TEXT: DARREN
Holly: happy fucking birthday bitchtits
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@tfwholly-blog
TEXT: DARREN
Holly: happy fucking birthday bitchtits
Damn fucking straight.
TEXT: RONNIE
Holly: happy birthday bitch
.gtgkatie:
While the girl in front of her looked a little baffled at her offer of a towel, Katie simply smiled to herself, stifling a giggle and not wanting to offend her. She supposed it was probably a bit odd, but she was only trying to help, and she’d like to think that if she were in a similar situation someone else might offer the same courtesy.
When she accepted her offer, profanities slipping from her tongue with ease, she broke her resolve almost instantly and let out a genuine laugh, her smile wide and sincere. The girl’s response had been blunt, and she tried (and failed) to imagine such a response coming from someone like Simon, Brooke, or James, all of whom she had no doubt would have had a much softer reaction to her offer (though, admittedly, she wouldn’t have to ask James, who would no doubt be listing off numerous scenarios in which his sopping state could lead to his untimely death). Content to spend her time around just about anyone, it was oddly refreshing to hear someone so shamelessly blurt out the word ‘fuck’ when working around people as soft as Mickey, or Jay. Especially given her usual company involved the likes of Seth, Kevin, and Jess who had an affinity for making utter nuisances of themselves.
“Not a problem,” she responded, still wearing the same warm smile from moments before. She must be freezing, bless her.
When the girl passed a comment about staying put, Katie frowned to herself, not sure whether or not she should just leave her there. It seemed a little harsh leaving the poor, rain-soaked girl to just loiter in the middle of the aisle, puddles forming around her in the middle of the store. She was contemplating asking the girl to follow her through to the back room when she watched, and heard, the scene unfold before her.
Eyes widening, Katie’s hand flew up to her mouth as a loud, raucous laugh escaped her lips. It was entirely unflattering, and she tried her hardest to stifle the noise as she lapsed into a severe case of the giggles at the girl’s bizarre outburst. She had not been expecting that. Far too focused on her own amusement, it took her a short moment to realise that they had managed to capture the attention of some other shoppers, eyes trained on them as Katie stood opposite the loud, theatrical girl who looked as though she’d just spent the past hour in the harbour.
Blushing at suddenly being centre of the attention (though, she was more than happy to share the title with her new customer), she decided now would be the time to get back on track with her original plan. The towel plan.
“Do you want to follow me through to the back?” she asked, her voice low as she tried to ignore the strange looks being sent their way. People were cruel, that she knew, but she had nothing to worry about here. This was her safe space, and the girl was perfectly innocent and lovely.
“To get the towel, I mean. It might be nicer if you had a little privacy, rather than an audience while you try to dry off and have words with Poseideon,” she explained, cringing at her word choice. Had she spent too much time listening to Simon in all of his Percy Jackson excitement, or was she just a blundering idiot? Probably the latter.
Pointing a thumb over her shoulder, she nodded over towards James who had managed to slip in and settle himself on the stool she’d been sitting on moments before. Well, if he was here keeping an eye on things it wouldn’t be too terrible for her to disappear for a few minutes to help the girl.
“It’s just through here, it’ll be much more dignified, I promise,” she smiled, before turning on her heels and leading the way. “Admittedly, I could just send you through on your own and make you promise that you’re not, you know, a well-read robber of sorts, but I’m fairly certain that thieves of any kind don’t tend to admit as such.”
She wasn’t quite sure what the nonsense coming out of her mouth was, nor why she was rambling on to the poor girl who, no doubt, just wanted to dry off and disappear again, and she could practically see the smirk on Kevin’s face, the smug bastard inhabiting the back of her mind, no doubt teasing her in one way or another.
“I don’t think I’d get to keep my job if I came back to you having pilfered the staff room,” she joked, glancing over her shoulder so as to make sure she hadn’t entirely offended the customer with all the rubbish she was spewing.
Holly’s head shot up when Katie began laughing, uncontained giggles bursting forth from the other girl, and she took a feeble step back. While she liked to think of herself as downright fucking hilarious, even on a bad day, she wasn’t sure that her fleeting act of stupidity had merited a reaction like that. Something told her to be pleased, but after everything she’d been through in the past five minutes, she chose to be alarmed instead and continued to stare at Katie like she’d grown another head, or used ‘Alex Cayley’ and ‘heterosexual’ in the same sentence.
When Katie insisted that Holly follow her through the back room to dry off, who was she to argue? Not her usual loud-mouth self, certainly. Instead of arguing that she’d rather stand where she was, soaked to the skin and loudly disrupting the ambience of the bookstore, Holly simply gave a stiff nod and follow Katie’s lead meekly.
“Poseidon?” Holly echoed, tucking her chin in to let confusion show plain on her face. “Who the fuck?”
Even though Holly had begrudgingly reached the conclusion that this Katie girl was too pretty for her own good in a way that reduced Holly to a gibbering idiot, the brunette wondered if the bookstore employee was a few sandwiches short of a picnic as she babbled on and on while leading Holly towards the back room.
