I make these posts on mobile, if it looks dumb elsewhere omg don't tell me. Please read to know what you'll see on this blog including TW!!
A little bit about me:
°âąââ My name is Tobie! I am 20, pronouns she/her or them/theirs. I'm not too picky.
°âąââ This blog is entirely whatever nonsense comes to mind. May be blurbs from the book I am drafting, may be Baldur's Gate 3, may be Deltarune, may be knitting... you get the idea
°âąââ I am a vintage/historical fashion buff and history buff in general! I like mundane history and enjoy following the lives of common women.
°âąââ I knit, sew, paint, draw, write, and I love anything to do with cloth, fabric, makeup, hair... I'm very "girly" in my interests.
°âąââ I love to bake and cook :) maybe I'll post meals sometimes
°âąââ I play the Sims 4, Baldurs Gate 3, and Stardew Valley when I do game. Sometimes I dabble in Helldivers, Ultrakill or Risk of Rain, if you ever want to chat! I have only watched my bf play Undertale/Deltarune because I like the story and I am kind of bad at it lol.
°âąââ TW. 3D AND 3ATING ISSUES
I have had a r3str!ct1ve 3at1ng d1s0rd3r since I was 14 years old and, naturally, have been in between relapsing and recovering the past 6 years. I may discuss this sometimes and it will not *always* contain a trigger warning. It's my life and I am going to be honest about it one way or the other.
°âąââ Some writing posts may contain NSFW stuff and I'll put a warning on that because I, too, hate to be surprised with smut lol. I like to know what I'm getting in to.
°âąââ I will not immediately block minors, as it is you and your parents' responsibility to control the media you engage with. However I will not respond to asks or messages from anybody under 17 unless it's innocuous like "How do you knit a garter stitch" lol Also under 14 IS getting blocked because I refuse to encourage children to remain on Tumblr. It did me no good at that age and I recommend you go elsewhere :T
°âąââ TERFs/homophobes/p3d0s/transphobes/racists/p0rn or f3t1sh blogs etc just don't bother I am swift with the report and block buttons <3
°âąââ 4n4/m14/3d/$h blogs you are SAFE here! I ask to not be shown (or asked for) any b0dych3x. No $h pictures either please. But if you need to vent or want to respond to a post where I discuss 3d related topics in my life that is 100% okay. You can reblog my other posts or respond as normal and I am not going to block you just for having a vent blog. I have been there and I luv ya!
°âąââ Finally, the tags on this post are some you will see throughout the blog. I like to think they are fairly self explanatory but feel free to ask if you are unsure!!
Coworker im friendly with hit me with a firm "that's my girl!" When we agreed on a certain opinion and I am NOT comfortable with how much I liked it. Gonna get uncomfortable here. How tf do y'all deal with getting past stupid crushes when in a long term relationship? I know its going to happen for both of us and that really the important factor is just to not flirt, not act on it, and spend more time with your partner.
But it makes me feel so guilty. I haven't done anything wrong, per se, but just having a feeling like that makes me feel like something is wrong with me :P
Been stuck in the b1ng3 r3st1ct cycle for so many years I have no idea what normal looks like. I either feel like I'm forcibly depriving myself and st4rv1ng or e4ting literally every fucking thing that crosses my mind that I can get my grubby little paws on. It's miserable. I wish I never developed a d1s0rd3r. I wish i was normal.
Yummy Cuban sandwich from yesterday's lunch that I cried after eating + americano w/ sugar free hazelnut and a splash of almond milk
Last night's dinner :P two soft boiled eggs, 2 tbsp ish of macadamia nuts, and whatever fell out of the tin of the Gerber baby cheetos. Was actually super yum. This morning had some green powder stuff in milk like a weird matcha latte... I don't like matcha but I don't mind it? It's supposed to have like all kinds of microgreens and fruits in it idk. Something my naturopathic mom gave me lmao. She also have me collagen supplements. They all have c4ls sooo I'm just gonna use them as meal replacements for breakfast. I'm getting all my nutrients and some protein from a serving of milk, right?? Lmao
Bf and I literally took off work the next two days so we could lock the fuck in and enjoy the next deltarune chapter. We're gonna get Mexican and then play >:) and both routes of course
I'm like a little in love with all of my friends like, privately. It's not something I'd ever mention to my bf because it's not a thing i would ever leave him for, being that i am wholesomely happy and in love with him. Y'know?
