just inside the doorway that led out to Velaris. His eyes were trained solely on the figure before him, watching, waiting. He had lost track of how long he had stood there, hoping she would open the door, that she would find the courage to walk out into the world.
He had followed her down the stairs in curiosity, not wanting to disturb whatever she was doing but unable to deny the pull he felt whenever she was near. He couldn’t stay away. Even now, when he knew he was spying, he couldn’t bring himself to leave her.
Her fingers hovered mere inches from the door, her steady breathing the only sound in the darkness. He stood motionless, afraid one movement would give away his presence. Yet, he couldn’t deny his shadows from swirling toward her, whispering silent encouragements that only he could hear. Go, they whispered to her. You can do it.
Azriel wished he could help her, to take her hand and walk out into the city with her, but he knew his unexpected presence might startle her, and he refused to risk frightening her when she was so close. Just a turn of the knob and she would be outside, the lights of Velaris greeting her like an old friend.
The longer they stood there, the more Azriel loosened his hold on his shadows, allowing them to go to her. Every second felt like an eternity as he watched her, his heart aching to reach out, to touch her. She was so close. His shadows whispered the words he couldn’t, silently urging her forward. You can do it, they promised. We’re with you.
The shadows became a steady pulse around her, their whispers a silent chorus in the darkness, gently holding her hand in a way their master wasn’t yet able to. Finally, after what felt like forever and yet no time at all, he saw her slowly inch closer to the door, only a step away now. And still, the shadows whispered, Go, we’re with you.
For a moment, he feared she was about to turn around. His breath caught, his arm stretching toward her unconsciously, every fiber of his being aching to tell her that she wasn’t alone, that she could do this. Just as he almost touched her shoulder, her fingers touched the knob, slowly wrapping around the cold metal.
He let out a silent thank you to the gods, joy flooding him as his shadows eagerly cheered her on. She was so close, only a breath away now, one simple movement of her wrist. Yes, do it, the shadows urged, swirling around her in comforting circles. We’re with you.
She slowly turned the handle, letting the door swing towards her as Azriel felt his heart burst with pride. She had done it; she had opened the door. The city was right in front of her, its lights calling, beckoning her to come see. To experience. To live. His shadows softly nudged her from behind, a silent promise echoing through them, assuring her they were still there.
She took a deep breath, then stepped out, unaware of the swirling shadows around her, or of the shadowsinger quietly following behind her. He kept a safe distance, watching with joy and pride as she took in the city.
The lights of Velaris seemed to draw her farther and farther into the city, her face filled with wonder as she looked around her in awe. He had never seen such uninhibited joy and life before. He couldn’t help but match the broad smile on her face with one of his own, his heart glowing with something he couldn’t quite name.
She wandered for hours, a swirl of shadows never far behind. He knew, somewhere deep down inside, that she would return to the city, that she would no longer keep hiding in the library, and he wanted to be a part of that journey. For whatever, unknown reason, he wanted to be by her side as she explored, as she lived.
As she finally made her way home, he felt an odd sense of serenity, as though her happiness had spilled over and become one with his joy. He felt lighter, calmer, like a restless part of him had finally found peace as he watched this beautiful and strong female discover the wonders of the place he called home.
He paused a few paces away from her as she reached for the door back to the library, his shadows swirling between them. She turned around for a moment, seeming to take in the sprawling city one last time before her eyes fell on the spot where he was still hidden.
If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she could see him, or perhaps sense him, but his shadows prevented that from being possible. Yet, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing when a small smile formed on her lips, an inquisitive look sparkling in her eyes. He stared back, unconsciously taking a step toward her, drawn to her as he always was.
His shadows stopped him, holding him back even while they radiated joy at seeing her so peaceful and content. She looked in his direction a moment longer, then shook her head and turned back to the door, walking into the library and leaving him staring after her with a heart full of happiness and pride…and something more, that feeling he couldn’t name yet.
But if she had turned around, she would have noticed wings slowly appear in the shadows, followed by their owner, quietly watching her disappear into the darkness.
As Azriel sees Gwyn fall in battle, causing something to snap in his chest.
Note: Option 1 from my poll yesterday won, so here is that one shot!
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Mentions of blood. Angsty fluff.
Word Count: 1,195
Masterlist
Azriel plunged deeper into the battlefield, downing enemy after enemy as he fought toward Beron's internal lines, keeping a watchful eye on the two Valkyrie who fought close to him.
