Thank God You Work Here

Some days, a fantastic coworker is the only reason to come in.

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[tldrwikipedia]

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Happy Mother's Day!

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Always. Hungry.

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You already know whose Facebook wall you're gonna post this on. #bffs4lyfe

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ZZ: we ordered a copy of "what to expect when you're expecting"

we were skimming it last night

there was this section about the weight you gain when pregnant and what it's comprised of

it's like, "7.5 pounds, baby. 3 pounds, placenta..."

fine, that makes sense...

then it's all "water retention- 5 pounds"

i'm like, ew, but okay

YY: whoahhh

ZZ: then it estimates something like 3 pounds PER BREAST with all the milk & stuff

YY: WHAT

I GOTS TO GET ME A PREGNANT!

ZZ: i'm like, there is NO WAY each of my boobs will gain more than a pound

the spouse is all "ohpleaseohplease"

YY: hahah

ZZ: they already feel like they're ready to pop and most of my bras still fit, surely they can't get 3x larger

then the rest of the chart lists various things using science-y words but it essentially boils down to pure lard

and it's all "this is why you should gain 30 pounds when pregnant!"

YY: hot damn

ZZ: the spouse and i are all "helllllll no"

their 13 pounds of lard serves no purpose whatsoever

our friend gained 12 pounds when pregnant

their kid is totally fine and she looked normal again like a week later

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ZZ: OH so how was **'s baby?

YY: he was gross

he was covered in baby acne

ZZ: sad face

yeah my friend's kid went through that stage when he was like a month old

YY: so disgusting

ZZ: babies just aren't cute until they're like 6 months

YY: looked like he had just come out

shudder

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ZZ: btw i just told ** and **

i was like "well as long as you're both here, it's not public info yet, but i have news..."

and they both say "NOOOOO"

and i'm like, what? i'm pregnant

and ** says "oh GREAT!! We thought you were going to say you were leaving!"

YY: hahahah, awwwwww

** is going to FREAK

ZZ: hahaha

YY: "can I hold it now?!"

"...it's still in my uterus..."

ZZ: "can i hold your uterus? hold still..."

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ZZ: speaking of diets, man, i'm having sooooo much avocado right now

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

YY: mmmmmmmmm

i have to go to so much meeting now

ZZ: boooooooo

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ZZ: you interested in getting any food?

the choices look slim but i'm hungry

YY: yeah...i'll go down

nothing left over from the event yesterday?

ZZ: sadly, no

well, two slices of pizza, but they're at my house

YY: that sure helps me...

ZZ: sorry g

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YY: seriously, why is ** so cute?

ZZ: he just is

i want to put him in my pocket

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YY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

ZZ: yesssss

that was one of my favorite office moments ever

back when the show was all kinds of awesome

YY: yeah, sad face

ZZ: sigh

i hate when things start to suck

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ZZ: why are ALL real estate agents terrifying?

i've never met one that I don't physically recoil at the picture on their business card

let alone in person