I Want To Speak To The Manager

Customers go to managers to complain. But where are the employees supposed to go to complain about customers? Here is where you can complain, share stories, and bring attention to the ridiculous things that happen in your stores.

[deatheaterevan]

Black Friday Reminders

I hope none of y’all need to hear this but..

✨✨✨If you are going out shopping on Thanksgiving or Black Friday you have to be extra nice to the employees who are working there✨✨✨

Below are things you absolutely cannot complain about this year on Black Friday:

🚫 Waiting in line - you went out shopping on the busiest day of the year, what the fuck did you expect?

🚫 The in store promotions and how those promotions ring up or stack/don’t stack - the store does not set the prices, neither do the associates or managers who work there. The whole Black Friday mess is set from corporate.

🚫 Your expired coupons or online only offers - see above

🚫 Availability of products advertised - not all stores will have all promotional products available. Shipping got messed up because of corona, and/or the store may have limited quantities of promotional items.

🚫 The service you receive or the wait time - it’s busy af and the store is likely understaffed because of occupancy restrictions or other factors. Plus, we are in the middle of a pandemic and you are out here buying non-essential items just to get your consumerism fix. You can wait for assistance.

🚫 Having to wear a mask in the store - Again.. PANDEMIC. If the employees at the store can wear a mask for 8hrs a day, 5 days a week, you can wear a mask for the 30min-1hr you spend in the store

I want nothing but appreciation or silence from customers on this year’s Black Friday.

This year especially is a bad year to be working in retail because not only do we have to work with the crowds of potentially rude people, but we will be working with crowds of potentially rude people who also might have 🦠 Corona 🦠

And lastly, If you are sick, stay home. Literally, stay the fuck at home. Do your shopping online, the deals online are sometimes better anyways. We don’t need your Corona-having ass in our store.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Feel free to share this.

[deatheaterevan]

A Hamilton retail story.

[thatretaillifetho]

Retail is UNREAL

Overheard a mother today tell her daughter “Just use it gently, make sure the tags don’t come off”

Like

Excuse me WHAT

[thatretaillifetho]

“The customer is always right” is literally the dumbest phrase in existence

It’s should be “The customer is occasionally right, but most of the time the customer just didn’t read their receipts”

[deatheaterevan]

People with un-receipted returns...

Hi there

I see you and your bullshit

Plz stop

Thx

[thatretaillifetho]

You know what’s fun about closing?

Doing the final closing announcement while making awkward direct eye contact with customers as they get in line 👀

[thatretaillifetho]

Except there’s usually way more than 2 messy customers

[thatretaillifetho]

A customer didn’t understand why you couldn’t use coupons on gift cards

He insisted that it didn’t say gift cards were excluded on the coupon

I then explained to him that if he were to purchase a $100 gift card and put a 20% off coupon on it, it would just be an $80 gift card

When I said that he finally realized how dumb he was being and I saw it in his face 😂

[thatretaillifetho]

Tis the season to be stupid fa la la la la la la la la

[thatretaillifetho]

Do you ever just slow down the return process when taking a return you do not want to take?

Like sure, I’ll return those shoes you used for a year and a half, but I’m going to take my sweet time looking up your return, and I may or may not spend some extra time just hitting random buttons on the register. You’re welcome. Thank you and come again!

[citizen-zero]

Major Retail Chains and their energies

Target - definitely full of chaotic energy, but it’s a fairly benign and even benevolent energy. You’ll leave with a sense of satisfaction whether you purchased something or not. As a current employee I can attest that the veil between worlds is as thin as tissue paper in the back room–whatever’s following you around out on the sales floor, it was probably lurking in the back room for a while first.

Marshall’s and TJ Maxx - I’m grouping these two together because I’m entirely certain they’re the same store with different branding, the way Zeus and Jupiter are two names for the same god. The energy exuded by these establishments is incredibly dark and extremely chaotic, and nowhere is it more clearly reflected than in the merchandise. I’ve never entered a Marshall’s or a TJM where the merchandise was shelved and stocked in a way that would be pleasing to the customer’s eye–in fact it feels as though the displays are deliberately made to look sloppy and unappealing. These stores claim to carry designer brands at affordable prices, but have you ever actually recognized any brands they carry? If any stores were going to be run the fae, it would be these two.

