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Wind-up Wafflepups and Yogurt Cats are great friends!

[the-crepe-cat]

Remaking intro!! I want to see if I'm comfortable merging various sideblogs into this one.

About:

Agender || He/him ll Saiun ll DID system ll Fictionkin ll Otherkin || Adult

I feel more like a cat than human. I don't get social cues very well. To me reality feels sort of like a dream with filters and my identity is some flowy thing.

I'll talk about my fictionkin and otherkin experiences, disability and mental health, my cat brother and other stuff. Sometimes I may post analysis or notes about consciousness or species I find interesting.

I mainly play Cookie Run (Kingdom, Tower of Adventures and Ovensmash), and Tomodachi Life.

Kins (in this blog):

Strawberry Crepe Cookie (Cookie Run)

Killua (Hunter x Hunter)

Neferpitou (Hunter x Hunter)

Little Johnny & Big Johnny (To Be Hero X)

Jett-senpai (Detective Precure)

Cat // Fox

Bramble Bat Cookie (Cookie Run Witch's Castle)

Questioning: A living fractal network (slime mold? but not exactly that either I dunno).

Sage of Truth (Cookie Run Kingdom)

Stained Nougat Cookie (Cookie Run Tower of Adventures)

Orthos (Merc Storia)

Sherbet Cookie (Cookie Run)

Tags:

the cat talks (< my thoughts and such) (previously used "the crepe talks")

best friend (< cat brother Nur)

plant friends (< plants I see often or plants that are in my garden)

our pics

our drawings

wafflepup reblogs

cookie categories (< categorizing the cookies in different Cookie Run games by themes)

denpa city (< Tomodachi Life island with denpa characters)

an alter likes / an alter wanted to say (< used when we're not sure who is fronting)

denpa log (< how I perceived reality today/if there were any particular changes I feel like noting for future me to track patterns)

Other blogs:

@angelbreadportal (portal to list of blogs)

Sideblogs I'm testing merging but may still use separately: @jettsenpai @angelsherbetcookie @analyzingcookies @bramblebatcookie

Sideblogs that stay fully separate: @ashadowbeing @akadenchu

[the-crepe-cat]

That's the whole problem of kinning a character and being like them irl.

Because everyone's gonna have their own interpretation of that character anyways. And people will always wonder what exactly do you mean. At best they'll treat you like what they think that character is and it'll match with what the author wrote and with what you found yourself in.

And I can't just write a list of things because I would be lacking nuance and I would be sharing things I don't want to share. Part of the point of using a character as a bridge is that someone can understand I am the way I am because of certain events and parallels to that character without be having tell them, especially when there's no specific simple label for it.

And for some reason being unable to explain my past is the one thing that makes me explode. Like I just cannot stand the fact all this trash pile was thrown into me (hey and good stuff too idk) and I just rot with it. Anyways. So that's what it is. Sorry if I sound too serious I'm not intending to.

[the-crepe-cat]

Tried one of those kinnie bingos... But they lack nuance, brought me back the feeling I get when I try to describe myself or why I hate personality quizes.

Sucks because I thought this would be an easy way to show what do I mean by "kinning to me also means I am like this character irl". But you can't just show complexity randomly like that without missing important info out. I made the bingo but had to make a list of the things I felt lack nuance or didn't feel good labels for me, and by that point it's a post that I feel is too long to actually share. Meh.

It counts that cause Killua is a pretty complex character too. Maybe with a simpler one it'll be better.

[the-crepe-cat]

Btw weird thing from today morning, while I was waking up I heard a young man's voice saying "hello?" and then fully woke up while I heard mom replying "hello Nur!" Nur being our cat friend.

She really said hello to the cat, but I heard the first "hello?" in my head. Anyways.

[the-crepe-cat]

Could draw a mini me :3

[angelbreadportal]

Talking about freeze, these are things I see during sleep paralysis, dreams, or alters in our did system, or myself, there's also hallucinations.

I have been drawing these things for years, especially trying to make a game with them, but freeze response is always in the way.

I drew this probably around a year ago. I'm also trying to recreate these things in Tomodachi Life.

Idk I just thought of sharing since I never finish it you know, I thought I should go ahead and share what I do have done! It's a step forward!

[the-crepe-cat]

It's happening again, I'm getting frozen, I have my switch full of videos from tomodachi life for the denpa log project, but I can't use the fricking pc to pass them, it's been probably a month? 2 months?

My alters want to do things but I'm just laying down. Start to not be able to go outside again.

So annoying.

[bimstown]

✨tamagotchi goobers✨

sticker sheet for july!!

available on my patreon until the end of this month :3

[the-crepe-cat]

On YouTube I see cute stuff, maybe some science videos and such.

