Obessive Fangirl

[fergzillar]

Some dude: Hey bro you got the time?

Me: Yeah it’s fuckinuuuuuh [pulls a cat out of the inside of my jacket and looks it dead in the eyes] about 6pm

[lumpawaroospaceprincess-moved-d]

Context:

[empirextress]

I thought this was some shitpost and I just accepted it

[the-cat85-blog]

Scorpius @ Draco: Albus's dad is acting like a real dick to him.

Draco: haha NICE.

Draco: *Crosses ''Better parent than Potter'' off bucket list*

[ask-the-multishipper-blog]

oh god what did i do

IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT

[nyfian-deactivated20150105]

HOLY FUCKING COW.

[carverly]

OKAY IT’S TRUE

[lookingforpack-deactivated20181]

WHAT

[imivi]

???

[kittyluvr69]

I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

WHAT HOW

[daxin-freeborns-news-feed]

I’ve been wondering what message it sends for awhile now, apparently it’s random?

[kynisme-blog]

oh?

OH

[ohcaptainmycaptain1918]

#lmfao no way #why do i reblog these things #hahaha #urban legends #tumblr myths #im so gullible 

nO FUCKING WAY THIS JUST

[followpearlpinesnotthisblog]

gUYS NO JOKE I GOT “motor oil” IN MY ASK BOX I’M SCREAMINH

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

I HOPE U GUYS DON’T LIE 

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

THIS SHIT FUCKING WORKS WTF

[stach3nscarf3n]

you’re shitting me

HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORL-

[blustrology-deactivated20180312]

i wanna see what happens

[annotateee]

it looks fun i guess

[princxssluci2]

I summon the ask god to my inbox

[princxssluci2]

Yeet, it works

[s-n-o-w-deactivated20170702]

If this works I’ll I will never doubt tumblr again

[cactuscup]

this better work

[plcnetpeebles-blog]

i swr if this works imma scream

[deactivated7517-deactivated2017]

I swear

[octoblets]

?????????

[babybeartm-blog]

pls

[waterdnp]

ha i seem to remember this not working 

[probably-ghostly]

This won’t fucking work

[probably-ghostly]

*SCREECHING*

[reptired-moved-away]

Me whenever I get a message

[unholytrinityandfriends]

Funny. I don’t think it’ll work for me 😂

[unholytrinityandfriends]

Holy shit nevermind 😂

[tuggeriisms]

nEVERMIND IT WORKS I WAA PROVEN WRONG

[nikowldrabbles]

Lol the other thing like this I reblogged didn’t work

[nikowldrabbles]

D: D: D:

[saucey-and-spicey-deactivated20]

Ha! Urban Tumblr legends never work on me!

[flowersanddewdrops]

😩😤😩

[cometcrumbs-deactivated20180910]

I hope I get the most random thing ever

[itsfortnite-blog]

this prolly won’t work ,,

[itsfortnite-blog]

NIGGA

[horseracingsimulator]

You called me a bad word :(

[silverderp098]

Not gonna work, bruh

[jenrayenstone-deactivated201801]

Will It work? Possibly. :)

[leelee0535-deactivated20190403]

Who dares show me this bull shit

[sweetest-honeybee]

There is no way this works!I wanna see this!

[milomeepit]

I’m still waiting on my Spencer Shay from the other legend. No way this is gonna happen. 😂

[milomeepit]

GUYS

[eloiscbridgerton]

The First 10 Years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

[acentric]

What I picture when people say "I don't swing that way":

So, the heterosexuals are on the swingset, swinging back and forth like most people do.

And then there are the homosexuals swinging, like, side to side or something.

The bisexuals are sort of alternating between the two, and the pansexuals are just twisting their swing up in a knot and crashing into everyone like “fuck the police i do what i want”

And then the asexuals are just chilling out in the sandbox all alone, like: HEY GUISE, LOOK AT THE CASTLE I MADE GUISE, LOOK GUISE IT HAS A MOTE. GUISE. LOOK.