He hated the idea of Gwyn and Emerie, or even Nesta for that matter, joining the battle, but he knew better than to argue with them. He had trained the girls himself; they could hold their own. But even knowing that, his heart had still been an aching mess of worry from the moment Gwyn had dawned armor and set out with him.
But the priestess had proven she was more than capable of handling herself, managing to keep up with him as he tore through Beron's soldiers with a fury he normally kept well-contained. But this wasn't a regular battle. He had Gwyn with him, and Emerie and Nesta and the rest of his family. He couldn't lose this fight, no matter how many extra soldiers and tricks Beron had bargained Koschei for. There was too much at stake.
Luckily, Rhys and Cassian, who were towards the front with the rest of the group while Azriel fought from the side, had thinned the army coming at them. Just as soon as Rhys made it to Beron, this battle would end. They just needed to last a few more minutes. He could feel Rhys drawing closer, Lucien and Eris flanking him.
A moment later, the waves of armies stopped; whatever spell Koshchei had helped Beron use to keep the soldiers mindless had broken. The remains of the enemy slowly fell to the ground, unconscious or willingly surrendering. Only a stray soldier here and there who was more loyal to Beron than they were Eris still gave fight, and they would be quickly taken care of.
Azriel felled one more stray soldier, then turned to find Gwyn, who had fallen slightly behind with Emerie. Her head whipped toward him, a grin spreading across her face as the battle died down around them, but she turned a moment too late. And he was too far away.
A stray soldier lunged from the ground toward Gwyn, thrusting his sword into her side a second before Emerie could deliver the killing blow.
A scream tore its way out of Azriel's throat, his shadows flooding the battlefield as he watched his worst nightmare happen right in front of him. The blade tore through Gwyn, bringing her to her knees with a look of shock as Emerie killed the male who had executed the blow.
Time seemed to stop as something in Azriel's chest snapped so hard it almost brought him to his knees. He mindlessly rushed toward Gwyn, slaughtering anyone and anything that dared get in his way. He reached her in seconds, the frantic thrumming still screaming at him as he took her in his arms. But he couldn't pay attention to it yet, not while Gwyn was hurt.
"Gwyn, honey, it's gonna be okay. I can fix this. You're gonna be all right," he promised, cradling her while he tried assessing her wounds, grateful when Mor and Nesta arrived and began tending to her as well.
He was fairly sure tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't care. All that mattered was stopping the flow of blood that was pouring from Gwyn's side. He needed her to live. Needed her to walk off this battlefield with him in one piece.
He didn't hear anything the others were saying as he held Gwyn in his arms, cradling her face while they worked to heal her. His shadows hovered protectively, doing their best to soothe Gwyn while he kept murmuring to her, trying to get her to look at him, to keep her eyes open.
When she finally met his gaze, her teal eyes sparkling despite her injury, he finally understood the wild thrumming in his chest, the one that seemed to be singing a word to him over and over again. The word that explained the sharp snap in his chest he had felt when she had fallen to the ground. Mate. Gwyn was his mate.
"Az, I'm okay, it's nothing," Gwyn weakly smiled at him, softly cupping his cheek as Mor, and now Feyre, healed her wounds, Nesta and Emerie anxiously hovering close by. "I'll be healed in no time at all. Then I can go back to kicking your ass in training."
He let out a strangled sound, half laugh half sob, unable to think of anything beside the word that kept flooding his mind. “You’re my mate,” he choked out, a sob wracking his body as he looked at her. “We’re mates. You’re my mate.”
She laughed, the sound easing the terror in his heart. That was the sound of his Gwyn. That was the lovely, musical laughter that always made him smile. She was going to be all right; he wasn’t going to lose her.
She brushed the tears away from his cheek, flashing a smile that was only for him. “It’s about time, Shadowsinger,” she murmured, her face softening as she studied him.
He raised an eyebrow at her, his throat too tight to form words. She laughed again, her nose crinkling, her face shining with love as she held his gaze.
“I’ve known for a while, I was just waiting for you to figure it out,” she explained, her words somehow not shocking him as much as he expected. A part of him felt like he already knew, but his heart had just needed an extra shove to understand. “You’re not mad, are you? That I didn’t tell you?”
He slowly shook his head, darting his eyes down to make sure her wound was almost healed. To his relief, Feyre and Mor had sealed the injury and were now kneeling next to Emerie and Nesta, the four of them watching as he held his mate closely, the battle ended.
He turned back to Gwyn, the tightness in his chest finally easing, replaced with a steady thrumming, an almost familiar melody humming through him. His shadows echoed the tune, swirling around them with a mixture of joy and a fierce protectiveness that was reserved only for him – and now his mate. His lovely Gwyn.
