The Whole Story. The “death threats”, the bullying, and the disingenuous people.
In this rather long post, I will go over the entirety of my experience as a member of the drawfag community and how I have been harassed, humiliated, bullied, insulted for over a year now.
Preface: I would like to take a moment to say that I know what I did was wrong, that my “joke” went too far, and that I apologize for my behavior.
Coming into drawing on /b/ I was very excited to be able to create stories and interact with others through art, who wouldn’t be? Starting out with MSPaint I used a line tool and made my on site persona of one of my favorite videogame characters, Yung Venuz. From the very first thread I entered I met another character by the name of Marc( @dr-rainbow-hat ) and given how brazen and rash I was, we still, at the start, got along well as acquaintances. However, in the coming months his character devolved into hateful, attacking monster who has not only attacked me, but has harassed the entire community to the point where he has been outright banned in several group chats and has no wish to improve upon his behavior.
He has openly made fun of other drawfag’s suicides:
Has had pictures sent to him (stolen by @jiggycomrade ) from my Facebook which he posted on an anonymous image board:
Asking openly for my personal Facebook to harass my family:
Among many other insultingly disgusting behaviors.
One of the biggest problems is that he has others work as his voice for him, supporting him and defending him despite proof of his awful behaviors.
Despite proof of Marc, aka Brandon, posting my photos to thread, one of his followers, Espec (@ectoscum) implied I had done it myself for attention.
Another one of his more notable compatriots, Zander (@zanderthroatjob) created a fake Skype to play mind games with me on who really posted my pics.
This same Zander, whom I know to lie consistently, and who has posted my chat logs to others before, was trying to start on again about who really had posted my pics, which gave me an idea to fuck with him. Yes, I was childish. Yes, I am in the wrong for stating the things I said even if they were stated jokingly. And yes, I regret what I had said. But here is the full chat log in its entirety for all to see.
(Context to the “death threats” and the whole “stabbing ordeal: when I had first discovered someone posting my Facebook images onto 4chan, I was very upset and intoxicated at the time it was happening, and said stupidly in my rage that I would fly out and stab whoever had posted the pictures.
I was heartwarmed that Zander shared my sympathies for my family, but felt betrayed to later find out that he not only shared screencaps of private messages to Brandon, who had posted the images, but was actively involved in collecting and reposting them several times in threads.
~
What parts of the story are true and what parts are not are only known to Brandon, Zander, Bludgeons, and Espec. Given this knowledge, I find all parties equally as guilty for the matter, but that is besides the point.)
Starting with the first one I confronted him about his post on 4chan, (the same post where he states he was fucking with me) and wanted confirmation this was him.
He confirmed that it was him, that he was lying to stir trouble, and began to message about my pictures being posted to thread, stating that he knew who REALLY gave the pictures to Marc, claiming that it was Bludgeons. (@jiggycomrade)
Since I had enough reasonable doubt not to believe him, I continued to egg him on in a childish way of getting back at him for messing with me those months before. From here, it was painfully obvious to see that I was not taking this whole “revelation” seriously, stating how “we had no hard feelings after our break up”. It is also here which begins the “death threats”, stating joking remarks such as “going ching chong china on her ass”.
He seemed to be under the impression I was being serious despite some of the silly comments, so idiotically I continued to post more, giving him more ammunition. I should have stopped here, but I kept going because I felt liberated to fool him like this, which only added to the problems.
Here is where things got so ridiculous he couldn’t have possibly believed me (or so I thought), going on about how I got a CS:GO knife (Karambit Doppler) and saying how I would go in “enemy spotted” (quote from Counter-Strike), or how I would dress up like the Spy from Team Fortress 2, or how I would unrealistically hijack a plane and go, and I quote, “ALALALALALA ALLAHU ACKBAR”. Making these “jokes” I had no idea that this would be taken as seriously and as far as it did, because in all honesty it is ridiculous.
But if THAT wasn’t enough to brush off as ridiculous, I then stated how I was going to go to Johnny Rocket’s and order a milkshake and fries and dress myself in it, adding in how it could be an insanity defense jokingly, and how I would take a train and make it go off the rails like a “crazy train”. I then ended it off by finally getting tired of the joke and insulting him for taking it seriously up to that point, telling him how I had been fucking with him since the beginning, as I knew who had did it and had proof of Brandon doing so. Whether or not Bludgeons did give the pics to her boyfriend is beyond me, but he still posted them, ultimately a bigger no-no than just handing the pictures out.
I continue to insult him on his behavior and on how he fell for my ruse, fed up with all the accumulated shit I had been taking over this, then commenting on how I knew the private messages would be made public in thread, which it was.
At this point, it was pretty clear that Zander was upset, so I finished off the conversation giving a shout-out to everyone he was showing it to.
Which is where we are at today.
For convenience purposes, given that the conversation is posted above, I am omitting the screenshots in her replies to save space.
