Welcome to The Circus...

Shay. Late 20's, genderqueer, hard of hearing, circus freak. Living with Type 1 diabetes, pancreatitis, fibromyalgia, ADHD. MSW Candidate and Child and Youth Counsellor. It all comes up here. 

[so-over-ableism]

First Time Cane Users

I was talking with the very lovely guardian-system about canes and I wanted to compile what I said and some other stuff in a list!

What cane to buy:

Make sure it’s the proper height. My cane is adjustable and I have it on the heightest setting because of I’m 5’8”, 5’9” on a good day. If you’re shorter, you’ll need a shorter cane.

If your disability requires support from both sides of your body, maybe consider some form of forearm crutch. Personally, while both my legs are in pain, I normally take turns with what leg I lead with to give the other a break.

Have fun with the colors! I got a black one and I decorate it with duct tape depending on the season. Be proud of your cane and enjoy looking at it!

When walking with a cane:

Your arms are gonna hurt. The arm you use the cane with will be incredibly sore, especially in the elbow area. Your other arm will get tired from doing stuff like opening doors, holding things, and doing everything you can’t with your cane hand. I’m predominantly right handed, and while I’m able to write, brush my teeth, and open things with my left hand, it’s hard to get used to using my secondary hand because I use my right to use my cane.

Carrying things is gonna be a pain. You’ll struggle to lift things and walk, and back packs drag you down. If something can’t be held with one hand, don’t lift it. Ask for help.

Canes fall over. A lot. When you sit, put it in a place that you can reach it and it won’t fall over. This sometimes means putting it under your seat or on the floor.

Dealing with other people:

There will be people in your life who you didn’t realize are ableist who totally are. I have friends who don’t consider me disabled even with my cane and doctors saying I am. You’re gonna learn the hard way who supports you.

On a happier note, those who support you are wonderful! Hearing them politely offering their help or having them defend you from ableist jerks is a true sign of love.

As for the actual ableist, I know it’s hard to ignore them, but if you spend more time interacting with them, it’ll make you think more about it. remind them and remind yourself that yes, you’re disabled and you don’t owe them anything.

Internal ableism:

Walking with a cane comes with the horrible side effect of thinking you’re not “disabled enough”. This is where I’m here to tell you that everyone has a different way of dealing with a disability. Some disabled people use a wheelchair, and some don’t even need a mobility aid. Not being completely immobile doesn’t make you a faker or not disabled.

I personally practice paganism and all rituals that come along with that, so I find that doing spiritual work helps me feel more myself, but if you’re not pagan, try whatever helps you. Whether it’s your religion, spending time with friends, doing self care, reading, writing, drawing, WHATEVER, do it. You deserve it.

I hope this helps y’all! If you have any questions or just want to vent, send me a message!

[the-cyborg-circus-show]

Some people have engagement rings, we have a wheelchair

Out of context quote by Shay

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Toronto Fringe Festival Accessibility and Disability Art Round-up

Now that another year of Fringe has come and gone, I decided to write a post on my experiences at Fringe, both as a reviewer for NOW Magazine, and when we set ourselves loose on Fringe to explore for ourselves. It’s been a wild ride, impossible to sum up in one article, but I’m going to give it my best shot.

Keep reading

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Fringe review: Shadow Kingdom

Brilliant Kidsfest shadow puppet show about standing up to injustice will appeal to all ages

Go see Shadow Kingdom. Better yet, round up some of your friends in the struggle and take them with you. I feel like it’s a powerful antidote to the world we are living in today, and if kids can truly take in this message and hold it to heart, we are in amazing hands for the future! I’m so glad that this was the last Fringe show that I reviewed for NOW. It was an amazing note to end that experience on.

[ehlersdanlosgooglesearch]

[astudyintransience]

people are really saying that the guys from q eye are bad representation

those are….real people…….

