Squid Juice

he/her 18 yrs old (minors are fine; this blog is pretty sfw)

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[arctic-hands]

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

[evilsoup]

[gilliagandy]

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

[justalittlesolarpunk]

It’s solar and wind and tidal and geothermal and hydropower.

It’s plant-based diets and regenerative livestock farming and insect protein and lab-grown meat.

It’s electric cars and reliable public transit and decreasing how far and how often we travel.

It’s growing your own vegetables and community gardens and vertical farms and supporting local producers.

It’s rewilding the countryside and greening cities.

It’s getting people active and improving disabled access.

It’s making your own clothes and buying or swapping sustainable stuff with your neighbours.

It’s the right to repair and reducing consumption in the first place.

It’s greater land rights for the commons and indigenous peoples and creating protected areas.

It’s radical, drastic change and community consensus.

It’s labour rights and less work.

It’s science and arts.

It’s theoretical academic thought and concrete practical action.

It’s signing petitions and campaigning and protesting and civil disobedience.

It’s sailboats and zeppelins.

It’s the speculative and the possible.

It’s raising living standards and curbing consumerism.

It’s global and local.

It’s me and you.

Climate solutions look different for everyone, and we all have something to offer.

[simply-a-dream]

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[creative-anchorage]

[suriandtaal]

[passumbapper]

it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass

[passumbapper]

Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All

ingredience:

lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)

whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.

granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.

water as needed

equipment:

a few nonmetallic mixing bowls

a mesh strainer

a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth

a kitchen scale

a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)

a potato masher

juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds -  and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.

 Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.

Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).

taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.

citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.

some tried and true flavor combos:

straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic

lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)

lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)

lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)

some cocktail type combos, booze optional:

lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin

lime & mint + white rum

lime & ginger + dark rum

lime & cucumber + gin

lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila

lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey

[madgastronomer]

holy gods

[the-juiciest-squid]

reblogging so i can find this again lol

[scramratz]

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

The whole plot of Shadow Lord. To Me

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[oneefin]

number theory* diagram

[michaelrotonal]

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

[byjove]

one time when I was at the ER there was a guy there who had been attacked by a bear and drove himself there (small black bear) (clawed his chest while he was trying to break up a fight between his hound dog and the bear) and that is one of those Appalachia moments I choose not to share regularly because it is so ridiculous it sounds like I’m making a parody of the region. he was an older guy and partially deaf so I could hear every word of his story from behind the curtain. crazy.

[the-juiciest-squid]

appalachia mention 🔥🔥🔥

[necro-lag]

There's always funny ways to expose Palpatine plans before everything, but do you know what the funniest one for me? If it happened because of how old he is, his age finally caching up to him in the worst time possible!

Imagine he had like a small heart attack: Anakin is not doing exactly what he planned, the jedi are trying to find him and the senate is just annoying him out out of this existence, he's stressed pass the levels he should be even able to be and his body can't take it, okay, he can just heal and control himself with the Force, but no. Of course not. It happened in a public space, he couldn't just walk off a heart attack whitout looking suspicious so he let's himself be taken to the hospital, and tries to just play it off. But the staff doesn't let him, how would they? Palpatine is the chancellor of the republic and has a very advanced age already, something like this needs proper care even after he lefts the hospital!

So instead of just letting him leave after a few hours, they hold him back and calm him by saying they're calling his family to come take him home and take care of him. (What family??? He doesn't have a family, he has like one or two cousins still alive maybe that he hasn't seen in 50 years, who are they calling?????)

And in another room, poor Fox, was the one tasked which going into Palpatine files, to find his comm emergency link (It's a mandatory procedure after a certain age in the senate, the man doesn't remember it himself) and when he calls it, just stares at the hologram for a few seconds.

????: He had an heart attack you say?

Fox: Yes. Hm... Has this comm always-

????: You're asking if it was my link when he put it? Yes. Always been. He knew it too. It was completely intentional.

Fox: I see, hm. Well the doctor and nurses insisted in him having someone to accompany him home and take care of him afterwards so...

????, smiling mischievously: I'll be there in twenty.

Half an hour later, the nurses are saying that Palpatine paperwork has been taken care off and he can finally go home now.

Palpatine: Go home with who, exactly?

Nurse, completely unaware of what's going on, smilling as she points to the door: The marechal commander has bought your son of course!

Fox, completely still as Darth Maul shows up in the door with the smugest smile possible known to the galaxy, carrying Palpatine bag and stuff as someone who's used to it: ...

Maul: You forgot to change your emergency comm link old man.

And now the republic is in complete chaos because not only the first sith lord to show up in years is the emergency contact of the chancellor, but he also actually is! Because he went through the whole procedure to mark Palpatine leave of the hospital perfectly, he knew every health and life information necessary and more, and when he took Palpatine to his apartment, he knew the door password! HE KNEW EVERY PASSWORD!

And he's going to be permanently now too apparently, because he changed the old contact to his current one (Silly father! That was my contact twelve years ago! Good thing I still had access to it to pick up the call!) and mark himself as his only son. And Fox, now having to stay at Palpatine home to make sure of the man safety, watches as Maul moves through the place as someone who's been there, as someone who lived there, he doesn't even do anything! He acts as the perfect caretaker as the republic burns around them and Palpatine looks as if he aged another 100 years.