But like one of them is always ready to gossip and asks to see new stuffies and trinkets i get and encourages me to name them. Another quietly suggests new foods or recipes and always reminds me to take care of myself. He's very gentle with me. Another often comments how sweet I am and is very complimentary about my appearance. And of course I find all of their personalities charming, because they're my friends! Just little things I love in a partner that of course ebb and flow with long-term relationships. It's nice to have many outlets for love and joy and connection without it being inappropriate
Remember to love your friends guys. Their companionship is meant to fill many chinks and gaps in your social needs, and you for them! It's okay if your romantic partner does not hit every single mark every time. That's a lot to expect of a single person.
Anyway. Just in my feels enjoying my friends. That is all <3
Y'know it really breaks my heart to say this because it's a very expensive peice of makeup but unfortunately nothing is even coming CLOSE to the Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish setting powder. I have it in the 1Fair shade as a very pale olive and normally its hard to find a non-transluscent powder that isn't also way too dark, but this one doesn't even oxidize. Doesn't get cakey or patchy. Buildable.
It GENUINELY is like airbrushed. I know, I know, it's in the name, but marketing is a bitch. Anyway, I had bought a mini to try out (and cause its cute lol) and I'm obsessed with it. I might keep buying the mini because it takes me soooo long to finish and I have very sensitive skin, so having a larger product that expires while I'm still using it is not really a good choice to make lmfao. I DO think the foundation is too dark for me and tbh I'm still locked in with the Too Faced Born This Way concealer and a Lancome foundation i have (the matte Teint Idole? I think?)
Anyway. Yeah. Also if you've never tried a good classic Clinique eyeshadow or their pore perfector primer... biiiitch do it. Drop the money trust đđđ
Genuinely think i was so th1n when I worked at a coffee shop because my diet was like... a single egg+sausage bagel in the morning, no less than 3 almond milk+honey lattes and a 16oz green tea, and then like literally 6oz of steak and a side salad at dinner. I'd have some ice cream or whatever almost every day but me and the bf were doing the tango so much it like canceled out LMAO.
This desk job is k1ll1ng me. Anyway, favorite spĂŽ below
I am very tired these days. I have crawled back up to 157.8ĆÉs. I don't mean to let go every time but I don't want to go back to where I was. I'm very disappointed in myself, I had worked extremely hard to get my w31ght down and even did it in a careful, non-d1s0rdered way.
When I would gain back after doing insane crash d1etÈ or things I knew were wrong, I would get irrationally angry, but it was all from the disorder. It would go away as I began to recover.
But this feels entirely different. I've never felt so defeated and disappointed in myself. I spent way, way too much time strengthening my body and learning to enjoy excercise and finding truly healthy eating habits to just... give up and slip back into old habits for the sake of comfort. I know when you're juggling a lot with a chronic illness some ball has to drop, but jesus christ does it always have to be my body? Does it always have to be the one thing I can't just get over?
I have a week long lake trip coming up at the beginning of September to celebrate by 21st birthday. My family and partner will all be staying in a cabin with me. I'm super excited! But man. I had plans. Outfits to wear, visions of getting blitzed and having fun and knowing i would bounce back after. But I'm having a terrible flare up that's left me tired, in pain, covered in psoriasis patches and back up to my starting weight from January of 2025. It's exhausting and I'm heartbroken.
I'd even been patient. Didn't buy new clothes until I had maintained the lower w31ght for a month or two. Only for it to aaaall come crashing down and leave me right back where I started, in clothes that don't fit and skin that feels wrong on my body.