[astudyintransience]

“they’re all stereotypes”

they’re people living their lives? shut up

[astudyintransience]

some people on here don’t know how to fuckin read

i don’t give a fuck about this show

i’ve watched like 4 episodes and most of those were with my friend’s mom (i watched 1 episode on my own and it was specifically the episode of the trans man)

this isn’t about defending the show or saying that anyone in it can never do wrong or whatever you wanna twist this post to mean

it’s saying to stop calling real living people “stereotypes” because doing so shows you don’t know what a fucking stereotype is

when you call actual, living gay and bi men “bad representation” for being their authentic selves because they’re too flamboyant or feminine for your liking, you’re just being fucking homophobic

[the-cyborg-circus-show]

I wonder though, where is the line between calling something stereotypical casting and calling someone stereotypical? Like, I think it's a valid point to say that the news queer eye guys were type-cast into stereotypical roles, and that maybe equally talented and dynamic presences, but those who were less stereotypical weren't cast for the roles. That doesn't invalidate their humanity, nor does it say that people like this don't exist in our communities, but it does say that this was casting that was not representative of the breadth of the diversity found within queer communities. No one should shit on an individual for being who they are, but being critical of the media machine and their ways of type-casting queer people is a totally valid criticism.

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Fringe review: Aspergers: More Tales Of A Social Misfit

Adam Schwartz's comedy show about living with autism lacks insight and borders on the offensive

My review of Aspergers: More Tales of a Social Misfit is up. It missed the mark, but I’m feeling really hopeful about what future versions of this work can bring. 

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Fringe review: The Magnificent Terrific Top-Notch Superb Show

This kids show's premise has potential, but it relies on gimmicks that soon become grating and repetitive

Check out my second Fringe Review! Up now on NOW Magazine!

[the-void-dragons]

Reminder to Abled people

The “perks” disabled people receive are not perks to the disabled. They only seem like perks if you have full bodily function. They aren’t benefits at all, they are the minimum required effort to help disabled people and they barely cut it. 

Special seating is to fit a wheel chair, our butts and legs are in the same amount of space as you. We’re also cramped and uncomfortable and in pain, don’t be telling us how you have it worse. Most of those seats aren’t even in good spots in the theater. 

Special parking is so we can even access the store. The walk from the middle of the lot for you is the same as the walk/wheel from the front of the lot for us. Many of us can barely make it inside from the handicapped parking.

Boarding planes first is because it takes extra time to do everything, including get in and out of chairs. They do not want US to block YOU. This is for YOUR benefit. 

This also applies to the special lines at roller coasters- They do not want US to block YOU, the majority, from having a good time. Odds are a disabled person can only ride a few rides before having to go home (as well as many rides bar people with health conditions), few to no disabled people are using this line. It is a SAFETY precaution as well, because a disabled person cannot handle the strain of waiting in line in the heat as long as an abled person can. In fact, most abled people barely tolerate it. Why would you expect a disabled person to not pass out and need emergency services and halt the line if abled people do it, too?

Using the Elevator is not a privilege. How the hell are we supposed to get wheel chairs, damaged body parts, and our generous helping of pain up the stairs? If you think this is a benefit, pinch yourself immediately because you are dreaming. And yes, elevators often make disabled people with sensitive constitutions (most of us) feel ill. It’s not even pleasant. 

Being Granted extra time on tests is because many of our brains freeze up when placed in a stressful situation. It also often takes longer for us to remember or process a question or answer. If you have testing anxiety, you are eligible too! Do not think it is limited to disabled people and it is a benefit. It’s so we don’t fail every test. It’s so we can KEEP UP with you. 

“Getting” to take their dogs everywhere, is the most misconceived of them all. The dog is specially trained to preform a task so we do not DIE suddenly in public. Sure, the dogs are loyal friends, but I am not exaggerating when I say it is to prevent DEATH. Please understand the dog is for personal safety. Like a rescue inhaler or an alarm. Do not complain that you cannot have a dog in public and do not bother our dogs. You are downplaying our illness. It is both rude and cruel. Are you at risk of dying suddenly that could be easily preventable with an assistant? No? Then leave us and our service animals alone because it is none of your business. 

Please think about WHY disabled people need this rather than decry the whole system that barely supports us. I am sure you mean well, but if you think that these things are “perks” or “benefits”, then you are part of the problem. 

A large population of disabled people don’t even get access to all of these things because of the extremely harmful “faker for benefits” mindset that has been widely adapted. It is killing us. Literally. Please be considerate of the needs of all human beings, not just those like you. 

[the-cyborg-circus-show]

Sometimes I wonder how much the people who I have in my communities impacts my perception of the world.

Like, I live in a world where I see EDS as a relatively common medical diagnosis and know many people with that diagnosis.

And like in my world, working with people who are chronically ill and working on chronically ill time is just how things get done.

While we live in terribly inaccessible worlds, I can tell most of my friends that something needs to be accessible and they have a general sense of what I mean by that and can even tell by what the thing is if I am talking about accessibility for my hearing or mobility needs.

