emo poetry

[teebrewz]

Self care is a shower

It’s not even realizing you’ve been in there a whole hour

Self care is not eating the food that makes my stomach feel sour

Self care is staying away from people that make me feel low

Because it’s been long enough, it’s time to for you to grow

Self care at times, may make you feel selfish

But who’s to judge? They’re probably just jealous

Especially when you begin to build your cocoon

They’re watching, waiting for you to bloom or your impending doom

But there’s no room for anyone else’s experience

It’s that serious

Self care is washing my hair

And washing my hands of the people that don’t give a damn

Self care means you’re self aware

And not everyone has the courage to care

[teebrewz]

Ego drips in like an old facet

It’s subtle but at what cost?

Drip drip away

But every morning the sun rises anyway

Dries all the pain away

Again and again

Then comes the quiet

My thoughts become violent

Maybe I’m just a nihilist

Hypnotized by society

Indoctrinated by anxiety

What’s worse?

Being able to pretend you know what happiness is?

Or having felt it in when the blade met your skin?

The thought of ending it all sounds so peaceful

But what if your thoughts are deceitful?

What if you bleed slow

And never get to destroy the ego?

What if you never get to know

The true meaning of letting go?

What if happiness is on the other side?

Of being free…

Do you have time to wait and see?

[teebrewz]

Tomorrow I will come home and write a poem

I, in fact did not write that poem

Too many distractions when I get home

All the black mirrors inspire my mind to roam

Last night, I said no!

I have to get back in my zone

Life is too short to not put down my phone

So, proud of how much I’ve grown

I wish I spent more time honing in on my throne

Nurturing more love and passion

In the end there’s no satisfaction in distraction

[teebrewz]

Precise pain

Ignites rage

In my veins

I keep screaming

I’m not sane

Who is these days?

There’s no way to avoid this flesh cage

Wake up in my very own prison

I built these bars

Can’t see the vision

Who’s even listening ?

Every doctor say I’m fine

What am I missing?

Self diagnosed

Who can oppose?

Only God knows

I’m built different

Like 2 chains

What is wrong with my brain

Insane in the membrane

Idk who I am without these chains

One day I will be able to express myself properly

Until then get the fuck away from me

[teebrewz]

We forget our childhood

When we lose our way

Minutes become hours

Hours become days

When we stop going outside to play

We get consumed by our day to day

We redefine “fun” and try to silence the pain

But we never lose our desire to laugh and play

It’s always too late when we realize those were the days

But what is forgotten can be found again in many ways

In smells, tastes, people and places

Chasing feelings we didn’t even know held weight

We try to grow up too fast

When really all we hope for is to make those happy moments last

Those memories aren’t lost

They’re just left in the past

What happens after the laughter is over and we lose our spirit?

Our favorite song is over and we no longer hear it

The faces of old lovers and friends disappear

Twas a fun ride even if we’re no longer here

This goes out to those who feel forgotten

Chin up kid, there’s a lot to unravel but I got you

[teebrewz]

Gasoline and grass bring me back to the nights we laughed

Lavender and Eucalyptus calm me like your kisses

Coconut mahogany remind me quality over quantity

But nothing compares when it comes to my nose

and it shows

Not flowers, or roses or anything above.

No one can tell me you’re not the one I love ❤️

[teebrewz]

Worn

We’re not everyone’s favorite pair of worn in shoes

but that doesn’t mean every new pair is ready to be used and abused

We get worn into this life one way or another…

It’s our decision if we grow from it or we never recover

Every step

Every moment is another piece we must experience to discover

Being worn in doesn’t mean you have to be torn forever

Knowingly, we wear our heart on our sleeves for the pleasure

For being loved and worn in, is the real treasure

Than not being worn

Ever…

[teebrewz]

Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

I cook that big guy and make some garlic butter.

[teebrewz]

This is my metamorphosis

My angels are telling me I was born for this

I was pure before all this shit

Broke into pieces so I could morph into bliss

A beautiful mosaic of everything I thought I was missing

But it was buried beneath all of the hatred

All of this pain

Now I’m shattering the doubt and stomping out it’s flame

[teebrewz]

Sometimes I wish I died when I was a kid

So I could be forever young without judgement

Be a youthful ghost who can have fun again

Looking like Casper on the verge of disaster

But that little girl is still alive

I couldn’t kill her if I tried.

Are we surprised when the trauma resurfaces?

Like the biggest bubble bursted?

Take cover because this bubble is made of acid and worse

[teebrewz]

Stuck between open waters and the beach

I stare at the waves and submit to the sea

I wait

I wait for someone to save me.

SOS to the ones that made me

Their silence is like salt in my wounds

I hope rescue comes real soon.

[teebrewz]

I pretend

I pretend so much

I bend at the seams

I pretend

I pretend love isn’t what I need

Are my misfortunes overlooked?

What are my dreams?

Everyone is living while I don’t know what it means

I drift

I drift from scene to scene

Routine to routine

Who am I?

What does this mean?

[teebrewz]

I usually hide in the darkness because it’s more forgiving. When the sun comes out I hate the feeling of being seen. I want to scream please keep your eyes off of me.

[teebrewz]

Give for me.

How much forgiveness does one have

Does it refill everyday?

I use mine up in every way.

I can’t help but feel weak every time I give in

And forgive again…

And again

What happens when I use it all up

Forgiveness can’t be undone

For what I give is never fulfilling

Never vengeful

It’s always unwilling…

Will I forgive myself before killing

The forgiveness inside me that is forever instilling.

[teebrewz]

stale.

Now I know why feelings become stale

Wandering around this planet as if we are so frail

Bite my tongue to only realize I’m creating my own hell

I stop and ponder if this feeling lasts forever…

Does anything?

Smiles fade and snow melts

We disappear into each other’s mouths

Nothings better than this pleasure

We devour all those doubts

We’re not stale.

This record is just played out…

[teebrewz]

You ever watch a smile melt away

It’s like when a rainbow fades to grey

[teebrewz]

He planted a seed of darkness inside of me at age 10

I find myself looking for the light when the clouds go in

And then when the light from the moon shines

Hoping to unroot that ugly seed but it grows deep in the darkest parts of me

Blooming like a cactus tearing up my organs

I wish I could go back and tell her it gets better when we don’t water it

The prickly cactus poking us every time it gets dark again

Wishing I learned to love me first from the start