That CAPD feel

This is a blog run by and for people with central auditory processing disorder to share our experiences good and bad. Submit posts via asks or submissions and they will make their way onto the blog =)

[shoyohnt]

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

[lovedthestars-toofondly]

underdiscussed benefit of auditory processing issues is that I’m basically immune to catcalling because I fully. do not understand a single word of what people are saying. half the time I barely realise it’s me they’re talking to because it‘s not like I can figure it out based on content and context clues. there’s just Some Guys Yelling on the other side of the street, and it barely occurs to me to feel addressed because I am, at any given time, too busy thinking about the menacing duality of rhododendrons

[loth-catgirl]

[tlirsgender]

Actors are too scared to be hammy these days I'm tired of people mumbling. Bring back that shakespearean shit. Enunciate like your life depends on it. I have audio processing disorder

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

meltdowns are so rude. you’re just sitting in your body chilling, then it decides on its own that you’re an unwelcome intruder and starts blaring all the alarms

[lemon-juice-in-ur-eyes]

WAIT THATS WHAT A SENSORY MELTDOWN FEELS LIKE?????

I’VE BEEN THINKING IT WAS JUST MY PTSD

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

as someone with c-ptsd, i would say that these experiences have a fair amount of overlap. (and if you’re both autistic and have a trauma disorder, the symptoms can bleed together). a good way to differentiate between sensory meltdowns/shutdowns vs panic attack/flashbacks are by identifying the triggers & root cause:

sensory meltdown/shutdowns:

Triggered by sensory stimuli. 

Usually manifests as a growing feeling of irritation, discomfort, distress, overwhelmedness in response to noises, lights, textures, etc. 

Caused by sensory processing issues, which some people (esp autistic people) are born with.

panic attack/flashbacks*:

Triggered by certain things (words, behaviors, sensory stimuli) that relate to past trauma.

Often experienced as the recall of memories and emotional states, the onset of strong unexpected physical or emotional distress.

Caused by exposure to past trauma.

Anyway, these two things can definitely be experienced in similar ways. Both can include:

Feelings of distress, being overwhelmed, strong emotions such fear, anger, urgency.

Physical symptoms such as difficulty walking, breathing

Loss of executive functions. It’s really hard to just sit quietly or run errands etc when something has pressed the Big Red Button in your brain, no matter what specific type of button it is.

Also, autistic folks are vulnerable to trauma, so some people experience both autism & ptsd. Later I’ll write a post about Complex PTSD (from exposure to chronic trauma, often throughout childhood).

ALSO! It is possible for a panic attack to set off a sensory meltdown/overload, and vice versus. Symptoms can bleed together. 

I also recommend googling emotional flashbacks, which is a term more people need to know.

i have a ko-fi, if you find my posts educational!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It’s the fanciest thing I’ve bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it’s medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

summary:

sound sensitivity aka Hyperacusis is quite common, especially in people with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing disorder

people with sound sensitivity often find ordinary noises too loud or intrusive, while loud noises can cause discomfort and pain

there are treatment options you can discuss with an ENT doctor

earplugs, hearing protection earmuffs, and Noise Cancelling Headphones can be super useful coping strategies. they came in a large variety of designs and price ranges, it is worth hunting around to find what works for you personally.

(but in the longterm, overuse of hearing protection increases sensitivity, so be careful! When in doubt, listen to music instead of just blocking noise.)

high quality noise cancelling headphones can be life-changing, but less expensive options can be very good too!

if you are struggling, please call a local Ear, Nose & Throat clinic to find out how they can help.

and in the meantime, get yourself some hearing protection!

(also the “father of the computer” Charles Babbage spent years waging a war against street musicians)

P.S. I reached my ko-fi goal, thank you!!! I will be answering questions in the notes.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

as an autistic person, can i just say that Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” was totally one of us and also his vendetta against street music & organ grinders was VALID

[pansypr3p]

ey yo gaud what do u have against street music

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i have to wear earplugs and/or prescription sedatives to go outside

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Tags (bc I don’t actually have anything against street music as long as it’s not like, unreasonably intrusive):

#the bigger issue though is overhead music in commercial buildings. restaurants, shops, grocery stores, etc I can’t go to any of those places without earplug and also sometimes gunshot protection earmuffs. it’s an issue  #restaurants will usually turn the music down some if i ask politely, which helps but only to a degree. but yeah, it’s not street music so much as the growing presence of overhead speaker music & background noise in public life. it really shuts out people with sensory issues. makes it difficult for us to socialize and in general just to function in public spaces