He carefully lifted her as he stood, preparing to take her home so they could see a healer just in case any of her wounds had done extra damage. She watched him patiently, waiting for him to find the words to speak.
“I’m not mad, my love,” he finally whispered, the tears that escaped his eyes now ones of joy. “You’re my mate. How could I ever be mad at you?”
“I love you,” Gwyn responded simply, leaning her forehead against his, her words for him and him alone. “And I am honored to be your mate.”
“I love you too, but…” he trailed off, losing himself in those teal eyes as he began to winnow them home, his focus entirely on Gwyn. “The honor is all mine, my love. My mate.”
She tilted her head back, then flashed that gorgeous smile again before softly kissing him, letting him sink into her as they disappeared into the shadows.
Gwyn gets lost in her own head, thoughts and memories surfacing and pulling her down into the icy waters.
Note: First, it’s good to be back! I will be on vacation soon, so I won’t be back with my main fic for a few more weeks, but I have some one shots to hold you over until then.
Second, this is something I have had in my drafts forever, but I wasn’t ready to post yet. It’s very dear to my heart. Enjoy!
If you would like to be tagged in updates, please let me know!
Read on AO3
Azriel x Gwyn
Warnings: Depression, angst, grief, anxiety.
Word Count: 1,776
Masterlist
Gwyn walked to her bedroom in a haze, her mind somehow both numb and full of chaos at the same time. The half-prepared roll of pastry dough she had been attempting to make was left abandoned on the kitchen counter, the need to escape her own mind too great to allow her time to clean up her workspace.
She walked into her and Azriel's shared bedroom without turning on the light, quickly stripping and throwing on one of Azriel's sweaters before crawling under the covers. She just wanted to forget, to escape the memories that still managed to resurface on days when she least expected it, making her feel like she was adrift in a raging sea with no way to pull herself back in.
It was so rare for her to have these moments now. Moments when the snap of a belt or the clatter of a bowl on the kitchen table sent her spiraling into the past – fear and grief overriding everything. Yet, when she did fall into the darkness of her memories, they felt as fresh as all those years ago. She wished they would stop, but, as Azriel would remind her, healing isn't linear. Neither is grief.
But today, she wished grief was linear. She wished she didn't feel so sad when absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She just wanted to forget. To be happy and not full of this aching pain all because a bowl had broken on the kitchen table and sent her into a spiral.
Mostly, she just wanted her mate, but he wouldn't be home until tomorrow. She refused to let her grief flow down the bond and worry him, so she carefully ignored the familiar pull in her chest that connected the two of them, slowly smothering it until it was completely closed off.
She would be fine, she promised herself. By the time Azriel got home, she would be back to her normal happy self, and he would never need to know about this. There was no reason to worry him. She just needed to let herself feel this hollow ache for a little while and then she could go back to normal. There was no reason to bother anyone, and especially not Azriel.
Despite her determination to simply wish away her feelings, one hour passed, then two, and still she felt no better. As the time dragged on, she only felt worse, a stream of irrational thoughts and insecurities beginning to float through her head. Each thought felt like a dagger to the heart. By the time a third hour had passed, she had almost convinced herself that Azriel deserved someone better, someone less troubled.
As though summoned by her traitorous thoughts, the bedroom door quietly opened, a swarm of shadows carefully blocking the light from seeping in. As Azriel slipped in the door, Gwyn's head popped up from the blankets, her face tear stained and full of sadness and shock.
"Hi," Azriel quietly greeted her, his face full of a loving frustration as he walked to the edge of the bed and sat by her. "Gwyn, honey, why are you so stubborn?"
She didn't answer, her mind too clouded by all the memories and insecurities that had flooded her. He brushed a stray tear from her cheek, brow furrowed, then he quickly removed his shirt and boots, along with his siphons and Truth-Teller. When he was finished, he crawled over her, his lips set in a frustrated line, worry clouding his eyes.
"Gwyn, why didn't you have Rhys call me back?" He questioned softly, propping himself on one elbow and tugging her to his chest with his other arm. "And don't try to tell me you were fine. I know you better than that."
She stared at him, silent tears falling as she tried to form words. When she finally managed to speak, her voice was a broken chord, pain lacing every note.
"I…I didn't want to bother you. You shouldn't have to deal with this all the time. I didn't want to be a burden."
A sob escaped her as she whispered the last word, her chest heaving as she gasped for air.
"Oh, Gwyn, my love," Azriel sighed, tucking her gently against his chest while she cried. "Is that why you closed off the bond?"
