[tajrishgp]

[anxeious]

playing hard to want

[havingapoemwithyou]

I Am So Depressed I Feel Like Jumping in the River Behind My House but Won’t Because I’m Thirty-Eight and Not Eighteen by Sandra Cisneros

[xanadontit]

[neverwonderneverremember]

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

[heylabodega]

Toddlers

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Not always there when you call

Not always on time

[the-b-in-apt-23]

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Not always there when you call

Not always on time

[catchymemes]

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Air travel is a miracle and a 100% pure trash experience

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Yeah I can’t breathe the air and it’s hot and I’m afraid to eat a vegetable but I get to see Aimee Mann perform all of Bachelor No 2 soon so I guess I’ll fight through

[i-am-the-oyster]

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Is this fun? Are we having fun?

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Javier Bardem is having fun!

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Is this fun? Are we having fun?

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Why has Tom Cruise been a large (ish) part of the Paris Olympic closing ceremonies and the World Cup final?

[the-b-in-apt-23]

Is Robbie Williams’ hair like that on purpose?