I know I can get back to where I was, with healthier habits that will not only help my w3ight but are HUGELY helpful in managing my psoriatic arthritis. The medditeranean style dĂŻĂȘt I was doing + working out 3-5 times a week FINALLY had me feeling the way I believe normal, well people feel. And I threw it away because I wanted to binge and drink and muffle the stress in my brain.
My partner and I have decided that we're going to put off looking for a house until we feel like we will still have a savings cushion post down-payment. It's given me some clarity and room to breath. Having a house would not be worth it if we are then stressing about money constantly and living on a painfully strict budget to reinstate our savings.
Blah. I'm just complaining. It was going okay but I was kayaking on the river with my family this past weekend and there were so many lovely fit girls with pretty thigh gaps and toned tummies and tanned skin and I just felt like this fat pale blob covered in nasty red flaky skin patches and greasy half grown out dyed hair. It's so humiliating to look back and know, 100%, that I was miles more beautiful when I was 16/17 than I am at 20, despite having significantly better access to better skincare, haircare, makeup, clothes... everything i need and yet here I am, looking like I've already given up because aparently my general quality of life is not as important to me as three glasses of wine and a pint of ice cream.
I ordered a new swimsuit for the lake trip, because the one I have it better for lounging than really swimming. I started out good this morning and have been slowly getting back into a better excercise routine, though its only been about twice a week during May. I'm going to do my best and hope I can lose 10-15 lbs in the next two months. I can do that on a reasonably strict d1ĂȘt without... y'know.
Anyway. Rant over. This just isn't a can of worms i want to open with anybody in my irl world so I am unloading it here, lol
âshe told you she celibate, she told me i can nail her shit.â
leon s. kennedy x fem!reader
cw: mdni ! smut, loud sex, kind of rough sex, riding, lowkey fwb, mating press, uhh jealousy if that counts, kissing, lots of pet names (girly, princess, i think i out sweetheart in there), NOT PROOFREAD!!
a/n: based off that one sound on tiktok bc i keep seeing edits đ„č also high key reminds of heated rivalry âscott hunter is right next doorâŠâ LMFAO hope u enjoy!!
Leon hates these stupid work parties. Banquets that couldâve been an email, award ceremonies with medals and badges he wouldâve preferred to see in the mail. Itâs not like heâs antisocial, he likes to hang out with the people he works with, but a night in a stuffy suit and endless conversations is almost worse than a mission.
Donât get him started on the plus one bullshit. He simply doesn't have time or patience for a partner, much less at these godforsaken events. He usually goes alone and regretfully suffers the teasing commentsââOh, alone again Kennedy? No girlfriend this time?â
His only saving grace is you, another agent who he works with on his rare duo missions. Youâre just about the only other single person in the entirety of the DSOâthatâs what it feels like. Sometimes, you two will sit at events and roll your eyes at people showing off their partners. Then an awkward silence after of a silent agreement âcause you both know youâre just envious.
âDo you think we can call in sick?â Leon sighs as you both sit in your hotel room before you have to leave for an event. This ceremony thingy-bullshit is a bigger, more nationwide one that your boss sent you both to. One room, but two beds, at least. Cheapskates knew you didnât have significant others and didnât bother with privacy.
âI mean, prolly⊠but we lowkey might get flamed,â you reply. He leans against the doorway of the bathroom as he watches you do your makeup. The pretty, long dress you have on is a far cry from the tactical gear he usually pairs you with. Both looks are hot as hell, he definitely canât deny that. Heâll just tuck that secret in his pocket for now.
âWell, hurry up. Maybe we can show up and leave as quick as possible,â he says as he checks his watch and pretends as if he didnât just try to check you out. Not that it would be the first time.
Extremely unfortunately, you make it to the event, dreading every click of your heels against the marbled floors as you step inside. This oneâs clearly expensive and fancyâthatâs worse. The bar quickly becomes Leonâs victim. He lets you know heâll get you a drink while you find them a spot at a table with an easy escape.
Well, he didnât really expect to come back and find some guy hitting on you. Heâs more curious than annoyed, but itâs there. This guy has the audacity to hit on a girl like you?
