did some Tumblr perusing for the first time in 2 years and it feels like ass. i have so much contempt for pre-2024 me, i was so stagnant and passive and i just let life happen to me, and i know why i was that way and i'm glad i've started to turn my life around but i don't think i'll ever look back on these years and have anything good to say about them. my therapist says i have tunnel vision when i think about myself, that i'm always focusing on the negatives without allowing space for the positives but i don't really think that's true, i can acknowledge the good things in my life and the progress i've made but the reality is that it's just not enough, if i sum up all the choices and decisions and actions i've made and taken it's a net negative, which means i'm still not a fully functional person and i don't know when i will be one and that sucks!!