[e-the-village-cryptid]

I wrote a paper on this for a music class! The prof was a bit surprised and said she had never thought about how background music could hurt people with sensory issues so basically we just need more awareness. But there is hope! Here’s some stuff I learned:

the UK has been getting better at this

many essential stores there now have “quiet hours” where they turn off music, minimize announcements, minimize beeping of cash registers, and dim the lights

one large supermarket chain got rid of music altogether to make their stores more accessible

other countries could benefit from this

in the US 1% of the population uses wheelchairs so buildings are required to have wheelchair ramps under the ADA

7-8% of the population has sensory issues so following the UK’s example would definitely fall under “reasonable accommodations” required by the ADA

let’s bring “quiet hours” to the US and other countries!

Finally, have a meme:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh I LOVE this

[foxeareddevil]

People always say I’m being “dramatic” about this but i literally cannot listen to a person talk or verbalize my own thoughts if there is too much background noise of any kind. Music too loud at a cafe? It’s absolutely draining to impossible for me to have a conversation there. I have to wear headphones to the supermarket and then awkwardly take them off at checkout (no self checkout in Germany). Any kind of siren? Congrats I’m plugging my ears with my fingers and i have to stop walking because the sound makes it so i can’t concentrate on my steps. Boyfriend watching a video and simultaneously playing a game with sound on? I have to leave the room and close the door because it makes me aggressive af. Same goes for kids screaming/crying. I get so god damn angry i have to literally go away.

I didn’t know any of this was legit, i thought i was just being unnecessarily sensitive and bothering everyone ._.

[theworksofshanyu]

Holy shit I thought this was normal too

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

nope, this is a very real medical issue!

hypersensitivity to noise (medically known as Hyperacusis) is common in autistic folks & people with sensory processing disorder, but can also be caused by a number of other issues. It can be an enormous and often literal headache to deal with.

I’ve written about it and shared some coping mechanisms here. if you struggle with sensitivity to sound, please make an appointment with a local ENT doctor—there are therapy and treatment options available (though it is an uncommon enough issue that I would call ahead to let them know your concerns, and ask them to take time to research treatment recommendations in advance of your appointment. you can also ask to be referred to a specialist). This isn’t something anyone should have to deal with alone.

[thatcapdfeel]

An audiologist may also be able to help, although it would be worth calling or emailing ahead with them too.

On a related note: if all of this resonated with you but noisy environments aren't painful or uncomfortable, just exhausting, you may be experiencing listening fatigue. And you should definitely get that checked out because that can be debilitating in of itself and is a symptom of sensory processing disorder, auditory processing disorder or a hearing impairment.

[laughingmyaspergersoff]

Autistic Lifehack: Hearing Problems

If someone says something that you only partially understand:

DON’T ask for clarification with a generic “What?” or “I’m sorry?” (In my experience, people will repeat the phrase the exact same way without helping you to understand).

Example: Them: “Hey, do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “What?” Them: “Do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “I’m sorry, what?” Them (annoyed): “Do you like pahganabasa?”

Instead, DO repeat the part that you did understand, and substitute a “What?” for the unintelligable part.

Example: Them: “Hey, do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “Do I like what?” Them: “Pineapple pizza?” Autistic Person: (Understands the words!)

[thischick25]

I’ve also had successes with “I’m sorry, I only heard the first half of that sentence,” or actually verbalizing my interpretation of the part I heard incorrectly as a question: “Pahgana… basa?”.

Sometimes that makes the speaker think that they might be mumbling, or verbalizing in a way that makes them difficult to understand (because there are times it’s really not your brain–it’s their mouth).

[gayrab]

This is also a lifesaver if you have Auditory Processing Disorder. It stopped the amount of annoyed sighs because ppl thought I was deliberately ignoring them or them saying the same thing but louder (which does not help when volume isn’t the problem)

[thatcapdfeel]

Thanks. those are options for people without apd though and those jobs are very hard to get and most people with those jobs have licences and cars, or they know someone who got them hired. Dude I knew got a job at a grocery store with his moms help. how are you “gifted”? What’s your gift?

Hey so I’m not super comfortable going into more detail about my IQ. Especially as its mostly useful for identifying personal strengths and weakness. When you have difficulties like ours the overall number they give you isn’t super useful because differences in between the results of the subtests don’t always work the way they do for neurotypical individuals. It sounds like you are having a rough time, and unfortunately I don’t know how much I can help.

