NeuralStunner⁴²

@thatneural

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a squeak like wet shoes on linoleum. Nine crows in a trenchcoat. Cat parent. Unrepentant humorist. Opinions are mayonnaise. He/they/she. * If it's all lowercase I'm probably not serious. * I rarely like/comment/reblog, nothing personnel.

31 posts

Posts

Rejected SI units: 1 milliwheaton = 0.001 Wil Wheatons

Alternatively: 1 at 1/1000 scale, but he keeps refusing to get in the machine.

#rejected si units #wil wheaton

Rejected SI units: 1 petawrap = delicious

#rejected si units #pita wrap

Rejected SI units: 1 gigaconomy = 1,000,000,000 freelance workers

#rejected si units #gig economy

Rejected SI units: 1 deciarnaz = 0.1 Cuban-American actors

#rejected si units #desi arnaz

Rejected SI units: 1 hectoplasm = 100 ghost-induced slimings

#rejected si units #ectoplasm

Rejected SI units: 1 millibuster = 0.001 time-wasting arguments

#rejected si units #filibuster

Rejected SI units: 1 kiloflyte = 1000 poetic insults

#rejected si units #flyting

You may be fries

I may be gravy

But it just may be a poutine dish you're looking for

#musical shitposting #billy joel #you may be right #poutine #o canada #anyone have Al's number?

Peter Piper picked a single pepper, red as blood and curved as a reaper's sickle. To gaze upon it is perilous as it whispers dark truths directly into the mind. Several county fair judges were driven mad by its unwelcome revelations. Yet beneath the forbidden knowledge and shattered lies laid bare by this diabolical fruit, there was a common message. A frightening warning of three great evils that would befall this world, from which our society will never recover. It made for a kickass pizza, though.

#wyrdposting #evil produce #baleful ingredients baleful pizza

The truism "it's only a game" is a truncated version of a much older saying:

It's only a game if it comes from the Game region of France, otherwise it's just a sparkling competition.

#idioms #idiomatic idiocy #competitive sparkling is probably already a thing

It's funny how we tend to think of the Satanic Panic™ as a past event, but there are still people who will hurriedly buy a candy bar they didn't really want because a total of $6.66 is scary.

#satanic panic #the number of the decibeast #numerology is pagan btw

"Pick your battles" has always been good advice, but it's also important to recognize when something isn't a battle at all. Arguing with the cashier is not going to get you into Valhalla.

#idioms #norse mythology #pick your battles #but don't pick your nose in battle

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss when you could just stretch out your arms anywhere and hover. Nowadays it's all "the scent of salt and hot metal is bothering the kids" and "the whispers of forgotten civilizations are messing with my phone signal." 🙄

#wyrdposting #cursed nostalgia

If at first you don't succeed, this timeline is doomed. Make your way to the nearest temporal nexus before the imminent collapse.

#wyrdposting #time travel

Unfortunately, no one can be told what Updog is. You have to see it for yourself.

#the matrix #updog

What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A worthy sacrifice, but you know what the Ageless One will require of you next, mortal.

#wyrdposting #lawyer jokes

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who try to tribalize everything, and those that don't.

#humor #self-demonstrating article

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