[thatssonottightbutthole]

*smith grinds down a gnarly hand rail* Pedestrian1: sick Pedestrian2: fuck yea did you see that Pedestrian1: the destruction of property through unconventional use of an object and its' purpose... disturbing. Pedestrian2:

[gameboycartridge-deactivated202]

rp blogs be like

[ W I N N I E   T H E   P O O H ] + indie rp blog for winnie the pooh + + dont even look at me if you’re not christopher robin + + roleplaying since 382 B.C + #нσηєу уσυ αяє му ѕυηѕнιηє❁ (self) #ιмαgιηαтιση ιѕ тнє кєу тσ ѕєℓƒ ∂єѕтяυ¢тιση❁ (ic) #¢няιѕтσρнєя яσвιη gяєω υρ тσ вє α ƒυяяу❁ (angst)

[zzsleeps]

[thatssonottightbutthole]

honestly, posts like these are reasons why I can't just drop tumblr

[thatssonottightbutthole]

I've been busting ass for the past two years and I'm so stoked for how far I've come. My old paychecks laying around are reminders of how lazy I am for how I don't make time to dispose of them properly and the percs of climbing up the ladder. More time to think about the future. And uh, sorry for being inactive- It's time to network and build new bridges, so many people to meet, so many places and things to see; life is exciting. 💖I love you all💖 I'll be more active again when life reminds me I'm a pile of shit. The cycles are inevitable and I'm bound to stick around Until then, I'm happy and I hope all of you are too 😘

[everythingisterrible]

[onlytwitterpics]

[latinkilledtheromans]

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

[221cbakerstreet]

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it

[bob-belcher]

does anyone else get really anxious when the cashier hands you change and you’re hurriedly putting it away in your wallet so that the next customer in line can proceed or is that just me

[oleathe]

i don’t even put it in my wallet, i just crumple everything and throw it in the bag before the anxiety bomb goes off

[setheverman]

american things that are surely fictional:

donald trump

blue raspberry

wearing shoes indoors

texas?????

[songllama]

Actually, I can vouch for Texas, my brother lives there.

[setheverman]

your brother

[poetic]

[bando--grand-scamyon]

MESSAGE

[dripping-adorableness]

Whoo shit

[weloveshortvideos]

This dog has had to play doctor so many times

[hbbibasghera-deactivated2016041]

[pokemon-go-team-valor]

[ruinedchildhood]

YOU HAD ONE JOB RAFIKI!

[twitterlols]

true romance 💞

[cornygirlfriend]

[bitchycode]