I do think it would be worth calling a helpline (or online chat! many have a texting and online chat options). Even if your mental health is otherwise ok, “I’m worried about my educational and career options due to my disability/learning disorder(s) and its stressing me out” is a perfectly good reason to seek out support for mental health. They’re also probably more local than I am, and will have a better idea of what services and options are available to you. If you are under the age of 25, youth helplines or services might be especially helpful, and if you are still in school, your school might have counseling or career counseling options that could be worth while getting in touch with. I hope this helped

[thatcapdfeel]

Due to writing limit - does apd affect iq? Cause my iq is 80 which means I’m stuck being as intelligent as a child? May explain why I struggled understanding teachers and why I struggled in waitressing. I think I have dyslexia as well ? But never been tested for that. What are realistic careers with someone who has all these difficulties? Hopefully they find a cure!

Answering both of these together:  Hey, so, yes APD does affect your intelligence, but the specifics and significance of this effect depends on the individual. For example, I am twice exceptional, that is, both “gifted” and have a learning disorder. In practice this usually means I appear quite smart, but my academic results tend towards average, and I’m only good at following instructions if they are both discussed with me and written down. Also, my spelling is terrible. The other relevant issue here is how your auditory processing disorder manifests. For example, mine mostly affects my auditory working memory (it’s like short term memory) and my ability to hear stress and rhythm. A practical example: I can’t sing a song on my own because I won’t remember the tune or the words, nor can I tell you what time signature we are using, but people chatting in the background probably won’t bother me (because I don’t need to hear any conversation at all for this task). However, as you can tell from the responses to the last post other people’s APD affects them differently, both in comparison to me and each other. When you were assessed for APD the report should have included your particular areas of difficulty. This can help you narrow down what you may want to avoid. Given waitressing was difficult it might be worthwhile looking for jobs with quiet working environments. But without knowing more about your particular difficulties and personal strengths I don’t know what else you might want to look for (also I am not a careers counsellor, I might steer you wrong!) but I can tell you what some friends of mine with hearing impairments do.

An old highschool friend who has a visual processing disorder and APD works in a bookshop

A friend with one bad ear and dyslexia has a landscaping business

A friend with two different hearing impairments worked in a grocery store and fixes peoples computers

So there are options!

Also, it is worth knowing that people with APD often have other disorders as well. About half of people with APD also fit a diagnosis of ADHD, APD is common in autistic people and people with APD often also have dyslexia and/or language delays that are not explained by low IQ.

https://doi.org/10.1080/13682820902929073

This is not to say that you have any of the above disorders, just that if you think you may have difficulties not explained by APD, you wouldn’t be alone! I hope this helps!

[thatcapdfeel]

How can you experience good with apd ? “ to share our experiences good and bad.”. Like who has a good experience with it? Like how? And who?

My experience of APD is mixed, some experiences I have because of it are good, some are bad and some are just neutral.

Personally, I kinda enjoy it when I mishear things in a really silly way, for instance, one time my boss told me that if the printer needed paper there was some under the bench. But I heard it as if the printer needed cake there was some under the bench. Which just has some really funny implications, but it was also pretty clear what was actually going on, so it wasn't that annoying, you know?

Another occasionally cool thing:

My brain does privilege speech over other sounds as it's supposed to, but it doesn't always pick the right conversation, which is annoying, but I've overheard a lot of interesting conversations that I wouldn't have if I was neurotypical

So yeah it doesn't all have to be bad

[thatcapdfeel]

Hi I have APD and was diagnosed many years ago. Does anyone here have trouble with lengthy conversations. Recently i sat in on a 1hour meeting and half way through i was completely vague and i was feeling sleepy trying to process all the information. Has this happened to anyone else? Any tips? I really struggled.

Oh god yes, I find long meetings and lectures really difficult. Doing something with my hands (embroidery, origami, doodling, etc) helps me personally.  Does anyone else have tips?

[thatcapdfeel]

Anyone have tips for online school w CAPD? I have to do my classes through zoom, which limits visual cues I usually rely on and the audio is so much harder to deal with than in person (I can hear the background noise in my house and all the other people’s who aren’t muted). I started last week and ever since I’ve been more irritable and tired and my ears have been hurting constantly, everything seems so loud. Im so tired I just want to sleep constantly this weekend to catch up. Any advice?