[stellanslashgeode]

Okay, so. Star Wars has all these concepts that weirdo New Left boomer George Lucas tosses in there but because of storyteller limitations it would kill the plot to fully explain them all, so later writers have to come in for the spin-off materials and bat clean-up to fully explain all this crazy crap. And I would like to talk about something that made me actively angry at first, but which I now adore. And that is the Naboo.

So much about Naboo culture is infuriating from a logical standpoint. They have a queen, okay. A constitutionally elected queen? Weird, okay. Don't know why they'd do that but... She's FOURTEEN? Excuse me? Is it a ceremonial thing or, oh no it's not? Legit head of state? Why does she dress like that? Why does she talk like that? I'm so tired.

Here's the explainer. Let me go cook.

There's this joke in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where the last living human goes back in time and finds out humans aren't actually from Earth, but an alien culture that tricked all the middle managers, pedantic weirdos, and other infuriating folk into getting in a space arc which they gave the wrong evacuation coordinates to simply get rid of them. The Naboo are like this but they're all artists and poets and hippies, but like classy ones. They fled their home planet during a war and crash landed on Naboo, then did a colonism to the Gungans because, hey, they were fleeing a war and it was do or die. This spiritual rot in their creation story is later rectified by Padmé. But it's super important to their cultural psychology. They're hippies, but will subjugate if needed. They are "peaceful" but I guarantee you every single one of them has a tiny extremely shiny pistol up their sleeve and they will draw down on you if backed against a wall.

The scene that I think says it all is at the end of Phantom Menace when Padmé is surrounded by Nute Gunray and his droids, they've got her dead to rights, but Sabé her double creates a distraction so the queen can make it to her throne. This one piece of furniture is the Naboo in a nutshell. It's richly carved with artistic details, it has two seats to the side so the queen's handmaidens can read the lips of people in the back of the room and use hand signals to communicate with the queen while she can remain focused mostly on who is speaking to her. It is hundreds of years old. And it has a secret compartment in the armrest that is FULL OF GUNS. Layers of artistic opulence hiding their true intentions.

The Naboo were created to be backwards compatible with Princess Leia. They're compassionate pacifists, but they will shot you if needed.

Why do they elect teenage royalty? It's a little creepy. It's giving "age of consent is emotional maturity". It makes no sense.

The explanation they give outsiders is they want youthful idealism untainted by cynicism. What they don't tell you is that they take kids with stated interest in politics and put them in an advanced highly competitive Leadership Academy which is like Model UN mixed with Battle Royale. Well, they don't kill each other but it's intense. It's like what the clones went though just all diplomacy training and tea ceremonies all the time. Which is crazy but so Naboo.

Oh, and all the delegates for the royalty election run using pseudonyms for security. Imagine voting for the head of state but you can't run a background check. It's so crazy.

Why does Padmé dress like that? Well, fashion is one of Naboo's major industries so it's like she's wearing the entire Fall line catalog at once. To advertise not only the talent of her people, but to show how much they favor her. BUT that dress has multiple layers of padding and resin armor. And aforementioned spots for those little silver blasters. And it breaks up her silhouette making her harder to shoot. And it's so elaborate you pay more attention to the crazy dress and not if the person wearing it is really the queen or a decoy. Everything about Naboo is like this.

Queen Amidala has that weird accent while Padmé does not. Because all her handmaidens helped create the accent together so they all can imitate it. It's like if you gave girls at a rowdy sleepover the job of federal counterintelligence. That's what they came up with.

The handmaidens wear colorful identical clothes so you can't tell them apart, hoods to partially conceal their identity, and they don't wear the queen's fancy makeup. So one of them can be the queen and spy on people in the audience. Because the Naboo don't trust shit for shit.

Their public face is so silly to hide all the truly weird shit they do behind the scenes.

They use their reputation as artist hippies to conceal multiple layers of subterfuge and disguise their methods of self defense and assuage their paranoia due to wartime trauma and their disturbing colonial past. All of them are completely off their rocker even by Star Wars standards. And I love them so much. They put on a show so everyone thinks they have them figured out but what they have going on is far more weirder and more sinister than meets the eye. You know how catty, neurotic, and competitive art school students stereotypically are? Yeah, planet art student. Love them!

There you go, @charmwasjess

[the-juiciest-squid]

my 80 year old catholic grandfather just sent me an article on how to harness the "chaotic healing energy of tonight's scorpio full moon" and i just. genuinely don't know how to respond to that tbh

[twin-sun-archives]

Your weekly Maul Meme Monday

[korbinmoon]

Happy birthday to meee 🥰

The best present to the artist is a reblog!! So for that here's some of my favourite star wars fanart I made 🥺🤲🩵 or you could reblog any other piece you like!!

I also would be extremely happy if you give me a coin on boosty 🤭

[dotshasgummibuns]

some maul shadow lord memes 🥸

[alorz]

i feel like I'm seeing more and more she/he he/hers she/hims every day and it makes me so fucking happy . guygirls and girlguys one day we might even get our pronouns on a pin