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911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch

Chim: What are you watching there, Buck?

Buck: Oh, a video about how to become a fossil.

Video on his phone: Here's a step-by-step guide to becoming a fossil. Step 1: die.

Buck: This is so easy. We are done with step 1 already.

hazeriley

911 IS BACK TONIGHT!

Enjoy some AI pictures made of Eddie to celebrate 👨‍🚒🚒🦎

tesslikecookies

But not AUSTRALIA!

So what I’m reading is that my bachelor degree in the arts industry doesn’t count as training. That all of the dancers and musicians who have been practicing and working hard since they were 4-5 some of which then go on to study their arts interest at a university level haven’t put any effort into their craft. No it’s just the sports persons who have had any sort of training in the arts industry. The arts industry is a multi-billion dollar sector but what I’m seeing is that our government doesn’t understand and or care just how important the arts industry actually is. That once it is safe enough for quarantine to be fully lifted, this small industry won’t be turned to for people looking for something interesting to see or do now that they are able to continue life as normal. TV shows, movies, prerecorded performances made up a large part of what people have used to entertain themselves during this pandemic. But no these, although they are part of the arts sector, don’t have a large impact on people’s lives because they are from a small industry.

#auspol #australia #theatre #music #film and television

ladyrijus

Reblog if Chan is a hero

I’m trying to prove a point

did-ya-miss-anti

Hey, you. Yeah, you. Reading this right now. Stop what you’re doing for a few minutes and read this, okay? It’s important. It’ll only take a few minutes, I promise.

Let me start off by telling you how incredibly brave you are. I’m serious. You’re living in an uncertain world, and you still woke up today. It doesn’t matter if you got out of bed. If you got dressed. You’re awake. You’re here, with us. With the community online that loves you. You’re here. You could have hidden yourself away today. But you didn’t. You were brave and came to be with your friends today.

You know what else, though? You’re a wonderful person. No, don’t argue. Just listen for now. It’s okay. You don’t have to believe it for it to be true. You have been through so much. It has made you stronger. You are so strong. That doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time, though. You’re allowed to be weak. You’re allowed to need to lean on someone. It’s okay. Nobody is going to judge you for that. If they do, they must have forgotten that they’ve had to lean before, too.

You are not a mistake. You’re not worthless. You bring joy to peoples’ lives. You might not even know the people that you bring joy to, but they’re there. They exist. Just like others bring joy to your life. That’s an important thing to be a part of. We need more joy in the world. I’m so glad that you’re here to help with that. I’m so proud of you for being here.

You are wanted. You are needed. If something were to happen to you, there are people that would miss you. People who would ask what happened to you. There are people that care about your wellbeing. We love you. It’s okay to come to us when everything feels hopeless. You’re not worthless. I promise.

I’m so, so proud of you and so happy that you’re here, reading this right now. I’m so happy that you’re still with us. Please don’t go where your friends can’t follow. Nobody in the world can replace you.

You can keep scrolling now. Just remember that there’s someone out there that cares about you, okay? Have a good rest of your day.

archivebcembarasslol

Festive Phandom Follow Train!

spread some festive cheer by reblogging this post and following other people who do!

sweeneyandhamiltontrash

A collection of quotes from roadies

“This is getting more action than a hooker on Friday night” “Fucking British people” “Fuck this shit I’m out. Imma get the fuck up out of here and go smoke a bowl because this is Colorado” “It’s crazy to me that you and that guy are the same age and started not that long apart but you know more than fucking most of the people we work with and he’s as helpful as a cable ramp with no cover” “You’re a woman which means can probably multi task, so you can coil two cables at once right?” “Stop yanking on the cable, it’s like a pussy, you gotta be gentle and coax it” “Just fucking curse at it and call it a little shit head and it’ll work” “Put ya back in it mateys. Ya ain’t gonna live in a pineapple under the sea unless you fucking work for it” “It’s his first show call? Say no more well give him all the heavy shit.” “Oh my you’re stronger than I thought. Guess I shouldn’t underestimate a stage hand” “Sorry guys it’s gonna be a slow day. We partied way to hard with the alcohol and weed and forgot about the elevation difference”

sweeneyandhamiltontrash

Update of quotes:

“There’s no party like a feeder party” “I honestly don’t give a shit just throw it in the box because this is the last show and the warehouse is just gonna redo it all anyways” “Oh my god you know over under! I’m serious it’s actually really cool I could not tell you the amount of idiots who can’t grasp the concept.” “Don’t mind the bras on the set to be honest I’m not sure why they’re there either” “Hey nOW YOURE A STAGE HAND GET YOUR GAME ON GO PUSH”

“So we just used almost $200 worth of gaff, $500 worth of confetti, and half an hour for this prank, it’s so fucking worth it though, this workbox is a work of art now. ” “You leave your cables out, I tape them the fuck up like a little present from hell and Satan himself” “I wish I could have a nap game like you, you passed the fuck out and they were fucking with you for like 5 minutes before you woke up.”

tanknaka

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

the-grace-of-fallen-angels

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

lavendertears

I actually really needed this tonight, thank you

techtheatre

Hello Theatre Friends!

I am trying to reach out to the furthest corners of our little Techblr community and want to get to know you all! Please reblog this post if you are studying, working in, or even are interested in Technical Theatre! I haven’t seen one of these posts for a while so I want to make sure that I am following any of you who share my love for the theatre. Spread this post around, friends! Let’s find each other! :)

stardustschild

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.

tbbackus

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

crutchie-morris

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

musicofthestage

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

agatharights

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

soulpunchftw

This is wild from start to finish

totalspiffage

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

punkbatsarchive

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

redheadeddisneyfreak

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

sammywhatammy

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

cinder-ember

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

fat-hippie

I was in Twelfth Night during high school and we were lucky enough to have identical twin girls playing Viola and Sebastian. Due to the blocking in the first half of the play, their characters didn’t appear on stage together but rather almost consecutively one after the other for a majority of the first act.

