tumblr text posts

oh you already know

[therealhamster]

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars

[emjaydoubleyou]

Get To UnKnow The Blogger!

anonymously forget something about me

[wariofan63]

Therapist: Donkey Kong will not briskly walk diagonally into your house. That’s just not a realistic thought.

Donkey Kong:

[joshpeck]

i’m sick and have an art history final project due in less than 24 hours what did i do to deserve this

[undercover-overachiever]

You ran over Oprah.

[joshpeck]

what did i do besides that to deserve this

[talkwise]

my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey instead

[clairvoy-nt]

if you play guitar there is a 372% chance i am sexually attracted to you

[zackisontumblr]

[insomniac-arrest]

a bop, a banger, and a jam are all different

but you have to feel the difference in your heart

[ororosmunroe]

a bop is something light or something you casually enjoy. you don’t mind it/it’s cute in the moment. 

a banger is something goes hard (some times unnecessarily) can invoke deep emotions. can fizzle out after some time has passed. 

a jam is something that can be considered as nostalgic. it is a song that is a personal anthem, no matter what you are going through you just respond to it. it is immortal. 

[walkingdorito]

[i-am-a-fish]

I just got sentenced to life in prison for being a big fool

[i-am-a-fish]

I’m guilty of course, just thought you all should know

[foreverimthatgirl-deactivated20]

me: *literally about to burst into tears for no fuckass reason*

me to me:

[diarygirls]

me vaccinating my future children

[chthonicillness]

how to dress so girls and crows will notice me but security cameras won’t

[thyrell]

plague doctor

[rustycorn]

shwoer thoughts

wash ass

[jasper-rolls]

bone healing juice

[iwashinaga]

milk

[jasper-rolls]

blocked

[condom-deactivated20190119]

i guess ur not the blog i thought u were </3

[3lixar]

when youre feeling affectionate but still gotta be metal

[one-time-i-dreamt]

A man (?) was saying, as I held him at knifepoint, “I can only legally express seventeen emotions, and I’m feeling all of them in this Chili’s tonight.”

[thisismynewpassword]

We were expecting a dream and we got a piece of literature

[biphoenix]

on the outside I am human on the inside I am pasta and sin