A Tale of Two Saxes

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Forgive me, Director, for I have sinned. I have played during Sightreading.

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There was band during the halftime show I'm freaking out

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So this past marching season, we had a dance break. The original version had us start on our hands and knees. Apparently the bari saxes liked to whisper "Assume the position" whenever we got ready to dance. I was blissfully unaware of this until they decided to YELL IT REALLY LOUD RIGHT AS OUR ASSISTANT BAND DIRECTOR WALKED BY She started laughing like a maniac, but I, forever the innocent, made them promise to never say it again. They lied to me, and needless to say, our directors changed the dance a few days later.

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Concert Band Problem #2

Director: This concert season, we're going to split into first and second bands!

Entire Band: what the fLUCK

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Friend: Do you start sixth graders on saxophone?

Band Director: No, I only start them on flute, clarinet, trumpet, trombone, and percussion.

Friend: Why?

Band Director: Sax is too temperamental. They have to start on something they can actually play.

Me: Excuse you.

Me: I started on sax.

Me: We're on our way to state band auditions.

Me: So shut up and start sixth graders on sax.

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Freshman: *misses D sharp*

Me: *whispers* They're D sharps.

Clarinets and Trumpets: *miss D sharp*

Me: THEY'RE D SHAAAAARPS

Director: Thank you.

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Concert Band Problem #1

Whenever my director gets snippy I have the urge to go hide in my locker and not come out until he promises that it wasn't my fault

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Director: How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?

Band: How many?

Director: 5, one to change the bulb and 4 more to say they could have done it better!

Me: OHHHHHHHHH

Director: What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?

Me: Oh god...

Director: You can tune a lawnmower!

Me: OH HECK NO TECHNO THAT IS NOT ALLOWED I AM ALWAYS IN TUNE SHUT YOUR MOUTH

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Marching Band Problem #1

I feel like an idiot when I'm the only one doing convincing body work

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Freshman: *misses G sharp*

Me: Mark your G sharps.

Freshman: *circles key signature*

Me: I said mark your G sharps.

Frshman: *circles G sharps*

Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHH

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Pit Band Problem #1

And now we have to participate in choir fundraisers. Yay.

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Literally 0% of our trumpets can play Taps as a round because literally 0% of our trumpets can count.

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My director gave the percussion a death glare today and I leaned out of the way to avoid the overwhelming disapproval he was projecting.

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Pit Orchestra Problem #1

Could the piano accompaniment please watch the director kthnxbai

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Playing a Piece in Free Time

Director: *cues*

Stand Partner: Was that our cue?

Me: No, I think that was for the trumpets.

Stand Partner: Does he ever cue us?

Me: No, he always forgets about us.

Stand Partner: So, when do we come in?

Me: Umm...

Me: *looks at trumpet music*

Me: ...with the trumpets.

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Welcome to A Tale of Two Saxes!

I'm B, your lovely blog runner. I play the tenor sax, but I am occasionally asked to play the alto sax for certain situations. I'm a member of the Nevada Crimson Sound band.

This is a blog about all the shenanigans that go on in the Crimson Sound -- most of which are my director’s fault. You'll find stories, rants, problems, and the like. Band is my life, so I know I'll have plenty of content. The only question is whether or not I'll have enough time outside of band to post it!

That’s about it! I hope you enjoy your stay.