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Call me Nic, BitWynn, or Wynn || Any/All pronouns || AroAce and Professional BitsexualTM || 20s, unfortunately || What the fuck is even happening anymore

[the-2nd-random-kid]

Hello, i am making a very long post about incorrect quotes me and my dnd group characters would make except all of the quotes are from slimecicle and slimecicle videos because i am bored. Expect irregular updates idk

@juicemachineforever and @kyrostheking-blog feel free at add on or something idk eat a dick--

"I'm going on a hunger strike, against GOD."

-Marcie, literally all the time.

"There comes a time when we all face our demons, but why is mine so big."

-Marcie, after pissing Nyx off one too many times

"I completely disagree with everything established in the Geneva convention. And I'm going to violate it right now."

-Curi, just in general.

"You fool! Though physically we are close together, mentally we are lightyears apart. You cannot hurt me, even at this distance! Because of my personal shield. Before you were even born, I was already formulating this plan--"

-Faenor gloating behind Pennig, and immediately getting finnessed by a random attack behind him.

Some guy Curi met before: hey, I've seen your face before!

Curi, cocking a gun to some guy who called Curi short or baby before: yeah, everyone has nightmares.

[the-2nd-random-kid]

"I'm fine, I'm fine... No, I'm not fine-- I'M BABY--"

-Curi, finally going thru the 5 stages of acceptance that he is, in fact, Baby.

"I'm going to Pudi Pudi you into your fucking grave."

-Marcie, getting the final hit on an enemy

"I've been dying for the last 6 hours like an absolute fool, but I just got my first fucking tool!"

-Curi, finally having a weapon that isn't a fucking gun.

"Watch out for the horses! No wait, those are chickens."

-Pennig, warning passers by of the Horde

[the-2nd-random-kid]

"Wibbly, wobbly, we are one-- this banana I have is now a gun."

-Marcie, putting on Disguise Self and dispelling polymorph on the gun he definitely didn't steal from Curiosity

-Beatrice "Redback" Cornwallis.

[beemovieerotica]

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[elodieunderglass]

👍

[mousenoseopera]

The ocean is scary.

[ominous-signs]

-

[mtxyqmpsfqklt]

[presentablemichael]

[marvelous-bamf]

congratulations to matt murdock for being the subject of the two best tweets ever written about a comic book character by their own editor/writer. king shit

[winged-void]

posting is a stress response

[starlightxraven]

Nobody needs AI to search the Internet, court says in ruling against Google

Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry.

[appalachian-werewolf]

"Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry."

It fucking better.

[mrsjdavis]

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[bumblebeerror]

This is why art is important, in case you were wondering.

[soundlessdragon]

And kids will be so productive if you make it a game. I bet at least 50% of the kids who met this sculpture went and intentionally hunted for litter to feed it.

[cypherdrgon]

Phm from Adrian's perspective is just what if you were Penelope and Odysseus came home but he also brought a jellyfish and keeps begging you to build a fish tank for the jellyfish and make jellyfish food for the jellyfish and youre an ancient Greek whos never seen a jellyfish and you cant even comprehend how your going to do it but youre going to because if you dont Odysseus may kill himself. And also the jellyfish can do like. Witchcraft.

[wizardelf]

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[sasuke-offical]

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

[monchursouls]

What

[rat-in-the-grain]

What

[endofalltim]

[flork-of-cows-official]

[flork-of-cows-official]

[youthincare]

people should be allowed to have low ambition, and also be able to feed a family on the salary of a cashier at a convenience store.

[corrucyst]

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[official-lucifers-child]

so make it

Cunt

[andrikq]

I feel like this is something @theshitpostcalligrapher would write.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

no no this one is a @carpe-aurore, I do chunkier scripts and she does a copperplate that would slay this

[carpe-aurore]

:3

[audible-smiles]

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

[outofcontextanimash]

[monkeywiki]

what did they do

[nastyukulele]

What they had to do.

[yo-its-matt]

[typingwithmyhandstied]

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife