i was left to my own devices

bell. thayer bell. twenty-five rings on the inside. lover of people, places, and things. the duck walking around with the sailor suit and the squeaky voice, yelling at a cloud. thinks skim milk and white bread are strictly for weenies. can you pls tell daisy to call me back. thanks! mishka mushka, mickey mouse!

[hummelises-blog]

Man, at least you try and burn off the cupcakes. I just like, wait for the day that I wake up and am unable to walk because my thighs turned into balloons overnight. Cha chaing reall smooth counts as cardio? If so, I’m totally in.

That was the most intense story I’ve ever heard. Hercules better watch out for you, Wonderboy.

[thayerbell-blog]

I DO.  But it’s only because I actually like doing it?  If I wasn’t into working out, it would never happen.  And I’d be a blob, but I’d be a happy blob.  DO YOU WANNA DO THE CHA CHA SLIDE WITH ME?  LET’S TAKE IT BACK NOW, Y’ALL.

...you’re totally a girl after my heart right now, jsyk.

[thayerbell-blog]

LOOK ALIVE, PARTY PEOPLE.

[felixkhalil-blog]

It’s a tough burden to be this hot. But, I’m sure you share that feeling. I’ll have to get you a pass to the Felix show. It’s pretty incredible. Like a soulful experience for the mind and body. 

Bella. She earned it for the Tequila recommendations and has kept it ever since. I’ll take it. Any stamp is a good stamp if it isn’t a tramp stamp.

Name your flower and I’ll supply. That’s a promise.

[thayerbell-blog]

IS IT?  I can only imagine how, like, exhausting it can be to be you, and all.  Having to look at your reflection, dealing with perfection, gah.  A living nightmare.  You’re a hero among men.

Bella?  I can see that.  She can gladly share the title with me.

DAISIES PLS.

[nolanlasko-deactivated20160414]

I’m not exactly Irish but, considering what day it is, I think I’m going to have to stop by the liquor store and pick myself up some Jameson as soon as I’m done with work. 

[thayerbell-blog]

...wait.  Do you have to actually be Irish to properly celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?  HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS ALL WRONG?

Do you know how many butts I pinched yesterday?

...none, actually, ‘cause that would be a dick move and I’m not that dude.  BUT PEOPLE PINCHED MINE EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING GREEN.

(Not that I’m complaining.  LBR.)

[gabpezold-blog]

I don’t really mind living alone, but I have to admit, I do kind of miss having my brothers around when there’s a spider as big as the one currently locked in my bathroom. Send help?

[thayerbell-blog]

OH COME ON, SPIDERS AREN’T THAAAAAT BAD.

Ok, ok, I say that, bUT ON THE REAL:

Drop a bowl on it.  Strike a match.  Run far, far, far away.  He owns the joint now, Abs.  Hate to break it to ya.

[thayerbell-blog]

LOOK ALIVE, PARTY PEOPLE.

[felixkhalil-blog]

I know, I look damn amazing. Alas, Disney is a prude and won’t let me ditch the shirt under the vest. But, I’ll deal. Wouldn’t want to send everyone into a frenzy over my hotness.

You’ve got the Khalil stamp of approval. Congratulations. Only one other person in this park has earned that.

We’re all a little insane, and insanity breeds genius, right? You’re not going to be expecting flowers with this beer, are you?

[thayerbell-blog]

I can’t even argue this, look at you.  A true gift.  You’re just gonna have to show off what’s under the vest during a Disney After Dark thing, yeah?  Hit up Downtown Disney and rock it.

WHO?  You got the Bell stamp of approval a while back, but pretty much anyone with good vibes and a good smile does, sO it’s probably not as much of an honor, but i still think it’s pretty rad.

Only if you’re willing to bring me flowers.  Which would be very gentlemanly of you, bro.

[chandrapatel-blog]

You can try.

Hmm, you just won yourself some cuteness points, Twinkerbell.

[thayerbell-blog]

I’ll try my best and it won’t turn out anything like Coldplay likes to make me think it will.

Yeah?  I’ll take it.  Even if you do not want to see me in any sort of Tink get-up.  It’d take every single cuteness point I’ve ever gotten and set it ablaze.

[hummelises-blog]

OMG, SPRINKLES. At one point, it was like, my dream to work there. But not as like, a full-time career but as a job. The cupcake ATM is the most amazing thing ever invented. I make the most delicious sprinkle if you’d like to find that out for yourself.

You know, as much as kids bug me, there should never be a kid crying in Disneyland. I feel like it’s sacrilegious. 

[thayerbell-blog]

IT’S SO MAGIC?  I mean, I’d totally work there in, like, a freakin’ heartbeat, but then I’d get fired because I’d eat all the inventory and THEN what would they do?  And then what would I do?  Do you know how much surfing it would take to burn off all the cupcakes?  Or, like, a billion hours cha cha-ing real smooth in the Donald suit.  IDK IF I CAN CHANCE ALL THAT FOR CUPCAKES.

Who am I kidding?  Sign me up.

...especially for the whole, like, delicious sprinkle thing.  I’m in.

One time these two kids like TRAMPLED PAST ME to get to Splash Mountain (tbh I didn’t even care bc, like, I would have done the same thing?  It’s Splash Mountain), and Donald went CRASHING DOWN and I had to actually hold his head still so that I didn’t give every kid within a 50 foot radius nightmares that would see them through years of therapy.  I’m a hero, basically, is what I’m getting at.  You’re welcome, kids.  No tears in mY castle.