A sent an ask recently about advice because I have to do online school (classes taught through zoom) and I’m sorry to pester you but Im rlly struggling bc of my CAPD. My ears constantly hurt (like how most ppls do after rlly loud concerts), I’ve been getting headaches, and I’m extremely exhausted 24/7. It’s making me very irritable and snappy, and I’m struggling to finish homework because of exhaustion. Any advice would be appreciated and I know you’re busy and stuff so sorry to nag Oh I’m so sorry, this is kinda rushed because it sounds like you need help asap. Ok so email your teachers and if your school has a disability support officer email them too. Your teacher may be able to be stricter about people only having their microphones on while they are talking. They may also be able to give you the lesson plan in advance or give you extensions on homework. Depending on the school they may have other options and strategies that they can try. If they are good teachers they will also want to know that you are in pain and exhausted so that they can support you as much as possible. I also get ear pain after listening to something for a long time with my head phones in. I manage this by only having one in at a time swapping ears often, so that it never quite gets to the point where it hurts. not having headphones at all can also help if you aren’t sharing the space. I don’t know if you watch a lot of tv or listen to music when not in class but if you do I would stop for now. You can watch netflix with the sound off and the subtitles on though.

You also should try to go to a doctor or an audiologist. An audiologist would be better but a gp may be able to help you get a referral. The reason you need to see a doctor is that middle ear pain like you get after a loud concert is a sign of damage and normally after a concert your ears would recover. Unfortunately  continued exposure will permanently damage your ears. If that is happening you need to get expert assistance so that your hearing doesn’t deteriorate. But even if that is not what is happening you need assistance because constant ear aches, head aches and fatigue are bad and getting in the way of your education.  Even if you have an official diagnosis you should go to the audiologist because your current tools and coping mechanisms are not working and you are in pain and fatigued.   

[thatcapdfeel]

How do I politely tell someone that they talk too much for me to be their friend. Like I know it’s kinda harsh, and they are a nice person, but they talk NONSTOP (and fast) everyday all day and it burns me out. I began just avoiding this person because after even a 10-15 min convo with them I feel incredibly exhausted (like I would take a nap on the floor in a heartbeat) and it is really unhelpful to feel like that mid-school day. I wish I had handled this differently instead of avoiding them

You could try telling them that you get concentration fatigue when talking to people, and that you really like them but you need to take breaks from listening otherwise you will be too tired for school. If you want to be their friend as well you could tell them that you’d like to hang out with them anyway but maybe after school or that it would be nice to talk to them via messenger or discord instead.

[thatcapdfeel]

me: cannot understand at least half of what people are saying, mishears everything if it's heard at all, constructs reactions based on body language alone

me: ears finely tuned to the horrible buzz of a house fly in another room

[thatcapdfeel]

Sorry if this is dumb but I've suspected I might have capd for a long time now because most I've been affected by a lot of the symptoms for many years but it wasn't present during my childhood so idk if I actually have it or not??

CAPD can get worse as you get older, and I know that sometimes when people develop hearing loss their auditory processing abilities deteriorate as well, but also sometimes new situations push your limits further than the old onesso it can seem like you have developed CAPD but really you are just spending more time in noisy places or you are getting more verbal info that you need to memorise or you are just generally more stressed and have less energy to deal with sensory weirdness and so the symptoms become more obvious 

[thatcapdfeel]

Okay so I require subtitles always and I understand speech usually but it takes me a few tries or I need the person to slow down or annunciate really hard, could this be APD?

It could be

[myautisticjournal]

Why Teachers Should Turn on Subtitles for Class Videos- A Personal Anecdote

Today in my art class, I had the worst time coping with my auditory processing issues. My teacher played a documentary about the street art movement, primarily dealing with Banksy and Thierry Guetta (it’s called “Exit Through the Gift Shop” for anyone interested- epilepsy warning though for flashing lights and fast movement).

Anyway, the people had British and French accents making it really hard for me to understand what they were saying. At one point Banksy was featured, but in order to keep his anonymity, he used a voice modifier. This was the worst. I absolutely could not understand anything he said, which was really upsetting since I was fascinated by the subject. In total, I only understood about half of the documentary, which is such a shame.

Teachers never use subtitles for some reason, which confounds me. Oftentimes students will talk during the movie anyway, making it hard to hear for the students who actually want to watch it. If subtitles were on, that would not be such a big deal. This is not even mentioning students who have less-than-average hearing or are straight up hearing-impaired.

What are your guys’ experiences with this?

[thatcapdfeel]

If you ask for the subtitles to be turned on usually they will turn them on If they ask for a reason you don't even need to go into the whole APD thing if you don't want too, you can say something like "it's easier for me to focus for the length of a whole movie if there are subtitles" Try to ask before class if you can though so you don't need to do it in front of everyone