[the-cat85-blog]

person: but if you're asexual AND aromantic, what DO you like?

me: money

[dogsandnerdythings]

Reblog if you utterly and without hesitation support gay rights

It’ll mean a lot to my friend, who’s having a tough time with bullies lately.

[soiknowwhentoduck]

Instant reblog, every time I see this

[daddy-drarry]

No worries! We are here

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

find out your shitpost URL

birthday january: nut february: dong march: giraffe april: gogu may: anime june: jokes july: aaaaaaaaa august: police september: shit october: kinkshame november: kawaii december: fuck

first letter of first name a-c: smoker d-f: fucker g-i: succ j-m: puncher n-q: shamer r-u: phobe v: ender wxyz: eater

day of birthday 1-10: 69 11-20: 420 21-28: 666 29-31: 184847388467374

[harrypottersmut]

Fuck fucker 69. Really?

[daddy-drarry]

giraffe puncher 69. Seems legit 

[the-cat85-blog]

Police Smoker 69. Makes sense

[highbeeans]

Dumb Ways to Die (Supernatural Version)

Set your archangel brother on fire, Poke a hellhound with your burning desire, Eat tacos, that’s out of date, Use your private parts as Leviathan bait. Dumb ways to die, So many dumb ways to die, Dumb ways to da-ha-hiiiie, So many dumb ways to die. Dress up like a moose during hunting season. Disturb a nest of vamps for no good reason. Stand around the edge of Lucifer’s cage. Lose a bet and add 50 years to your age. Live in a town with Croatoan virus. They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly, Dumbest ways to die, The dumbest ways to die, Dumbest ways to da-ha-hiiiie, So many dumb, So many dumb ways to die.

(x)

—————————————————

I simply could not resist. This song has been stuck in my head for the past how many days so I guess my mind decided to do something productive with it. My writing abilities can only do so much. If someone out there can actually do the whole song, I would probably sell my soul to you.

[epochalys-archive-blog]

Set your archangel brother on fire,

Poke a hellhound with your burning desire,

Eat tacos, that’s out of date,

Use your private parts as Leviathan bait.

Dumb ways to die,

So many dumb ways to die,

Dumb ways to da-ha-hiiiie,

So many dumb ways to die.

Sell your soul to save your son,

But then his brother dies and so he’s done,

Teach yourself, how to fly,

Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie,

Dumb ways to die,

So many dumb ways to die,

Dumb ways to da-ha-hiiiie,

So many dumb ways to die.

Invite a psycho-killer inside,

scratching your big brother’s Chevrolet ride,

Being totally bat crap insane,

And then tempting a wraith with your brain,

Dumb ways to die,

So many dumb ways to die,

Dumb ways to da-ha-hiiiie,

So many dumb ways to die.

Keep a wendigo as a pet,

Trusting Zachariah the first time you met,

Pissing off, the garrison,

By calling angels dick in comparison,

Dumb ways to die,

So many dumb ways to die,

Dumb ways to da-ha-hiiiie,

So many dumb ways to die.

Dress up like a moose during hunting season.

Disturb a nest of vamps for no good reason.

Stand around the edge of Lucifer’s cage.

Lose a bet and add 50 years to your age. 

Live in a town with Croatoan virus. 

They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly,

Dumbest ways to die,

The dumbest ways to die,

Dumbest ways to da-ha-hiiiie,

So many dumb,

So many dumb ways to die.

[highbeeans]

#WHEEZING. YOU DID IT. I LOVE YOU. THIS IS THE ACTUAL BEST.

[rainaround]

Draco is the type of person that relentlessly takes food from Harry’s plate, but will slap anyone who comes near his food.

“But Draco, you always take my food! Just a little peice of toast.”

“Harry, if you come any closer I will stupefy you and leave you in the middle of the atrium.”

[the-cat85-blog]

What if humans were aliens like we originally came from a different planet but over the years we’ve forgotten?

[queenofthyme]

Draco dying his hair light blue

Harry can’t stopstaring. His breakfast is forgotten. Malfoy’s hair is blue.

“Harry! Harry? Whatare you – “

“Malfoy.” Harryanswers Hermione without looking away.

Ron pauses midway through a mouth of potato.“What?”