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

LINCOLN: I'M DONE WITH YOU. GOOD NIGHT.

THAYER: LOL MY ASS YOU ARE

THAYER: I BROUGHT TACOS

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: can dicks even kiss

LINCOLN: dUcks

THAYER: I'm sorry Freud, what was that?

THAYER: I couldn't hear you when you slipped.

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: wow you're making me rely on my not even real son for comfort

THAYER: uh no

THAYER: donald duck is going to kiss your boo boo.

THAYER: that sounded so weird pretend that didn't sound so weird

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: A KID TRIPPED ME AND IT HURT PLS FIX IT

THAYER: DID THEY TRIP GOOFY?

THAYER: WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE

THAYER: where's max

THAYER: maximillian will take that punk dOWN

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: HOCUS POCUS ETC ETC

LINCOLN: go with clothed

LINCOLN: but you can smooch my scraped knee if you're feeling really desperate

THAYER: WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR KNEE AND HOW

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: do you just travel naked often?

THAYER: i was thinking a trench coat with nothing underneath

THAYER: show up at your door and it's like

THAYER: TA-DA!

[thayerbell-blog]

Allium & will you cook it for me?

ALLIUM: What's the best thing you can cook?

I MAKE THE BEST PIZZA.  I know that everyone says they make the best pizza, but when I say it, it’s, like, the real deal, okay.  It’s basically the only thing I really can cook, but I can flip it up in there and sing, like, On an Evening in Roma by Dean Martin at the same time and EVERYTHING.

I’d be happy to cook it for you.  It’ll change your life probably.  Or not, but you never know!

[thayerbell-blog]

BABE LINCOLN ✉ THAYERAPY

LINCOLN: omg no

LINCOLN: but you could come over tonight if you wanted

THAYER: clothed or nah?

[casperbell-deactivated20160413]

Rotating is cool, we can do that. Now we just have to pick out a kid, you think it’s like going to the pound or whatever? You walk in and pick one?

WE’RE BOTH WINNERS and almost dads. This is a big moment for us, dude.

[thayerbell-blog]

IS IT THAT EASY?  Is there paperwork?  Do you think I have to do a blood draw yOU KNOW HOW I GET AROUND NEEDLES!!!!!!

we’re gonna be such good dads.  Can’t wait to water him and take him shopping for baseball gloves.

[thayerbell-blog]

Calla Lily, Poinsettia, Oxlip

CALLA LILY: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA TROLL ME.  I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEEEEED.  SHE WAS LOOKIN’ KINDA DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD.  WELL THE YEARS STOP COMING AND THEY DON’T START COMING, BACK TO THE ROADS AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNIN’.  DIDN’T MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN, YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB.  SO MUCH TO DO, SO MUCH TO SEE, SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH TAKIN’ THE BACK STREETS?  YOU’LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON’T GO, YOU’LL NEVER SHINE IF YOU DON’T GLOW.  HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON, GO PLAY.  HEY NOW, YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR.  GET THE SHOW ON.  GET PAID.  AND ALLLLL THAAAAT GLITTERS IS GOOOOOLD, ONLY SHOOTIN’ STAAAAARS BREAK THE MOOOOOOLD.  IT’S A COOL PLACE AND THE SAND GETS COLDER.  YOU’RE BUNDLED UP NOW WAIT ‘TIL YOU GET OLDER.  THE METEOR MEN BEG TO DIFFER, JUDGIN’ BY THE HOLE IN THE SATELLITE PITCHER.  THE ICE WE SKATE IS GETTIN’ PRETTY THIN.  THE WATER’S GETTIN’ WARM SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL SWIM.  MY WORLD’S ON FIRE, HOW ‘BOUT YOURS?  THAT’S THE WAY I LIKE IT AND I’LL NEVER GET BORED.  HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON, GO PLAY!  HEY NOW, YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR.  GET THE SHOW ON, GET PAID.  AND ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOOOOOOOLD ONLY SHOOTIN’ STAAAAARS... SOMEBODY ONCE ASKED COULD I SPARE SOME CHANGE FOR GAS I NEED TO GET MYSELF AWAY FROM THIS PLACE.  I SAID YEP!  WHAT A CONCEPT!  I COULD USE A LITTLE FUEL MYSELF AND WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE CHAAAAAAANGE.  WELL!  THE YEARS STOP COMIN’ AND THEY DON’T START COMIN’, BACK TO THE ROADS AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNIN’.  DIDN’T MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN, YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB.  SO MUCH TO DO, SO MUCH TO SEE, SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH TAKIN’ THE BACKSTREETS?  YOU’LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON’T GO (GO!) YOU’LL NEVER SHINE IF YOU DON’T GLOW. HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON, GO PLAY.  HEY NOW, YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR.  GET THE SHOW ON.  GET PAID.  AND ALLLLL THAAAAT GLITTERS IS GOOOOOLD, ONLY SHOOTIN’ STAAAAARS BREAK THE MOOOOOOLD...

POINSETTIA: Favorite holiday dish?

DEFINITELY THE CHRISTMAS COOKIE PLATTER.  is that even a question?  there is no greater dish in the kitchen cabinet, my friend.

OXLIP: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?

I’ve seen enough Nicholas Sparks movies in my day to know that’s not a good idea!  but just because it’s not a good idea doesn’t mean it’s not the right idea!  That’s literally how, like, 98% of those movies end.  long distance relationships and death.

If neither one of us bite it at the end, I think I could be down with it tbh.