âReally? They flew you all the way out here, huh? So youâre pretty special,â this idiot smirks, thinking his blinding white teeth are gonna win you over. Leon can tell youâre irritated.
âSure, you could say that,â you reply with pursed lips and your best disinterested voice. Your gaze shifts briefly to Leon standing behind him who looks amused. Youâre only taking note of your drink that heâs holding.
âWell, special lady, would you maybe like to go to dinner with me somewhere more⊠private?â He lowers his tone leaning in a little, thinking heâs smooth as hell.
âUh⊠no, yâknow my scheduleâs kinda fullâŠâ you shake your head, using that very obvious rejection tone. If he hasnât taken the hint already, he has to take it now, right?
âOkay, no date. Maybe just uh⊠a night together?â
Nope. You were stupid to think a man would ever take a hint.
His tone makes it obvious what heâs asking, he wants his head under your dress. He says it like he knows youâll say yes.
âOh, Iâm celibate, actually,â you smile tersely. He gives you a look as if he doesnât believe you.
âReally? A pretty girl like you isnât interested in sex?â He raises an eyebrow, taking a step closer as if thatâs gonna fix your supposed virginity. âI find that hard to believe, sweetheart.â
âAh, too bad. Really sucks when not every living female wants to fuck you, huh?â You canât help but mock, returning the raised brow. âAfraid itâs just gonna be you and your fist tonight.â
He scoffs, trying not to look as offended as he clearly feels. He finally seems to take the hint. âGod, some special lady you are,â he grumbles, pushing off the chair he was leaning on and giving you a look before disappearing.
âCelibate? Really?â Leon chuckles when he finally gets to talk to you again, holding out a glass of wine for you. He knows first hand that you're just about the opposite of celibate. Youâve been out drinking together multiple times⊠one thing leads to another.
âJust a white lie, cant hurt,â you shrug with equal amusement. You finally sit down at your carefully scouted table right next to the exit for a quick, uninterrupted escape.
The rest of the night is as boring as you expected, but a couple more glasses of wine gets you through it. The millisecond you receive your awardsâsome bullshit that you donât even think needs to be awardedâyou and Leon are out of there. Youâve never been more happy to see your hotel room.
Taking your time undressing and relaxing for a while, eventually you turn in for sleep. Youâre even wearing your cute silky set, all curled up under the sheets. And clutching them tightly. Itâs literally freezing.
âMmh, LeonâŠâ you mumble, trying desperately to warm yourself up. You look over your shoulder at his bare back turned to you on the other side of the room. When did he take his shirt off? âAre you awake?â
After hearing a quiet grunt, you continue. âAre you cold? Iâm freezing.â
âNo. âS hot as hell,â he grumbles. He waits for you to say something else, and just as heâs about to offer you all his sheets, he hears shuffling from your bed. A moment later, he feels the mattress dip behind him and turns over to see you kneeling on the bed and inviting yourself in.
âYâdonât mind if we cuddle?â You murmur, slipping under the covers. He swallows as he sees your cute pajamas with the lace and he can already tell this isnât gonna end with just cuddling. He wordlessly opens his arms up for you, wrapping them around you when you make yourself the little spoon.
He makes sure the sheets are pulled up over your shoulders, rubbing your arms and thighs underneath to try to warm you up. âStill cold?â
Well, not really. You're very hot now, actually, but you nod your head, mumbling yes.
âWant me to warm you up another way?â Leon offers, his voice quiet and rough in that way that sends a shiver down your spine. He rubs his nose against your neck, fingers brushing up under your shirt. How are you supposed to resist?
âYeah,â you nod against the pillow, squirming slightly as he rubs your sideâticklish little thing. You help shift your legs as he pushes your shorts and panties down.
âThere you go. I got you,â he murmurs, sliding his hand back up the inside of your thigh. He kisses the side of your neck as his fingers part your soft curls to get to your pussy. You can feel him smirk against your skin when he feels how wet you are.
âDoesnât feel very cold to me,â his warm digits spread your slick around, finding your clit with ease and gently circling it with his middle finger. You whine quietly, hands grabbing his forearm thatâs around your waist.
Youâre snug but not tight around his fingers, easily dipping them in your wet cunt and spreading you open. He shifts, almost draping himself over you to âkeep you warmâ as he fingers your needy little pussy and gets you nice and ready for him.
âOh, Leon, right there,â you whisper into the pillow as he makes sure the heel of his hand is rubbing against your clit as he adds a third finger. Your hips lightly rock against his palm, your brows pulled into that soft crease that makes you look fucking adorable.
âLook at you, going around telling people youâre abstinent and yet youâre crawling into my arms,â Leon teases gently, curling his fingers in a slow, languid way that makes your spine straighten and your breath catch.
Just as youâre mumbling about getting close and about to cum, he takes his hand away with a kiss to your shoulder beside the strap of your top. You whine, but he turns you around in his arms with one of those dumb smirks.
âCâmon, girly, youâre on top tonight. Show me how celibate you claim you are, hm?â He taunts, bringing you with him as he rolls into his back, big hands on your soft hips.
âUgh, how did I let you talk me into this? Didnât we say weâd stop after last time?â You complain as you settle your hands on his bare chest, your naked hips lazily grinding against the tent in his pajama pants.
âWe both know we canât stop. âSides, I barely talked to you, just tried to warm you up,â he grunts as you start dry humping him, rough hands sliding down your scarred thighs. Rubs his thumbs over the small, raised lines before giving you a light slap on the ass.
âGet going, princess. Youâre slow,â he says with fake impatience, staring up at you with that cheesy smirk. You roll your eyes but start to pull down his sweats and boxers anyway.
Your hips shift restlessly with need as you grip his hard cock, giving it a couple light strokes before positioning yourself above him. With your eyes on your movements, you hold him still as you slowly sink down on him with a low, gravelly moan.
âMmhâfuck, there you go. Hug me so nice,â he sighs with a grunt of your name as he watches you. You sit there on his cock, looking up at him expectantly. This is usually the part where he takes over again and holds you hips while he thrusts up into you.
He simply returns the look. Asshole. What happened to chivalry?
You sigh dramatically, your knees on either side of his waist as you find leverage with your hands behind you on his hard, strong thighs. You donât usually do this part.
You suck in a breath, lifting yourself up a bit, and then back down with a soft moan. Up and down, up and down, grinding softly against him and keeping eye contact.
But itâs just not the same! Even as you keep up a nice rhythm, your soft moans getting louder and your grip getting tighter, heâs not deep enough. Not hitting the spots he usually gets.
âLeon, câmon⊠itâs better when you do it,â you sigh as your hands come back to the front, tracing his abs as you do your damn best riding his cock. He simply stares, amused as his hands rub up and down your thighs.
ââŠLeon,â you say more firmly this time, hoping you can chastise him into fucking you. It doesnât work, and youâre getting impatient. You groan dramatically, circling your hips as you lock your eyes on his. âLeon, just fuck me already! Fuck me hard!â
He canât help but laugh. It gets him going to see you all frustrated, as much as he hates it when youâre anything but happy. Anyway, whoâs he to deny you? His hands slides up to your hips, pausing to grope your ass before firmly planting themselves above your thighs.
âCareful what you wish for,â he murmurs before lifting you up and then pulling you back down to meet his thrust. A moan slips from both of you this time as your fingers dig into his bare chest.
âMmh, fuck yeah Leon,â you groan, leaning back so you can see his face a bit better. Not for long, âcause then he pounds into you hard enough to pull out a high-pitched whine and make you throw your head back with pleasure,
âGod, fuckinâ love that, donât you? You canât even ride me properly. Always need my help,â he grunts as his hips jump to meet yours every single time. He always scolds you in that sickly sweet voice that has your pussy dripping.
âOhâmph! Right thereâyeah, nail my shit, just like that,â you say breathlessly, your head dropping to his chest as one of your hands snakes beneath you to find your clit. A half moan-half growl slips from your lips as your back arches deliciously, teetering right on the edge.