Macy’s and JC Penney - Similar to Marshall’s and TJ Maxx, but much less dark and chaotic. This is not to say that they’re benevolent–on the contrary, they’re like the island of the lotus eaters in that you’ll be lured further and further into the store, browsing clothing racks and sampling perfumes and trying out cosmetics until you realize with shock that hours have passed. Enter with and do not wander into any other sections except the one you came to search.

Old Navy - actually pretty neutral energy, and even leaning slightly towards good ever since they got rid of those fucking mannequins (you know the ones I’m talking about). It’s the only store that I personally have been able to find plus size clothes that actually look good on me. However the store aesthetic is “warehouse where the mafia stores their contraband,” so that’s something.

Forever 21 - chaotic and pure evil, but if you’re not buying clothes it’s pretty cute.

Walmart - I’ve been to Walmart once. I think the “People” part of “People of Walmart” is supposed to be a very dark joke.

Duane Reade/Walgreens - these actually are the same store, except DR only exists in New York City. The energy here is quite frustrated, as if it knows it has so much more to offer than the average store size will allow. However, despite the frustration, it’s full of benevolent energy. It’s here to please. The presence of a pharmacy helps offset a lot of the negativity and awfulness that would fester here otherwise.

Barnes and Noble - benevolent and loving. A store that delivered wonder and joy to children, entertainment and enlightenment to all. I bought my first tarot deck at a Barnes and Noble, as well as the first book to truly change my life. A dying breed whose inevitable passing will be the truest tragedy of our time

[cashiercomplaints]

“Do they ever give you a day off?”

“Do you ever go home? I was here last night and you were here!”

I work 40 hours a week. You’re bound to crash into me if you visit the store multiple times a week. I already know that I have no life outside of the store, no need to remind me.

[basoomas]

This kid at work today completely schooled their mum about the struggles of being a retail worker and I was living for it

Mother: *grabs a t-shirt from the bottom of the pile*

Kid: you just ruined that lady's folding

Mother: she doesn't mind it's her job

Kid: she just did her job but you ruined it. You always tell me to tidy my own mess.

[sixpenceee]

[thenimbus-deactivated20200907]

“would you like a pant, friend?”

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Slenderman gotta work retail now? Smh, this economy fucked EVERYONE

[inventingallthecolors]

Customer: *picks something up, walks away, puts it down 10-150 feet away*

Me:

[ohmessylife]

retail gothic

• you started your shift at three p.m. today. now your back aches, your feet hurt, your cheeks are strained from smiling so much. you’ve been working for hours. you look at the clock. the time is half past three. surely the clock must be broken. all of the clocks are broken.

• no matter how many customers you serve, the checkout line never clears. every time the last one in line steps forward, ten new customers spawn out of thin air. they come in packs, never alone.

• the total is 0.99 cents. the customer pays with a 500-euro-bill. at four in the morning, your door rings. the customer is back. they say they have the change now.

• a customer wants to return an item. you ask if they still have the receipt. they do not. you ask if they left the price tag on the item. they did not. you ask to see the item. they did not bring the item. they just want their money back. you say you can’t return the item like this. they ask to speak to a manager. the manager makes you return the money. the customer is always right, they say.

• you tidy up the sales table. when you pass by it five minutes later, all of the packages have been ripped open, a bottle of sticky lotion has leaked all over the other items, and there’s a random frying pan from the other end of the store. there are no customers in sight.

• you tidy the shoe section. sometimes there are two left shoes. sometimes there are two right shoes. sometimes the shoes are different sizes or colors. rarely do they match. the customers ask you to check for missing shoes in the back. the back is a four square meter broom closet. as you stand there in absolute darkness pretending to look, you wonder where all the shoes go.

• thanks to your retail job, you’ve somehow struggled your way through college. you can’t seem to find a job, but there’s a full time opening at your store. congrats, you’re a manager now.

[that-cashier-life]

Customers: “So glad it’s Friday! Finally the weekend haha! :D” Me: