shark vs the universe
noise dept.
tumblr dot com
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Product Placement
occasionally subtle
roma★
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
trying on a metaphor
oozey mess
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever
Kiana Khansmith
art blog(derogatory)
$LAYYYTER
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Serbia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Greece
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Türkiye
seen from Maldives
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Colombia
seen from Lithuania
@thatruerealmwalker
I have a Commission Sheet!!!
Commission Status: OPEN
If your interested in making a commission, or want to ask a question, feel free to reach out! Commission tend to take about a few days, and payment is upfront! Payment is currently done through Invoices processed by Stripe!
Thank you for your time!
"you gotta play the hand you're dealt" somebody doesn't know how to build for draw/discard. *does a backflip*
I'm glad people are finding this post inspiring but it's actually about my best friend The Silent from Slay the Spire
mcmodernslopcore
Howdy, howdy, folks.
For many years (ten now, about which, more soon) McMansion Hell has featured many prominent and diverse atrocities from all over these great United States and sometimes beyond them. However, most of these posts have consisted of houses built during the McMansion Era proper -- from the 80s up through around the early 2010s.
This is for a number of reasons. First of all: I like these houses because they are insane. Second of all, they are indeed quite different from one another -- they represent the owner's idiosyncratic if poorly rendered desires and fantasies. They are heavily psychologically loaded buildings. One family dreams endlessly of Tuscany, another wants to recreate the mall. All interiorize previously exterior forms of consumption.
These houses were also very expensive to build compared to their contemporary iterations: all real, solid wood cabinetry and trim, wrought iron railings, marble floors, elaborate murals - none of this is cheap. This is not to say that I'm nostalgic for the classical McMansion (though many are) only that it, like, most other facets of architectural and everyday life, have become progressively cheaper and more bland.
The McMansion never truly goes away. It merely changes shape over time. One of the shapes it currently takes is a particularly loathsome imitation of contemporary high architecture (specifically the kind of houses architects love to build for celebrities in California) executed in the most wretchedly parsimonious manner possible. It feels cheap to use the word 'slop' but their indiscriminate nature - the way they have no regard for why or how the things they imitate even work - allows it. Of all the building forms that could be generated with AI, this is the most likely. At any rate, behold:
Yes this is a real house. Yes you can buy it for $6 million in, yet again, Barrington, IL. It has 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms totaling 11,600 square feet. But most importantly, it looks like dogshit, and that's with ten layers of Photoshop have been used to gussy it up which, by the way, also makes it appear entirely not of this world. Were it not for the photos of the empty interiors, I myself would have trouble trusting my own eyes. Part of the reason it looks so unreal is because the design itself is absurd, as though someone created four equally ugly vessels and threw them up one by one.
In 2017, in a now-deleted essay for Curbed (RIP - they destroyed the archive) I called these types of houses McModerns, simply because they were McMansions dressed up in modernist garb, which they wore no differently than they would Neo-Tudor or Mediterranean (broadly construed.) These houses don't warrant a new neologism, but they do feel like a degraded or perhaps even gonzo version of even that old concept. Slop works fine too, especially because half of what's in these images isn't real.
Much fascinates me about these houses, however one of the most unique elements vis a vis the last 30 years of building is how overtly and almost hostilely masculine they are. Anything that can be construed as feminized - color, softness, ornament - has been ruthlessly purged. They also rip off tech industry minimalism which only ads to their bro-ey nature. While previous iterations of McModernism (think new builds in Colorado with fake wood exteriors) scream dads with IPAs, these houses scream Reddit to me. They are Elon Musk-adjacent in sentiment.
By the way, this is what that room looks like without the fake furniture. It's basically a sunroom.
Whole Foods would like to call in a robbery.
Because these houses are designed by men, for men, no one involved has learned how a kitchen works. Many are calling this setup the "grindset tiktok video kitchen." This is the kitchen you see in those day in the life of an AI startup founder videos your algorithm forces you to watch against your will.
Virtual staging is actual literal slop. In fact, one can say that it was an early harbinger of the ontological crisis we now face, one of the first instances where one is forced against one's will to question reality, what one sees with one's own eyes. Beyond that, I think virtual staging is literally a form of lying. You can use it to make a space look bigger or smaller than it is. In this -- lying to impress -- it also has a lot in common with AI. This dining room has nothing to do with the world I'm living in. These chairs are not my problem.
It's actually AMAZING how much of what's in this house, beyond the furniture, is fake. Every single material is fake. The stone is aluminum paneling. The plants are plastic. The concrete is printed on some kind of surface (as evidenced through its repetitive pattern), though it's hard to say from just pictures. I don't even trust the floors!!
Ok if you haven't read Kelly Pendergrast's amazing essay "Merchandizing the Void" about how houses are all like stores now, HERE IS THE LINK. Some ideas never die, they just evolve, king. Like you.
Please, I'm very cold.
Unfortunately there are no pictures of the rear exterior of this house, so this is where we will have to conclude for today. That being said, these houses and their antecedents are developing a design language all their own that will, in time, be as culturally rich to us as the houses of yore. The problem is they are less visually interesting. They are houses made to scroll in and scroll right by. Expect to see more of them here, but only if they have something, anything to say.
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! (I would seriously appreciate any and all tips because I am in the process of moving house!)
this meme is around again so i can finally make this
My cover of McDonalds at the Pentagon cuz I couldn't get it out of my head for an entire week...
Original song and lyrics by Silly Stu - https://www.youtube.com/@SillyStu4U
Instrumental ska arrangement by Spenceroni - https://x.com/spencer0ni
cover and art made on (2/27/25)
cover video made on (2/28/25)
Lovely animation and cover!!!
Ohhhhh good song!
Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!
I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day
The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.
Yeah that checks out.
What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?
Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.
Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.
While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.
Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.
Painter: Aw...
Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔
Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?
Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.
Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.
Candysseia: And where did he come from?
Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.
Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?
Pericles: *hands him papyrus*
Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!
[post-credits scene]
Doofenric: Wait, you know a platypus named Pericles, too? Is every platypus named Pericles?
Ferbingetorix: As far as we know, yes.
Disco Elysium Custom Skills Masterpost
72 Skills for your deranged detective to experience violently.
(My wife helped compiled them for me, so massive thanks to her!)
WOAH!
I love this text post so I drew it
LOVE ART, NO MORE NOTES.
happy glorious 25th of may
I feel like anyone who calls the dialogue in kojima games "contrived" or any variation thereof is simultaneously missing the point and denying themselves the fun of watching an extremely long game-movie, but also, the man literally just tweets like this
exhibit B
Please know that second one is about him being locked out of his instagram account for 15 minutes
Why is he better at this than me
You don't get context for this
But if you want some...
Thank you everyone for voting! I found a new way to do Poppy's eyes and Prototype's hands late into this. (I locked in fr fr)
big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings
they couldnt take the heat
join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us
bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right
the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears
the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry
if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, bellend, etc.
and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real