âJesus, cumming already? Needed it bad, did you?â He murmurs as he trails gentle, contradicting kisses compared to his rough thrusts against your shoulder. âCome on, sweetheart. Cum on my cock.â
Itâs hard to hear his words over the squeaking of the bed and your own moans. Almost forgot you were in a hotelâno, you definitely did forget. Thatâs not whatâs crossing your mind right now, though. Youâre too busy crossing the finish line. Moaning his name, your fingers still on your clit as i grinds up into you to help you ride it out.
âThatâs it, girly. Good girl,â Leon mumbles in your ears, rolling your hips against his pelvis. Once heâs decided you've had enough rest, he gently manhandles you onto your back, quickly pushing your legs up and squishing your knees against your tits as he gets right back to work.
His hands grip the backs of your thighs, his fingertips denting into the plush skin as he pounds into your pussy. His voice leaves him in harsh grunts and satisfied groans, his gaze fixed on his cock coming in and out of your soft cunt.
âY-Yâknow⊠how much it pissed me off⊠when that guy was flirting with you?â Leon grunts through gritted teeth, almost like he was trying to keep it back.
âFuck⊠yeah?â You question through your sex haze. You guys donât really talk about other people, or your feelings. Especially not towards each other. So to have him essentially admit that heâs jealous.
âYeah, princess. Couldnât believe he thought he had a chance with⊠you,â his words come out a little slurredâhe always talks too much when he gets close. You whine softly, the jealousy woven in his voice making your insides quiver.
His hands grip tighter on your thighs, not enough to bruise but definitely no less than firm. He leans over you a bit, putting a little more of his weight on top of you as he fucks you harder. He barely manages to remember he didnât use a condom, whining pathetically as he uses all the forces of his self restraint to pull out.
âFuck fuck fuck fuck fuckâŠâ he whispers under his breath, one big hand pushing your thighs together as he strokes himself with the other. You make sure youâve got a front row seat to see his brows furrowed and your name falling helplessly from his lips.
Leon moans your name, his head falling back as he finally pours his hot, sticky cum all over the backs of your thighs. Rope after rope lands on the soft flesh, making him moans a little more as he squeezes as much as he can out of the tip. You look so pretty like that, heâd take a picture if he knew you wouldnât kill him.
âOh god⊠so perfect, sweetie. Did so well,â he mumbles lazily stroking himself a little longer before letting go. He smears a bit of jizz across your skin before bringing his thumb up to your mouth, letting you lick it off.
It takes a moment to rest with his thighs feeling like theyâre in fire, but eventually he page your hip and gets up. He finds a small towel in the bathroom and runs it under warm water to come clean you up. Once you have everything you need, he puts your panties back in and double checks that you're nice and cozy as his little spoon after a very abstinent night.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The light wakes you up in the morning, streaming in through the thin curtains. You grumble, waking up and shaking Leonâs shoulder awake soon after. He kisses you and says thanks for last night, before the two of you return to your ânormal friendly mission partnersâ routine.
Just as Leon closes the door behind you, about to head out to go home, you glance over at the sound of the persom in the next room over leaving as well.
The last thing you expected was to lock eyes with the man who tried to hit on you at the event, looking tired as hell, as if he didnât get any sleep.
ââŠyou didnât sound very celibate to me.â
a/n: hi hope u enjoyed!! any notes always super duper appreciated đ
Was super excited to go to a jazz club with my girls this weekend, bought a new dress n everything, only to realize that the planner (who should not be planning anything, god love her) did not pay enough attention to detail and it's a 21+ establishment. Which i am not. So I can't go unless everyone else agrees to change their plans, which i don't want to ask them to do. Sighhhh
Sitting upright, feet flat on the floor, and drinking warm water at work rn has me feeling like the ultimate health master. Like yesss I am totally fixing my posture and metabolism by doing this for a single day
Every day I sound like a weeb to my friends and family but unfortunately the facts are that NOTHING has given me clear skin except for a few Japanese brands. I'm glowing. Moisturized. Acne and psoriasis free. I basically live on yesstyle now