“Malfoy,” Harryexplains again, “He – Look what he did.”

Hermione’s eyes remainfixed on Harry. “Don’t you think you need to stop obsessing over him? The waris over. We’re all on the same side.”

“No, look what he didto his hair!” Harry all but shouts. MALFOY’S HAIR IS BLUE.

Hermione and Ronfinally follow Harry’s gaze to the Slytherin table to Draco Malfoy, blue hairand all.

“Bloody hell.”

“That is surprising,”Hermione admits.

“Maybe someone cursedhim?” Ron suggests.

“I hope not,” Hermionefrowns. “Like he doesn’t have enough to deal with – his mother is being retriedthis week.”

Harry’s chestconstricts. “That’s this week?”

“Yes, Harry. I thoughtyou were the one stalking him?”

“Well he has beensadder than usual. He’s been eating cereal since last Friday which is odd as healmost always goes for – what?” Harry stops at the looks Hermione and Ron are giving him.

Hermione shakes herhead. “I was being facetious, Harry. I can’t believe you’re stalking himagain.”

“I’m not stalking,”Harry clarifies, focusing his attention solely on Hermione and Ron to prove hispoint. Which is difficult when MALFOY’S HAIR IS BLUE. “I’m just observant.”

Hermione smiles wickedlyand Harry already knows he’s stuffed before she opens her mouth. “Okay, thenwhat do I usually eat for breakfast?”

Harry tries to eye herplate discreetly but she already has her hand covering it. He desperately triesto remember what she’d been eating only seconds earlier. “Uh….uh…”

“That’s what Ithought.”

“I’m not stalkingMalfoy,” Harry tries again.

Ron sniggers into hismorning omelette. “Sure, mate.”

Hermione rests herhead in her hands (revealing her breakfast of poached eggs). “Why don’t you goover there and ask him?”

“Ask him what?”

Hermione closes hereyes in obvious exasperation. “Why hishair is blue.”

“I can’t – “

“Mate, just go,”Interrupts Ron, now with a mouthful of tomato. “You’re going to be like thisall day if you don’t.”

Malfoy looks up insurprise as Harry approaches, his cereal spoon hovering above his bowl. “Potter?”

“Malfoy.” Harry nods.He tries not to stare so openly at Malfoy’s hair but…it’s BLUE.

Malfoy drops his spoonand pushes the cereal away. He stares at Harry suspiciously. “Are you lost?”

“No, I – why is yourhair blue?” Harry blurts out, unable to hold it in any longer.

One of Malfoy’s handsautomatically jumps to his hair, as if he’d forgotten the colour for a moment.After the initial surprise, Malfoy’s turns defensive. “You got a problem withit?” He asks.

“No, not at all. It’sjust – never mind. Forget I asked.” What was he thinking? What were Hermioneand Ron thinking sending him over here? He turns to leave.

“it’s poetic, Potter.”

Harry turns back toMalfoy. “Poetic?”

Malfoy shrugs, andlooks down into his cereal bowl. “I’m feeling blue. I dyed my hair to match. Itmade sense last night after the second bottle of firewhiskey.”

Harry considers this. “Yourmother?” He asks, softly.

“Yes,” Malfoy saysinto his cereal.

“Do you – I mean,would you – would it help if I came with you?” Oh Merlin, did Harry really just saythat?

Malfoy looks up,sharply. “Why would you want to do that?”

Harry feels his cheeksreddening. “Your mother saved my life,” he offers, which is true at least, but only a small part of his real motivation.

“Of course,” Malfoysays with a polite nod. Is Harry reading into it or does he seem…disappointed?

“And you mightneed…support.”

A small smile plays onthe corner of Malfoy’s mouth. “I have friends, Potter.”

“Right, I didn’t meanto say – it’s just – I’d like to be there. For both of you.”

Malfoy tilts his headand looks Harry over with a curious gaze. This only makes Harry blush harder.

“Okay,” Malfoy finallysays, “You can come.” He picks up his spoon and returns his attention to hiscereal.

Harry can’t stopstaring. His breakfast is forgotten. Malfoy’s hair is green.

