it's complicated...

Hanna Marin | Pennsylvania | Rosewood |18 | Senior | Taken by Caleb Rivers

[tomlinszain-blog]

"I would rather you hate me and be safe

than the other way around.” 

[the-hanna--marin]

Text: I missed you.

I missed you too Caleb, sooooo much! I'm so glad you're back home.

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

Heading back to Texas in a few hours. I'm going to miss my Hanna..

[the-hanna--marin]

I’ll miss you too Em..a lot. But it’s okay because we’ll see each other soon, I promise...

[paigeatyourservice]

the-hanna—marin replied to your post: // Excuse me while I plunge myself off a cliff…

The mod is never coming back.-. It’s been like..4+ weeks. Ugh. haha but your Emily needs to get back on so you guys can have cute paily moments!

// I know, I know. I’m just being overly...

[the-hanna--marin]

// I believe Ash comes back tomorrow (or the day after that) so that will be exciting to hear about her trip! And omg yes Hannily moments! And our Aria was on recently, but hasn't been on since. It's just me and you buddyyyy

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

Hanna my bestie 💜

[the-hanna--marin]

Love my boo <33

[the-hanna--marin]

On Semi-Hiatus untill August 13th

I will be able to message, so if you need to tell me something or you want to plot, just shoot me a message (:

byeeeeee.

[the-hanna--marin]

Birthday Skype! || Hanna & Paige

[the-hanna--marin]

Paige heard the phone go off, and Hanna deal with it. Maybe now was a good time to disengage conversation. She needed to talk to her mom anyway, since now she was sane enough to talk. “Did you need to take that?" she asked, hoping she did. But seeing her turn off the phone meant that it wasn’t, and so more talking ensued.

She laughed at the idea of the ‘old person sorority’ thing. And really she probably didn’t give her mom enough credit here. She has been through lots of things in her life; this one just happens to be up there in worst timing ever. She brushed the last of her tears away from her face, saying “Yeah…" Not sure what she was supposed to say next, she let Hanna talk, just enjoying that she wasn’t completely alone for this.

"I know this is tough, but you really shouldn't be stressing at a time like this. It's probably the worst thing you can do. especially right before college" As the words came from Hanna's mouth it made her think; she was definitely not taking her own advice here. She was practically freaking out on the inside about telling her mom that she's going to California with Caleb, and not London.

Hanna watched as Paige kept glancing at her phone with an urgent look. "Hey..I'll let you call your mom and work things out. We can just talk more if you want when you and Emily come and visit, okay?" Hanna grinned realizing that her friends were coming to visit and she couldn't be more excited. Waving at Paige and saying a energetic "byeeeee" Hanna ended the call and signed out.

[the-hanna--marin]

Birthday Skype! || Hanna & Paige

[the-hanna--marin]

She focused very hard on her breathing as Hanna was trying to calm her down. She didn’t want to let her know she was trying to avoid an attack here, so she had to at least try to seem okay. And the words actually did help a little. Although she knew all this already, hearing them from someone else made them a bit more concrete.

She couldn’t stop her crying completely, but Paige managed to slow it down a bit, enough to speak on a semi-rational level. “It’s not me I’m worried about," she said a bit regretfully. “It’s my mom. I’m leaving for California in a month and now my dad is leaving her." She choked on her words a little thinking of her mom alone during this. All cause she fucked up. Again.

Eating her salad and intensely listening to Paige, Hanna heard her phone vibrate repeatedly. She glanced over at it and saw "Caleb<3" flash up on the screen indication he was calling her. She reached over and turned her phone off, in hopes he would understand that she was busy and dealing with something of great importance. Sure she missed the sound of his voice, but Paige was her friend in need, and just a little more important right now.

Sighing, Hanna realized her and Paige were "in the same boat" "I know how you feel Paige, my mom's going to be left alone too while I'm gone, and most likely Emily's mom too with her dad going back to the national guard and all. But we just have to trust that they will all be strong. I'm sure you'll go visit her as much as possible and that will make her more than happy. Hey, maybe we should create a support group that all the moms left alone should go to, or they could all start a old person sorority" Hanna smiled, trying to make a joke and lighten the mood.

