When Temu Langdon asked Mel what she liked to do her answer wasn’t she used to like soccer, art, ballet, whatever until her mom died and now she takes care of her sister. Mel struggled to think of her own pleasure at all!
I’d guess Mel was PARENTIFIED her whole life w/her parents & other adults using Mel’s intelligence & kindness as excuses to ask her to suppress her desires/needs to help the adults meet Becca’s needs. There was no way w/how Mel acts there was ever fighting over toys, no demanding attn, no pouting she didn’t get to do what she wanted…most likely Mel as a CHILD herself cared for Becca. Mel likely listened to her parents talk about THEIR feelings & worries making sure Becca was well/safe/happy which made Mel internalize responsibility for this bc she loved her parents & sister & would want to help them. Do I think Mel’s parents gave Mel separate time so Mel knew her feelings & needs were equally important? Nope. I think being “helpful,” & “mature” got praised as “being good” which trained Mel to think caretaking her sister was HER job instead of just being a kid who should get to depend on her parents taking care of her. This lack of childhood is extremely traumatic & affects parentified kids thru adulthood.
If Mel is parentified she is not going to be jealous her sister has a bf. Mel wouldn’t have that sibling rivalry like a normal kid. She’d more likely worry she hasn’t done a good job taking care of Becca bc parentified kids think that’s THEIR family duty.