Now, I have several things to address regarding Bludgeon’s post on this whole situation, and I will be going in order from the top of her post down to the bottom addressing the points she raises.
I would first like to start this off by issuing a direct apology to Bludgeons. In no way, shape or form did I mean any of the things I stated. The same things would have been stated if someone else’s name would have been thrown out, unfortunately it was just a little more personal given our past history. We used to be friends, even if we have grown distant, and no amount of grief caused would make me want to seek killing you out. I talk big, but in no way would I have the power nor skill to be able to pull off something like that.
I am sorry. I do not expect forgiveness, I fucked up and I am owning up to it. I cannot take away the things I said, but I assure I mean you no harm. It was a lapse of judgement.
Now back onto the post itself: the beef between me and Brandon is completely one-sided. I have tried reaching out to him on several occasions to try and make peaceful resolve between us but to no avail.
This is not to say I have not sought out causing trouble with him in the past, and when I see myself get shit on, I do shit back, but for a long time now I have not been the one starting these altercations. I tried to end them, but my efforts were in vain. If it is of any consolation, I never wanted us to be in this situation, I wanted to be friends, and I apologize for the grief caused.
The next point is one that I hear about a lot, and it is one that I have been waiting to talk about: a drawfag (who’s name shall remain anonymous) did send out her nude pictures to another drawfag, who was later passed to my ex-girlfriend and drawfag Sloth (@hq-censoredgal) which was later passed on to me. I had asked what to do with the picture and whether or not I should post it to thread, and she told me to do it. I censored the picture and posted it, and the backlash that followed makes me regret the decision today. I felt remorse for what I had done a thread later and apologized for doing it, deleting the pictures, but what’s done is done, and nothing I did could take away the pain. After that, I had no intention of posting another picture of a drawfag again, seeing how devastating it can be to the person.
I am sorry. I have failed.
This next point I really don’t understand if we are talking about the same ex, because it was not like we had a huge fight for our break-up, it just sort of died. However, granted, this was a long time ago, and I do not remember comparing anyone or being a general dick, so I could be at fault, and if I said anything to upset her I would like to apologize.
Now here is where things start getting shady. The meet-up was called off. Simply put, she said she couldn’t make it. I thought to myself that it was no biggie, after all given that we were such good friends I’m certain that if there was an issue that she’d bring it up, right? Apparently not.
Here is the whole conversation regarding the matter of the cheesecake. Her birthday was coming up and I had wanted to get her something special for it, more than a drawing because that’s what happens all the time with drawfags. She mentioned that she liked cheesecake where I got excited because I also like cheesecake and that there is a Cheesecake Factory here where I could buy one for her. She said she’d have to see what was happening before receiving anything, where I responded that I would hand my gift in person (to make it more meaningful) and buy her a cheesecake. However, there is no declination here. There is also no guilt tripping. We eventually just said goodnight to each other and that was the end. So why would Bludgeons lie about not only declining my offer, but there being any instance of guilt-tripping?
Could it be because she’s ALSO IN ON MY PHOTOS BEING POSTED?
Well, here is an excerpt of our conversation two days later, about the “shenanigans” with Marc in thread.
Here’s the part which stuck out the most:
Now, it’s already been proven that Marc had, or at least had saved them from someone else, so why would she lie like this if all the evidence at the time had pointed to him?
Further questioning held this response:
Zander lied, but he didn’t do it? Seems kind of fishy, considering how good of friends Brandon and Zander are, but what makes even less sense is how quick Bludgeons was to completely turn attention away from the discussion. Could it be that Zander earlier had in fact be telling the truth and that Bludgeons was the one to give Marc my pictures?
It would make sense, given they have shitposted before together, resulting in their permanent bans from several Skype Groups for their misbehavior:
But what went so wrong in our relationship to not only do this to me, but spread lies of the situation? That I do not know, but the reasoning is there.
But let’s continue on with the rest of the post for now:
Judging by Bludgeon’s reaction to the “break up” joke, it can be concluded that she either took that part too seriously, or realized it was a joke. She then insists her innocence.
Another problem with that entire group of people is that they think they are invincible because nobody can prove anything while they are under anon or plotting privately with one another. But fortunately enough, each of them has lied enough for any possibility to be true, and Bludgeons has already been proven to be a liar, making her innocence looked feigned on height of other problems she has caused over the years.
From screenshot number 2 on her post (which cuts off the all caps) the only thing that would imply me being angry would be me saying that I’m “riled up”. Not only is this unbelievable because who in an angry mindset would use vocabulary such as that, given evidence of my previous blow-up with Zander, but the dialogue up until the all capped part is completely calm and collected.
Another thing which Bludgeons pointed out to this being obviously fake is that I have never visited her. When we had made plans to meet, we were going to meet in Japantown in San Francisco and venture around the shops and restaurants. So why after reading this would she continue to take it so seriously? More on that later.
