The War-Torn King

I have finally been freed from the clutches of the culprit god... but not without losing a significant amount of blood, dignity, and the Triforce of Power.

[the-desert-god]

I have decided that I will be taking on the visage that I had in the Era of the Great Sea, and using a new name, Albatross- named after the bird of the great sea.

[russieraholic]

Big Shop Sale!

So I got a 4 star review on my shop. Not the biggest deal but it was because the post office didn’t ship it in time and it didn’t have to do with me at all so I’m kinda bummed.

I need to recover from that, so everything in my shop is now 50% off. And hey like, I know maaaybe this is a little bit of a shady practice but… if you DM me and promise you’ll leave a 5 star review to help my shop, I’ll give you a code for 69% off because I’m funny.

Anyway. My stuff is pretty cool I make pins and earrings for queers like me. And this is also my only source of income so… by doing this you’re helping me stay afloat and build my future.

[qyoaa-deactivated20221114]

You make yuga and I'll make a ganon?

// who this?? idk if we have a ganon or nah

[the-desert-god]

We have two of us.

[the-twilight-god]

This is true.

[the-desert-god]

You are b a n n e d.

[the-twilight-god]

But you just said there are two of us.

[the-desert-god]

You are not one of them.

[qyoaa-deactivated20221114]

// no moooore

[the-desert-god]

“No more” or “No, more”?

[qyoaa-deactivated20221114]

You make yuga and I'll make a ganon?

// who this?? idk if we have a ganon or nah

[the-desert-god]

We have two of us.

[the-twilight-god]

This is true.

[the-desert-god]

You are b a n n e d.

[the-twilight-god]

But you just said there are two of us.

[the-desert-god]

You are not one of them.

[qyoaa-deactivated20221114]

You make yuga and I'll make a ganon?

// who this?? idk if we have a ganon or nah

[the-desert-god]

We have two of us.

[the-twilight-god]

This is true.

[the-desert-god]

You are b a n n e d.

[qyoaa-deactivated20221114]

You make yuga and I'll make a ganon?

// who this?? idk if we have a ganon or nah

[the-desert-god]

We have two of us.

[marcus-baessler]

Marcus is standing in the roof of the warehouse. No idea how he got up there but hes vibin

[uno-themerchant]

Yo Marcus get the fuck down from there, I don't have insurance-

[lockhartofseiros]

Eyo Marc can we vibe with you?

[marcus-baessler]

Yeah sure! Let's vibe together :)

[eternal-khronos]

The rest of the DILFs are now vibing on the roof.

[marcus-baessler]

Yes I have an army of dads to vibe with! :)

Happy lil dumbass

[the-silent-right-hand]

Hopefully the warehouse ceiling can sustain our weight. Oh well, that is not my problem.

[marcus-baessler]

It will don't worry and in any case, Uno can hanle it!

Uno can be heard cussing and screaming in the background, Marcus decides to ignore it.

[the-desert-god]

…Apologies Uno, if something happens I will help you fix it. But it is vibe time right now.

[i-yueyue]

I've always been curious what would Wind Waker Ganondorf look like in your style?

It is the first drawing!　

WWのガノンを初めて描きました!

[mattias-baessler]

Mattias bought a small building, on it there is a a sign on the door that reads:

The league of Dads is looking for available dilfs all around the area, hoping to discuss fatherly activities and advice. Come inside for more information. Mattias is in the conference room awaiting for the fellow dads to come by.

[the-desert-god]

…Rumor has it that this is they new hotspot for the congregation of the League of Dads… I brought the boys with me, hopefully that will not be an issue.

Alba knocked on the door.

[mattias-baessler]

Ah please come in!

Mattias opened the door to the conference room

Welcome everyone, please take a seat and make yourselves at home!

[eternal-khronos]

This guy is too big to sit on a chair and crushes about three of them before deciding to just sit on the floor.

My apologies.

[mattias-baessler]

It's okay don't worry about them pal

So, how about we all introduce ourselves! I'm Mattias Baessler! And I'm really honored that you guys came to the Dad League!

[lockhartofseiros]

Grahahahah! Of course we would, brother! I told the other guys about it soon as the rumors caught up with me!

You can call me Russ! The guys consider me the overwhelming optimist of the group. I can also breathe underwater but that isn’t important right now.

[mattias-baessler]

Nice to meet ya Russ! It's wonderful to meet someone as positive as you! Also It's really cool that you can breathe underwater!

[the-desert-god]

He is our talker, gets us out of iffy situations with his smooth talk. I am Albatross, but one may call me Alba- the others often praise my logical reasoning and de-escalation skills.

[mattias-baessler]

Mattias bought a small building, on it there is a a sign on the door that reads:

The league of Dads is looking for available dilfs all around the area, hoping to discuss fatherly activities and advice. Come inside for more information. Mattias is in the conference room awaiting for the fellow dads to come by.

[the-desert-god]

…Rumor has it that this is they new hotspot for the congregation of the League of Dads… I brought the boys with me, hopefully that will not be an issue.

Alba knocked on the door.

[thisgirlapunk-deactivated202211]

[circuits-unending]

Ganon

[furby-yeehaw]

Ganon

[link-is-a-dork]

[moefongo]

Dilf just dropped @mattias-baessler

[the-desert-god]

Did they just say a new DILF dropped?

Oi lads! New DILF!

[the-desert-god]

I have heard of you… you adore your steed. I would like to hear of them.

- @the-horse-god

Ah, Phantom? Yes. He is my noble steed and good friend, I have traveled with him throughout the eras. He along with my wife’s mare Avalanche, reside in the backyard stables.

[the-desert-god]

@the-twilight-god

Have you heard that more of our incarnations have made their appearance here?

[the-twilight-god]

Indeed. However, I have yet to encounter one for myself other than you.

[the-desert-god]

Worry not, the time will come. Quell your enthusiasm for the moment.

[the-twilight-god]

You already know that patience is not an ally of mine.

[archive-askganondorftobadragmire]

Perhaps my appearance will solve this patience problem you have.

[the-twilight-god]

Why yes. Yes, indeed it does.

He smirked, quite pleased.

Come, sit a moment.

[archive-askganondorftobadragmire]

Of course.

He takes a seat and stares at his counterpart before smiling, leaving his sharp teeth in clear view.

Seeing one's reflection given form is rather strange, but I am surprisingly already accustomed to it.

[the-desert-god]

…I have made it a personal note that both of you enjoy flaunting your mandibles.

Yes, as are we… clearly. However I never turn down an opportunity to meet yet another incarnation of the Gerudo King.

I am from the era of the Great Sea, and my affiliate here is from the era of Twilight. And you are…?

[the-desert-god]

@the-twilight-god

Have you heard that more of our incarnations have made their appearance here?

[duskboundwanderer]

i'm making it my mission to pester all of you >:3

[the-desert-god]

Please I have a wife and kids.

A lovely wife. And very, very, very needy kids and I am tired. I retired a long time ago.

[the-desert-god]

@the-twilight-god

Have you heard that more of our incarnations have made their appearance here?

[the-twilight-god]

Indeed. However, I have yet to encounter one for myself other than you.

[the-desert-god]

Worry not, the time will come. Quell your enthusiasm for the moment.