The Hamburger Helper

Helps Hamburgers

[pukicho]

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

[the-hamburger-helper]

The quietest guy in the word: hey man do you want some hamburger helper?

[pukicho]

I can shoot fire but I'm sleepy rn

[b-i-beast291]

Can you shoot some later, when you're not tired?

[pukicho]

No I have to go eat

[the-hamburger-helper]

May I make a suggestion?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in a funk bc i wanna eat scrambled emu eggs

[the-hamburger-helper]

sam but for hamburgers

[cryptotheism]

My gargoyle wants breakfast

[the-hamburger-helper]

☝️I have a suggestion

[pukicho]

I wish I was wrought with something just for fun

[the-hamburger-helper]

Try hatred!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in fairness i have amputated DOZENS of limbs without a single patient asking for a "refund" so i don't know what this sudden nonsense about "malpractice" so and so is going on about

[soulpovica]

were the patients aware or awake when you amputated them?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

THIS IS HEALTH AND SAFETY RUN AMUCK

[the-hamburger-helper]

If you’re looking for other hobbies than amputating limbs, cooking hamburgers might be enjoyable for you! There’s no health or safety concerns when cooking for other people, so there’s nothing to worry about!

[i-am-a-fish]

why does my neck hurt when I lay in my bed. I can't imagine a single incentive. what could it possibly have to gain

[the-hamburger-helper]

Maybe it wants hamburgers.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I just named a character Old Teeth. So that's how my day is going.

[the-hamburger-helper]

How does this “Old Teeth” feel about hamburgers?

[bonesbeetle]

i love when SCP photos are clearly just taken by the author. ohhh fuck it's the some-guy-in-his-shower entity!!

[the-hamburger-helper]

Luckily, no one has seen any real footage of me. Only the things that I allow.

[pukicho]

I ate grass as a kid and I did an allergy panel recently and found out I am allergic to all grasses and trees. Is this nature’s punishment for my hubris?

[the-hamburger-helper]

If you decide you want to eat anything better than grass, you know who to call!