Loving a girl when youâre a girl is complex,
You look at her and you see radiance,
Her laughter echoes off the hallway walls and you can feel your breath catch in the back of your throat at the sound,
With every step together in public, you can feel eyes of judgement,
Words smear across your skin like bruises,
It feels like rocks are being cast at you - all for holding her hand,
Not only do you have to deal with the nervous clammy hand that is shaking at the knowledge of being allowed to touch her,
But you have to listen to the sneers and snipes from a generation that does not understand,
From people in a society that disowns you for taking advantage of the opportunity to adore a girl that makes your heart feel like stammering vocabulary at the start of a classroom presentation,
You have to feel the opinion of outsiders,
on top of the fluttering butterflies in the pit of your stomach,
Nobody understands that she is the one that balls into a little ball atop you to watch movies,
Or that she refuses to miss a single chance to cheer you on at any event,
Even when she is sick,
They donât glimpse the way your arms fit around her waist making your shoulders relax at the kitchen counter,
Society attempts to dictate my right to feel,
An outsider tells me to tolerate harassment from their belittlement of a relationship that is mine,
I refuse to stand by absentmindedly at that,
So I will hold your hand when we are in line at the grocery store or at the movies,
I will kiss your nose and your rosy cheeks in front of my family,
My fingertips will find you and help lead you to the dance floor at bars,
Amongst the stares, the cruel misplaced comments, and the judgement from those without a right - I will love you with all I have,
In all circumstances,
Wherever we are,
As a girl I will love a girl.
Itâs not the most interesting thing about me.
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blakekathryn
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