Other than the obligatory ALL CAPS sentence, there is literally nothing which would imply I’m sperging out. “…and basically say he’s gonna shank me.” She read “ching chong china” with a straight-face and believed it?
Continuing to use one of her boyfriend’s favorite insults to my character, she continues to call me a sperg, saying I’m angry, and that I am going to stab her on April 3rd. Understandable as April 3rd may be, given it was the “tomorrow” at the time, I did not say a specific date. A minor correction, but this post needs every bit it can get.
If I were truly rageful, full of anger, how would I reasonably think of the repercussions of my actions? Also, “greasy person”? I am not quite sure where that is being brought up in my post. To end it off, she gives a nice ad hominem saying that I am projecting, which really builds the argument well.
Then, she posts a few more screenshots, neglecting to point out the things stated at the end, such as how I stated it was a joke and that I was getting Zander back, and instead decides to end it on this note:
At least she made notice to my statement that I said I was joking. But what she is doing here is using herd mentality using her friends (who are more likely than not in on the situation) and followers to make me a Pariah within the community, without having a platform on which to defend myself (she had made it impossible for me to reblog her post in anyway, this I am forced to make my own post in retort). I know I am not the most well-liked drawfag in the community, mostly because I speak out against her and her friends’ behavior to others, and she realizes this and is using it to have me outcasted. And to make matters worse, she says she has contacted my school over this, where understandable, but unnecessary given not long before making this post, I was able to have a nice and civilized discussion with another drawfag, Bagman (@spacesack), in which we were able to come to a reasonable conclusion and understanding of one another after engaging in a heated environment, so it is not like we couldn’t have talked about this before hand, like how she messaged me about the “shenanigans” in thread.
This has been a long time coming; months of harassment has lead up to this decision, one I’m sure many are going to be happy with, but I simply just can’t take this kind of abuse anymore.
I am leaving the drawfag community.
I have never been so disgusted by what cruelties can persist here: the betrayal of friends, the constant lying, the harassment, the stalking, the abuse, and the lack of compassion for one another. These people get away with hurting others all the time, the same people we all know by name, and nothing gets done about it. We let them do it. We let them continue to create this unhealthy, toxic environment and poison anyone who comes in, and drive away anyone who disagrees. I wish I could have done more to help, to create a fun place where the playground bullies don’t rule, and where everyone can have a good time with some banter thrown in, and not constant personal beefs and attacks and shitposting. But things will never change, at least not for a long time.
In conclusion:
I messed up. Big time. We all know it, including me. I can apologize as much as I want, but it won’t change the facts that what I did was wrong and stupid, and I’m tired of being wrong and stupid.
I’d like to apologize to Bludgeons for this even been started in the first place, and for what I said. I’d like to believe you didn’t have anything to do with my pictures being posted, because I thought our friendship at least mattered that much. But I’m sorry that you were even involved at all, and I’m more sorry that I scared you. I wished we could have only talked about it first before escalating things to such a high level, and I’m not just saying that because of the guilt I hold or for the repercussions to come from my actions, I’m saying it because I respect you. I care about you, even if we’ve grown distant. You were my friend, and like a sister to me, and I had to go fuck it all up again, huh? Guess that’s just my lot in life. Most of what I’ve said here I wish I could have talked more privately with you first, because it’s not fair to you. There’s not a whole lot of good that’s gonna come from this other than my leaving, and everyone is gonna leave this whole situation with a bitter taste in their mouth. Deep down, I think we all can be good people if we try; for others, like me, it’s just hard, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a good person to you.
I’d like to apologize to Zander, because even if he did fuck with me, that was no reason to bite back. What I said was hurtful, same for as I’ve said with Bludgeons, and at heart I know you’re a good guy in there, and I’m sorry we couldn’t stay friends.
I’d like to apologize to the others mentioned, Espec, Bagman, Sloth, and any others I may have missed, for involving you like this in this whole shitty situation I once again started. You all have your reasons to dislike me, and I’m glad I won’t be around any longer to create more.
And lastly, I’d like to apologize to Marc. It’s a shame things between us had soured so much that we couldn’t work out, and that we couldn’t become friends; I always thought we’d work well together. But, of all the things you’ve done to me, I can forgive you. I’ve done nasty things back. Worse things. I’m scum, you were right. But hopefully you don’t have to worry about me anymore.
I’d like to close off on a rebuttal to an accusation Bludgeons gave to me at the beginning of her post, calling me a sociopath. I may act stupid, my judgement may cloud, I may say terrible things and act like a terrible person, but at least I can show remorse. And that’s what separates me from a sociopath.
I’m sorry, and goodbye.
(Bludgeon’s post: http://jiggycomrade.tumblr.com/post/142169066890/concerning-thattriangleman-aka-yv-triangle-guy)
