The Embroidery Bard

Chaotic good embroidery and cross stitch. 🔥theembroiderybard.etsy.com 🗡️Custom RPG Character Cross Stitch on Ko-Fi

[houndmother]

deriding things as performative is anti third space

[houndmother]

im sitting on a patio at my favorite cafe rn and im hand stitching them hem of a dress im working on. and i can see why someone would say im being performative by working on something like this in a public space. but frankly theres no element of that. i just want to work somewhere that isnt my apartment. i want to be in public, i wanna chat with strangers, i wanna see the world. it’s nice to hang out somewhere that isnt my home!

[houndmother]

what i mean is when you say people are being performative you discourage them from doing shit they love in public. and thats no way to foster the world we want to see.

[sosuperawesome]

SewBeautifulx on Etsy

[the-embroidery-bard]

sooooo many French knots 💀 I attempted a pendant-size forest scape and just that 1” square amount nearly drove me to tears

[doodleoo]

what you learn from hobbies:

consistent practice opens up whole worlds of skill that you couldn't imagine

making mistakes in the process of learning is not only natural, it is also essential

activities that you enjoy can give you more energy back than you spent on them

wow everything is so expensive

[doodleoo]

my hands hurt

[the-embroidery-bard]

HAPPY PRIDE, US-IANS🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Here’s a free pattern featuring my first and favorite muse, the goose with a knife. Go forth, stab fabric, punch n@zis!

[the-embroidery-bard]

I would love it if you tagged me when/if you finish, I wanna see them 🤩 I'm also on IG

[the-embroidery-bard]

What Doesn't Kill Me Gives Me More XP Cross-Stitch Pattern by The Embroidery Bard

Ko-Fi | Etsy | IG

[the-embroidery-bard]

HAPPY PRIDE, US-IANS🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Here’s a free pattern featuring my first and favorite muse, the goose with a knife. Go forth, stab fabric, punch n@zis!

[aluradragon]

Crochet castle! 🏰

[littlealienproducts]

Surprise set of 10 ceramic buttons by TodoBunto

[samanthalanetextiles]

Summer garden window scene cat cross stitch pattern 🐈🌸🪻🌻🌷💖

This design has no backstitching!! Yay!! And it’s available to download here >

This cute little kitty is excitedly gazing outside at her garden full of gorgeous flowers, watching the world go by and keeping an eye out for any birds. She’s counting down the minutes until she’s allowed to go outside and play in the sun and cause a little bit of mischief. 🥹

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."

5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and i STILL CANNOT FIND THE TERM.

i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:

the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...

[lachrymose-lyricist]

is this of any use

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

SO IT IS!!!

Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:

The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!

Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏

Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!

in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏

[the-embroidery-bard]

What Doesn't Kill Me Gives Me More XP 🗡️ cross stitch pattern by The Embroidery Bard

Etsy | Ko-Fi | IG

[satanfemme]

[ID: a photo of the back of a metal street sign. drawn on the sign in black marker is an illustration of wired earbuds. this drawing is labeled "hedphon." End ID]

can I show u guys my favorite graffiti ever

[stitchposts]

[the-embroidery-bard]

IG | Ko-Fi | Etsy

[the-embroidery-bard]

IG | Ko-Fi | Etsy

[the-embroidery-bard]

Smol dumpster fire:

Slightly larger dumpster fire:

Etsy | Ko-Fi | IG

[sergle]

anyways here's butter 💛

[the-embroidery-bard]

Added a few more patterns to my Ko-Fi!