BUT youtube has decided on recommending me this one TICK video. I open app and it's the first recommended short. I close app, hours pass, it sends me a NOTIF OF IT.

I go sleep, wake up, open app, ITS THERE.

ANYTHING I DO ITS THERE WTF STOP I DON'T WANNA SEE THE TICK VIDEO YT PLEASE LOL

[the-crepe-cat]

アイテムでミャオっちの色を変えてみました！ 色の種類がたくさんあるから、まだ見つけてない色もあるかも

Used items to change Meowtchi's colors! There's many options so there's probably some colors I haven't found yet

[sunni-bug]

Pool

[the-crepe-cat]

I've been thinking about this for a while, and decided from now on I may post in Japanese sometimes as well. English will still be my main language here, and if I post in Japanese I'll write in English bellow, but Japanese is still the language I'm most comfortable thinking in.

I mean the denpa log videos were already in Japanese and English, just I haven't updated that in forever.

[the-crepe-cat]

Jirachi ⭐

[the-crepe-cat]

Got this plushie as a present, it's a tamagotchi and it evolves if you flip it over, it's a very nice idea :3 showed it to my cat friend too

[the-crepe-cat]

Breakdown, messy post I'm sorry.

Tw animal death, different abuse mentions.

I have too many memories in my head that I don't know how to categorize. The least painful is mom telling how aunt used to make her baby bite me as a baby too until I'd bleed while saying her son was so cute making me bleed. And mom telling me she wanted it to stop it but she was told it was normal so she told herself maybe it is normal after all and let it happen.

Was that even a bad memory?

Just some months ago dad was being creepy again but I'm used to it. I'm so used to nobody caring I start wondering what is reality anymore. My parents. My boyfriend says good people exist, then please where????? He exists. It's enough. It's enough right so why do I feel I'm exploding? because I'm mentally ill? That's all? I'm just broken and that's it?

My beloved doggy being eaten by larvae because mom didn't want to ask help to save her.

Me crying for hours paralyzed in bed while hearing rhe guinea pig cry in pain from urine infection.

My other puppy having anesthesia to let her rest in peace while her head fell in a distorted way living things don't.

The rapes. The bullying. The neglect. The abuse. The lies. The normalizing. Everyone watching and doing nothing. Mom laughing watching horror movies saying "that's so like your dad!". The infections. The disease. The times they tried to kill me.

ALL OF THAT IS OVER. But but but but. There's still other things that make me feel I have to be on survival mode still. The system abandonment. Every time a doctor dismisses me I feel I'm going to burst like it's a bucket that's been overflown. The things some people still do make me question all the time "do I ask help now?" "is this one of those times I should have understood I needed help?"

I don't know how to explain it. It's like they put all their trash inside me. And then I feel gaslighted by everything. I can't tell what was what anymore, I know what happened I know the person admitted it but I don't know if it was actually THAT bad because they change later to better, so everytime I tell someone they try to understand the person who did it. They tell me "but it's getting better right?" "there's ups and downs". And I know exactly what I have to say, all I have to say is "little by little right? Things will get better". In the end it's always like I'm having an episode out of nowhere, puking my past all over. I don't know when I'm in danger anymore. When I need help anymore. I never knew anyways. I try to understand and it backfires every time.

If I die all that's gonna vanish. It will be like I was a trashbag, they put it inside me and when I die it'll decompose with me. Like it didn't exist. That makes me want to become a monster. Although I obviously don't want that either. (to be clear I'm nor suicidal).

I just want someone to understand me. But my boyfriend understands me. But he still tries to understand the other side and maybe that's why I feel like this. Because I just can't tell anything anymore.

THAT'S NOT IT EITHER. IT'S NOT. There's no words. Just make it stop.

.

Imma be ok I took 2 pills to calm down it's goonna be ok and am not suicidal it's ok it's just an episode.

[the-crepe-cat]

It's feeling again like I want to explode. Who is not trustable now? who do I have to defend myself from now? No one see? there's no one it's over. I don't want the disability assistant to see me teary. I thought for a min maybe I can't trust her and I'm so tired.

[the-crepe-cat]

Is this the pill withdrawal, what was the name again of that pill- pls tell me it's the pill withdrawal and not me being like this by nature.

I feel Killua is a "main" kin? Uh like, I feel all kins are equal but Killua is starting to feel like I'd want the blog to be themed around them, I don't like my tags being themed around Strawberry Crepe Cookie anymore. I want to change my blog but I also don't want to do this to the crepe cause they're important too.

And it feels like shit because it's just accounts man it's just different fandoms who cares? It's ok, it's ok it doesn't matter. But when I'm like this I just see black and white and I can't think straight and I don't know when it's gonna calm down.