She weakly nodded against him, unsure if he saw it or not but unable to force herself to move away to find out. She wanted to hide, to tell him that he deserved better, but she could barely even move as her body shook with sobs.
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice that I couldn't feel you through the bond?" He asked quietly, one hand softly stroking her hair while the other cradled her to him. "Gwyn, the only reason I didn't winnow here the instant I felt the bond go silent was because I had to take care of an injured spy first."
He sighed heavily, pulling her tighter against him. When she still only cried, unable to respond, he went on.
"Gwyn, you're not a burden, nor could you ever be one," he firmly said, still softly stroking her hair. "You could never bother me. I want to take care of you. I want to be with you, even when you're sad. You're my mate and I love you. We're a team. Please don't shut me out."
At the pleading note in his voice, the rest of her crumbled, the walls she'd put around their bond instantly tumbling down. Her emotions flooded the bond, no doubt hitting him harder than they would have if she had simply left it open. The only sign that told her he felt all her pain was the tightening of his arms around her, his shadows swooping in to cocoon them protectively.
As all the hurt and sadness faded to a trickle, she finally registered his emotions thrumming across the golden tether that bound them. She let out a soft sob, tears streaming harder than ever when she felt comfort, worry, devotion and unending streams of love coming from him.
How could she ever doubt him? How could she ever think this male was anything less than utterly devoted to her? He had shown countless times how much he loved her, yet that horrible voice in her head that told her she didn’t deserve him always reared its ugly head on days like this. She hated it. Hated that any ounce of doubt could creep in. She loved him and he was hers. He was her mate.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, the words barely coherent through her tears. He tucked his head against hers, his shadows tracing soothing lines across her body while he cradled her. She sobbed even harder, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping her afloat. And, in that moment, maybe he was.
“Shhh, love. It’s okay. Try to breathe, honey,” he consoled her, murmuring in her ear softly. She focused on his words, the calming sound of his deep voice an anchor in the darkness. “Please just try to breathe, Gwyn. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re not alone, I’m right here.”
He kept murmuring to her as she tried to follow his commands, his patience never wavering even when it took her another hour before she could breathe for more than 5 minutes without sobbing. When she finally calmed down some and her tears had almost completely stopped, she finally pulled her head back to meet his worried gaze.
“If you’re about to apologize, don’t even think about it,” he commanded, his lips spreading into a thin line. She snapped her mouth shut, having been on the verge of doing exactly that. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, his eyes blazing as he watched her. “Gwyn, we’ve talked about this. Sometimes you have a bad day. So do I. It happens.”
“But…I just…I hate being a burden,” she argued, her voice barely a whisper. He sighed, gently rolling her onto her back and hovering above her. She sniffled, her bottom lip trembling while he softly kissed her forehead.
“Gwyn, you’re not a burden. And I will keep telling you that until you believe me,” he calmly replied, tilting her chin up when she tried to duck her face. “You’re always there for me when I have a bad day, so let me be here for you. Please.”
She managed a shaky nod, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face against his chest. He held onto her tightly, gently rolling them again so he could pull her into his lap. She tucked her face into his shoulder, letting his steady heartbeat calm her. When the tears eventually stopped and she was only left with the hollow ache in her heart to deal with, she finally looked at him, smiling when he tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she murmured. He smiled softly, leaning his forehead against hers, one hand cradling her face. “I love you, Azriel.”
“I love you too, Bird,” he whispered, his shadows swirling through her hair. “When was the last time you ate?”
“I’m not sure,” she admitted, knowing it had been far longer than it should have been. He frowned, seeing the truth on her face.
“How about I make your favorite soup?” He offered, his patience never wavering despite his obvious frustration. She was prone to not eating when she had days like this, and he hated it. She knew it often worried him more than her tears did.
“Soup sounds nice,” she replied, the tightness in her chest slowly easing. She knew it would take a while before the sadness passed, but she could at least breathe now. The worst was over.
He brushed back a lock of her hair, studying her before responding. “Okay. I’ll make soup, then we can go into the sitting room and cuddle by the fire. It’s raining. I know how much you love the rain, Bird.”
She gave him a shaky grin, happiness intermingling with the sadness. He knew her so well. “I’d like that. Will you read something to me?”
“Of course,” he instantly agreed, kissing her with such tenderness it made her heart ache with love. “Anything you want, my love.”
She smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder while he carried her down to the kitchen, his presence an anchor in the stormy sea of her heart. It would pass, like it always did. Until then, she would lean on her mate for support, letting him soothe her in ways that only he could.