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

I'm giving Hanna the best birthday present ever even though i'm days late.

[the-hanna--marin]

I love you too Hanna! Yes that’s a must!

I'm really happy to have a friend like you, Emily. You've made my life sooo much better. I don't think anyone has a friendship as strong as ours.

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

I'm giving Hanna the best birthday present ever even though i'm days late.

[the-hanna--marin]

Aw Hanna!

Love you, Em! I really can't wait to see you. We can all have quality girl timeeeee, yay!

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

I'm giving Hanna the best birthday present ever even though i'm days late.

[the-hanna--marin]

I am very serious! I miss you girls like crazy.  I figured it would.

Well we miss you too! I have the greatest best friend in the world.....you!

[plldailly]

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

I'm giving Hanna the best birthday present ever even though i'm days late.

[the-hanna--marin]

I have to talk to Paige but i’m planning to come to Rosewood to visit everyone soon. 

Are you serious!? That would be the absolute best present ever!

[the-hanna--marin]

Birthday Skype! || Hanna & Paige

[the-hanna--marin]

Paige heard her try to comfort her and laughed slightly in disbelief. She was still in shock from hearing what her parents had decided to do. Logically, she knew that it probably had little to do with her. They had been fighting for a while now, and not just because she came out. But right now, she wasn’t thinking logically. She was feeling every bit of guilt she had ever laid on herself, thinking that if maybe she had done something different, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

"But I was that final straw. My dad hasn’t talked to me since the day after prom. He’s probably so mad at me." She put her head in her hands, the room now starting to spin a bit. Panic. “If I had just rented the damn suit, he wouldn’t have known, things would still be okay…" She was so upset with herself; she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to hold herself together. Why did Emily have to be out for the day?

Hanna could tell Paige was analyzing she or her parents had done in the past few months that would lead to this.  Hanna had basically gone through the same thing. She knew she was probably trying to find every excuse to blame it on herself but Hanna would not let that happen. She needed Paige to calm down so they could have a rational conversation about the topic.

"Hey, you should not be ashamed or regret wearing that suit to prom. It's who you are and what you like. They're your parents, it's there job to understand and support you..and I know it might not seem like they have been lately, but they love you no matter what." Hanna was trying her best to make Paige feel better, but was hopelessly failing. Looking back at Paige with her head in her hands Hanna spoke up again "Shh, Paige I promise everything will be fine, just calm down. My parents got a divorce, and I'm fine. You're much stronger than me, so I know you can get through this."

[the-hanna--marin]

ooc;

[em-fieldsxo-deactivated20130814]

I'm giving Hanna the best birthday present ever even though i'm days late.

[the-hanna--marin]

what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it?!?!??! Tellll meeeeeeeeeeee tell me tell me!

[the-hanna--marin]

Birthday Skype! || Hanna & Paige

[the-hanna--marin]

She stared at Hanna for a minute, deciding whether to tell her the news. She had remembered her saying something about her parents splitting up when they had met at the coffee shop a couple months before. And she knew what would happen if she kept it to herself. Right now she had a lot on her plate, what with college just around the corner and Emily just recovering from her appendicitis attack.

"That was my mom," she sighed. She wiped her tear away only for it to be replaced with a couple more. “She told me that she’s splitting with my dad." She looked away, slightly ashamed to say those words. It really felt like she was the dividing factor. “If I hadn’t worn that stupid suit at prom, none of this would have happened!"

Looking back at Paige staring at her all hanna could think about is what was the worst scenarios ever. Was Emily okay? Did someone die? Did A have anything to do with this? A was the last thing Hanna or any of them needed to deal with, with college coming up and everyone moving away, so Hanna hoped it had nothing to do with it.

Hearing those words come out of Paige's mouth immediately brought back memories of when Hanna's parents split up. Of coarse, it was a little different situation because Hanna was twelve at the time and her dad was cheating on her mom, but Hanna still understood how Paige was feeling, and wanted to let her know that things were going to be alright.

"Oh, Paige..I-I'm so sorry." Hanna watched as Paige looked away from the camera. "Hey, listen. It probably has nothing at all to do with you, or whether or not you wore a suit to prom or not. Don't blame yourself..It will only make things so much harder."