my happy page

when one can't rant to an individual, this is the next best thing!

[teandumplingswithcroissant]

I'm feeling crap. It's not a particularly specific feeling of what type of crap. It's just a general ... I feel shit.

[teandumplingswithcroissant]

There is so much rudeness in the world, but one trumps them all. Chatting out loud in a quiet train. Ugh.

[teandumplingswithcroissant]

We often forget how many people think of us dearly and would support us in a heartbeat when anxious feelings and thoughts close in on us. When the mind is whirring about the what ifs and hows, we rarely have space to think about the positives and the could be. I am lucky that sometimes before I reach out for my phone, someone checks up on me unexpectedly. Sometimes they become the next best thing to cry to and rant about whatever that's on my mind, and sometimes they then think to themselves that maybe they shouldn't reach out anymore... But there is kindness in what they do and how they try to help in their way or any other ways.

An anxious mind is a funny thing... It tries very much to detract me from the here and now. It keeps wanting me to worry about the past and tomorrow. It keeps signalling to me that doomsday is near. How do I quiet the mind that's so busy, that is always finding something to latch on and expand it in the worst possible way?

I don't know... I'm still learning

[teandumplingswithcroissant]

Today was especially productive, considering the vicious email received late on a Saturday implying I'm not doing my job proper. Things like that weigh on my mind a lot... It's even worse because those thoughts constantly ruminate and refuses to let up despite what I do to not think about it. Anxiety is a funny thing... Just when I thought I finally am able to understand it enough to control it somewhat, it bursts through the door and takes me by surprised... Again.

[teandumplingswithcroissant]

There is tea and there is tea with dumplings. Croissant is for another day but when one has tea with dumplings, it just makes it all so much wholesome and happier. A happy meal is never a waste of calories or time. One should really invest in a happier meal all the time.