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— (via bliztedminds)
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@tequilawhitelightning
“Damaged people fuck, laugh and drink harder.”
— (via bliztedminds)
Underrated form of intimacy: being silly together
This picture was from Friday. You were asking for help even though you knew it might get you in trouble, you said you wanted them to understand how serious you were. I keep hearing myself say “Where are you?” Because you cant just be gone. My last words to you were “I love you, I’ll talk to you in a bit” you said “love you kels” and hung up the phone. It is more than fitting that that was the last conversation we had. You’re probably cackling about that now. True Jacob fashion. But I’m so angry at you. That can’t just be it. I’ve talked to you every single day since you got out. Ever since you told me I will always be one of your top people, and to put on my big girl panties and keep on being besties. But it went so much further from there. You’ve always been my hype man. You’ve always found me from whatever corner of the world we’re in, no matter how far away, you always come around and when I need you. You’re always a phone call away. I didn’t even get a fucking phone call. I kept checking my phone. I messaged you on every platform available and kept calling. I almost sent “let me know you’re alive” but couldn’t bring myself to use that word, just in case. So I sent “let me know you’re okay.” That’s the last thing in my inbox to you and it’s gonna stay there unread haunting me forever. The word “remembering” has never been so infuriating before. “Remembering” like you’re some far away memory, and not the last person to tell me you loved me, or to really see me for who I am. You were constantly breathing life into me, and all I want to do is breathe that life back into you and bring you back. You ALWAYS come back. For the past 60 so days, you have been my first thought when I wake up and the last person I speak to before falling asleep. I’ve talked to you on every lunch break. You made me feel beautiful every single day, and no one has made me feel anywhere close to that in years. I forgot who I was, until you made it your mission to remind me at all hours of every day. You were gonna cook me dinner next month. You were supposed to embarrass me and make up for lost time. We were gonna play chess. We were gonna have a dozen more moments. Now I just keep thinking back to each time I saw you and what I should’ve done differently. I need to look into your eyes one more time and hear your voice saying all the things I know you’re saying now. I needed to hug you before you were gone and now I’m just never going to have that again? You said that door was closed and you promised you’d ask for help if you couldn’t keep it shut. You did ask. Why didn’t you ask me? Why didn’t you call me? Did you think about me? I had JUST talked to you. I can’t stop waiting for you to call. You meant everything to me. I love you so deeply Jacob. I need you to come back. I need to see you.
I am obsessed with being beautiful while trying to be okay being ugly while feeling utterly confident that I’m super beautiful and also super ugly… My brain… the oscillation
Literally just romanticize your own life. What’s stopping you. Who will care. Commit to enjoying things.
once a boy let me borrow his jacket and after i gave it back i heard him gushing to his friends bc it smelled like me
nice to know boys do that too
ANNE CARSON
‘The Glass Essay’ from Glass, Irony, and God (1994);
personal photos, original edit
plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over
I know we’re all used to the whole Scabbers is Pettigrew thing but can you imagine getting kidnapped by some dude and then your very professional teacher appears and points a gun at your dog and goes “Mr. Sprinkles is a war criminal”
i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug
date someone whose voice can make you calm… or wet… or both