“Uh…” Holly sounded, because there was really nothing else for her to say, and she wondered how much agility and stealth would be required to sneak away before Katie turned back around. However, with each step she took, her new Nikes, drowned by rainwater, let out a noisy squelch and she bit back a frustrated sigh. She wasn’t going anywhere.
“What if I did admit I was a well-read robber?” Holly challenged, folding her arms across her chest even though her heart wasn’t really in it and she was only indulging in this conversation full of gobbledegook because it stopped her thinking about how shiny Katie’s hair was. God, she wanted to pummel herself with a baseball bat.
As she entered the staff room, she wrinkled her nose and glanced at her surroundings.
“Yeah, why would I want to pilfer any of the shit from here?” she asked, picking up a tattered paperback copy of something or other by someone or other who apparently went by the name of Rick Riordan. It was only when she saw that the book had previously been resting on a lunchbox labelled ‘property of Simon Hudson’, that she allowed genuine surprise to show on her face.
“Wait, shit, yo, Simon works here?” she asked swivelling around towards Katie. Oh. That’s right. Katie. Realisation hit her quickly and she screwed up her face at once.
“Aw, fuck off,” she cursed. “Does that mean you’re Seth’s Katie?”
.gtgkatie:
I meant on the internet, moreso. You just never know who might be reading, but you’re right. Conversations with one Holly Becker are not meant for the faint hearted. Speaking of which, we’re getting feisty now. I’m enjoying this, actually. I think we might have to get a one-on-one match between you and Seth, at some stage. Really show him up. We’ll hire a photogapher and everything, for cinematic effect.
If it’s a conversation with me then they should know that cunt, bastard, shithead, dickmunch or assballs will come up at some point, so it’s their fault if they’re too fucking stupid to see it coming. I’ll totally take on Seth but I don’t want him to shit hit pants.
... Actually, what am I talking about? I totally fucking do.
.gtgkatie:
Arse it is. I was keeping it PG, but right. Arse it is. I will absolutely pass the message on to Caleb, though. I’m sure he’s probably reading this, but a little reminder for extra measure won’t hurt. He’s always getting himself into bloody scraps anyway, so I think he’ll recover. What’s all that nonsense boys try to spout about girls not being good at sports? Or is it just that they know we’re better? Or rather, you. I can’t play footy to save my life.
PG? Around me? Really? They just know I’m better. And Seth and Caleb are smarmy assholes that can’t fucking admit it so sometimes I need to remind the dicks.
.gtgkatie:
Yeah, sorry. All those British colloquialisms come with the whole being British thing. Bit of a pain in the bum, really. Seth is a pissbaby. Glad we can agree on that. You know, he says Caleb’s still got the hump about that tackle from a few weeks ago. Really milking it, reckons you owe him compensation for his troubles.
Look, I’d even take arse over... bum. I felt like a five-year-old about to piss my pants even typing that, Jesus fucking Christ. Maybe if Caleb stopped being a little bitch baby and diving when she shouldn’t, I wouldn’t have had to stop him. But he did, so I did, and he needs to suck it the fuck up.
.gtgkatie:
I know. That’s between me, you, and the internet, though. Seth doesn’t need to know that I actually like spending time with him. He just needs to know that I’ll be lobbing choccies at him and landing him on his arse next time I see him.
‘Choccies’. That’s so fucking British I just grew a red phonebox. But whatever, Seth’s a pissbaby.
.gtgkatie:
Yes, well, I don’t quite want to kill Seth. Or even severely injure him. Much as it pains me to say it, I actually quite like having the idiot around.
... Ew.
.gtgkatie:
Done! And I’ll come to your next match with a slingshot, pelt maltesers at him or something!
There’s plenty of big ass stones around where we play. Some rocks too.
.gtgkatie:
Oh, well I do that often enough. I could always give Seth a bit of a shove, if that could get a smile out of you?
Holy fuck nuggets, that would be like Hanukkah and all my birthdays at the same time. Do it.
.gtgkatie:
Oh, so the joke wasn’t so great? Fair enough. Coldplay are great, though. People just don’t know how good they’ve got it. A world without Coldplay? The horror! But alright, what’s a girl got to do to make you laugh, hm?
I dunno, I guess I like it when people fall over and hurt themselves.
.gtgkatie:
Good for me? Are you telling me my jokes haven’t been amazing all along?
I meant ‘good for you’ as in good for you for flipping off the Coldplay haters and liking their sweet as fuck music anyway. But while we’re here, I don’t laugh at a lot of jokes, so.
.gtgkatie:
Have you ever noticed that whenever you tell someone that you’re a fan of coldplay, they sort of try to… fix you.
Sorry, sorry! Spending too much time around Billy, I think. If it makes you feel any better, though, I love Coldplay.
That was shit but also good for you.
World peace will only be achieved when I don’t need to defend my love for Coldplay to every basic bitch I meet.
who’s gonna tell daz that the hot cheerleader guy ain’t a cradle snatcher?
(via confessmessina)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA wait what
does whatever happened between alex and will have anything to do with why will is bruised to fuck? cayley got a temper?
(via confessmessina)
Bitch, you’re the one about to be bruised to fuck. Let’s hope I don’t find out who you are, or you’ll need to get used to a broken face and permanent limp dick. Cunt.