I wish I was a duck .

Max. they/them, 32.

[austimpowerz]

MOODBOARD FOR WHEN SHIT IS FUCK

[laqueus]

[penroseparticle]

This website is elite. This website is the blueprint, it's the pinnacle. There is no website like it. I lwill never leave this website

[what-even-is-thiss]

So many people with migraines are like “zero calorie sweeteners give me migraines” and then people are like “no you don’t there’s no proof for that” and yet whenever I eat stevia my head feels like there’s a thousand metal rats trying to escape from it no matter how many times I’m told that I’m making it up.

[hooved]

lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

[victusinveritas]

"Close Personal Friend Mr. Drugs" has had me roaring with laughter for the last few minutes.

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

[ravioliet]

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

[nineherbscharm]

is there anything funnier than somebody who has a tumblr account trying to seem like theyre above fandom

[bisexual-cyborg]

via @coniello

[officialrung-deactivated2020010]

you should never date someone for the sake of dating someone. you should be good friends, if not best friends with your partner. if you cant go to your partner for personal advice, if youre afraid to call your partner out on something, if you cant laugh and have fun with your partner, or if your conversations are only ever performative affection, you don’t have a good relationship

[curtains-of-beef]

“if your conversations are only ever performative affection” woah my bones grew more bones and shook 

[the-big-mood]

Clark Kent gaslighting Lois Lane into believing he’s not Superman.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[riflebrass]

[molabuddy]

how miis stand when you make them say hi to eachother for no fucking reason

[greelin]

“when i was little” brother you are 5’3. so you must mean yesterday. or five minutes ago.

[segamascott]

“i'll be there shortly” yeah. we know.

[notahorseindisguise]

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

[oplishin]

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

[oplishin]

OH I'M SURE

[wordfather]

if i was in jurassic park i'd be fine because the dinosaurs would love me and therefore not eat me

[whyenn-reader]

normalise saying ''what the fuck is wrong with you'' to mean people

[whyenn-reader]

stop making this post cute. it's blunt and violent. it's about humiliating needlessly cruel people not about bickering with loved ones.

[crabussy]

this one gets it. it's a flippant yet enigmatic and inclusive hand wave in survey form and I love it