It makes things really confusing for me to think about how there are whole worlds of people out there who knowing only one of the people that I know is their entire experience of the disabled and chronically ill community. 

So weird. 

[positivelyqueerace]

The Promise of Accessibility and the Reality are 2 Different Things

I went to the gas station. The car I drive requires me to unscrew the cap. Couldn’t do it today. I go in to ask for assistance.

They’ve got signs plastered all over with the blue wheelie. I wait patiently in line, then ask the cashier to remove the cap for me. They say, “I’m sorry, but I’m the only one working right now. Maybe you can ask a guy?”

Now this is perfectly understandable and I don’t blame the cashier for it. But what if today was a wheelchair day and I needed the whole thing done for me? Should the cashier close the shop (and check the bathrooms) and pump my gas? Should they send me to another gas station? Maybe I should trust one of the random customers with my bank card.

Here’s a simple solution to this problem: Have another cashier. Maybe not all the time, but it was 2PM (14:00) and the gas station was busy. They could’ve had more people.

Side note: I’ve also gone to shops that have products on the ramps, or blocking the sidewalk, or in front of the door button.

Accessibility needs to be enforced if it’s going to work at all. Don’t just slap the blue wheelie on something and pretend that suffices.

[beeth0ven]

one thing i miss about health is being able to get comfortable. like its not even the same as not being in pain you just. cant. get. comfy

[luseroftheyear]

adhd brain: school bad

also adhd brain, craving structure: summer…boring

[adhighdefinition]

adhd brain: work bad also adhd brain, craving structure: days off…boring

[the-cyborg-circus-show]

In my experience it isn't even structure, it's something to do that isn't mindlessly watching Netflix for 16 hours, and needing someone to support you in deciding wtf you're going to do with yourself.

[lilghostguy]

IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER

you have to come to terms with the fact my chronic illness is in fact, chronic

[i-will-follow-the-sun]

Meet the dog who plays Cheddar on 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'

Stewart, the 11-year old corgi, is a fan of food, not work

Greatest article I’ve ever read.

[the99noice-deactivated20190110]

i wouldn’t want to meet anyone else

[redwinerozanova]

[jedijenkins]

THE GOODEST COMEDIAN

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Out the Window

Written in the Style of The Globe and Mail

3 Stars

Written by: Liza Balkan

Directed by: Sarah Garton Stanley

Starring: Sarah Kitz, David Gerry, RH Thomson

Venue: Harbourfront Centre Theatre

Out the Window seeks to answer deep and important questions about the role of policing in situations where a person is experiencing a mental health crisis. Are the deaths of those who are in crisis inevitable, or is there another way that we, as a society, can respond to those in moments of vulnerability and need? Programmed as part of Toronto’s Luminato festival, the show is an exploration of violence in policing, and our responsibility to care about each other as human beings. Playwright Liza Balkan created Out the Window as a response to witnessing the 2000 death of Otto Vass during a violent encounter with Toronto police which resulted in his death. It acts as a realistic, yet sensitive depiction of the trauma that one experiences both as witness to such an event, and the way that witnessing such an event can unravel a witness’ life through court cases, inquests and attempts to make sense of everything they are experiencing.

Keep reading

[the-wheelchair-critic]

Preview for bug

Written in the style of the Toronto Star

There is an urgent need for Canadians to understand the legacy that colonization has left on Indigenous peoples. Bug’s creator Yolanda Bonnell explains that while it would be unheard of for Canadians to leave school unaware of shameful historical moments such as slavery or the holocaust, too many Canadians remain unaware of the residential school system and the intergenerational impacts that the forced removal of children has had on Indigenous peoples. That particularly for Indigenous women who are continuing to be silenced and murdered, there is an critical need to create space for these truths and create a dialogue where healing can occur. For Bonnell, the key to creating these kinds of spaces, is ensuring that they can safely hold the hard truths that need to be spoken.

Bug, running from June 22nd-24that The Theatre Centre as part of Toronto’s Luminato Festival,serves as a voice for the inconvenient Indigenous woman and child. It is a deep examination of how intergenerational trauma can create circumstances where Indigenous women are unable to overcome circumstances of addiction, abuse, and neglect. It is a circular telling of the ways in which generations of colonization and cultural genocide leave young women vulnerable to harmful forces that can make them feel loved.

Keep reading