Tejano Nonsense

Daniel. HTX. Latino. Bi. Teacher.

[daniellevys-moved]

via am2dm

[cadaverkeys]

boys will be boys.

[reversetimelord]

THIS is what boys will be boys should mean

[homokommari]

all cats are carriers of sleepy bitch disease. if you ever lay down on a sofa or bed near a cat you are guaranteed to contract sleepy bitch disease. 

[lambily-deactivated20200702]

Camp

[bifacts]

Fact: Bisexuals don’t need to pick a side, however, when they reach the age of 12, they must pick a sword. It’s an ancient ritual.

[mydeadcarcass]

You fool… The sword choses the Bisexual.

[bifacts]

A few people have asked what happens if you hadn’t realised you’re sexuality at that age. Some bisexuals will intuitively pick or forge a sword before even realising their sexuality, though if this wasn’t you, don’t worry - you can choose a sword any time within a 2 year period of identifying as bi. Should you, however, miss the 2 year cut off, you can talk to the Bisexual Battalion Council though that’s a last resort as it’s a really bureaucratic process and they only ever reply to emails biannually (either twice a year or once every two years but they refuse to clarify which).

[fuck-biphobia]

It’s obviously twice a year every two years

[bifacts]

This makes everything so much worse somehow

[sewersidesquad]

IM CRYING ZENDAYA IS SO EXTRA SHE EVEN LOST A SLIPPERJSKSKSJSKSK

[sewersidesquad]

SKSJSJSKS SHE LITERALLY CHANGED INTO A PINN DRESS AFTER MIDNIGHT TOO

[mxnrique]

THE DEDICATION!!!!!

[tricktster]

a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.

[unnameablethings]

op u live up to ur username

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking

what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp

like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have

like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious

now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 

and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 

and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker

and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 

so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?

this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 

[jumpingjacktrash]

i mean if you look at how npc’s talk about their pokemon, they’re service animals mostly. some of them are just pets. apparently they really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle other people’s pokemon for socialization, it’s like going to the dog park.

hell yes i’d be mad if i took my chronic pain support chow-chow to the dog park and some asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog enjoyed the tussle at first.

look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden. it’s not a special forces attack paras. it’s just a bug that eats dandelions. please calm down.

[maxknightley]

This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to the mountains

[residentgoodgirl]

[assgod]

Now this is just iconic advice

[gaypeopletwitter]

[garbage-empress]

cowboy advice

be rootin

be tootin

and by god be shootin

but most of all

be kind

[lamborb]

i… made a cross stitch inspired by this post….

it was a christmas present for a friend. he loved it. thanks op

[miiriya]

[calculatingsunflower-deactivate]

😂

[youtuboyz]

[i-mister-completely]

That vigorous nipple tweak elevates this to the highest possible level.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[foulserpent]

[micdotcom]

Watch:  Chicago woman had some great responses to a white man’s disturbing racist attacks.

[crimeshetyped]

I reblogged this 0.2 sec ago but I love her clapbacks so much

[dnaguzzlingteamcaptain]

Yeah should be doing this more.

[reenuka-deactivated20181217]

I just love how she says “He does not look to be of Native American descent,” lmao.

[motherbychoice]

Goddess

[mega-sploosh]