It was awesome because when people saw the play and didn’t know the girls were identical twins, it literally looked like it was one actor doing multiple, uber fast costume changes.

One of our first performances was for our peers and it was a big school so lots of people didn’t know the twins. This - for some reason - was also the performance they chose to record.

Listening to the confusion of the audience during the playback was fantastic and completely topped by the moment Viola walked off stage left just as Sebastian walked on stage right and someone right beside the camera goes “OH WHAT THE FUCK” so loudly it drowned out everything else.

The best thing? That was the copy of the play that was made available for purchase by family and parents. Haha.

whereismyvillage

Oh my god. I went to one of the Spiderman shows where he flew out above the audience and then got stuck and had to awkwardly hang there for about 10 minutes, but these stories are brilliant.

andthereisnotragedyinthat

okay so, my senior year of high school and I’m part of the stage crew for Peter Pan. There’s a scene where Hook and Smee are searching for Peter and the Lost Boys. Now the theater department at my high school isn’t very well funded (in the southern USA, football is king), so the sets we managed to make were pretty kickass for the money we had. We had a structure painted like a big tree stump for the entrance to the Lost Boys’ hideout. You could climb to the top of it, but also go inside it through a trap door that we kept locked up during most of the play.

It’s like our third show and everything has been going surprisingly well. Hook and Smee climb to the top of the “tree trunk”, supposedly looking for Peter and not knowing they’re standing above his hiding spot the whole time.

Turns out someone didn’t close the trapdoor properly, because the second Hook steps on it, he plunges through the thing. He’s able to catch himself, but he’s got his ass and one leg dangling through this hole where it’s like a ten foot drop to the ground. All of us stage crew are literally two feet away from him offstage, just gaping at him because???? Y'all this fall looked BAD. Looked like my dude did the splits in mid air. The whiplash caused his fucking wig to come off. The audience is dead silent, all of us backstage are dead silent, the director is like already looking up how to treat a broken groin.

The kid who was playing Hook was like a fuckin sophomore and he KILLED it. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, never broke character, just looked up at his castmate and growled “Smee, you fool, help me up!”. He ended up playing off the wig thing as an embarrassing comedic bit for Hook, and the play went on. He was completely fine. It was the best thing I’d ever seen.

squidspawn

There was an infamous performance of the opera Don Giovanni where in the last act Giovanni was suppose to be dragged into hell via trapdoor but the overweight actor got stuck, leading someone from the audience to shout: “Hey everyone, Hell’s full!!”

sarahviehmann

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but the Lefou story has me in tears every time.

dwlostcompanion

As someone who did Tech stuff in High school for 4 years, Lefou!

five-very-happy-years

I was a costumer on a stage version of Titanic, and in the scene where the women and children are getting in the lifeboats, one of the men (who was supposed to be saying goodbye to his wife he knows he will never see again because his is about to die), realized his fake mustache was falling off and instead of playing it cool… he rips it off his face, and hands it to his wife with the line “Something to remember me by”…it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my 8 years in theatre, the entire cast lost their shit laughing at the most dramatic moment possible

backstageleft-deactivated202009

Not sure if I’ve shared it on this post before but one of the funniest moments I ever witnessed was at a final dress/preview of 9 to 5. During a scene where one of the women is supposed to pull a gun out of her purse she suddenly realizes it’s not there. So she immediantly makes a finger gun and menaces the actor playing the boss with it. The problem is she’s suppose to pass it to the next actress and then that actress passes it to the next actress. They ended up basically doing a weird high five every time they transitioned it to the next person. The woman who was playing “Dolly’s character” had to walk off to a corner to hide her face because the final actress with the finger gun was taking it so damn seriously and then slammed her hand down on the desk to “put it down”, which scared the ever living shit out of the actor playing the boss so much he finally broke.

Afterwards a costumer came up to me and my boss (I work in props) and complimented us on the “very realistic hand gun”.

#Qutcreate come alone to the 2nd year technical production student’s performances. We have been tasked to create a 10 min piece without actors. Should be an interesting week. Completely free so come along.

#qutcreate

tanknaka

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

the-grace-of-fallen-angels

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

lavendertears

I actually really needed this tonight, thank you

fandom

Web Stuff

Week Ending February 5th, 2018

Critical Role

Jacksepticeye +1

RWBY −1

Markiplier

Homestuck

AmazingPhil +1

Thomas Sanders +9

The Adventure Zone −2

Daniel Howell

BuzzFeed Unsolved −2

Achievement Hunter

Camp Camp

The Dolan Twins

Eddsworld +1

My Brother, My Brother and Me −1

Rhett and Link

Carmilla +2

Cow Chop

Jessica Nigri

CrankGameplays −2

The number in italics indicates how many spots a name or title moved up or down from the previous week. The ones in bold weren’t on the list last week.

tesslikecookies

@thatsthat24

theheartoftheocean

poe dameron. reblog if u agree

nateswinehart

You gotta have a plan…

tesslikecookies

@thatsthat24

clowncrownallenwalker

Re-blog if you would accept somebody you knew who came out as asexual

I’m honestly really curious to see how many people actually accept it. Because there are allot of people who don’t believe it’s real. Or at the least don’t accept it when somebody they know come out as asexual.