“Go ask him, already.”

Malfoy looks up. Thistime he doesn’t seem surprised. “Potter. What brings you here?”

“You know what.”

Malfoy smirks. “Enlightenme.”

Harry stares at Malfoy’shair. “Why green?”

Malfoy shrugs. “Justfelt like it.”

Harry frowns. Hewonders whether Malfoy’s being entirely truthful. “That’s not very poetic,” hepoints out.

“His eyes are as greenas a fresh pickled toad,” Malfoy whispers.

Harry blinks,processing. “What?”

“His hair is as darkas a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, the hero who conqueredthe Dark Lord,” Malfoy continues with a shy smile. “Poetic enough for you?”

Harry feels himselfblushing again.

“Maybe I should havegone pink to match your face,” Malfoy suggests with a wink. Merlin, Harry mightmelt.

“You remembered the po– “

“I wrote the poem,”corrects Malfoy.

Harry frowns “But Ialways thought Ginny – “

Malfoy shakes hishead. “Nope.”

“Does that mean you –that you used to – “

Malfoy interrupts witha roll of his eyes. “Like you?”

Harry gulps. “Yeah.”

“I thought that wasobvious, Potter.”

Harry feels like hisknees might buckle at any moment. This is really happening. He runs a handthrough his hair nervously. “And now?” he asks.

Malfoy raises his eyebrows, a playful smirk on his lips. “I thought thatwas also obvious, Harry.”            

And just to be an infuriating bastard, Malfoy chooses this moment todust himself off and leave the Great Hall, with one last wink at Harry.

Harry wants to follow but he thinks his legs may have turned into jelly. Hehas to grip the table tightly just to keep himself standing.

Harry can’t stopstaring. Breakfast never stood a chance.  Malfoy’s hair is pink.

He doesn’t even botherto take a seat at his own table, instead heading straight over to the Slytherinside of the Great Hall.

Malfoy watches him ashe approaches with a smug smile. “Pot – “

Harry interrupts by leaningdown and smashing his mouth onto Malfoy’s, his hands reaching out to finally runthrough that gorgeous hair. The entire Great Hall is watching and Harry’s face ison fire, but none of that matters, because Draco Malfoy is kissing him back.

And his hair is bloodypink.

[otpprompts]

Person A is Person B’s guardian angel. As kids, they used to look out for each other and be best friends, but only B could see them and feel them. As B grows older, they believe A really was just a stupid imaginary friend and A is so upset, because they’ve been watching over B. One night A starts appearing in B’s dreams in tears, pleading them to please believe in them again, but B doesn’t believe it, saying to them “I don’t believe in fairy tales.” Cut to a few years later, B’s junior year of high school is getting rough, whether it’s mental issues, losing friends, home life, etc. As B’s trying to study and breaks down, they feel a hand on their shoulder and look up to see Person A, wings and all, whispering “Am I still an imaginary friend now?” And then Person B realizes; Person A was the same person who was the “new kid” in their high school, and they had become friends.

[the-cat85-blog]

I really want a story about a person who has always loved fantasy and then so how end up in some fantasy world a got in really well because she's read so many fantasy books

[rosesgaloree]

If you don’t have a crazy dancing Spider-Man gif on you blog then you’re doing it wrong.

[shitthehousessay]

Okay, I’m not going to stand here and listen to you accuse me of things I clearly did!

Slytherin being called out (via shitthehousessay)

[the-cat85-blog]

Slytherin and Hufflepuff Couple Moves into a New House Together

New Neighbor: Welcome to the neighborhood!

Hufflepuff: Thank you so much! It's so nice to meet you!

Slytherin: *silence*

Hufflepuff: *discretely nudges Slytherin with her elbow*

Slytherin: Oh! Um, yeah, ditto.

New Neighbor: Hey! Why don't you come over for dinner on Saturday night!

Hufflepuff: We'd love t--

Slytherin: I don't think so.

Hufflepuff & New Neighbor: ??????

Slytherin: It's not you!

Slytherin: I just hate having dinner...

Slytherin: With people.

Hufflepuff: *face palms*